Until Your Heart Stops Beating
by cwc72906
Summary: Despite Jacob's desperate attempts to change her mind, Bella has made her forever choice to marry Edward. But forever is cut short so soon, leaving her shattered and unsure of what the future will hold. Can She find it within herself to forgive Edward? Will she choose to listen to what her heart's been telling her all along? MATURE THEMES. POST BD WEDDING.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This story was recently deleted due to a computer error. I am sincerely sorry for the inconvenience this caused those who were previous followers of my story. I appreciate your support and patience. Thank you.**

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the books in the Twilight Saga Series. Stephanie Meyer owns all things Twilight.** I DO NOT!**

**CHAPTER 1**

I laid awake, staring aimlessly at the ceiling above me. My thoughts running wild through my head. I was getting married tomorrow. I would be Mrs. Cullen...

I tossed and turned in bed, growing restless. My thoughts soon wandering to a familiar place they shouldn't ... Jacob.

He was on my mind each day and each night. His absence had created such an unexpected emptiness in me. I had started to see his face among strangers at the store or in town, causing me to do a double take on more than one occasion. It had been weeks since I'd seen him last and my very heart ached from missing his presence.

Try as I may, I could not hide this feeling from Edward. He knew how very much I missed Jacob.

Though he pretended it didn't bother him, occasionally I would see the sadness on his face. There were times I would even dream of Jacob in ways that I shouldn't. Even seeing brown eyed dark haired children running through a large back yard. I would wake up feeling entirely disoriented and confused... so damn confused.

I longed to hear his warm voice again, so much so, that it was causing me to feel a sense of doubt about the wedding. I pushed it aside as simply just a case of cold feet.

That's all this was... Right?

Every bride got them before her wedding. I was surely no exception to the rule.

I soon heard Charlie wandering down the hall and got up from my bed to check on him, glancing over to the clock, noticing it was nearly three in the morning. Why would he be awake at this hour? Then again, I was one to talk. I couldn't sleep myself.

I opened the door to my room, and walked down stairs to see Charlie sitting on the couch. A look of concern on his face. His head snapped up in my direction when he heard me enter the room.

"Sorry honey... did I wake you?"

I shook my head, and joined him on the couch. "No... I couldn't sleep myself."

Charlie sighed and wrapped his arm around me. "You're not my little girl anymore." He said. His voice strained.

I leaned into him, laying my head on his shoulder. "I'll always be your little girl. Even when I'm old and grey. That won't ever change."

He chuckled, kissing the top of my head. "Yea... you sure will."

It saddened me to think that this would be my last night here with him. That I would be moved out when I returned from my honeymoon with Edward in a few short weeks. It didn't seem real. Charlie cleared his throat and gave me a look.

"Listen Bella, I haven't brought this up before because frankly... I didn't know what to say, but seeing we're here now, and out of time. I guess now is as good a time as any." He stammered over his words, a slight shade of red color settling into his cheeks.

This couldn't be good, and I was really hoping it wasn't going to be as painful to talk about, as he had just made it seem.

"Billy called me after you went to sleep..."

I cringed and felt my heart begin to break at the mere mention of Jake's father.

"He said nothing's changed. There's been no word from Jacob for weeks now. I have put out all the flyers I can, asking everyone in ears distance if they've heard from him, or seen him lately. No one seems to know anything. It's like he damn vanished. Sam is no help. Even Quil and Embry seem to avoid talking about it. Billy doesn't seem to be nearly as worried as he should be. They must all just think he's blowing off some needed steam. That he'll be back. Thing is... I know if it was you missing, I would be beside myself. I wouldn't rest until you were found, Bella." He finished with a heavy sigh, getting up from the couch.

I shuddered to think of how hurt Jacob was. No one had heard from him in weeks. It broke my heart.

Jacob had occupied my thoughts on more than one occassion since he left. Billy had tried to stop him, but he ran off the minute he received the wedding invitation. I had been outraged at Alice for sending it to him. I knew she meant no true harm, but also knew Jake would surely see it as a slap in the face.

Every few days I would call Seth and find out if they had heard from him. But it was always the same news. "No... He's not talking to us. Sorry Bella. We'll let you know if we hear anything."

It was a great comfort to me to know he was alive. Unlike my father, who had no idea what the hell had happened to him. I knew better. I knew that he was running in wolf form, and had been now for weeks. He was running from me...

I stood up, pulling myself from my thoughts, as Charlie turned to face me. "I'm sorry he won't be here for your big day." He said, leaning in and kissing my forehead.

I sighed and felt the tears sting my eyes again, before quickly getting control of myself, hugging Charlie goodnight, as I headed back upstairs to my room. Before I reached the top. I heard Charlie come up from behind me.

"Bella..."

I froze where I was, not wanting to look him in the face. I was barely hanging on by a thread here. My emotions trailing a thin line. I missed Jacob way more than I was ever willing to admit and way more than I should. I missed his laughter. I missed his beautiful white dimpled smile. I missed his warmth, and his tight embrace. He took a piece of me with him when he left.

"You haven't heard from him have you?" Charlie asked me. I willed myself to take a steadying breath, slowly turning back around to face him.

"No dad... I wish I had..."I replied, seeing Charlie nod thoughtfully to me before going back downstairs.

I whipped open my bedroom door, and quickly closed it shut behind me, feeling myself start to crumble. My tears welling up and spilling over now as I leaned my back against the door, the profound sadness overwhelming me. This wasn't the way I wanted to leave things with Jacob.

I glanced over to my computer desk, where my favorite picture of Jake and I was framed. It was one Charlie had taken of the two of us standing in Billy's kitchen. Jacob had pulled me into one of his famous bear hugs, and that's when charlie said ... "Smile you two."

I, of course, tried to protest, but Jacob chuckled... "Oh C'Mon Bells. Please?"

I could deny him nothing, so I smiled with him at the camera, and Charlie took the snapshot. I must admit, it had come to be one of my very favorite pictures. I traced the edge of the frame with my thumb, staring at the boy who was my best friend. The one who knew me better than I knew myself some days.

A sudden cool draft drifted from behind me, as I closed my eyes, knowing it was Edward.

"Still no word?" He asked. I slowly turned around and shook my head, placing the framed picture back in it's place on my desk.

"You can't be here... remember it's breaking tradition." I said, pointedly to him. He smiled and kissed me on the lips. His cool honeysuckle breath intoxicating me, leaving my head spinning from the sensation.

"Okay." He obliged. "I wanted to check on you. But I'll go. We can't be breaking tradition now can we..."

I smiled at him, and watched as he went out my window, quickly stealing another kiss from him before he ran off into the night. Whispering... "I'll see you at the alter." Before leaving me.

I felt a wave of butterflies assault my stomach at his words. At the Alter...

I knew Alice would surely kill me when she saw me in a few hours for not getting my recommended beauty sleep. Truth was I couldn't sleep, and I was beginning to wonder if it was common pre wedding jitters or something else... like Jacob.

My cell phone was sitting on my computer desk right next to the framed photo. I slowly picked it up and dialed Jakes cell... A number I knew by heart. It went straight to his voicemail, just like it had the thirty other times I had called him. The voice I so longed to hear came through on the other end... "Hey you've reached Jake, leave me a message and I'll call you back..."

Tears welled up as I hit the red end button on my cell. I wanted to see him so damn bad, that my heart actually ached from his prolonged absence.

I decided to take a few minutes and write him a small letter. I fiddled with my pen for a bit before jotting down what I most wanted him to hear, even after I was changed and we became enemies. Just the thought of it hurt now.

I crawled back into bed, dismissing my thoughts for now, somehow managing to drift off to sleep for a few short hours.

I felt like I had barely closed my eyes before hearing my dreaded alarm clock screaming at me. Telling me it was time to get up.

I dashed into the bathroom to take a shower, and quickly dressing. It was almost eight, and I promised Alice I would be there at eight sharp. I didn't want to be late. I ran down the stairs with my light brown leather Jacket that alice had bought me. I rarely allowed her to get me things I kept but I actually liked this. It looked nice on me, and it was relatively comfortable.

Charlie chuckled when he saw me running for the door. I smiled warmly at him, running into his arms.

"Don't be late for your own wedding, honey." He teased, giving me a small peck on the cheek. "Remember, I'm picking your mom and Phil up at the airport at ten. We'll be there right at noon. We won't be late."

I thanked him and rushed out the front door, jumping into my truck, turning the key and hearing it sputter to life. It needed a tune up in the worst way. If only I had my favorite mechanic and best friend here...

I stopped the thought cold. Silently pushing it out of my head... focus Bella.

I sped all the way to Edwards house, and ran to the front door. Alice was there waiting for me with her arms crossed over her chest. She gasped when she saw me.

"Bella! What did I say about sleep!" She scolded, as I blushed and quickly entered the house. "Come on. We have work to do." She said, excitedly with a wide smile on her perfect face, as she rushed me to the upstairs bathroom and set me in front of the mirror.

I gasped aloud, seeing the hundreds of beauty products laid out in an organized manor along the counter.

"Alice..." I said, laughing at her.

"Listen Bella. Today you're all mine!" She declared.

I couldn't throw a protest. The sheer joy in her voice made me shut my mouth and let her have her will with me. After two long hours of primping and pampering, there was a knock at the door. Rosalie peeked her head in, looking like a blonde goddess all dressed for the wedding.

"I can help you with her hair if you'd like?" She offered, to my astonishment.

I couldn't help the shocked expression on my face as Rosalie smiled and began brushing my hair, sweeping it into a low bun at the base of my neck.

When all was finished, I looked at my reflection in awe. Alice really did work wonders. There was certainly nothing plain or ordinary about me today.

"Here..." She said, handing me the garment bag with my dress in it. "We'll help you slip into it, and then you'll be ready. I have to hurry and change myself before it begins." She glanced hurriedly down at her small pearl watch. "Which is in only ten minutes!"

They swiftly helped me into the dress, and Rosalie was fast with her hands working up the many small buttons in the back for me. "You look radiant Bella." She beamed, as she finished them. Her enthusiasm striking me as a bit odd, given our not so friendly history.

Alice placed my veil into my hair, tucking the clips securely into the bun Rosalie had created. She placed a bit more lipstick on me, before running out the door to get dressed herself. I looked again to my reflection and couldn't help but feel nervous. What if I fell? Knowing me that is exactly what would happen, and I'd probably bring the whole wedding party down with me!

Rosalie escorted me out into the back yard where my mother was waiting. She saw me and the tears instantly ran down her face. She hugged me tightly.

"Oh Bella! You look marvelous, sweetheart!" She gushed. I eagerly returned her embrace. Silently wishing we had more time together. I kissed her cheek and watched her take her seat amongst the other guest.

My nerves came crashing, as I looked out over everyone. Charlie appeared next to me then. He looked so handsome. New tears formed in my eyes and Alice suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

"No... No." She whispered..."Don't cry off my hard work!"

I took a steadying deep breath, hearing the music start and feeling Charlie kiss my cheek.

"You look so beautiful, honey." He said, taking my arm and looping it firmly through his.

My breathing became fast and shaky. This was it. This was really happening. I was really getting married. I closed my eyes, trying to gather myself one last time.

The face that came instantly to my mind shocked me, causing me to let out an audible gasp

...Jake...

My eyes flew open to see everyone there waiting for me. I was suddenly struck by such doubt, that my stomach turned. Jacobs words came rushing back into my mind.

..."You wouldn't have to change for me Bella. I'm in love with you and I'm asking you to choose me instead of him."

My legs felt like stone. Like They were fixed where I was permanently.

What the hell is wrong with me?

I looked around to all my friends, and family waiting for me and willed my led legs to move a small step, as more words from Jake came to me.

..."I'm exactly right for you Bella... It would be as easy as breathing with me..."

A shudder hit me and my mind raced frantically... Why was I feeling this way?

Charlie glanced down at me, taking notice now of my expression. "Bella... you okay?"

I nodded quickly to him, glancing up to see Edward standing there ahead of me. He was perfection. His eyes sparkled and his smile was wide. My heart was racing, as we began walking down the aisle. Everything was so beautiful. I was truly blessed.

"Just don't let me fall dad." I said quietly to Charlie.

He smiled warmly back to me. "Never Bella... Never."

One step turned into two... than three... and more.

Before I knew it, I was standing face to face with Edward, and handing my bouqet to Alice. I couldn't take my eyes away from him, seeing him smile proudly at me. I could barely focus enough to say "I do." However when the time came, I somehow managed to remember the words.

Edward was mesmerizingly beautiful... Breathtaking even.

"You may now kiss the bride." I heard the Minister say, as Edward pulled me to him and kissed me passionately, making me lose all sense of time and place.

Applause errupted from all around us. I could hear cheering and Emmet's booming "Hell yeah!" Voice along with several cat calls in the mix. I blushed furiously, as we made our way hand in hand, down the aisle. Everyone smiling at us.

I saw Billy clapping right along with Seth and Sue clearwater. He reached out and took my hand in his when I passed him.

"Congratulations." He whispered to me. My eyes met his, seeing how much they reminded me of Jakes. A lump grew in my throat, as I threw my arms around him.

"Thank you Billy." I said softly.

Music surounded us as everyone began to celebrate with us at the reception. I was introduced to so many people that I could hardly keep all their names straight. I finally got to meet the Denali Family. Each of the sisters tall and blonde and strikingly beautiful. So beautiful in fact that they gave Rosalie a run for her money.

By the time I had shaken everyone's hand and been congratulated for the hundredth time, it was time for our first dance. Edward guided me to the dance floor. I blushed seeing all the eyes were on us, as our melody began, one Edward had composed himself for us. We swayed slowly to the music.

Everyone in the background seemed to slowly fade away from me, my sole focus on just Edward. Looking at his beautiful face and his golden eyes. He took my breath away.

"I love you Mrs. Cullen..." He whispered in my ear, sending a trail of goosebumps down my neck.

"I love you more." I replied to him, holding him closer to me.

The music continued on and I felt so happy in this moment. Edward twirled me around and my eyes fell on Billy, seeing him smile warmly at me. A hearty chuckle coming from him as he talked amicably with Seth. His laughter was so much like Jacobs.

I found myself trying to will away the threat of new tears. I couldn't help the shudder that ran through me at the loss of my best friend. He was the one piece missing that would have made this perfect.

Another song began, signaling yet another round of applause and whistling to break from the crowd as our dance finished. I smiled at my new family. Esme was all grins. She positively lit up like a Christmas tree now.

Edward suddenly stopped swaying to the music, as I glanced up at him, seeing he had a look of solid concentration on his face.

"Edward?" I asked him, a bit of worry coming over me. He gave me a reassuring smile before taking my hand in his and leading me off the dance floor, and away from everyone.

We were walking towards the tree line in his back yard. "What are you doing?"

He nodded to the tree's, his eyes meeting mine. "Think of it as a last minute wedding gift..."

"What kind of present would be way out here!" I asked him, thoroughly perplexed... "In the woods?"

He didn't reply. He just simply kept walking.

We stopped a short distance away and he waited, looking out into the night. I followed his gaze but didn't see anything. I glanced up at him, growing a bit impatient..."Edward?" He kept his eyes fixed on the tree line.

Suddenly a warm, familiar husky voice came to me causing my breath to hitch.

"So the best man didn't have time to get a tux..."

I gasped and looked ahead to the trees to see Jacob emerge there. He was wearing a button up white dress shirt and dark denim jeans. I couldn't formulate words as his dark eyes met mine. I felt my heart begin to race and looked back to Edward who gave me a knowing smile upon releasing my hand. I couldn't help myself. I ran to Jacob, wedding dress and all.

"Jacob!" I beamed. A wide welcoming smile lit up his face, as he held out his warm arms for me. I flew into them and he caught me effortlessly, holding me tight to him.

"Hey Bells." He replied with a hearty chuckle. The one I had missed so damn much lately.

I didn't want to let go. I felt like I was home again for the first time in weeks. Like a huge piece of me that had been ripped away was now back where it belonged. Jacob went to release me but I kept my grip. He sensed my hesitation and tightened his arms around me in response. I closed my eyes, basking in his warmth, in his scent. How long had I missed this embrace from him? His all too tight grip was now suddenly not tight enough for me.

I heard Edward clear his throat behind us and I reluctantly let go, feeling guilty for my longing to be near Jacob.

"I think I owe Rosalie a dance." He said, smiling to me and beginning his walk back to the reception.

I loved him even more for giving me this time with Jacob.

"Thank you for doing this. It's kind of you." I heard Edward say over his shoulder.

"Kind is my middle name." Jake replied to him, soon returning his eyes to me. He looked me up and down. "You look beautiful, Bells."

"Everything's... perfect now..." I admitted to him, silently glancing over his body, looking for any possible injuries he may have acquired along his journey. I saw none and felt relief that he seemed to be in tact, still in one piece. The relief soon left me as my eyes met his. He just starred at me, both of us not saying anything for a brief moment. I knew Jacob like the back of my hand. I knew what made him who he was, what made him tick, how he worked, and the look in his eyes now screamed "I hate this." He tried to offer me half a smile in spite of it, but I knew better. The lump in my throat returned, as I thought of how he would soon hate me. How we would never be Jake and Bells again. The simplicity of us would be stripped away entirely, something I dreaded more than words could say.

"Dance with me?" Jacob softly asked me. I nodded, as he pulled me slowly into his arms, placing one hand on my lower back.

We swayed to the distant music playing in the background. My heart racing and my eyes blurred with unshed tears, as I nestled my face into his shoulder. His woodsy pine scent surrounding me and making me wish that I could hold onto this moment forever. I selfishly wanted to keep him, selfishly wanted him in my life forever. I knew how very wrong this was. What bride lights up when running into the arms of another man at her own wedding reception no less? Well... I did...

"Are you okay?" I whispered to him. He nodded and pressed me tighter to him.

"Yea... for the most part. I mean, it's kind of odd to get used to the whole human thing again. You know, walking on two legs and not four anymore. I just came from home. Sorry I'm late Bells."

I could no longer stop the tears that ran slowly down my face. Jacob stopped swaying and pulled back, looking at me.

"I missed you." I whispered to him. He wiped my tears away, and gave me an attempt at half a smile.

"You're not supposed to be crying, Bells..."

I shook my head, pressing myself back into him. "Everyone cries at wedding's... It's... like an unspoken rule."

We swayed for two more songs. I wanted to hang on to him as long as I could. Dreading when we would part again... for good. Another shudder ran through me and Jacob tensed in response.

"Are you okay being here I mean?" I asked.

He nodded, nuzzling his warm face into my neck. The simple gesture sending a wave of heat through me.

"Why... afraid I'm gonna crash your party?" He asked me in a low tone.

I heard a few sticks break off in the woods behind us. Jake and I stopped, as he pulled back, glancing in the direction of the sound. He looked down at the ground then back to me.

"You're not the only one..." He sighed. I knew Sam and the others were out there. Watching and waiting.

"I'm sorry..." Jake whispered, releasing me a bit. I moved closer to him in response seeing his eyes locked on mine. "I'm just trying to appreciate your last night as a human..." His voice was tense and shaky as he said it. Something I rarely heard in his tone.

"Well it's not my last night..." I admitted to him.

I saw a ray of hope come to his brown eyes, and it nearly killed me to know I was just going to put it out as quickly as I had placed it there.

"I thought..." He started.

"I didn't really want to spend my honeymoon in that kind of pain..."

Jacob slowly pulled me back to him as we began to sway to the distant music again. He was silent for a bit before speaking again. "What's the difference... I mean.. It's not like you're going to enjoy a real honeymoon anyway..."

I inwardly cringed, as I pulled back and glanced up at him. This was clearly not something I wanted to discuss with him. Not in a million years.

"Well... it will be as real as anyone else's." I reluctantly admitted.

Jacob's eyes grew wide, panicked even. He released me and looked immediately sick, his eyes wandering over me once from head to toe.

"What..." He breathed..."While you're still human... That's a sick joke. Tell me you're joking, Bella. Tell me you're not that stupid."

His words hit me like venom. Harsh and cold. I lashed out at him in response.

"It's none of your business..."

He grabbed me by the arms, trying to make me see his reason. "No... No... You can't. Bella, listen to me."

"Let me go, Jacob!" I yelled.

Edward appeared behind us in a flash. "Jacob let her go." He stated sternly. His golden eyes fierce.

I looked into Jake's eyes and saw the plea in them, as he released me and unleashed his fury on Edward.

"What are you crazy... huh? YOU'LL KILL HER..." He yelled angrily at him.

Sam, Paul and Seth all appeared out of the woods. They grabbed ahold of Jake as he lunged for Edward. He fought hard against them. My heart aching at the sight of it.

"Get off me!" He spat to Sam, pushing him away.

"Let it go Jacob." Sam said, his tone laced with power and divine Alpha authority.

"Stay out of this Sam... He'll kill her!" Jacob screamed back in rage.

Sam shook his head. "It's not our concern anymore..." He declared, glancing over to me and quickly back to Jake.

Jacob whirled around and went to leave. He pushed into Sam roughly as he passed. My heart tore open and I instinctively took a few steps toward him, as Edward grabbed my arm in protest. "Bella... No... Don't" He warned.

I stared after Jacob, seeing him disappear further into the woods. My body shaking, tears looming, as I harshly pulled away from Edwards grasp.

"I'll be right back." I said, not looking to him approval before turning and running after Jake into the forest. I took my heels off and threw them. I wasn't going to let him leave things like this. I couldn't.

Sam called after me as I passed them. "Bella... Don't!"

I didn't care. Call me crazy. I knew Jake was pissed and hurting. I knew that made him dangerous right now, but he was too important to me and I wouldn't leave things this way. I saw him stop at a large tree and take off his shirt. He was going to phase. My heart leapt into my throat, as I ran faster and yelled out for him.

"Jacob. Wait... Stop...please." The emotion was evident in my voice. I saw him stop, freezing where he was before he slowly turned around.

I ran into his arms. Not caring what danger I was in, as I lunged myself at him. He caught me and wrapped his strong arms around me. His body shook, but this wasn't the tremors I was used to. This was something else. This was fear... his fear for me. He didn't let me go and I didn't want him to.

"Please... don't hate me... please..." Tears streamed down my face, as I pleaded with him. His arms tightened around me. Enveloping me in his warmth.

"I could never hate you, Bells..." He whispered. His voice strained, as he set me back on my feet. I shook my head, feeling so lost in this moment. Why was he so damn hard for me to let go of? It's not supposed to hurt this much...

I looked up at him and was horrified to see tears rimming his own brown eyes back at me.

"You'd think I'd be used to telling you goodbye by now..."

I wrapped my arms back around his waist..."Please Don't say that." I whispered brokenly to him. He kissed my hair and pleaded with me.

"Bella... please don't do this. Wait until you're changed. He could hurt you... Really hurt you."

I felt the shaking return to him, revealing to me how hard this really was for him, and what a horrible person I felt like for doing this to him.

"I'll always love you Jake." I said reluctantly releasing him and wiping my tears. He shook his head, keeping my hand in his.

"And I'll always be waiting in the wings..." He replied to me in a whisper, as I pulled my hand away and turned around, walking back out of the woods to Edward.

Sam stood there, his face unreadable, as he watched me go. Every step I took felt like I was ripping a new piece of my heart away and leaving it behind. Tearing it away slowly. Why did this hurt so damn much?

I reached the border of the tree line and turned to see Jake and the others were already gone, as Edward held my shoes out to me and helped me back into them. He wiped away my tears and gave me a weak smile.

"I'm sorry..." I whispered to him.

"Don't be... It's okay. I know what he means to you. We should get back before people start wondering where we are." He said, taking my hand in his and leading the way back to our reception.

Alice quickly fixed my makeup in the bathroom before I joined the others back on the dance floor. She never asked me about my encounter with Jacob, she simply offered me a hug and a smile.

The reception lasted through most of the night. It was nearly midnight when things wrapped up. We said our many heart felt good bye's after I changed into a second formal dress Alice had chosen for me to wear. All our bags were packed and ready in the car. Emmet had plastered cans and the words... "Just Married." On the car. I laughed as he picked me up in a large hug.

"Have fun." He said to me with a wink. I blushed furiously and turned my attention to Charlie and Renee. They both hugged me tight and wished me a good time. I held on to Charlie telling him how much I loved him again before getting into the car with Edward. I felt sick to my stomach as the reaslization came crashing over me that this could be the last time I would see him.

My emotions were starting to get the best of me so I hurriedly closed the car door, waving to all of them as we drove off.

Edward took my hand in his and kissed it once we hit the highway. I looked out my window at the tree's blurring past us. My heart nearly shattered when I heard a low agonizing howl rip through the night air around us. Piercing it's way through the forest and into the car. I shuddered and closed my eyes, my stomach twisting painfully , as I thought of the agony he was in out there... Jacob.

My eyes were heavy and I soon drifted off as we drove. Edward still not revealing where we were headed. I remember walking with him through the airport, barely awake and relying heavily on him to maintain my balance as we entered our plane and placed our luggage above us.

When the plane landed I startled awake from the noise. Edward took my hand and lovingly kissed my forehead. I was so beat I could hardly focus.

We stopped a few places before renting a boat. I smiled at Edward and asked him for the tenth time where we were going but he stayed true to form and didn't tell me anything. The boat ride was qucik and I was blown away when he pointed to a small island we were approaching.

"That's where were going. It's a wedding gift from Esme and Carlisle." I gasped as we stopped the boat on the shore, and he helped me out. He picked me up and carried me along with our bags to a huge house that looked like it was meant for royalty! It was beautiful, and elaborately decorated to say the least. Who gives people an island for a wedding present!

Edward set me down once inside and closed the door behind us. Everything was very open. Glass doors everywhere. You could see the ocean out of every window. It was breath taking.

He set our bags down and walked over to me. His lips found mine and I surrendered to the kiss. There was a new urgency to his lips I hadn't sensed before. My heart began to race, and my body tremble, as his arms wound around me holding me firmly to him. A sudden nervous feeling overwhelmed me, causing me to pull back from him.

"I could stand a few human moments before..." I admitted.

Edward smiled and released me. "Okay... I'll be out in the water. Don't take too long Mrs. Cullen."

I couldn't help but smile brightly at him, as he walked out the door and onto the beach. The moonlight making him sparkle.

I ran to the bathroom and tried to collect myself, as I opened the bag that alice had packed me and found my toothbrush and hair brush. I brushed my teeth twice and my hair three times before washing up. I was a shaking mess by the end of it. What the hell was wrong with me. Get a damn grip would ya.

Try as I may I couldn't seem to shake the panicky feeling that rushed over me. I sat down in a towel on the edge of the tub and placed my head in my hands. This was foolish. Why was I feeling like this?

I knew it was perfectly normal to have some nerves before crossing such a big marker as losing one's virginity, but this felt more like fear to me.

I ran a nervous hand through my hair and tried to get it together. I was just nervous. I convinced myself that had to be it and nothing else.

I secured my towel and walked determined out of the bathroom, and straight through the open doors that lead to the beach. Edwards clothes were laying in a heap at my feet on the sand. I let my towel fall to the ground and walked out to him in the water. He turned to me. His eyes seeming to be in awe. as I approached him and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"You're so beautiful." He whispered to me and held me close to him.

I could feel every inch of him in the warm water. My body was craving him, as he kissed me and ran his hands over my back. We kissed until I became chilly.

Edward picked me up, and carried me into the house, laying me down in the master bedroom on the huge bed. He pressed his body to mine and I moaned at the feel of him. His kisses became more urgent as did mine. His lips brushing along my neck. He gripped my hips hard... almost painfully. I winced but continued on with him. Not wanting to ruin the moment. I felt him touch my breast, and then kiss them. His cold tongue swirling around my nipple. I moaned again at the feel of him. His cold lips pulled back slightly as a dark expression suddenly crossed his face now. I watched in shock, as his eyes went from gold to black with lust. He pressed himself to me roughly causing me to wince again. Suddenly Jacobs words came rushing back to me.

"He could hurt you, Bells..."

I froze with fear beneath him as I looked at him. Seeing the change in him. This was not my Edward.

I placed my hands on either side of his face and made him look into my eyes.

"Edward... Stop...please stop..." I pleaded with him. But there was nothing I could say to bring him back now. Edward had warned me about this. But he had promised me we would try. My blood ran cold, as I realized I had brought out the monster in him he worked so hard to keep at bay.

I pushed on him, trying to get him to stop. But it was useless. It was like trying to move concrete. I cried out. "Edward Stop!"

It was as if he didn't hear me. Like all his senses were blocked at the moment. Pure fear washed over me as I felt his hands tighten around my hips. I cried out again and felt the tears roll down my face.

I didn't know what to do. I was powerless against him. His body on top of mine. I heard a low hiss escape his lips as I continued to try to get him off me, begging and pleading with him to stop. Every caress was painful, every kiss too hard. I was pinned beneath him and at his mercy.

Jacobs words were on repeat in my head as my screaming continued.

I cried out in agony as he pushed himself deep within me. The pain was excruciating. He was rough, like a caged animal. His thrusts hard and punishing. Pain shot through my body as he thrusted in and out of me. I screamed over and over. Nothing made him stop.

His mouth brushed my neck and a new fear consumed me whole. "No!" I screamed to him...

He was going to change me... No... He would kill me. I was going to die.

Sudden thoughts of Jacob came to me then. I had a vision of him falling on his knees in his garage, tears running down his face with his hand on his chest when he would hear the news of me being changed... or worse.

A new realization struck me to my very core... I wasnt ready... I was not ready to never see Charlie or Renee again. I wasn't ready to be what he was... To say goodbye to my human life and all that went with it... After months of begging him to just change me... When push came to shove, I wasn't ready... Not at all.

I screamed again and felt Edwards thrusts grow more violent. I was in so much pain that darkness clouded my mind, and I momentarily welcomed it. Anything to escape this pain. I closed my eye,s as more tears streamed steady down my face. A memory flooded my mind...

Jacobs warm words hitting me now...

"I'm gonna fight for you until your heart stops beating." I clung to this memory and shied away from the darkness now.

There was nothing more I could do than cry, and hope he wouldn't kill me in the end. Several agonizing minutes passed before he finally stopped.

I laid there sobbing. My whole body shaking from the force of them. I felt his hands release me suddenly and looked up at him to see him shake his head, as if he was disoriented. The black leaving his eyes and the warm familiar gold returning to them.

He looked down at me. Panic setting in to his features. "Bella!" He gasped as he went to touch me. I moved away from him as he got up. Horror on his face. Pain shooting through me with every move I made.

"No!" I cried out to him. "Please don't... please don't..." I begged him, as I slowly pulled myself off the bed and ran into the bathroom with the sheet around me.

I barricaded myself in there. Locking the door behind me as I fell to the floor, sobs shaking my whole body from head to toe. I ached everywhere, not a muslce in my body didn't throb with pain. I felt something warm trickle down my leg and looked between my thighs to see blood running down my inner left thigh. I shook as I touched it, seeing the red on my fingertips. I feared the worst and knew by how forceful he had just been with me that he had probably caused damage.

I winced as I moved slowly. Pain shot through my lower abdomen as I staggered to my feet and gasped, looking at my horrible reflection. Handprint bruises were all along my body. Predominantly on my hips. My eyes were red from crying, and my hands were shaking. I sat down on the floor again, wrapping myself in the sheet, feeling as cold as I had ever felt before.

I wanted to be warm... warmth... Jacob...

I burst into tears, laying my head down and smothering my cries with the sheet, feeling the cool wooden floor beneath me.

Edwards voice suddenly came from outside the door. "Bella... I... I'm so sorry... I..." He began.

"No... Go away..." I begged of him. Barely able to speak though the enslaught of tears.

"Tell me what to do... what can I do?"

I cried harder, because I knew there was nothing he could do.

I felt my stomach turn violently and I dashed for the toilette, emptying all of its contents. I shook from head to toe as I brushed my teeth.

I didn't reply to him, and for the first time since I'd known Edward, I was deathly afraid of him. I cried until there were no more tears to be shed, and picked myself up slowly off the bathroom floor. I dragged myself to the tub and drew a warm bath.

I felt so dirty... that hadn't been making love... that was... that was... more like rape...

I tried to stop shaking long enough to let go off the towel, and slide into the bath once it was full. I scrubbed and scrubbed my skin and washed my hair. Wincing every time I touched any part of me. I felt like I had been hit with a freight train.

Once I felt clean enough, I got out and drained the tub. My bag was thankfully still placed on the bathroom floor. I wasn't going out there with him right now for anything. I frantically searched and found some new clothes to put on.

I quickly dressed in black form fitting jeans and a green button up shirt, topped with a short back cardigan sweater that Alice had packed me. I was so cold right now. Nothing I did seemed to make me warm again.

Dressing took real effort. Every move hurt. I blow dried my hair and continued to cry, as I did so. It was supposed to be so perfect. It was supposed to be right and gentle... nothing like what that had been. Not rough, and violent. He had never been that way with me before.

I finished drying my hair and hurriedly gathered my things. Placing them all back in my bag and zipping it closed. My hands were shaking so much I could hardly grasp the bag as I opened the door slowly.

My heart was in my throat. I don't know how long I had been in the bathroom. If I had to guess a few hours at least.

There was light coming from the horizon now, as I watched the sunrise at the front door.

I glanced all around for Edward, and found him standing at the far end of the beach. I shook just looking at him. He saw me and started walking toward me. I instinctively backed up, unable to stop my fear. I knew that what had happened wasn't who he was at all. But the damaging effects were still there and right now I needed to go home.

He stopped once he reached the door way. His eyes fixed on the ground. "Tell me what to do." He pleaded with me. I was numb and could barely speak to him.

"Please...Please take me home... Now..." I gasped, as more tears ran down my face.

He didn't ask me any questions. He simply nodded and gathered our things quickly before loading them back into the boat.

We were back to the airport in not time. Neither of us saying a word to the other. I couldn't process anything right now. I was sick to my stomach as memories of what happened played over and over in my head like a broken record. How rough it had been...

When we reached the airport departure gate, Edward handed me my two small leather bags and slowly took his keys out of his pocket. "Here... Take the car. The GPS is already programmed to take you home to Forks. Go... Bella... go..." He insisted. "I have called ahead for someone to show you where the car is. They are expecting you and will assist you when you arrive there." He took off his ring and handed it to me. I gasped, as I took it in my shaking hand. "I have to... I need... I don't know... goodbye Bella..." With that, he twirled on his heal and left without another word.

I walked the terminal feeling dazed and in utter shock. How the hell could I have been so careless? So naïve?

I boarded the plane and stared blankly out the window. The flight attendant asked me twice if I needed anything. I simply shook my head in reply and looked back out the window. I couldn't help but relive the horrifying moment with Edward over and over in my head. The look on his face, and the pain. I closed my eyes and somehow managed to fall asleep for the remainder.

I awoke to the sound of the plane landing, and it startled me a bit, as I jumped and took in my surroundings. Being on edge like this was exhausting.

I gathered my bags once we were allowed to move from our seat,s and stood in the long line of passengers getting off the plane. I was met by a young red headed airport personnel woman. She smiled at me and asked me if I was Bella Swan. I told her I was, and returned her warm smile, as she led the way to Edwards car. I thanked her and handed her a small tip before throwing my things into the trunk and climbing into the drivers seat. His scent surrounded me and made my stomach turn violently, as I started the car. It normally would have been a comfort... Not anymore.

I swallowed hard and started the drive home, feeling so shattered. So disconnected. Like everything I had known had suddenly been ripped from me in the blink of an eye.

I wanted to get back home as quickly as I could, so I drove faster than I should. Breaking the speed limit by fifteen over the whole way just hoping that no cop would see me.

I finally made it into Forks and breathed a sigh of relief, as I drove into the familiar small town. My stomach was in knots, as I pulled into Charlie's driveway.

It was approaching night now. The front porch light was on and I could see clearly into the house through the living room window. Charlie had not drawn the shades yet. My heart lodged itself into my throat, as I saw Billy laughing along with Charlie. Each of them having a beer in hand.

I turned off the car and slowly got out, grabbing my bags from the trunk and starting for the front door.

Charlie whipped open the front door upon hearing my car door close. His eyes were wide with shock, as he ran down over the front steps.

"Bella!" He said to me.

I slowly lifted my head, as he approached me. Luckily I had worn the proper outfit. I knew with my ivory skin that I would be bruised already. I didn't want to take the risk of anyone seeing the bruises. Especially Charlie, so I dressed accordingly.

He grabbed me and pulled me into a tight hug before I could even say anything.

"Honey, what are you doing home already?" He asked me in a nervous tone. He went to release me but I dropped my bags, and held onto him for dear life. Here, in the arms of my father, I was safe, and I relished in that. He tightened his grip on me..."Honey...?"

I couldn't speak, as I buried my face in his chest and fought back the tears. His tight grip on me was comforting but painful.

How could I tell him? What would I say?

I released him and kept a calm, straight face. I didn't want him to see me wince from the bruised feeling my whole body still had from Edward.

Charlie took my bags and threw an arm around me. He kissed my hair and walked us into the house. Once inside, he set my bags down and helped me out of my jacket, rubbing my arms when he saw me shiver. Little did he know, it was not from the cold rain. I had not stopped shaking since my flight.

Billy wheeled over to me, his eyes etched with worry, as he looked at me. I gave him the best smile I could manage. He took my hand and gave it a squeeze. I knew I didn't fool him one bit. I could see the wheels turning upon seeing me.

Charlie led me over to the couch, Billy wheeling himself up next to it. They both looked at me expectingly. Awaiting my answer as to why I was home early from my honeymoon. Yea... Some honeymoon that had been.

"Where's Edward, honey?" Charlie asked me, taking my hand in his. I couldn't answer him. I was exhausted from my flight and was walking a thin line of emotions. I Settled on offering him all I could right now. Hoping beyond all hope, that would be enough for him until the morning. I looked up at him, meeting his eyes.

"It's over. For good and right now I need that to be enough of an answer for you. I promise to talk more about it all with you in the morning. I'm really beat..."

Charlie didn't look convinced and started to say something, but Billy placed a hand on my shoulder.

"I'm sure when you're ready you'll have a long sit down with your old man." He said stepping in to save me.

I gave him a small smile of gratitude, as he removed his hand and gave Charlie a... "Leave it be for now," Kind of look.

Charlie nodded to me and pulled me in for another tight hug. I winced over his shoulder, and locked eyes with Billy. His eyes widened and I gave him a silent pleading look.

For the first time I saw true anger cross Billy Blacks feature's. It went as quick as it came once he saw the tears start to form in my eyes. He straightened himself in his chair and nodded to me in reassurance.

I felt Charlie pull back, placing a soft kiss on my forehead. "Okay honey. Your room is always yours. You know that. Don't worry about your bags. I'll take care of them in the morning." He said, as I rose to my feet and headed for the stairs. I glanced at Billy again and his expression was unreadable. He looked at me with sincere worry and I instantly thought of Jake. His eyes mirroring his fathers.

Another shudder ran through me as I turned back and threw my arms around Billy. It caught him by surprise at first, but he quickly melted into the hug and returned the embrace. "Thank you..." I whispered to him. I was thankful for his understanding now more than ever.

I soon released him and gave Charlie a peck on the cheek before heading up the stairs and into my room.

I closed the door behind me and sat down on the edge of my bed, hearing the wind blow furiously outside. The rain beating harshly up against my window.

There was no sound in the house. Just the low mumble of Billy and Charlie's voices coming from downstairs. I knew that they were probably drawing the wrong conclusions. Well at least dad was. I had a feeling however, that Billy had a pretty damn good idea about what happened.

I sighed heavily and glanced over at the picture on my computer desk. Jacobs warm smile bringing me some sense of comfort even now. I reached over and took the picture in my hands, before sitting back down on the bed. I pressed the picture to my chest and felt the tears run freely down my face. He had been right about everything...

I thought back to the reception, remembering Jake begging me not to go with him... "Bells... Please... Listen to me..." His raged scream, echoing in my head at Edward. "What are you crazy...huh... You'll kill her!"

My silent tears grew into body shaking sobs, as I relived the pain, clutching the picture to me desperately. As if I were trying to hang on to Jake himself. What I wouldn't give for him to be here right now.

If I knew Jake, he would be long gone by now. Running as fast as he could through the dense forest. Heading back to Canada, or wherever he had been before he showed up at the reception. I cried until I couldn't cry anymore. I tried to keep my hand over my mouth to silence my sobs so I wouldn't alert Charlie. He would feel horrible and not know what to do. I didn't want to to put him through anymore than I already had in the past.

I crawled into bed with my clothes on, not caring that I would be sleeping in them. I kept the picture clutched to me tightly and pulled the familiar purple comforter over me. I winced a bit, as I tried to get comfortable in bed.

Sleep soon found me, but it wasn't the kind of sleep I needed. It was restless and every time I closed my eyes, I would have another nightmare of Edward, and relive the experience all over again. I woke up screaming at the last one, bolting upright in bed. Charlie burst through my door. His eyes wide with fear. I knew he was remembering me being this way when Edward had left before. This was altogether different.

I shook my head, and tried to calm my breathing. The picture had clattered to the floor from my thrashing. Charlie knelt down and picked it up, looking down at it for a long moment, before handing it to me when he sat down on the bed. I wiped away my tears trying to compose myself for Charlie's sake. I knew how painful it was for him to see me like this once again.

"I'm okay..." I whispered to him.

He stared into my eyes and touched my cheek. "Yea... I'm not so sure about that, honey..." Charlie sighed, glancing at the picture in my hands, before kissing me on the forehead and exiting my room. He stopped at the door. "Let me know if you need anything, please Bella..."

There was a pleading tone in his voice and I nodded to him. "I will. I promise."

I couldn't deny him that. This had to be driving him crazy, and it wasn't that I didn't want to talk to him. I just didn't think I could right now. I would have to though or it would drive him crazy.

I glanced at my clock, seeing the red lettering. It was only four in the morning and I knew I might as well get up. I darted into the bathroom and quietly took a shower, getting myself ready for the day. I wouldn't look at myself in the mirror until I was already fully dressed. I tried not to concentrate too much on the large bruises that lined my inner thighs. Even washing my hair made me wince from the movement. My whole body felt like one big bruise right now.

An hour later I exited from the bathroom all ready for the day. I once again chose to wear a turtleneck sweater. A dark blue one that Renee had bought for me last Christmas. It covered the bruises very well.

I put on some light makeup. Trying to make myself look less exhausted. I paired the sweater with dark denim jeans and quietly went back to my room to make my bed, tossing my clothes in the hamper before wandering down stairs to get some coffee. Charlie had the coffee pot set for 5:15 a.m. each day so it was ready when he got up for work. The coffee auroma filled the kitchen, as I sat down and turned on my cell phone for the first time since the wedding.

I had a new voicemail and I feared it was Edward for a moment before I glanced down and realized it was Jake.

I saw he had left it for me yesterday afternoon. I would have been on the plane home. I listened to his warm voice trickle through the phone...

"Hey Bells... Um... listen I just wanted to call and say I'm sorry... ( long pause )... I feel awful for what I did. I know you probably won't get this for a while, but anyway... I just.. ( sigh )... wanted you to know I'm really sorry, and... you looked beautiful. I guess I'll talk to you... sometime... Bye Bells..."

My eyes grew misty, as I played his message three more times. Just listening to his warm voice over and over again.

I quickly wiped my tears and placed the phone down on the table when I heard Charlie walk down over the stairs. I felt guilty for waking him up so early on his day off. He poured a cup of coffee for each of us and sat down at the table with me.

"Decide to stay up?" He asked me, sliding my coffee over.

"Yea. I knew I wouldn't get back to sleep so..." I trailed off, taking a sip of the hot coffee.

Charlie looked at me, and I knew he was waiting for me to say something. After a few long moments, he simply opened up the paper and began to read through the sports section. We sat there together in the silence, just drinking our coffee together. Even though I had a lot on my mind and we didn't speak, it was nice just to be back with him.

After nearly an hour passed, Charlie broke the silence. "I understand if you're not ready to talk to me about all this Bella. I just hope you know that I'm here for you whenever you are ready..."

"Thank you dad... I really appreciate that."

He gave me a smile, glancing toward the window. "Is that Edwards car..."

I nodded and cleared my throat. "Yea... I'm going to need you to follow me over to the Cullens so I can leave it there..."

"Sure thing. When do you want to go?"

There was no time like the present, and I wanted to get it over with. "Now... would be good for me..."

Charlie got up from the table and took our jackets from the coat rack. He handed me mine and put his on, then grabbed his keys from the key rack hung by the door.

"Let's go." He said, opening the front door for me.

It was chilly and dreery out. The drive over to the Cullens was harder than I thought. I couldn't stop the tears that ran down my face, as we pulled into the familiar driveway.

Alice came bounding over the steps, and I silently wished they all were gone. It wasn't that I didn't love them. I always would. But I knew that this was something Edward and I would never be able to get over. Something we would never be able to overcome, no matter how much time would pass.

I got out of the car, and Alice threw her arms around me. I winced, turning my face away from Charlie, who stayed leaning up against his cruiser, shifting his weight from one foot to the other nervously. I could tell he was uncomfortable, especially since he didn't know yet what exactly had transpired between Edward and I.

"Oh Bella, I'm so sorry! I don't know what to say." Alice sighed, holding me tightly. I released her quickly. Her cold touch was too much for me to take right now. I loved Alice and always would. She had become like a sister to me. "Tell me what to do..." She pleaded.

I simply shook my head and looked over to the house to see all of them gathered there. Carlisle looked like he was in pain, and Esme appeared that she would be in tears if Vampires could actually cry. Emmet had an angry expression on his face. I couldn't be sure if it was pointed at me, but I didn't want to stay and find out. Emmet was liked a big brother to me and it pained me to think he may be angry with me.

"Here..." I whispered to Alice, handing her the keys to Edward's Volvo. I slipped off my wedding ring, and took Edwards out from my Jacket pocket and handed them both to Alice. She gasped and looked at them in her tiny hands. "It's not mine anymore... " I said to her.

She shook her head..."Bella..." She started, but I interupted her, placing my hand up.

"No... Alice... Really. Take them." I hugged her again quickly before turning on my heel and heading toward a waiting Charlie. I walked quickly.

"Bella Wait!" I heard Emmet's booming voice come from behind me and stopped in my tracks. I slowly turned around to see him jogging up to me in a normal human pace for Charlie's benefit I'm sure.

"Wait..." He said as he reached me. He looked back at the others then to me. "We feel just... horrible. I wish I knew where he was so I could kick his ass..."

I knew then that his angered expression from before was not directed at me and I breathed a small sigh of relief. He wrapped me up in a big bear hug, lifting me up off my feet.

"I'm really sorry. Please... don't be a stranger Bella... We'll miss you around here..." He said as he crushed me to him, upon releasing me he saw me wince and the anger was back.

I reached out and touched his huge arm. "Don't... It's okay..."

"It's far from okay, Bella... Im pissed at him for this. He should have known better. I wish there was more that we could do..." He said to me.

I stood up on my tip toes and kissed him on the cheek. He smiled back at me. "I know... I'll be... okay..." I said, trying not only to convince him, but myself that this was indeed true.

"Okay..." He said, watching me go to Charlie, who was now red in the face and looking more uncomfortable than ever.

I gave the others, my second family, a small wave as I got in Charlie's cruiser and we drove away.

Emmett stood at the end of the driveway and watched us leave. I sighed and glanced over to Charlie. His eyes were fixed on the road ahead, but I could see his face mixed with confusion as he tried to figure out just what in the hell had happened. I feared our talk would be in order sooner than I wanted it to be.

I didn't know what to say to him. What could I say... I wouldn't be able to tell him or anyone the truth about what happened. No one would understand. It wasn't something I could call my mom up about for two hours and cry to her. I would have to come up with something for them and that made me feel even worse to lie to them all the time.

We pulled into the gas station for Charlie to fill up. I glanced over to the truck next to us and nearly stopped breathing as I saw Embry there. He was pumping gas.

I slid down into the seat, not wanting to be seen by him. He would ask me why I was back, and I didn't want to answer him right now. Unfortunately, he saw Charlie as he was headed in to pay just as Charlie was exiting the store. I cringed and bit my lower lip as they talked.

Embry suddenly glanced over to the cruiser and saw me. His face lit up with a smile but it soon faded as he walked over to me. I could see the worry in his eyes when he reached the car. I wasn't going to be rude to him so I got out and leaned up against the car for support. My knees were weak and my hands shaky. Charlie gave me an apologetic look when he saw my face. I just sighed. It wasn't his fault.

Embry reached me and wrapped me up in a warm hug. The warmth reminding me of Jake and bringing back fresh tears. He held me a bit longer than I thought he would.

"Are you okay..." He whispered to me so low that Charlie wouldn't hear.

I swallowed hard, not trusting my voice and simply nodded to him. He pulled back and placed his hands on my shoulders, looking at me like he knew better. His grip was tight and I tried to keep my face straight, so he wouldn't know my pain.

"I'll be fine..." I whispered to him, glancing over to see Charlie now coming back to the car. I kept my tone hushed so he wouldn't hear as Embry's eyes met mine, giving me a look that said he didn't believe me.

"Why are you back early?" He asked me. "Not that I'm not happy to see you..." He said quickly

"Listen... I'll explain... later..."

He nodded and sighed heavily in reply. I wanted to ask where Jake was but was honestly scared to know the answer. After what had happened at the reception, I felt horrible asking any of them about him. After all, I had been the one to put him in the hell he was in to begin with. A hell so bad, that he felt the need to run all the way to Canada in wolf form just to escape the pain I had placed on him. Guilt lashed at me, making my tears come back.

Embry threw his arm around my shoulder and leaned up against the car with me.

"You know we're here for you..."

I nodded and quickly pulled myself together.

"I know. Thank you." I replied. He glanced down at me and we shared a look. He looked as if he wanted to say something more but I quickly stopped it.

"Well... I don't want to keep Charlie waiting. I'll see you sometime soon Embry." I said, opening my door. He winked at me and got in his own truck, starting it up and reving the engine a bit. He waved as he left. I knew he would be headed to Sams and would probably tell him that I was back. I didn't fool him. Of this I was certain.

Charlie and I arrived back at home shortly after and the rain had started. "I'm gonna go unpack my things okay?" I asked him. He nodded and sat down on the couch, flipping on the Mariners Game. That meant Billy would be over soon. "When I'm done I'll come down and make you some dinner? "

"You don't have to do that tonight. I'll just order some pizza for Billy and I. You're more than welcome to join us for the game later. Starts at 5..."

I started up the stairs and gave him a small smile at his sweet offer. However I knew nothing about the game so I kindly declined it. I had to unpack anyway.

I threw open the black leather suitcase that Alice had packed for me. I probably should have bagged the clothes she bought for me and given them back to her, but knowing her she wouldn't have taken them back from me. She would have insisted that I keep them. I took out all the clothes.

They were all brand new with the tags attached. They were very nice and expensive I was sure. Thankfully Alice had placed enough thought to black out the high price with a sharpie marker. I didn't want to know the exact amount. I was certain it was far more than what I would have ever spent on anything. With all the clothes she had packed for what was supposed to be my two week honeymoon, I practically had a brand new wardrobe. All of the clothes were classy looking and they fit me well, so I decided to keep them and hung them up in my my things were put away I placed the bag and suitcase on top of my closet and shut the door.

I heard a truck pull up to the house, and I glanced down to see a large black pick up truck. Billy was wheeling himself into the house as the truck drove away. I sighed and couldn't help but think of Jake.

I sat down on the bed, listening to Billy's warm laughter coming from downstairs. I listened to them banter back and forth about the game for several minutes before I heard Charlie coming up the stairs. I quickly went over to my computer desk and opened the laptop, making it appear that I was busy as he knocked and peeked his head in.

"Hey... You ... uh... doing okay up here?" He asked me. I nodded and gestured toward the laptop.

"Yeah... Just emailing Renee."

He nodded " Sure you don't want to join us?"

"No... really dad I'm okay... but thanks."

He smiled at me, but I could tell it was forced. He sighed and walked back down stairs to rejoin Billy and the game. I shut the laptop and looked over to the picture again, running my fingers across the cherry wood frame.

I thought back to seeing Embry earlier at the gas station. Maybe I could go see him and find out how Jake had been. I assumed he would still be checking in with them every once in a while. I could only hope that Embry would know something. I had wanted to ask him earlier but with charlie being right there. I couldn't.

I got up from the desk and grabbed my brown leather jacket, slipping it on and running down stairs. Charlie looked at me with a puzzled expression.

"Headed somewhere?" He asked me as I reached the bottom of the stairs. Billy smiled at me.

"Just out for a drive..." I explained to Charlie.

"Okay." He said, taking a sip from his beer and then grabbing a set of keys from the key box for me. "Here." He said, tossing me the keys to his cruiser. "Take the cruiser. Your truck needs an oil change."

I nodded and toyed with the keys in my hands as Billy cleared his throat. "Drive safely Bella..." He said as I walked out the front door.

I jogged out into the cold damp night and got into Charlie's crusier. I cranked the heat and the radio as I drove out of the yard. A wash of different emotions crossed over me as I entered into the familiar reservation. The small but homey houses lining the sides of the road. I could see the street lamps fluttering on as the darkness crept in around them.

I remembered where Embry lived as I rounded the first bend. I saw it then. His familiar blue house with the white picket fence. His truck was there and the lights were on.

I swallowed back the small amount of nerves as I pulled into his small driveway and cut off the cruisers engine. I got out, walking up there lit walk way, and onto there porch. I took a deep breath before lightly knocking on the front door. I waited a bit and then knocked again. Maybe he was asleep, or out patrolling.

I turned to leave just as he flew the front door open. "Bella!" He exclaimed with a broad smile. "Come in!" He said.

I walked in the house and he handed me a soda, gesturing for me to join him on the couch. I slowly sat down, looking around his small home. It was small but very clean and neat. His mom had taken a lot of time in making it feel homey. It was a very inviting place.

"So what brings you here hun?" He asked me as he took a drink from his soda.

I sighed, running a nervous hand through my hair as he awaited my answer. Where did I begin. He sensed my nervousness and cleared his throat.

"You looking for Jake..."

A bit of shock ran though me. Looking for Jake? Weren't they all looking for Jake again. After what happened at the reception I wouldn't be surprised if he was way past Canada now. I hated the thought of him being so far away.

"Why? Have you heard from him?" I asked nervously.

Embry chuckled and than got a serious look on his face.

"Heard... from him?" He asked me in reply. Sounding a bit confused. I suddenly felt like I was missing a big piece of the puzzle here.

I nodded to him. "Yeah. I mean... Is he back in Canada? Or close to there now?"

Embry looked thoroughly confused. He sat forward, reaching for the remote and turning off the t.v. now. "Bella... Jake's not gone."

I snapped my head up. My eyes growing misty. Jake... isn't... gone. I just assumed he would have taken off again. The memory of his agonized howl ripping through the air the night I left with Edward played fresh in my mind as I stared blankly at Embry.

He reached out and touched my arm, bringing me back to the present. "Bella?"

I shook my head and fought back the tears.

"He's... Not gone?" I asked him.

Embry shook his head, a faint smile playing on his lips.

"No. He's been out patroling for three days with Sam. You see... We had two new members join after you left. Colin and Brady. They're really young. Only 13 and 14. So we've all been trying to help get them situated lately. Jake's been out straight since you left for your honeymoon with Edward." He trailed off then, his eyes roaming to the floor. I could tell he was uncomfortable, as was I.

Embry got to his feet and grabbed the phone from the wall. I got up quickly and walked over to him. "What... What are you doing?"

"Calling Emily so she can tell Sam you're back early... He'll tell Jake for you..."

"No!" I gasped before he could finish.

Embry hung up the phone, looking at me like I had lost my mind. Maybe I had. After everything I'd been through the last few days, it certainly wouldn't surprise me in the least if I had.

"Bella What's wrong?" He asked me, worry clear in his face.

I sighed and crossed my arms over myself. The moment I did it, I looked down and noticed I was doing the same thing I used to. Trying to hold myself together the way I had when Edward had left me. I shook my head, feeling the tears overwhelm me as I made a bolt for the front door but not before Embry could step in front of it. He placed his hands on my shoulders and I tried to move around him.

"Hey..." He said in a softer tone than was normal for him. Tears ran down my face as I stared at the floor. I couldn't look at him...

"Look Bella... I don't know what's going on with you. Or ... why your back early. But... I do know one thing. I know your hurting and I know Jake would want to know. I mean... I know your probably still upset with him about what happened at the reception. He ..."

"No..." I said, stopping him. "I'm not mad at him... I'm... I'm..." I stopped and looked up at embry. Who looked more than uncomfortable at my emotional mess. He was always one to care and be the joker, but he had never seen me like this. Only Jake had. I pulled myself together and took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry Embry... Look... I... I have to go." I said brushing past him and running out the door.

I walked swiftly to the cruiser and jumped in. I drove fast out of the reservation. Embry stood at the end of his driveway watching me go.

My tears made driving hard... Jacob was still here... He hadn't left...

I made it back home and rushed back inside out of the rain. I tossed the keys to Charlie. "Thanks dad." I said, running upstairs, not wanting to make eye contact with either of them.

I went straight to the kitchen and started doing the dishes after I took off my Jacket. I needed a distraction.

Charlie placed his plate in the sink and lingered there. "You okay honey?"

I nodded, and started obsessively scrubbing the dishes. He must have taken the hint of my silence bacause he soon walked back into the living room.

The phone rang, startling me, and causing me to almost drop the plate in the sink. I quickly wiped my hands and went to answer it, pausing momentarily and remembering that

This could be Jacob... By now I was certain that Embry had alerted Sam who probably told Jake as well. I glanced at the clock. I had only been gone from Embrys for an hour now. However, I knew how fast word traveled amongst the wolves.

The phone kept ringing. Charlie came in to get it. I grabbed it off the reciever quickly before he reached it. He gave me a puzzled expression and then just shook his head.

"Hello?" I whispered into the phone.

I was relieved to hear Angela's voice come over the line.

"Hey Bella! I didn't think you would be back yet! I was just calling to thank Charlie for helping my gram last night with her groceries from the market. He was nice enough to bring them in the house for her."

I sighed and then smiled as relief washed over me that it was just Angela. "Oh... I will tell him, and yea... I'm back..."

She went silent for a moment... "Bella... is everything okay?"

I didn't know what to tell her. " Yea. I'll call you tomorrow Ang okay? I promise. "

"Okay. Talk to you then."

"Sure thing Ang." I replied, before hanging up the phone.

Charlie called to me from the living room.

"Who was that?" He asked.

"Oh just Angela." I yelled back to him and returned to the dishes.

Once I was finished I sat down at the kitchen table and started to read Withering heights for the tenth time. I didn't want to go in with Charlie and Billy because I knew they would both exchange glances and wonder what was really going on with me. Why I was home early. Billy would find out soon enough especially if Embry had run to tell Sam the way I looked at his house. I tried to focus on reading but only made it to the second chapter before my thoughts were too distracting making it hard to read properly.

I paced back and forth in the kitchen, debating on what to do. I reached for the phone and debated on calling Sam. What would I say though? I took my hand away from the phone, knowing that calling Sam wouldn't be a good idea.

I went up to my room and laid down. I wasn't sure what to do.

The hours passed and soon, I heard Billy leave and Charlie wander up the stairs. He tapped on my door and popped his head in. I was wide awake. I sat up and watched him come in. Seeing him lean against the door frame.

"Honey, I don't want to pry. But... this not knowing is driving me crazy." He said, sitting down on my bed... "I'm worried about you."

I knew this was coming. Had to happen eventually. I couldn't keep what happened in forever.

I got out of bed and walked over to the window, seeing the harsh wind blow the trees effortlessly. "It's... over..."

Charlie cleared his throat. "Just like that? I mean... Bella you... were pretty adimant on being with him... marrying him even. So ... what happened?"

I swallowed hard as I tried to think of what to say to my dad. I couldn't exactly come out with the truth to him, eventhough right now I desperately wanted nothing more than for him to know everything that had happened. So I settled on the next best believable explanation. I tried to keep my composure as I explained this to him.

"I was just... we were just... too young to make such a serious commitment. Edward really wanted to be married, and I went along with it for him. Because I did love him, but... I wasn't.. ready for all the sacrafice's I would have to make for it."

I spoke some of the truth. Being with Edward would have meant me giving up all my friends and family to change into one like him, and to lead that kind of life such as he and the rest of his family had for years now. So that small part was the truth at least.

Charlie sighed and walked over to the window with me. " Yeah... I can understand that, but you two could resume dating.."

"No." I said in a sharper tone than I had meant to, catching Charlie's attention.

"No...?"

I shook my head and faced away from him so he wouldn't see my resolve slipping away from me by the second as the vivid nightmare of what was supposed to be the most romantic night of my life played over again in my head. I could never love him again like I had before. Not after that... Not ever...

"Okay... Well listen, you know you're more than welcome here for as long as you need to be. I'm glad you're back home, Bella, and I love you. We'll talk more later?" He said, sensing my sudden shift in mood, and kissing me lightly on the forehead. I nodded as he left my room and continued to stare blankly out the window into the cold night. I soon laid back down and fell asleep, hoping my dreams would leave me be, but no such luck.

I woke up several times in the night thrashing around in my sheets, and screaming at the top of my lungs.

Charlie, once again, came bursting into my room, a look a panic on his face, as he shook me awake. My eyes flew open to see him staring at me with panic. I sat up straight in bed, and wiped the tears away as quickly as I could.

Charlie sighed and reached behind me, taking off the dream catcher that Jacob had made me.

"You know... Billy told me he's home now... I didn't say anything when you first got back but I knew he came to your reception. I talked to Billy. He told me that Jake had simply run off for a while to clear his head, but that he was okay and home now." Charlie stated handing me the dream catcher... "Sure glad he's okay..." He said to me before tucking me back in.

"Yeah." I replied in a whisper, slowly twirling the dream catcher in my hands, playing with the small delicate feathers.

"Try to get some sleep Bella. I love you."

"I love you, too." I replied, watching him leave my room.

As I laid there in the dark, holding onto the dream catcher, I thought of Jake.

I thought of his laughter, of his warmth, my mind running wild with the last memory of him. How I had been so happy to see him. The way I had run to him, throwing myself into his warm arms that night. The way he begged me not to go. His desperate plea's coming back to me. The way his eyes were filled with pain ..."Bella.. please ... listen to me..."

I wished more than anything now that I had listened to him. I was foolish to think that I could keep up with the supernatural for as long as I had. It was bound to catch up to me eventually, and that's exactly what had happened.

I tossed and turned for another solid hour before finally giving up and getting dressed and ready for the day. I took a shower and did some laundry for Charlie. I chose to wear one of the new outfits Alice had bought for me. Once again, I was careful to choose a sweater that covered the bruises that were now a deep shade of purple. I cringed, as I looked at my neck in the mirror upon dressing, never daring to see myself sully naked before I was fully clothed. The bruises would take forever to fade on my pale skin. I'd have to stick to dressing accordingly till they healed enough.

By the time Charlie wandered down the stairs to make coffee. I had already cleaned the house and made him some toast for breakfast. I poured him a cup of coffee and set it on the table. He looked at me like I was crazy for a moment before thanking me, and sitting down to eat. It was barely six in the morning and I was already done with any and all household chores. Charlie dressed in his uniform for work, and came back down over the stairs.

"Thanks honey for cleaning up. House looked really nice. What are you doing today?"

"I may get online and check on a few colleges..."

I now had a wide variety of schools to choose from. My options were no longer limited, and I planned on taking full advantage of that.

"Good Idea." Charlie agreed, reaching for me and pulling me into a tight hug. I kept my face down in his chest and quickly turned away when he released me so he wouldn't see the wince. My body still feeling like I had been hit my a truck.

"Have a good day. I'll call you later and check in okay?"

I nodded and smiled at him as he left. He stopped once he was half way out the door and turned back to me.

"Oh yea... Billy's coming over again for the game tonight... see ya honey."

I sighed and watched him leave. I listened to him pull out of the driveway,and dreaded tonight. I loved Billy but seeing him right now only reminded me that I couldn't avoid Jake forever. I missed him. I missed him more than I should.

I pulled out my laptop and began searching through some college websites and saving some information on them for me to read later. A knock at the door jumped me. I spilled my coffee all over the kitchen table. "Damn it." I muttered under my breath, grabbing a kitchen towel and wiping up the mess. Luckily it hadn't reached my laptop, so no real damamge was done. I threw the towel in the sink and hurridly rinsed my hands.

The knock came again and I couldn't help the panic that rose in my throat. I jogged over to the door and opened it. I gasped as I saw Carlisle standing there in the rain. His golden eyes met mine with sincerity as he spoke.

"Bella I... I don't know what to say. I'm so very sorry for the harm we have brought you..."

I opened to door wide for him, gesturing for him to come in out of the rain. He stepped in, and sighed.

"My family and I are leaving."

"Where?"

"We're going to live with The Denali's." He replied.

It made perfect sense that they would go join Tanya and her family. I knew how close they all were. I nodded in understanding. "Is... He..."

Carlisle shook his head. "No Bella. We don't know when he'll be back and Alice isn't one hundred percent sure where he is. He has made it very clear that he wants to be left alone right now. So we are trying to respect his wishes. Are you okay?"

I took a few steps back and sat down on the couch, unsure of how to answer that. Am I okay? No... Not really. The absence of Edward was everywhere I looked, just as it had been before. I was so wrapped up in him before that now it seemed very odd and unfamiliar to be without him like this.

"No..." I breathed.

Carlisle sat down next to me, and placed his hand on mine. "I'm so very sorry. Have you been to a doctor?"

I looked at him in shock. "And say what... exactly?" I said sharply to him, his eyes growing wide with understanding.

"Right... Well I came to see how you were. I know this would be... uncomfortable but... If your alright with it, I'd examine you."

I knew he was coming from a good place. I could see that. Carlisle was always very genuine, but I would never be able to let him fully examine me. I knew what that would entail, and while I trusted him. I was not comfortable with that.

I shook my head, staring off ahead of me.

"No..." I breathed... "But thank you anyway."

"Are you sure... Bella... There could be damage. Please promise me that you will go see your doctor as soon as your able to?"

I swallowed back the tears as I thought of his words. Damage... Yea there was damage. Both physical and emotional. I nodded to him and he removed his hand from mine.

"Okay." He replied, getting up off the couch and heading for the door. I lurched to my feet after him.

"When are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow." He reached into his pocket and retrieved an envelope from it. "Here Bella..." He stated, handing it to me.

I took it with shaky hands and opened it. Inside was a blank check with his signature at the bottom. I snapped my head back up to him.

"Wh..." I started.

"It's for College. It's the least I can do. So please... Please accept it from me. I truly feel aweful about all that happened. I will always consider you like a daughter to me Bella. You and charlie will always be family."

I glanced back down at the check. Looking at it in disbelief. I normally would have protested profusely but as I looked at him, the sincere regret in his eyes made me think that I should take his offering.

I folded the check and placed in in my jeans pocket before hugging him. I held no ill feelings against Carlisle. He loved with all he was, and had been very supportive of my relationship with Edward. I was relieved to know he felt this way for me. That he wasn't angry with me now.

"Thank you." I whispered to him.

He released me and took my hands in his. "You're welcome. Please feel free to call me or Esme if you need anything in the future. I mean it Bella. Anything at all."

"Okay." I replied. He opened the front door and stepped back outside into the drizzle.

"Goodbye Bella." He said with a grim smile.

"Bye Carlisle. Kiss Esme for me."

He nodded, turning swiftly on his heel and leaving without so much as uttering another word. I silently braced myself and waited for the crippling pain to hit me like before as I closed the door behind him and sank down to the floor. My knee's giving out on me. I heard him drive away and felt the rush of tears come. The hole that had been sealed up tight, now ripped wide open and consumed me.

I cried for losing Edward, and for all we had just lost. I cried for the loss of the Cullen's, my second family in so many ways. I cried for Jake... for putting him through all I had, and for missing him so much now. For not listening to him when he tried over and over again to tell me. I should've listened. Why was it that I was constantly throwing myself into these kinds of situations? Constantly choosing the wrong path?

After a few minutes, my tears began to subside, as I pulled myself up off the floor. I took out the blank check from my pocket and placed it in the bottom of my dresser drawer. I knew Charlie would never go through my things. So I felt it was safe there.

My attention was once again drawn to the picture of Jake, as I found his old note in that same drawer. I closed my eyes for a moment before unfolding it, and reading it again.

I couldn't do this anymore...

I threw on my jacket and zipped it up, before grabbing my keys. I knew Charlie said the truck needed an oil change, but where I was headed, it would get one. I needed to see Jake.

I pushed my old truck to it's limit, as I drove there. My tears, falling freely down my face, as I tried to think of what to say to him. Would he even see me? After what had happened at the reception, and all the shit I'd put him through, I wouldn't blame him one bit if he didn't want to see me ever again. I sure as hell deserved his anger.

I reached the reservation and slowly drove down the familiar road. My heart racing and my tears growing into full sobs the closer I got to Jacob's house. It wasn't long before I pulled up in front of the small red house that had been so much like a second home to me.

I wiped my tears and got out of the truck, walking up to the front door. I raised my hand to knock, pausing briefly for a moment, looking all around me. I didn't see him. It was still early. Only eight in the morning.

I lowered my hand, as I bit my bottom lip nervously. I didn't want to wake Billy. He had been up late watching the game with Charlie. I sighed and ran a nervous hand through my hair, as a shudder coursed through me, debating on what to do.

What would I tell him? Should I even be here? Would he listen to what I had to say? All these questions ran through my mind, as I turned around, and headed back to my truck. Waring with myself. Surely Embry would have told him I was home, and if not Embry, Billy would have by now? Wouldn't they? Maybe they wouldn't. Maybe they'd thought it would be best to just let me come to him when I was ready.

I glanced over to the garage, and couldn't help but wander over there. We had spent so much time together in here. I peeked in and found it was empty, so I stepped inside and looked around. It was exactly the same way it had always been since the last time I had been here.

I closed my eyes, remembering that day like it was yesterday. When I had told Jake I was going through with the change after graduation. I remember the shock and pain that crossed his face, as he threw one of his wrenches at the far wall... "He's got his hooks in you so deep..." His words echoing around me from the memory, as I opened my eyes, and walked over to his workbench, seeing all the tools left exactly where they used to be. Not everything was the same though. I noticed a small picture of us tacked up on the wall. I reached for it, and saw it had been taken at my house. We were sitting outside on the steps, his arm around me, my head on his shoulder. I couldn't help but stare at it, remembering how I felt in that moment... Safe... Loved. I touched the picture with my fingertips and blinked back the threat of new tears.

What right did I have to be here now? After I had turned my back on him. After all the pain I had caused him. My mind once again went back to the kiss we shared on the mountain. My heart racing within my chest, as his warmth enveloped me.

I stood there, focused on the picture. Silent tears welling up and spilling over now. That kiss had been so real. So full of love from him. He poured all he was into it, and I turned him away. What a selfish person I had been.

I thought back to after the newborn battle. Seeing Jake push Leah out of the way and take on that newborn vampire by himself. I swallowed hard as the image of his body being crushed in its vice like grip came back to me. His screams from the house when Carlisle had to rebreak his bones so they would heal right.

I had never been so scared for him. Seeing the look on Billy's face as Jacob's scream filled the air that night. I remember walking into his room and seeing how hurt he was. Dread filling me knowing what I had to tell him. Knowing I was gonna break his heart too. I remember what he said to me... "I'm exactly right for you, Bella. Being with me would be as easy as breathing."

I could not stop the tears that fell from my eyes as I relived this. My eyes fixed on the picture before me. It wasn't until I heard a warm, husky voice come from behind me that I realized I was no longer alone.

"Bells..."

I froze. My whole body tensing. I couldn't move or speak.

After a few long seconds, I slowly turned around and saw him there. Jacob... My Jacob...

Shock was on his face, as he saw me standing there in his garage. He locked eyes with me, nearly taking my breath away, as I stared back at him, suddenly feeling like I couldn't even remember how the hell to breathe, let alone talk or form sentences.

I wasn't ready for this. I wasn't ready to tell him what hell I'd endured. Wasn't ready to tell him how damn right he had been. Yet there he was right in front of me. Fully clothed. Which was a change for him. He was dressed in dark denim jeans and a black button up dress shirt, along with his dark brown leather jacket. He looked really nice. He always looked nice.

I cleared my throat and tried to speak but words seemed to fail me when I needed them the most. I took in a shaky breath, not knowing what to say to him.

What do you say to someone you've hurt like I have hurt him? How much does he know? By the look on his face It became clear to me that neither Billy, nor Embry had told him I was back home. He looked truly shocked as he stared at me, slowly closing the garage door behind him. His eyes never leaving me.

"You're... You're... Back?" He breathed. His eyes roaming over me, like he was checking for injuries. Little did he know my injuries were well hidden behind my clothes. I reached up instinctively and zipped up my jacket further. Making sure he wouldn't see anything. I still couldn't speak, so I nodded slowly to him.

As if he suddenly snapped out of his momentary shock, he took a few steps toward me, then stopped, looking like he was fighting with himself on what he should do, and what he wanted to do. A mix of emotions crossed his handsome face before he returned his attention back to me.

What was I doing to him? What the hell was the matter with me? Hadn't I put him through enough already with that scene at the reception in the woods?

I was more selfish than I thought. I shouldn't have come here. If I had any heart at all I should have let him be, and hope he would move on. Hope that he would find real happines with someone who deserved him. Not someone like me who constantly would reel him in, who selfishly needed him, then only to push him away the first chance I got. I shook my head, and dropped my gaze to the floor, guilt and shame overwhelming me. No... I shouldn't have come.

I made a mad dash for the side door of the garage, willing my led legs to move. I got a foot from the door before Jacob was in front of me in an instant.

I couldn't look at him. I kept my eyes on the garage floor beneath me, as I spun back around and wiped the tears that spilled down my face, hoping he couldn't see them.

"Bells..." He said to me again.

His warm voice covering me up, like someone drapping a big blanket over me on a cold winter day. The feeling was bittersweet because while it soothed me, comforted me, it also made me feel safe enough to fall apart. To let him in to the hell I had been through these past many days and nights, and that terrified me.

I instinctively wrapped my arms around myself as I stood there, my back facing him. Trying to keep myself together, as I heard his slow footsteps approach me from behind. My whole body tensing, as I tried to keep it all in.

He moved in front of me, and slowly reached for my arms, gently pulling them away from my midsection and taking a step closer to me. I felt like someone had me by the throat as I fought back my tears. I swallowed hard as I lifted my head to look him in the eyes. The moment he saw my face, he closed the small distance between us. I let out a gasp as his warmth surrounded me, folding me up in his own safe world.

I opened my mouth to speak, to say something, anything... But I didn't no where to start. How do I begin to tell him about what happened, about how it all had gone just the way he feared it would? I slowly shook my head, trying like hell to keep it all bottled up. I was determined not to tell him. Not to place this on tried to warn me. He had tried to tell me what might happen, and I was the fool who didn't listen. I felt like, in a way, I deserved what I got for not taking heed to what Jake had said before. What right did I have to him now? I was being beyond selfish, and I hated myself for it.

My mind was filled with memories of our kiss on the mountain, and how safe I had felt then. That was how love was supposed to make you feel... safe.

I closed my eyes as images of my so called honeymoon flashed before me causing a violent chill to course through me. I felt Jacob's arms tighten around me in response.

"Bells... Tell me, honey..." He pleaded with me softly.

I knew there was no way I would be able to keep this from him. Charlie was one thing, and I felt guilty enough for not telling him the whole truth as it was, but Jake was another story. I could never keep anything of great importance from him, and even if I tried, he could always see right through whatever facade I was putting on. That's just how we worked, how we always worked.

I opened my mouth, and spoke the only truth I could manage to get out right now. "You were right..." I whispered to him.

With my words came fresh new tears as I thought back to the pain of that dreadful night. My screams echoing in my head of me begging Edward to stop. It wasn't how it was supposed to be. Nothing had turned out the way it was supposed to.

I felt Jacob's whole body go rigid at my words. I wrapped my arms around his neck, burying my face in his shoulder.

"I'm sorry... "I choked out. "I'm so sorry."

I could no longer hold back the sobs that escaped me as I hung onto him. I could feel his heart hammering against his chest as he pressed me tightly to him.I was shaking in his arms as my crying continued.

"Bells... did he hurt you..." I heard Jacob ask in between my sobs, his tone strained.

I knew how furious he would be if he knew, and that scared me, too. I pulled back from him, wiping my tears frantically. Jacob caught my hand in his.

"Bells..." He whispered, his eyes piercing through my own.

I didn't even have to answer him, he already knew. He looked me up and down, doing a once over before settling his brown eyes back on mine.

I suddenly heard a truck pull up outside the garage door, as I took my hand quickly away from Jacob's, ready to leave, not wanting anyone to see me like this. I heard Embry's laughter coming from outside and opened the side door to the garage. Jacob reached for me, and shut the door with one swift movement.

"Wait here, Bells... Don't go... I'll be right back..." He said to me, softly running the back of his fingers along my cheek before turning, and heading out to meet the guys.

I sighed and walked back over to his work bench, leaning up against it. Based on what I could hear, it was Paul, Quil, and Embry who had stopped by. There was a lot of low murmuring, along with a "She's back already?" from a shocked Paul, followed by several footsteps leading away from the garage and the start of the trucks engine. Jacob was back in no time. He walked up to me, pulling me back into his arms again.

"Where is he?" He asked me, his tone feral. "Where's Cullen?"

I looked at him to see the anger now. "I don't know... He's... gone..."

Jake glanced down at my hand, seeing his ring missing from my left hand. He looked back up at me. His eyes pleading for truth.

"It's over..." I breathed to him.

I felt like someone had ripped me apart from the inside out, leaving me in mangled pieces. For the second time in my life, I felt utterly shattered. Only this time I had lost something I knew I could never get back... My innocence.

I moved away from Jacob, stepping slowly out around him. I felt so used, and violated. I had trusted Edward completely. I was willing to give up everything for him and now he had taken everything from me. Deep down I knew he wasn't the only one at fault. I wrapped my arms around myself, as I heard Jacob came up from behind me, wrapping his strong arms around me, pressing himself against my back and resting his chin on my shoulder.

I closed my eyes, wishing I hadn't been so foolish to think I could remain human and give myself to Edward. What I wouldn't give to go back to my reception and listen to Jake now. This wasn't what I wanted. This wasn't how things were supposed to be with Edward. Everything had changed so drastically and so fast, that I found myself having a hard time coping with it all. A week ago, I was set to marry him, and spend the rest of my life with him. How had everything become so ruined?

"I've got you, Bells. You're safe now." Jacob whispered, pressing his warm cheek to mine. Heat radiated down my neck and through my body from the simple gesture.

I relaxed into him and felt truly safe for the first time in days. I laced my fingers with his, feeling the choking lump in my throat return. After all the tears I had cried these last few days, I didn't think I had any tears left, but my supply seemed to be endless. I felt truly horrible for thrusting this all on Jacob. I was sure he had pack duties to attend to. The last thing I wanted to do was get him in trouble with Sam. I slowly turned in his arms.

"I can go if you need me to. I know you probably have patrol to run later..."

Jake wiped my tears away with the back of his fingers. "No... They'll understand."

I nodded as he reached for my hand, taking it securely in his. "Come inside with me?"

"Okay." I replied to him.

We walked hand in hand into the house, and sat down together on his couch. I was thankful Billy wasn't home.

The house was just the same as it always had been. Although things seemed to be cleaner, like Someone had been tidying the place up lately. Jake must have noticed my reaction when we walked into the living room. He chuckled as he released my hand.

"Yeah... Sue's been here a lot... She's helping dad out..."

I nodded, and looked around, seeing her hard work. The place was nearly spotless. It was nice to know that She had helped them out lately. With Jake running extra patrols, and being gone so long before, he barely had time to sleep and shower, nevermind cleaning the house. I had to hand it to Sue, she really knew how to tidy up a place. It looked great. I suddenly felt uncomfortabe here. Almost like I now didn't belong. My heart was racing as Jake sat next to me. I glanced nervously down at my hands, feeling my stomach turn, as I waited for him to ask the inevitable questions that I dreaded to answer.

I kept my focus on my hands, unsure of how I would answer the onsalught of questions I feared from Jake. The silence surrounded us both, as we listened to the wind whip around outside.

Jacob moved closer to me, and took my hand back in his. I silently braced myself, but was shocked when he simply sat with me, not saying anything, just holding my hand. I looked up and met his deep brown eyes with my own, as he leaned back on the couch, wrapping his arm around my shoulder and bringing me close to his side. I laid my head on his shoulder, placing my hand on his chest. I felt him kiss the top of my forehead and I melted into him.

We sat there in silence as time passed. Just like always, my heart began to slow down, and my breathing evened out when near him. Jacob seemed to notice the change in me, feeling him relax a bit himself.

I couldn't help but think back to the mountain... The look on his face when he overheard me and Edward... "You're marrying him..." I closed my eyes thinking back to the memory of it. How desperate I was to make him stay. How truly terrified I was at the thought of him getting himself killed in the battle with the newborns all because of me. The look of pain etched in his handsome features that night when I told him I was choosing Edward... "I'd rather get all the rebreaking done at once... I need some time."

His words now echoing through my mind. Even now, after all that... Here he was once again, trying to help me. Trying to put the shattered pieces of me back together. Just sitting here with him made me feel better. I always felt better when he was around. He just had that effect on me.

A wave of intense guilt hit me suddenly like a bolder crashing into me. This was beyond selfish... even for me...

I shook my head, feeling the tears sting my eyes once again, as a Loud knock on Jake's front door ripped me from my train of thought, bringing me back to the present.

I moved quickly away from Jake and stood up a bit startled. Jake stood up with me, taking my hand in his. I didn't even realize my hands were shaking until Jake held them in his. I was such a mess.

The knock came once again, a bit louder this time. Jake shot an irritated glance toward the door. "I'll be right back..." He said to me before heading for the front door.

I sat back down on the couch, and heard Sams voice bellow through the house. He sounded irritated, though I couldn't make out what he was saying. His tone certainly said he was angry.

I heard the front door slam shut, along with a few curse words from Jake before he returned. He gave me a half hearted smile, trying to ease the mood a bit as he saw the look of concern on my face. The last thing I wanted was for Sam to be angry with Jacob because of me. I had put him through more than enough as it was.

I rose to my feet and zipped up my jacket. "Jake..." I began, but was silenced by the look on his face.

"You're leaving?" He breathed, staring at my jacket, refusing to meet my gaze.

My stomach sunk to the floor as I realized what this must look like to him. Here I was, once again, leaving him to run back to Edward, or so he thought and why wouldn't he draw that conclusion? After all it was always what I had done in the past. Why would he expect any different?

I sighed heavily and removed my jacket quickly, setting it down on the couch. I watched as his expression softened as he moved closer to me. He reached up and touched my face, his eyes never leaving mine.

I could see he had a million questions, but was thankful he was holding them in. He respected me enough to wait. Truth was... I didn't feel like going home. I just wanted to stay with the person who knew me best. The person who made me feel whole when everything seemed to be crashing down around me.

I slowly sat back down on the couch. My thoughts rushing back to what had happened with Edward. I knew I could Tell him. I knew he would listen to every word and offer me the comfort I needed. I knew he would catch me when I fell, just like he always had.

I opened my mouth to say something... anything, but the harder I tried to come up with the right thing to say, the harder it became to speak at all. Jake knelt in front of me. Taking my hands in his and warming them.

My eyes met his and he saw my struggle without me needing to say a word. He read me like an open book.

"It's okay..." He whispered to me, his eyes searching the depths of mine... "When you're ready..."

I breathed out a sigh of relief, and nodded my head in agreement with him.

"Are you hungry... thirsty?" He offered. I shook my head and glanced at the clock on the wall. It was nearly noon and I hadn't eaten a damn thing. I had no appetite, and it was starting to take its toll on me. I felt truly exhausted. Jacob stood up and pulled me up with him.

"Come here, Bells." He said softly to me, as he pulled me close to him...

"You know you can tell me anything Bells... Anything..." He said softly to me. I sighed heavily into his chest, and bit my bottom lip nervously. Jake pulled back, taking my face in his warm hands... "You look beat, honey..."

" Yea... Yeah I am... Haven't really had much sleep lately..." I confessed.

"You can lay down for a while." He offered, walking us down the hall to his small but cozy room.

I stopped at the door, pulling back on his hand, and running a nervous hand through my hair. Sudden fear swept over me. A fear I couldn't understand and one so intense it caught me off guard.

I turned abruptly around and away from Jacob, releasing his hand. I instinctively wrapped my arms around my mid-section, as the familiar and terrifying feeling of me shattering all over again came crashing back into me.

I closed my eyes as flashes of the look in Edwards eyes came back to memory. The cold expression on his face as I begged him to stop. My screams now echoing through my head... "Stop...please stop!"

I felt the room start to spin around me as a warm voice came from behind me.

"Bells... Bella..." Jacob called out to me.

I grabbed my chest, feeling as though I couldn't breathe. I was having a panick attack.

Before I could fully comprehend what was happening, strong arms wrapped around me. Catching me before I could fall to the floor. My head spun violently, making me lose any and all sense of balance.

"Bells... Honey..." I heard Jacob say to me, but I couldn't respond. I spun quickly in his arms. His eyes piercing through mine, seeing my fear.

He steadied me on my feet once more. I watched as Jacobs eyes reflected my own pain.

I felt like he could see right through me in this moment. My legs felt heavy, like they were planted where I was permanently. After a few moments I finally found my voice...

"Jake ... I"m sorry... I... I..."

"Don't be... it's okay..." He replied.

I looked up at him, feeling foolish. This was Jacob. There was no place safer for me to be than with him. I had been in his room a dozen times and never batted an eyelash about it, but right now I couldn't ignore the intense fear that threatened to swallow me whole.

I stood there trying to think of something reassuring to say so that Jake wouldn't take this personaly, as some sort of rejection. Jake lead me back to the couch, and sat me down there. I watched him in silence as he grabbed a blanket from the closet, and laid it over me.

"Here..." He said, covering me up. I laid down and felt at peace finally. Jake sat down next to me on the floor, reaching for the remote, and turning on a football game. Without even thinking about it, I reached over and ran my fingers through his jet black hair, which looked to be recently cut. I could only assume that Sue had done that as well. It was a bit shorter then it had been at the wedding reception... The memory of my wedding causing a pain in my stomach. I went to remove my hand from his hair but Jacob caught it in his, lacing our fingers together.

"Sleep honey.. Stay as long as you want..." I closed my eyes, and fell asleep with Jake's hand in mine.

I awoke hours later to my own screaming. For my dreams would not leave me alone... "No.. No Edward Stop...STOP!"

My eyes flew open, searching wildly around me. Darkness surrounded me. Making me feel suffocated.

The front door flew open then as Jake burst through it. He was beside me in an instant.

"Hey... your okay Bells... Your okay Honey..."

I threw my arms around his neck, clinging to him. I knew it made me weak but I couldn't help my fear.

My breathing came out in gasps as Jacob held me to him. His warmth enveloping me. My heart was hammering in my chest as I shook with fear. The heat radiated off of Jacob, seeping in through my shirt and warming me to my very core. That nightmare had felt so real.

I slowly pulled away from him. It was then that I noticed he was shirtless, and wearing only his cut off shorts.

"I'm sorry Bells... I had to go out and see Sam and Paul for a bit... I stayed close to the house so I could still hear you. I phased back and ran straight here when I heard you screaming." He said, reaching up to tuck a stray lock of hair behind my ear. I nodded to him and quickly looked away feeling ridicilous. I thought I was way past all thiis from when Edward had left me before, but I guess I wasn't.

I felt my cheeks flush red as my eyes wandered to his bare chest, seeing the well defined muscles there. I sucked in a shaky breath and quickly looked down at my hands.

Jacob seemed to notice my uneasiness, because he got to his feet, and grabbed a black T- Shirt from his room. He pulled it on, and sat back down with me.

"What time is it?" I asked him.

"It's midnight..."

"Oh... Oh No! Charlie must be worried out of his mind for not checking in!" I said, dashing off the couch, and running to grab my phone on Jake's kitchen table. Jacob was fast behind me.

"Bells it's fine ... I already called him and told him you fell asleep here.. He said to call him when you head home in the morning. It worked out okay cause my dads at your place."

I sighed with relief, and placed my phone back on the table. " Thanks Jake..."

Silence fell around us, although I knew that my racing heart gave me away.

"I... Didn't mean to... interupt patrol with Sam..."

Jacob gave me half a smile. " It's okay... No big deal. I'll talk to him later. "

"I'm sure you're tired..."

I secretly hoped he wasn't because I was now wide awake.

"No... I'm ok..." He replied.

I felt like there was this wall between us. I knew I had no one to blame for that but myself. The hurt I'd put him through gave him every right to be guarded. But this didn't feel like that. The wall was put up by me. By what I wasn't sharing with him. What I wasn't telling him. I sighed and glanced up at Jake. "Thanks for letting me stay here..."

"You know you're welcome here anytime..." He replied.

I stared at him and couldn't help but think about how many times we've said good bye to eachother. Each time, thinking it would be the last time and yet here we were. I wanted to tell him everything. I just didn't know where to start.

Jacob took a step closer to me. I could feel his warmth at my back. He took my hand, slowly turning me to face him. He nodded back to the couch.

"Come sit with me? "

We sat down and I nestled into his side as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders. I knew he needed some answers. His body was tense next to mine.. I closed my eyes, and turned my head, hiding my face in his neck. His woodsy, pine scent was a comfort all on its own. I hadn't realized just how much I had missed it until right now.

The memory of me crying in the bathroom on what was my so called " Honeymoon " coming back to me. I wanted to feel safe in that horrifying moment and Jacob was who came to my mind.

I took a deep breath and started to tell him everything...

"I should have listened to you..." I began, my voice sounded shaky.

Jacob tightened his arm around me, but remained silent, allowing me to speak.

"Everything you said... all that you tried to warn me about... Came true... Just like you said it would..." I stopped for a moment when I felt Jake go rigid and take a deep breath. I knew this would be hard for him to hear, and I knew that he would be furious with Edward once I told him everything...

"I don't know why I thought I could... try to have a normal... honeymoon... it was beyond insane... I guess I just believed that he really loved me enough to be okay... That he couldn't hurt me because of that love... I was so stupid..." I sighed and noticed Jacobs hand ball into a fist in his lap. I placed my hand on top of his, and continued on the best I could.

"I haven't told Charlie anything... although I think your dad knows... He seemed to know the night I returned without me having to say a word. I thought... maybe... he would have told you... But I understand why he didn't..." I fell silent and felt the small tremors start in Jacob. I tightened my grip on his hand, and looked up at him. He closed his eyes for a moment. I knew he was fighting with himself. Trying to remain in control.

He slowly opened his eyes. Seeming to regain control. The small tremors stopped as I laid my head on his shoulder. His thumb began to stroke my hand in his. It was just his way of encouraging me to continue.

I felt my emotions starting to get the best of me. So I hurried through it all. I kept it short and brief. I didn't want him to know the details. It would surely enrage him.

"I tried to stop him... I tried ... I... I begged him to stop... I brought out the monster in him." A tear ran down my cheek and I quickly removed my hand from his. Wiping the tears away. "I guess in a way ... It's my own fault... I got what I was asking for... I should have listened."

I stood up and wiped more tears away... "I should of known better..." I breathed, as I looked out Jake's living room window into the dead of night.

Jacob shot up from the couch, and took my hand back in his. Spinning me back around and pulling me into his arms. He was silent, but I could feel the tremors start again. Here in his arms I felt safe... safe enough to fall apart, and I did. I buried my face into his chest and let my sobs consume me. I cried for what Edward had done to me. I cried for the love we lost because of that. I cried for the time I wasted on the relationship only for it to end this way. I cried for being so naive and selfish. I cried for the hurt I had caused Jacob. For not listening to him when he pleaded with me to stay. The regret I felt was consuming.

My sobbing continued until my legs got weak. Jacob had me pressed to him, holding me close. He scooped me up and moved to the couch with me, placing me on his lap and wrapping a blanket around me. I gathered myself. Catching my breath. After a while I calmed down and closed my eyes. I tried to fight sleep that was pulling at me, but my body fought me every step of the way. I felt Jacob tighten his arms around me, and rest his head on mine before I finally drifted off to sleep. I nestled closer into him and let sleep claim me.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight Saga Series. Stephanie Meyer owns them all.

**CHAPTER 2**

JACOBS P.O.V

I had run as far as my legs would carry me. Running seemed to be the only thing I wanted to do. The one thing that would put extreme distance between me and the girl who has my heart. The girl who makes my heart stop when she enters the room. The only girl I see a future with... Bella... My Bells.

Only she wasn't mine. She was set to marry that damn leech. That stupid bloodsucker of hers... Edward.

My lungs were beginning to burn from exhaustion, so I stopped by the river for a short rest, looking all around, and taking in my surroundings. I had been on a dead run for hours now. I had to get away from all this. I just couldn't take it anymore. In my heart, I knew beyond a shadow of doubt, that Bella should be with me. That she and I belonged together. How can my heart beat only for her and she feel nothing for me? She was the only girl that I had ever loved. The only one who ever meant anything to me. She's had my heart since we were kids. I had loved her before I really even knew what love was.

This felt all wrong. Her marrying Edward wasn't right but it was too late now. None of that mattered. The invitation I received in the mail, only confirmed that for me. I wanted to shred it to pieces the moment my hands touched it. I knew that it was just Edward's way of throwing it in my face. His way of laughing it up.

I huffed and took a drink from the river. I was in Canada, just south of the Border. I glanced up at the sky, seeing it was nearly getting dark out. I was wiped out and decided to lay down where I was and try to sleep. Though I knew how damn pointless that was. Each time I closed my eyes, the image of Bella's beautiful face came to my mind. Her perfect smile. Her angelic laugh. Even her clumsiness was something I had grown to love about her. It just gave me more of a reason to catch her everytime she took a misstep, and almost fell on her face. I loved everything about her.

Pain hit me at the thought of all that being gone soon. She would never blush again. Never trip and need me to catch her...

I thought back to the kiss we shared on the mountain. The way her lips molded to mine. The way she melted into me. How beautiful it was to see her face flush with color that I'd put there.

My heart felt like it had been shredded a million times over. Just as I closed my eyes I heard it.

"JACOB!"

Startled, I jumped to my feet and looked all around. I knew that voice. It was Quil. Shit... he had followed me here, or tracked my trail. I had been gone for weeks now. How the hell did he catch up with me. I was tempted to run. But the desperation in his voice stopped me cold where I was.

"Jake wait! Stop! She misses you. Come on man, this is ridiculous."

I turned around and saw him cut out from the trees. He was now in front of me. I whined at his words and huffed back at him. Our minds now connected in thought.

"Misses me! Ha! Yea... She chose man. Please... just leave me the hell alone."

"Jake, you're my brother... Blood or not man... Bella may have chosen to marry the leech but she's been calling all around the Reservation every day for weeks now, checking to see if any of us have heard from you. She's driving Leah insane and to be truthful, the rest of us are going a little crazy with it, too. She still cares Jake..."

I thought about what he was saying. I could just picture her pacing back, and forth in front of the phone at her house. Waiting to see if I would call or not. She was sorry for hurting me. She felt guilty. Bella was many things. Cold hearted wasn't one of them. She had one of the biggest hearts I knew.

"No... No man... No she doesn't. She's worried is all and she feels guilty. That's all this is. Trust me..."

"She sounds bad Jake..." He replied before I was ready to take off running again. I took a few strides and than stopped. He knew just what to say to make me rethink running. He knew how much I loved Bells. How much she meant to me.

I turned back around and looked at him. "What do you mean she sounds bad? Is she okay? What's wrong?"

Quil took a few steps to me. His wolf eyes set on mine.

"She is really worried. Each time she calls, she sounds like she's on the verge of tears and Charlie... oh don't even get me started there. He has half the town out looking for you. He's put flyers up for you all over Forks and La Push Jake! Your face is plastered over every telephone poll. Has been for over a week now. Charlie's been over to Billy's every night, begging him to keep searching for you. It's taking a toll on their friendship cause Billy knows damn well where you are... just like we do. But he very well can't tell Charlie that now can he..."

He truly had a point there. I had been in wolf form and on the run for over a month. I knew my dad would understand, but hadn't given much thought to Charlie. I hadn't thought much about anything but Bella and trying to leave her behind.

Truth was... I knew I couldn't run away from my feelings for her. No matter how many miles I put between us, it would always follow me. As much as I wanted to keep running, I knew I had to go back sometime. I owed it to my dad if no one else. He needed me. With Rachel being gone to College, and Rebecca living away with her husband, I was the one he depended on, and I couldn't let him down. Sue had been stepping in and taking my place while I had been absent. I checked in with Sam twice before just to be sure he was well taken care of.

"Okay... Okay I'll head back." I told Quil. Bowing my head in defeat. I didn't want to run back home just yet, but felt I had to.

I'd been keeping track of time and counting the days that had passed since I left. I knew what I had to face very soon... The day I would lose the girl who my whole world revolved around.

We made our way back home, and it only took us two days of running. We stopped a few times for water and a little rest, but never stayed too long in one place. Before I knew it we were able to connect with the rest of the pack. They all phased in at once...

"Jake..." Sam said, in a relieved tone. "You're back."

"Bout damn time." Added a bitter Leah.

"Shut up, Leah." Paul Barked at her harshly. "He doesn't need your bitchiness right now. Glad to have ya home bro."

"Good to have you back. " Added Seth and Jared.

"Thanks..." I replied. A bit taken by surprise. It was no secret that Paul and I didn't exactly get along like best friends.

"Listen I gotta head home. Talk to dad and shower. I'll catch up later."

With that, I parted ways with Quil after giving him a nod, and headed straight through the dense forest to my house. My mind clouded with thoughts of Bells, as I neared my back yard. I broke through the clearing in no time, but stopped in my tracks when I spotted Charlie's cruiser in the driveway. Suddenly there was yelling... Charlie was yelling. I stuck close to the trees, staying well hidden but listened.

"This is insane Billy! Where the hell is he? You don't seem nearly as concerned as I thought you would do. I'd be losing my damn mind if it was Bella. Something is off here Billy." He yelled, throwing his hands in the air and pacing back and forth in the driveway. My father wheeled himself down the ramp and met Charlie there.

"I know Charlie but I trust he will be okay. Jake's got a good head on his shoulders. I would be lying to you old friend if I said I wasn't worried for my Son. I am... But..."

Charlie threw his hands in the air again...

"But... But what... Fine! I'll keep posting flyers around town about him. I've got every officer keeping a watchful eye for him between here and Forks. But if you don't want to help... that's just fine with me. This is tearing Bella apart you know. She cries herself to sleep almost every night. She thinks I can't hear her, but I do... I do..." Charlie finished with a heavy sigh as he got into his cruiser then and sped away. My father watched him leave, staring at his cruiser now pulling away.

I couldn't help the whine that escaped me at the mention of Bella crying herself t sleep. If that wasn't enough to hit me hard, the lost look on my Father's face sure as hell was. I went back into the woods and phased, pulling on the torn and muddy cut off shorts I had taken with me all these weeks.

Once My father went back in the house I crossed the back yard and made my way inside. I paused at the front door, my hand lingering on the knob. I knew my father would be angry with me for leaving him so long like this. He had a right to be.

I had put him through hell these last five weeks. I was just gonna have to take it like a man and let him get it all out at once. There was no avoiding that.

I quickly opened the door and went inside, closing it slowly behind me.

"Jake... Son... is that you?" I heard my father's voice coming from the kitchen, as I sighed heavily and drug myself in there to face his wrath.

He was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in his hand. I didn't speak. I just sat down at the kitchen table with him. He looked up at me. The worry clear in his face.

"Dad... I..." I started. My father raised his hand to silence me.

"No... I'm not angry with you Son." He stated with a heavy sigh. "Bella's getting married in two hours, making her your enemy...you're losing her... I would run away too if I could..."

I stared at him, swallowing hard and trying like hell to keep my emotions in check. But what he said hit me hard.

"Son... I'm here for you if you need anything. You may be grown and a wolf of your own now... No matter what... you'll always be my boy..."

Tears formed in my eyes at his words. I cleared my throat and nodded to him. I didn't trust my voice, so I didn't speak. I quickly got up from the table and ran into my room, closing the door firmly behind me as I leaned up against it for support, feeling my legs go weak. How the hell was I going to do this? How do you let go of someone you love that damn much?

I slowly lifted my head to see my room had been cleaned up. Sue must have been here recently. I'd have to thank her later for all she'd done in my absence. A framed picture of Bella and I caught my eye. It was on my night stand right next to my clock. Charlie had taken it at a bonfire two months ago. It was my favorite picture of us together. I made a frame for it as soon as Charlie gave it to me. Bella's smile lit up her face that nite. I felt my heart rip open for the hundredth time as I stared at the woman who was my reason for living.

The clock ticked away as I got lost in thought of us, of all we had done together. I soon broke away from my thoughts, and grabbed some clothes from my drawers. On top of my dresser laid the wrinkled wedding invitation. I swallowed hard as I took it in my hands. Reading it once more. I thought back to Quil's words..."She still cares..." I tossed the invitation on my bed and sighed.

I knew how hurt she'd be if I didn't at least show up. I grabbed my phone and turned it on for the first time in weeks. I had ten voicemails from Bella. I listened to them all, every single one of them. She pleaded with me to come back home and call her... "I miss you... Jake ... I'm really worried about you... You know I care about you..."

Her voice sent more pain rippling through me. I tossed the phone on my bed and sat down placing my head in my hands. What the hell did she want from me? She had made her choice...

I grabbed my clothes, replacing my T- Shirt with a button up dress shirt. I knew how much this would hurt me but I owed it to Bella to at least make an appearance at her wedding.

I ran from my room to the shower, turning the water to as hot as it would run and scrubbing my skin twice over. Running in wolf form did wonders for the appearance. I emerged from the bathroom thirty minutes later, fully clean and back to normal. I felt good. I had certainly missed taking a long hot shower over these past few weeks. Jumping in a cold lake in wolf form just wasn't the same that's for sure.

I glanced at the clock, noticing the time... Bella would be walking down the aisle to her bloodsucker right about now. A tremor ran through me, as I took a deep breath, reigning in my anger and pulling myself together. I grabbed my black sneakers and pulled them on just as my dad wheeled in from the kitchen.

"Where are you going?" He asked me in a worried tone. I stood up and gave him a hug.

"Don't worry dad... I'm home now... I'll be back later... I promise." I said, releasing him and heading for the front door.

"Jake!" He yelled after me, but I was already running into the garage. I knew what he was afraid of, that I would lose my cool from seeing her at the wedding and take off again for weeks.

I started my rabbit and took off for Forks. I wanted to phase and run there but considering I had just showered, I didn't think that was such a good idea.

The closer I got to the Cullens house, the worse the tremors got. I had to pull over half a mile from there house and walk the rest of the way through the woods. I didn't care. It would give me time to think. I parked along side the road and took a well known path in the woods, making my way to the huge house.

I stopped at the edge of the woods that lined there back yard, and listened to the music playing. The place reeked of Vampire. I had to really focus to keep my cool, but the heat radiating down my spine was hard to control. It was my instinct to phase when near them. Every tree was decorated with twinkle lights. No doubt Alice had arranged that.

I suddenly heard Edward cut into my thoughts. Invading my mind the way he always did.

"Jacob... She'll be thrilled you came." He said quickly.

I shook my head and thought back to him.

"Yea... Well I at least owe her that."

"This was really nice of you... I will bring her to you..." He replied.

I waited there in the cover of the tree's for her. My heart racing, my eyes already misty with unshed tears. How are you supposed to say goodbye to someone who means so damn much to you? She would never be the same again. He'd change her. Make her into one of them, into my natural born enemy. I would hate Bella...

I closed my eyes, feeling a tear run down my cheek just as I heard them coming. Her scent filled the air around me. Knocking the wind out of me. I wiped my tears and stood up straight, waiting for them to come into view. I could hear her laughter and her voice...

"Edward... what kind of wedding gift is way out here?"

I walked out of the cover of the tree's, but wasn't prepared for what I saw.

Bella was breathtaking. I stood frozen where I was for a moment. Luckily she hadn't seen me yet. I finally moved and walked closer to them.

They stopped and Edward gestured towards me. She followed with her eyes and I watched, as her whole face lit up with pure joy. A wide, heart stopping smile, spread across her beautiful face.

It took my breath away and made my heart break all at the same time.

"Best man didn't even have time to get a tux." I said to her.

"Jacob!" She breathed. Tears formed in her eyes and her heart began to race.

I treasured the sound of every beat, knowing it would stop beating soon enough. Despite the pain, I forced a smile for her anyway.

She ran to me, White Wedding dress and all. I held my arms open for her, and she willingly jumped in them.

I caught her with ease and held her to me. Her scent surrounding me, filling my senses.

"Hey Bells..." I laughed with her. Feeling her in my arms again was heaven and hell all at the same time.

I went to release her, but felt her hang on to me, and I instinctively tightened my arms around her.

I glanced at Edward who had an unreadble look on his face. In some smug way I was glad that her reaction to seeing me caused him discomfort. What he had with her couldn't even begin to come close to the bone deep connection we shared. Never would...

Soon I felt Bella slowly let go of me and I set her back on her feet.

She looked up at me. Beaming with joy.

"Hey..." She replied to me. She was so beautiful, I found it hard to think of how to speak in the moment.

"This is kind of you Jacob..." Edward said, his eyes never leaving the two of us.

"Kind is my middle name." I replied. My eyes set on Bella

She turned back to glance at Edward..."Thank you." She said to him as he nodded and started walking back to the reception.

"Well I think I owe Rosalie a dance..." He said to us as he left. Bella looked back up at me.

"You look Beautiful Bells...I'm sorry I'm late..." I said, staring into those doe eyes of hers.

"Doesn't matter... everything's... perfect now..." She said with tears in her eyes.

I pulled her close to me..."Dance with me..." I whispered to her. She smiled at me.

"Right here?"

I nodded to her and lifted her up in my arms, twirling her around,and setting her back on her feet. I took her hand in mine and placed my other hand at the small of her back.

We swayed to the distant music coming from the reception. Neither one of us saying anything. Her heart was still racing and I loved the sound of it humming along in her chest.

"Are you okay?" She whispered to me.

I swallowed hard ,and nodded to her.

"Yea. for the most part. I mean, it's kind of odd to get used to the whole human thing again. You know, walking on two legs and not four anymore. I just came from home."

I heard her sniffle and pulled back to look at her beautiful face.

"I missed you..." She whispered to me with tears streaming down her cheeks. I wiped them away and gave her half a smile. It was all I could manage. Her pain mirrored my own.

"You're not supposed to be crying, Bells..."

She shook her head and pressed herself back into me as we bagan to sway to the music once more...

"Everyone cries at wedding's..." She replied into my shoulder.

We continued to dance. Getting lost in the music altogether. I felt a shudder course through her and her heart begin to pound rapidly. I tensed...

"Are you okay ...being here I mean?" She asked in a shaky tone.

I nodded, leaning my head down a bit and nestling into her neck. I breathed her lilac scent in, cherishing it...

"Why... afraid I'm gonna crash your party?" I breathed to her.

We heard a few sticks break off in the woods behind us. I stopped and pulled back. Glancing in the direction of the sound. I knew Sam and the others were real close, keeping a watchful eye over me...

"You're not the only one..." I confessed.

She let out a heavy sigh.

"I'm Sorry..." I said, pulling away from her..." I'm just trying to appreciate your last night as a human..." I could barely get the words out.

"Well it's not my last night... " She quickly replied to me.

My heart soared at her words... Had she changed her mind and decided to wait?

"I thought..." I started...

"I didn't really want to spend my honeymoon in that kind of pain..." She replied as I pulled her back into me and began to sway with her to the music.

She fit perfectly in my arms. Almost like they were made to hold her... to protect her. I closed my eyes and felt pain rip through my chest. This was going to kill me...

After a few moments it occured to me what she had just said... wait... honeymoon? I stopped dancing and looked at her...

"What's the difference... I mean.. It's not like you're going to enjoy a real honeymoon anyway..."

She stared back up at me in confusion and pure terror began to course through me from the look on her face..

"Well... it will be as real as anyone else's..." She stated firmly to me.

I felt like someone had just knocked the wind out of me...

"What..." I breathed. "While your still human... That's a sick joke. Tell me your joking Bella. Tell me your not that stupid." I said to her. My tone thick with acid.

" It's none of your Business..." She replied, Anger evident in her own tone.

Panic shot through me. I felt sick as I grabbed her by the arms. Trying to get through to her.

"No... No... Bella Listen to me... Please..." I said firmly to her.

"Let me go Jacob!" She yelled, trying to move out from my grasp.

Edward appeared behind us in a flash. "Jacob let her go." He yelled.

Bella's eyes locked on mine and I saw the fear in them... The fear of me.

It hurt like a knife to the chest. I immediately released her and focused on Edward. I saw blood red when I looked at him. I wanted nothing more than to rip him limb from limb.

"What are you crazy.. huh? YOU'LL KILL HER..." I screamed, in fury at him.

Suddenly Sam and the rest of the pack came running out of the woods.

I lunged for Edward ,and felt Sam and Seth grab me and pull me back. They held me in place, but I fought them hard.

"Get off me!" I spat to Sam, pushing him away.

"Let it go Jacob." Sam said, with power and Alpha authority. The order almost knocked me to my knees but I fought it and my anger over ruled it.

"Stay out of this Sam... He'll kill her!" I yelled at him

Sam shook his head. " It's not our concern anymore..." He declared.

I whipped my head back toward Bella and stared at her. She was curled into Edward. Her eyes rimmed with Tears.

He would kill her. What the hell was she thinking?

I knew with one look that she was afraid and that nothing I could say would change her mind. It broke me. Shook me to my core. I had to get the hell out of here. I was losing my shit.

I turned quickly and pushed roughly into sam as I charged back into the woods. Agony ripping through me with every step I took.

I heard Edward and Sam say... "Bella... No... Don't."

I continued to jog into the forest, stopping when I heard Bella come after me. "Fuck..." I cursed under my breath. This hold she had on me was going to be my very undoing in the end.

I stripped off my shirt and froze again, hearing her terror filled voice come from behind me.

"No.. Jake... Stop Please!" She begged.

I turned around to see her running to me. My eyes filled with tears as I caught her in my arms and pressed her tight to me. Wanting to take her away with me. Keep her safe. She clung to me and I heard her tears before I saw them...

"Please... Please don't hate me..."

Hate her... My heart was beyond shattered... there was nothing left to it. I felt as though someone had reached in and ripped it from my chest... Nothing but a huge whole remaining.

"I could never hate you, Bells..." I whispered to her.

My body began to shake. But this wasn't from the tremors. This was my pure fear for her. She looked up at me... " You'd think I'd be used to telling you goodbye by now..." I breathed to her. She wrapped her arms around my waist, burying her face in my chest as I kissed the top of her head.

"Don't say that..." She cried.

"Bella... please don't do this. Wait until your changed. He could hurt you... Really hurt you." I pleaded with her.

Hell, I'd get on my knees in front of her if that's what it took. I didn't give a shit if it made me weak. Bella was my life... My world. Without her... I didn't work.

"I'll always love you, Jake." She said, releasing me and wiping her tears. I shook my head, and knew I'd lost this fight. She was gonna go with him and risk her own life. I kept her hand in mine, as I spoke to her, saying the one thing I wanted her to always know...

"And I'll always be waiting in the wings..."

She slowly pulled her hand away. Keeping her eyes locked with mine. Tears streamed down her face just as the tears in my own eyes welled up and spilled over.

I watched her as she slowly turned around and walked away from me.

I gripped the tree for support, feeling my knees almost give out and my heart wrench. I brought my hand up to my chest and turned away from her just as she was no longer in sight.

I took off running through the woods as Intense heat shot through my chest and down my spine, spreading out to my limbs. I phased then and kept running. I ran straight to my house. The others all started to follow me, but I heard in my mind, Sam give the order to leave me be. It was wise. I was in no place to talk right now.

I reached my house and phased back in the back yard, pulling on my jeans and sprinting for the front door. My eyes were clouded with tears and made seeing pretty damn difficult. I burst through the front door to see my father sitting in his chair in a tux. I stopped where I was, staring at him in disbelief...

"You... You went?" I gasped, looking at him, as worry crossed his features.

"Charlie just dropped me off ten minutes ago... I went to support Charlie and I do love Bella, even if I don't love her choice..." He explained.

I spun back around and grabbed the door knob, ready to leave again, to get the hell away from here.

"Son Stop!" My father yelled, bringing me up short.

I closed my eyes and released the door knob in my grasp, as I balled my hands into fists and fought the rocking tremors that hit me like a freight train from my anger. More angry tears streamed down my face, as I turned to look at him.

"I Know this is hard for you..." He began. I shook from head to toe at his words.

"Hard for me!" I yelled out in anger, unable to keep it in any longer..."No dad! This isn't JUST HARD for me. THIS IS ripping me the fuck apart. I just watched my only reason for breathing walk away from me... again... straight into the arms of her bloodsucker! And you know what the worst part is... it's never knowing what might have been." I walked to the couch and sat down there. Placing my head in my hands. This was all too damn much...

I felt my father's hand touch my arm..."I know what it's like to lose the one you live for..." He whispered to me.

Guilt hit me hard as I lifted my head to see the tears in his eyes reflect my own. Of course he knew exactly what this felt like, only way worse. He lost my mom. He lost the love of his life. I missed her now more than ever.

"I'd take this from you if I could Jake. You never want to see your children hurting. No matter how grown and strong they are. They're always your babies..." He sighed.

"I know dad... I know..." I said to him, as a sob broke through me.

I had never cried with my father like this. Not since I was a child. No matter how hard I tried, or how weak I knew it made me, the tears continued to come. I cried with him there for what seemed like hours.

She would never again be my Bells. He would replace her with something foreign and stone cold. I hated this...

Eventually, it became late into the evening, as a knock on the door caused the both of us to pull it together. I wiped my tears and grabbed a shirt from my room, quickly slipping it on over my head before answering the door. My dad nodded to me.

"I'll let you handle that..."

I sighed..."Thank's dad... for... Everything..."

"Always Son... Always..." He said as he wheeled himself into his room and slowly closed the door behind him.

I opened the front door to see Sam standing there. A grim look on his face. His eyes locking with mine for a moment before he spoke...

"Jake I... I..." He stopped and seem to lose what he was going to say... "You're my brother... one of my own... If I thought Bella had been forced into the marriage ... I would have helped you take her away from him today Jake, You know we have your back."

I stared at him, seeing the pain in his eyes. Pain that was my own.

I nodded to him because I knew he spoke the truth. I knew they would have helped me if she hadn't made the choice willingly herself.

I opened the door wider for him and gestured that he come in. He stepped through the door and looked around for Billy.

"He just went to bed." I informed him. Sam leaned against the door, crossing his arms acrossed his chest, and sighing heavily.

"I wish things were different... cause we'd fight them... even though they helped us with the newborns doesn't mean were all friends now. We keep the peace... that's it... Seth seems to like Edward, but I don't hold the same regard for him."

"Ya... I hold no regard." I spat the words out like venom... "He's cold... lifeless... and just stole my everything from me."

I sat back down on the couch and swallowed hard. I wasn't going to show Sam how much this hurt me. It was a pride thing. Although I was pretty damn sure he already knew.

"I agree with you that he shouldn't be attempting such fate with her still human... it's insane!" He said sitting next to me. "They have no control..." He trailed off as I shot him a look, that begged him to stop talking about it. The images in my head were enough to make me throw up as it was.

Images of Bella being bitten and screaming out in agonizing pain, with no one for miles and miles around to help her. His venom removing everything I loved about her... taking away Bells from me forever.

"Look if you need some time off from patroling..."

"NO..." I cut him off..."I'll be out first thing in the morning... may even pick up Paul's shift for the evening too..."

Sam nodded in understanding.

I needed to run right now. It was my only hope at all for keeping my sanity. I needed to focus on running, and focus on patrolling with the others. Tonight... well I'd just have to deal with the silence till dawn broke. Which was in four more hours. Seth and Jared were out with Leah. They would all be relieved of patrol at six. Than I'd take over with Sam, Quil, and Embry.

Sam stood and offered me his hand. I shook it and nodded to him as he left.

"See you in a few hours." He said over his shoulder before closing the front door.

Time seemed to tick away ever so slowly. Minute by minute... hour by hour... I took my phone off the table and looked at Bella's number for the fifth time, debating on calling her. I knew she would have her phone off, but I wanted to at least tell her I was sorry for upsetting her. The memory of her tears making the knot in my stomach grow. I hit the call button and sure enough it went straight o her voicemail...

"Hey ... This is Bella... Sorry I missed you. Leave me a message and I'll call you back. Thanks... "

I told her how sorry I was for everything and quickly ended the message when I felt my emotions start to get the best of me.

I laid down and tried to get some sleep. At about two in the morning I finally dozed off in my room.

I was awoken suddenly an hour later by a panicked feeling I could not describe. I shot up in bed, a wash of sweat. One thought came to my mind... one name... Bella.

I switched on my lamp and looked around. Nothing seemed to be out of order in the house.

I listened closely and could hear my fathers faint snoring coming from his room down the hall. I ran my hands through my hair in frustration, looking all around once more. What the hell is this? I couldn't shake the feeling... My heart was racing, as I got out of bed, pulling on my jeans and grabbing my phone. There was no new message or missed call.

I sighed and tossed my phone on the bed. This is ridicilous. Like she was going to call me back right now.

I grabbed new clothes and went into the bathroom to take a long hot shower, thinking that would help shake the feeling but it didn't.

After I dressed, and brushed my teeth, I glanced at the clock on the kitchen stove. It was only 4:45 in the morning.

The feeling was getting worse and worse. I paced back and forth in the kitchen, practically wearing a hole threw the floor. This was fucking insane. My patience wearing out by now, as I stopped and looked up at the fridge, seeing a picture of Bella and I at First Beach six months ago. I stared at it and the feeling intensified. Her words coming back to me from the reception: "It will be just like anyone ele's honeymoon..."

I closed my eyes and opened myself up to the feeling. I didn't know what the hell this was, or if it was just the stress taking a toll on me but I had to listen to my instincts. I tried to focus, but my thoughts were all mixed and giving me a massive headache in the process.

"Jake" I heard my dad's voice come from behind me, as I turned around to see him dressed for the day and looking up at me. "Couldn't Sleep?"

"I have a feeling..." I told him. He wheeled closer to me.

"What kind of feeling? Is that what woke you?" He asked.

"Yea... I can't shake it... it's strong dad..."

He nodded to me as if he understood.

"Sometimes the wolf can sense something that we alone can't when one we love is in danger and away from us. Have you heard from her at all?"

I shook my head, sitting down at the table. My dad pouring me and himself a cup of coffee and wheeling it over to me. "Here... it's nearly dawn and you'll be patrolling soon... Maybe you will be able to connect to this feeling better as your wolf?"

I pondered this for a bit. What he said did make sense. "Yeah... Maybe."

I talked with him until it was time for me to meet Sam. "I'll be back later tonight dad." I said, patting him on the shoulder, and heading out the front door into the wet morning we were having.

Rain poured down on me as I ran into the woods. I stripped and tied my jeans around my ankle before letting the heat consume me whole and phasing, taking off into the woods on all fours. My paws pounding the wet forest ground beneath me, as I ran. I was almost to Sam when Suddenly Bella's voice came into my mind.

"Jake..." It whispered brokenly to me.

I faltered my pace immediately. The sound was so real, so clear, that I stopped in my tracks and looked all around me, half expecting her to be right there with me.

"Jake..."

I heard it again and whipped my head around once more, searching for her. Was I losing my shit here? Was this all in my fucking head? This must be what crazy feels like. I had finally toppled over the thin line of crazy I had been walking now for months. I huffed and continued on to Sam.

He entered my mind: "Ready for today?"

"Yeah..." I replied to him. Wondering if he could sense the feeling. We were all connected, so it only made sense that he would be able to. I stopped next to him and we waited there for Quil and Embry to show up. Minutes passed and the feeling remained the same.

"Something wrong?" Sam asked, once again, entering my thoughts. I showed him my worry and what feeling had awoken me last night. He huffed in response.

"I get feelings like that about Emily..." He replied, his dark wold eyes locking on mine.

"But she's your imprint Sam!" I snapped back at him. "Of course you're connected to her."

"Yes... But Bella means a lot to you, Jacob. The wolf in us tunes into these things as well..." He trailed off when I thought back to Bella's reception. Letting him see what she had said when she ran to me before I phased. He saw me beg her to change her mind... "He could hurt you... Really hurt you... please... please wait till you're changed..."

Sam whined uneasily and I snapped my head back in his direction, as I saw the fear flash his eyes, seeing that it now reflected my own. I huffed in frustration.

"We have to wait... there's nothing else we can do..." Sam said with a nod to me, as I shook my head vigorously, trying to rid the feeling. This was torture... pure Hell... I didn't want my mind to go there, but it did anyway. Images of Bella screaming in agony as he bit her, now raced frantically through my mind, giving Sam a front row seat to the hell I'd been in for hours now. Sam whined and paced uneasily in front of me.

Quil and Embry suddenly burst through the clearing and were now with us. They stopped when they saw the look in Sam's eyes, glancing between us...

"What... What's going on?" Quil asked.

I showed them in my mind as well. Letting my thoughts play it out for them like a movie. Whines escaped from both of them.

"Can we go to her?" Quil asked, digging his paws into the ground beneath us.

"No!" Sam firmly ordered. "We wait..."

"What if we're too late..." Quil replied. A sense of dread in his tone.

My heart ached at his words. I knew he had a point, but there was nothing I could do until she returned... if she returned...

I certainly couldn't go against Sam's direct order.

"We will have to wait till she returns home to Charlie." Sam replied. His eyes falling on me. "I'm sorry Jake... But it has to be this way..."

I nodded and we all set out running the border for Patrol.

I stayed out all day. Taking Paul's shift as well. I didn't want to be alone at home with just my thoughts to keep me company. That would be too much to take. The day quickly turned into late evening. It was just Sam and I now. The others had gone home and midnight was fast approaching.

We hadn't picked up on any new trails, it was eerily quiet and the feeling about Bella was as strong as ever now. I could barely focus on the trail. Finally dawn approached and Sam and I parted ways. Leah and Seth were taking over until noon.

I ran back home and jumped in the shower, changed into clean clothes, and checked my phone again. Still nothing. No new messages or calls from Bella. I couldn't just sit idly by and wait for something to happen. I had to stay busy.

I went out to the garage and started ripping apart an old Bike engine that Quil had asked me to replace a few weeks ago. I'd had so many things on my mind lately, that I hadn't taken to time to do anything with it. I worked on the bike all day. Elbow deep in grease, taking out my frustration the only way I could for now. Before I knew it, the skies began to darken and nightfall came once again.

"Hey..." A voice came from behind me. Startling me. I raised my head up and saw Seth standing there. I sighed and tossed my wrench to the ground.

"Hey..." I replied to him, grabbing a rag and wiping off my hand,s as I walked over to him.

"You alright?" He asked.

Seth was a good kid. The youngest one to phase so far. He had become like a brother to me already. He seemed to take a liking to me pretty quick.

"Yeah... Yeah... I'm fine. Pick up on anything today?"

"Nope... nada..." He replied, as I tossed him a soda and opened one myself.

"Thanks..." He said, catching it quickly with a chuckle.

I nodded, as he walked over to my work bench, looking closely at the picture of Bella and I on the wall there. "Hey... This is a great picture Jake!"

I shuffled my feet and tried to keep myself together. Seth took notice and immediately back peddled.

"Oh... Hey.. Jake... I'm... sorry..."

"No... No it's okay Seth. Don't worry about it..." I replied, grabbing the wrench, and crouching back down next to the bike to finish the job.

He nodded, giving me half a smile.

"She may still change her mind you know..." He said, a hopeful tone in his voice.

I shook my head..."No... She made her choice ... She married him ... "

"Ya... but... It's not very hard to see what the two of you have is special... I mean everyone see's it... feels it when they're around you two..."

I lifted my head at his words, glancing up at him..."Everyone?"

Seth nodded to me. "When you were hurt in the newborn Battle and we were all standing outside your house while Carlisle had to... rebreak your bones... She came running up to the house, barely had her truck in park before she jumped out of it. When she heard you screaming... She almost dropped to her knees right where she was. The look on her face..." He trailed off when he saw my expression. I could imagine her. Eyes full of tears...

I stood up, throwing my wrench to the floor again.

"Look man... I wasn't trying to upset you... I just think this isn't the end for the two of you... There's something there..."

I ran my hands through my hair, turning my back to him in frustration. I didn't know what to say to him. I knew he was right. There was something there... There always had been. Even now when she was away from me, I could sense something was wrong.

"Maybe she will come to her senses... see what you have... never too late ya know..."

I sighed, turning around to face him... "Yeah I wish... She made her choice Bro... And it is too late. She married the leech remember?"

Seth nodded. "Just because she married him, doesn't mean her hearts only his..."

I shook my head. Memories of her running to me in the woods at her reception fresh on my mind. " Please... dont hate me..." Her voice coming back to me.

I knelt back down and got back to work on the bike. The silence giving Seth the hint to drop it.

"Well I better get back... mom will worry ya know how she is sometimes." He said as he waved to me with a light hearted chuckle.

"Okay... Thanks Seth... Catch up with ya later..." I replied, seeing him run off into the night.

I tried like hell to focus on the bike, but nothing worked. I was distracted. After a few more minutes... I gave up. My mind was racing with thoughts of her.

The first time I saw her when she moved back to Forks with Charlie... The walks on the beach... The movies and laughter we shared...Her red truck pulling up into my driveway in the pouring rain the day she came to see why I hadn't returned her calls. The look on her face when I told her we couldn't be friends anymore... How hard it was for me to not tell her what I was when I first joined the pack... Me running to save her from Paul in the back yard...How she felt in my arms... The newborn Battle and the Mountain... that kiss... Her wedding...

My head spun and my heart tore open as I threw another wrench to the far side of the garage wall, making a loud banging sound with the impact. Heat coursed through me, running with vigor down my spine.

It wasn't supposed to be this way. Every fiber in my being told me she was meant for me. That we were meant to face this world together.

I walked over to my work bench, leaning against it and trying to stop the tremors that were taking hold of me. I fucking hated this. I hated everything about it. It made my very skin crawl to think of her with him right now, and this feeling... This sick sense that she was in danger or worse, just kept growing as time passed. I felt sick to my stomach, as I looked up to see our picture right in front of me. She was beautiful with her smile lighting up her whole face.

I turned around, and shut off the flood lamp in the garage, before heading into the house, soon stopping in my tracks when I saw Charlie's cruiser pull up. I tried to walk away and hide myself back in the garage before he could spot me, but It was too late. He honked the horn and put the cruiser in park.

"Hey Jake." He said, getting out and walking toward me. I swallowed hard, as I turned to face him.

"Hey Charlie..." I replied, extending my hand to him. He shook his head and pulled me into a man hug.

"Where the hell have you been?"

I returned the hug and thought quickly, as to what to say to him as he released me, his eyes doing a once over. The cop in him checking for clues, as to what the hell I'd been up to. He had known me since I was just a boy. I knew he could see right through me when he wanted to. I took a step back...

"I... Just..." I stopped when he raised his hand to me in a silencing manor.

"You know what... it's ok Jake... You don't need to explain... I think I get it..."

I stared at him for a moment and just nodded, letting him make whatever assumption he wanted to.

He sighed and placed his hand on my shoulder...

"Look Jake... I know things have been... Hard... for you... with all this... with Bella... I hope you know that she... missed you... and she was really worried... Billy called me... told me you showed up at the reception to see her... I know that must have been hard for you, but trust me... I'm sure it meant the world to her."

"Yea... well ... it wasn't... just for her..." I trailed off, looking down at my feet for a moment.

"I know... I know." Charlie said with a sigh.

The feeling of worry I had intensified talking to Charlie...

"Have you heard from her at all?" I asked, hoping if he had this would be enough to put my mind at ease a bit.

"Nope..." He said in reply, shaking his head. "She did say that she would call me when they got to wherever the hell he was taking her for there honeymoon, but I figured she was too tired or something..." He said, a look of awkwardness on his face.

"Yea..." I breathed, staring past him at the trees. My heart telling me something different.

"Ya know... when she gets home in a few weeks, I'll be sure to tell her you'd like to hear from her... she may call you before then..."

"Yea.. Sure... Thanks Charlie..." I replied, a knot growing in the pit of my stomach at his lack of the truth. She may not be coming back... Charlie would be crushed and he sure as hell wouldn't be the only one.

"Alright well... Your dad and I are gonna watch the game and order some pizza... you wanna join?" He offered.

"Uh... Maybe later ... But thanks for the offer... I'm gonna go see Sam for a bit... Talk to you later Charlie..." I said as I got in my car, pretending I was going to drive there. He waved and I watched him head into the house, waiting till the door was fully closed before I got out of the car, and ran into the woods. I stripped and phased, running through the dense forest, not choosing which direction to go. I just went along with wherever my legs pulled me to. I never had any real intentions of going to Sam's. That was an excuse for Charlie. Suddenly my thoughts were no longer my own...

"Jake! We need your help!" Exclaimed Paul, ripping me harshly away from my previous thoughts of Bella.

"Ya Man! Get your ass to Sam's. It's important." Added Quil.

I could hear frantic chaos in my head as they faded out. A new voice... Two new voices... Younger one's weaved there thoughts with mine. I stopped in my dead run and turned around immediately heading at full speed for Sam's house. I knew what this was...

I was in Sam's back yard in under ten minutes. Chaos was all around. Sam was standing in front of Brady and his younger brother Collin. They both looked terrified. Utter confusion were spread throughout there thoughts. Brady the worse of the two. He was almost hysterical. Paul paced nervously back and Forth in front of Leah and Seth. Trying to protect them in case one of them lost it. Which from the sounds was pretty damn likely.

"Calm Down... Both of you need to get it together." Sam ordered.

I stepped in and stood in front of Brady. His terrified wolf eyes locking with mine. He backed away from me, looking to be frightened. I was twice his size.

"Hey... I know this is scary as hell for you right now... trust me... I get it... But it is real, and no one here would ever hurt you. We're all family in this pack. You can trust us. We'll help you understand all this." I thought to him, taking a few cautionary steps toward him. He kept his eyes on me, and his thoughts begin to calm down. They became less frantic.

Sam had seemed to accomplish the same with Colin. The wining ceased and they both relaxed. My head was nearly splitting from the chaos. So I was thankful for the relief when it came. There Mother however was not so easy to calm. She was screaming and crying to Emily inside. Her tears gut wrenching. Like she was losing her sons... in a way... she was...

"Come with me..." I thought to Colin and Brady, stepping right in front of them and nudging them both..."Come on..."

They hesitated at first, looking back to the house and reluctant to leave there mom in the state she was in. "Sam and Emily will help her... She'll be okay." I promised them as we took off into the woods. "Stay with me." I told them both.

I had to slow down my usual pace to be sure I didn't lose them. That was the last thing we needed right now. Having them get lost and wandering around the town, scaring the shit out of everyone. We ran to the Lumber Yard in Forks and stopped there so they could take a rest.

I spent the next two days out on full patrol with them. Sam and I, along with Paul, all explained to them what we were. We told them everything and then some, and ran drills with them, helping them phase in and out. They took to it rather quickly and caught on smoothly.

By the end of the second day I was beyond exhausted. Sam thanked me for my help and ordered me to go home and get some rest. I was dead on my feet and needed it. So I willingly went with no protest straight home. I phased quickly in the back yard and ran into my house. It was night fall, and the house was empty. My dad had left me a note next to a fresh pot of coffee...

Son,

Went to Charlie's for the game. Having dinner there.

Help yourself to left overs in the fridge.

No need to wait up. I have my house key. See you sometime Tomorrow.

Love,

Dad...

I placed the note back down and looked at the clock. It was almost Eight-Thirty. I jumped in the shower, and got cleaned up. Throwing on some clean jeans and grabbing myself some dinner. I barely finished the left over spaghetti before I couldn't keep my eyes open any longer. I set my plate in the sink, noticing for the first time how clean the house was. It was damn near spotless... Sue must have been by earlier. A wave of guilt hit me. It tore me up not to be here if dad needed me. It always seemed that there was never enough hours in the day... I would have to thank her later.

I went to my room and chuckled when I saw she cleaned that, too. I was thankful to throw myself down on a set of clean sheets to sleep on. I was out in minutes.

It wasn't until hours later, that I awoke to my phone ringing over and over again. I groaned and threw my pillow over my face, not wanting to move. The phone finally stopped ringing, only to start again in seconds.

"Damn it..." I breathed, as I got my ass out of bed and opened the top drawer to my dresser where my phone was. It was Embry calling... At seven in the morning... I answered it quickly thinking that something had gone wrong with Collin and Brady.

"Hello..." I said hurriedly into the phone.

"Hey man... where the hell you been... I have tried calling you like ten times now."

"Sleeping... I was sleeping." I replied in a clipped tone.

"Oh... Sorry man... Listen I uh... I..." He paused, as I had an instantly sick feeling come on all of a sudden... Maybe his call had nothing to do with the pack... Maybe he had heard something about Bells.

I gripped my dresser for support. Waiting for him to say the words that would tear my very fucking world apart.

"Just... Tell .. me..." I said to him. Surprised at the sound of my own voice.

"Jake I...(sigh)...The other day... I was in town and uh... ( another sigh )..."

I ran my hand through my hair, sitting down on my bed. Clinging to his every word like a damn lifeline. Spit it out already for shits sake! I was losing it and fast.

"You know what... um... I'm sorry I called you so early... you've been out for two days with Sam... I'll let you get back to sleep Bro... Sorry... We can... Talk Later..."

"Emb..." Click...

I looked down at my phone to see he had ended the call. What the fuck... I immediately tried calling him back but it went straight to voicemail... "Hey... ya reached Embry. Leave me a message..."

I hung up and felt my anger start to grow. Did he really think this was the best way to fucking tell me? Really!

I grabbed some clothes from my dresser and practically ran to the bathroom for a shower. My dad wasn't even up yet.

I hurried in the bathroom and was ready in no time. I had just started putting on my leather jacket when my dad came out of his room.

"Headed somewhere already?" He questioned me, with one eyebrow raised. I looked at him to see a look of guilt cross his face. He knew... They all must know. A sinking feeling hit me than. She was gone... I shrugged into my jacket and grabbed the keys to my bike.

"I'm heading to Embry's for a bit... I'll be back later..." I said coldly to him, as I passed. I felt numb. He grabbed my arm and stopped me from walking by.

"Jake..." He said, his eyes meeting mine with a warning tone in his voice. That said it all.

I pulled my arm away from him and left without another word. I didn't think I could speak right now even if I tried. The rain poured in buckets, as I reached my garage and threw open the door. What stood there nearly knocked the wind out of me.

Bella...


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight Saga Series. Stephanie Meyer owns them all.

** CHAPTER 3**

She was standing in my garage, her back to me as I froze. My heart lodging itself into my throat. My hands shaking, and my head spinning all at once.

I took a shallow breath, inhaling her sweet lavender scent, that I had come to adore. She froze where she was, and I listened as her heart began to race. She knew that she was no longer alone. I forced myself to speak...

"Bells..."

She slowly turned around and faced me, locking eyes with mine.

"You're... You're back..." I breathed, barely able to form words, staring at her in disbelief. My eyes swept over her and my heart still racing, as I checked to see if she was okay. I didn't see anything wrong, or different.. physically. My eyes now settling on hers again. It was then that I saw the tears, as the familiar, dreaded, sinking feeling I'd had for days now ... returned.

She nodded slowly to me in reply. Not saying a word, as I took a few steps toward her, fighting the urge to just cross the garage and take her in my arms again. A battle raging within me. I fought it, keeping my eyes on her, and seeing her eyes do a once over of me. Almost as if she didn't know what to do with herself. I saw the confusion there.

She looked to the floor and shook her head. Still not speaking. There was fear in her eyes... Why though I wasn't sure. Was she afraid of me? No... that couldn't be it...

She suddenly made a dash for the side door of the garage, but I was quick, and reached her before she ran out.

She couldn't just leave things like this. There was no way in hell I was letting that happen. I placed myself in between her and the door, hearing her heart race frantically, as we stood there. She turned around quickly, wiping the few tears that had fallen, that she thought I had missed.

"Bells..." I said to her.

She wouldn't look at me and kept her back to me. I took a few more steps to her, slowly. Not knowing what the hell was going on with her. My mind playing out a hundred different scenarios, as I stood there, right behind her. Waiting for her to say something... anything. Seeing that she was shaking like a leaf.

I watched her wrap her arms around herself, noting that this was exactly what she used to do when Edward had left her before. To see her do it now, made me sick and fear the worst.

I slowly walked in front of her and placed my hands on her arms, gently pulling them away from her midsection and stepping closer to her, as she lifted her head and looked at me. My eyes locked with hers, seeing so much pain in her own, that I instictively closed the small distance between us and wrapped my arms around her.

I heard her gasp as I pressed her tightly to me. She was shaking from head to toe still. My mind beginning to really race .I had to focus hard to control the waves of heat that were spreading up and down my spine, imagining what had happened to her. She shuddered in my arms, as I held her.

"Bells... Tell me, honey..." I pleaded with her.

Several agonizing moments passed before she finally spoke..."You were right..." She whispered to me.

Visions of what her words meant came fresh to my mind. Intense heat coursed through me, trying to devour me. I fought it hard. I needed to get a grip for Bella. I could rip that leech apart later.

Bella felt my body go rigid, and she wrapped her arms around my neck, nestling her face in my shoulder.

"I'm sorry..." She gasped..."I'm so sorry..." She began to cry. Sobs pouring from her, and making my anger for Edward grow worse by the second, as I held her securely to me. Fighting the wolf within me not to lose control.

She cried for minutes on end. It ripped me apart to hear her like this.

"Bells... did he hurt you..." I asked her.

She slowly pulled away from me, frantically wiping away her tears. I caught her hand in mine.

"Bells..." I whispered to her, as she looked in my eyes. I looked her over again and felt my insides crawl when I noticed her choice of outfit...

Her eyes met mine again and pure fear reflected back at me.

A loud truck suddenly pulled up outside, causing Bella to remove her hand from mine, appearing ready to bolt.

I heard Embry laughing outside, and saw her open the side door again. I reached for her, pulling her flush to me and shutting the door in one movement. The last thing I wanted was for her to leave. Not now. Not ever.

"Wait here, Bells... Don't go... I'll be right back..." I said to her, keeping my voice, reaching my hand up and wiping away a tear running down her cheek with the backs of my fingers. She leaned her head into my hand and nodded.

I reluctantly pulled away from her, and went outside to deal with Embry and Paul. They saw my face and stopped where they were. All laughing now gone.

"Jake what's..." Paul started. But I cut him off.

"Shhh..." I silenced them both. "Not Now... Bella's here with me... You gotta go... I'm sorry but... I'll catch up with you later." I spoke in a harsh whisper to them.

Embry stepped closer to me..."That's what I was trying to tell you this morning... She's been back for a few days bro... Came to my house looking for you... I would have told you but she seemed pretty upset and wanted me to keep my mouth shut about it."

"What! " I snapped at Embry. He took a step back and tossed his hands up in mock surrender.

"What the hell was I supposed to do?" He said in his defense.

"It's fine... sorry..." I said, gesturing for them to go.

"She's back already!" Paul exclaimed, a little too loud for my liking. I punched him in the arm and that shut him up.

"Go...Please..." I asked sternly.

They waved and headed back for the truck. I watched as they left, and went immediately back in to Bella.

She startled when I opened the door, breathing a sigh of relief when I took her back in my arms.

"Where is he?" I asked her. My tone not hiding my anger... "Where's Cullen?"

"I don't know... He's... gone..."

I glanced down at her left hand to see his ring removed. I looked back up to her, unable to hide the shock on my face...

"It's over..." She breathed to me, her eyes set on mine.

She moved back away from me, turning around as She sighed and wrapped her arms back around herself. I moved closer to her. Wrapping my own arms around her, and resting my chin on her shoulder. I felt her shudder and listened to her heart slow a bit from my touch. I pressed my cheek to hers.

"I've got you, Bells. You're safe now." I whispered to her. I felt her relax into me as we stayed there. Her silent tears streaming one by one down her beautiful face. I was going to kill that leech for this. I'd rip him apart. I always knew he would hurt her in the end. It was my greatest fear.

Bella slowly turned in my arms after a few minutes had passed. "I can go if you need me to. I know you probably have patrol to run later..."

I wiped her tears away and shook my head.

"No... They'll understand." She nodded as I took her hand in mine... "Come inside with me?"

"Okay." She replied.

We walked hand in hand into the house and sat down together. Bella looked all around. Seeing Sue's hard work I'm sure. I chuckled and released her hand.

"Yeah... Sue's been here a lot... She's helping dad out..." I explained.

She simply nodded. A distant look in her eyes.

I had a million things I wanted to say and a million questions running through my mind all at once. I knew this wasn't the time. She was far from ready for any of them.

I let it be and wanted nothing more than to just be with her. I moved closer to her and took her hands in mine. She shot me a nervous, anticipating look. Like she feared what I would ask. I leaned us both back on the couch, wrapping my arm around her shoulder and bringing her close to my side. She laid her head on my shoulder and placed her hand on my chest. I kissed the top of her head and she soon relaxed into me.

We were silent as time passed. I was more than okay with that. Just to know she was here and safe with me was more than enough right now. I settled next to her as her heart stopped racing and her breathing evened out.

We sat there in comfortable silence until a loud knock came to my door and jumped Bella. She darted up off the couch and I stood up with her. Panic on her face. I took her hands in mine and noticed they were shaking.

The knock came again. Louder than the first time.

"I'll be right back..." I said to her. Sitting her back on the couch and going to the door. Man... whoever the hell it was had horrible damn timing. I whipped open the door to see an irritated Sam standing there. His eyes wild and his arms crossed over his chest. I was in no mood for this shit right now.

"What..." I said to him. My voice strained and clipped.

"What?" He asked in an irritated tone... "Don't give me a 'what' Jake! When the hell did you plan on telling me Bella was back and that something clearly went wrong..."

I silenced him by grabbing his arm and towing him out of the doorway so Bella wouldn't hear and become upset.

"Would you shut up..." I said harshly to him. He eyed me, anger speading across his face.

"Jake..." He warned.

"I was going to tell you... but I haven't had the time... I assume Embry must have..."

"Yeah He did... He told me she came to his house a few days ago a wreck Jake and now she's here with you. He says she's a mess..."

"Something happened... I don't know what... but I have a damn good idea..." I trailed off, snapping my head up and looking at Sam. His eyes grew wide as he nodded in understanding.

"Is she..." He began..."Okay... I mean..." He paused, an aggrevated look on his face.

"I don't know everything ... She's not ready to talk about it and there's no way in hell I'm going to push her to. When she's ready she'll tell me... and I'll talk to you more...Not until."

Sam reluctantly nodded. "Ok... we'll handle things for tonight and I'll check in with you tomorrow..."

"Yea..." I replied as he walked off and went back into the woods. I heard a loud howl echo across the trees as I went back inside.

I walked in to stop in my tracks when I saw Bella now standing and putting on her jacket... She was leaving. My mind went blank and my heart tore...

She paused when she saw me... "Jake..."

"You're leaving...?" I whispered to her.

She looked into my eyes and seemed to be torn over staying. She then removed her jacket, laying it on the couch. I swallowed hard and felt relief to know she wasn't running away again. I stepped closer to her, reaching my hand up and touching her face for a moment. I had so many questions I wanted to ask her. My mind was constantly playing out the worst possible scenarios of what had happened... How that leech had hurt her. I fought the urge to ask and waited instead. She sighed and sat back down on the couch, seeming to sense what was on my mind. That last thing I wanted her to feel was that I was in some way pressuring her to talk to me when she wasn't ready.

I knelt in front of her. Taking her hands back in mine.

"It's okay..." I breathed to her... "When you're ready..."

She sighed in relief and nodded to me.

"Are you hungry... Thirsty?" I offered to her. She shook her head and glanced at the clock on the wall. I hated to see her like this. I would do just about anything to take her pain away.

"Come here, Bells." I said softly to her. Standing up and bringing her into my arms ... "You know you can tell me anything... Right? ..."

She fell silent again. Not saying anything, but her racing heart said it all to me. I pulled back and looked at her, noticing she was exhausted... "You look beat, honey..."

"Yea... Yeah I am... Haven't really had much sleep lately..." She replied in a low tone.

"You can lay down for a while." I offered. She needed to sleep, forget about things for a while.

We walked down the hall to my room, where I was gonna let her crash when she suddenly stopped and pulled her hand quickly out of mine. I turned to look at her. She wouldn't meet my gaze as she spun around and ran her hand through her hair. Her heart was beating like a jack hammer.

"Bells... Bella..." I said to her.

She gasped and wrapped her arms around herself again. I instictively wrapped my arms around her from behind, just as she spun around, pressing herself to me.

"Bells... Honey..."

Her eyes met mine, intense fear in them. I could see how terrified she was as she tried to say something but couldn't. Tears ran down her face, making me hurt for her. She finally spoke after her breathing returned to normal.

"Jake ... I"m sorry... I... I..."

"Don't be... it's okay..." I replied. I didn't want her feeling sorry about anything.

She looked up at me. Embarrassment crossing her face as I took her hand in mine and walked us back out to the living room.

She sat on the couch as I grabbed a spare blanket from the closet and covered her with it as she laid down there.

"Here..." I said to her. Covering her up. I sat down on the floor next to her. Leaning my back against the couch. Silence surrounded us, my thoughts racing a mile a minute.

I wanted to kill that leech for this. I stopped my thoughts when I felt Bella's fingertips run through my hair. The gesture sent chills down my spine. I closed my eyes and listened to her heart beat. She went to pull her hand away but I reached up, catching it in mine and lacing our fingers together as she sighed and closed her eyes.

"Sleep Honey... you can stay as long as you want." I whispered to her before she finally fell asleep.

I sat there with her hand in mine for over an hour while she slept. The silence deafening.

Images of Edward hurting her ran through my head like a damn dvd on replay. I had to take a few deep breaths to reign in my anger. Heat was now radiating down my spine. I wanted to find him and make him suffer for what he'd done to her.

I heard a low howl rip across the yard and shook my head. I knew it was Sam and I knew he needed answers. I slowly took my hand away from Bella's and got up quietly... she looked so peaceful. I wasn't willing to wake her for anything. She'd been through hell the last few days.

I went outside, closing the front door as quietly as possible as I ran into the woods and stripped, tying my clothes to my ankle cord and phasing. I was pissed enough at Edward that it was effortless to transform.

Sam and Paul met me there.

"I need to know that there's no threat..." Sams thoughts coming into my head.

"There isn't -..." I started. Sam cut me off, taking a step to me.

"You don't know that Jake... The whole damn thing sounds off to me. Where the hell is Cullen anyway? He is just gone? I'm supposed to believe that?" He snorted in sarcasm.

My anger began to flare up.

"Are you calling Bella a liar?" I asked, my tone feral with him.

"He wouldn't just disappear for shit's sake. What happened!" Sam barked out.

"I don't know yet. And while I have a damn good idea, I'm not pushing her to tell me Sam!" I spit back at him.

"How do you expect me to lead us when I don't know what the hell is going on? If Cullen has lost it, and changed over to join the other Red eyes... That put's us all at a huge risk Jacob!" He lashed out, nudging into me.

I was pissed. I didn't give a shit about Cullen. My biggest concern was Bella right now.

"He's gone... for good. It shouldn't come as a shock... it's what he did before. It's what he always does... He runs... remember? I say good fucking riddens... If he values his own life... he won't ever come back..."

"Jake... I..." Sam went on to say when we all stopped as a terrified scream came from my house, piercing the night air around us.

I whipped my head back..."Bella..."

I ran back out of the woods and phased, pulling on my shorts as fast as I could and sprinting for the front door. Her screams grew louder and more terrified the closer I got.

"No... No Edward Stop...STOP!" I heard her scream over and over.

I bolted over the steps and burst through the door. Expecting to find him in there with her and ready to end his miserable existence. Instead, what I found was Bella having a nightmare.

"Hey... You're okay Bells... You're okay Honey..." I said rushing to her. The screaming had stopped. She bolted upright before throwing her arms around me, gasping and shaking all over as I held her to me, wishing there was more I could do. She took another breath and pulled back away from me. Wiping her tears away frantically.

"I'm sorry Bells... I had to go out and see Sam and Paul for a bit... I stayed close to the house so I could still hear you. I phased back and ran straight here when I heard you screaming." I told her, tucking her hair behind her ear.

Her eyes roamed down my body, taking in the fact that I was Shirtless. She sucked in a shaky breath and looked uneasy. I got up and grabbed a T- Shirt from my room, pulling it on over my head as I sat back down with her. I wanted to hold her. I wanted to fix all this.

"What time is it " She asked.

"It's midnight..."

"Oh... Oh No! Charlie must be worried out of his mind for not checking in!" She rushed from the couch to my kitchen, frantically looking for the phone. Little did she know I had already called her father a while ago.

"Bells it's fine ... I already called him and told him you fell asleep here. He said to call him when you head home in the morning. It worked out okay cause my dads still at your place." I explained to her. She looked relieved, setting her cell phone back on the table.

Thanks Jake..." She said, offering me half a smile. I returned it, but knew it was forced for her.

"I... Didn't mean to interupt patrol with Sam..."

I smiled at her. "It's okay... No big deal. I'll talk to him later."

"I'm sure you're tired..." The last thing on my mind was sleep. I had too much running through it to even try to sleep.

"No... I'm ok..." I replied.

"Thanks for letting me stay here..."

"You know you're welcome here anytime..." I told her.

She seemed nervous. I approached her and took her hand in mine. "Come sit with me?"

We sat down and She drew close into my side as I wrapped my arm around her. I closed my eyes, wishing for the hundredth time that I could take her pain away.

"I should have listened to you..." She began as I tightened my arms around her, bracing myself for what I feared she was about to tell me.

"Everything that you said... All that you tried to warn me about... Came true..." She said in a shaky tone. I closed my eyes and tried like hell to keep calm.

"I don't know why I thought I could... try to have a normal... honeymoon... it was beyond insane... I guess I just believed that he really loved me enough to be okay... That he couldn't hurt me because of that love... I was so stupid..."

I felt the tremors start from my core and spread outward. I balled my free hand into a fist as she continued. She stopped for a brief moment and laid her hand on top of mine. Sending a wave of calm over me just from her touch.

"I haven't told Charlie anything... although I think your dad knows... He seemed to know the night I returned without me having to say a word. I thought... maybe... he would have told you... But I understand why he didn't..." She fell silent, noticing my tremors start again. She glanced up at me just as I opened my eyes.

I reigned in my anger, focusing on her as I stroked her hand with my thumb so she would know to continue.

"I tried to stop him... I tried ... I... I begged him to stop..." She cried to me. I tightened my hand around hers. Vivid images of Bella screaming in pain and begging that monster to stop made my rage for him almost consume me whole.

"I guess in a way... it's my own fault... I should have listened..."

She stood up and wiped her tears away, taking her hand away from mine... "I should of known better..." She said, turning away and staring out the window.

I got up from the couch and took her hand back in mine, turning her back to face me as I pulled her into my arms, not saying anything. I didn't have words right now. The only thing I wanted to do was hold her and be there for her.

She buried her face into my chest and started sobbing. It ripped me in half to hear her cry like that and it made want to tear Edward to shreds.

After a while. I felt her lean on me. Her legs giving out as I scooped her up and carried her with me to the couch, placing her on my lap and wrapping a blanket around her. She caught her breath and laid her head on my shoulder. We sat there in silence as the many minutes passed. I listened to her breathing and her heart beat slow down as I glanced down to see her eyes closed. I tightened my arms around her, so she knew she was safe with me and rested my head on hers. She moved a bit closer to me as sleep took her.

I was so angry with Edward that I had to keep reminding myself to keep it together for Bella's sake. She needed me to be here for her and not run off to rip that bloodsucker apart. That would come later. I'd find him and I'd kill him for what he'd done to her. Not just once, but twice now he'd wrecked her like this. Left her after ruining her. I hated him with all that I was. I despised Edward fucking Cullen.

BELLA'S P.O.V

I awoke to hear laughter... Jacob's warm laughter coming from the kitchen. The auroma of Bacon and eggs cooking overwhelmed my senses as the sun hit my face and made me squint a little as I opened my eyes. I slowly sat up and looked around, seeing Billy sitting in the recliner with the morning paper in hand. He smiled warmly at me as I looked over at him.

"Well ... Good morning sleepy head." He said to me. Flashing me his wide grin along with a warm chuckle. I nodded to him and waved. A bit of color rushing to my normally pale cheeks.

I heard a loud bang come from the kitchen along with a few choice curse words..."Shit Paul... You're burning the damn bacon..." I laughed at Jacob's words and made a dash for the open bathroom while it was still free.

I was thankful to see I didn't look too bad despite my rough evening of tears.

I smoothed out my hair and freshened up before joining the others in the kitchen. Emily greeted me with a warm cup of coffee and a smile.

"Morning Bella." She said as she handed it to me.

"Thanks..." I replied to her.

Jacob had turned over the cooking duties to Emily, which was probably for the best and made his way over to me. None of them had shirts on. Paul,, Sam, Jacob and Quil were all wearing the usual cut off shorts, slung low on there hips.

Jacob greeted me with a warm embrace, taking the morning chill right out of me.

"Hey you..." He breathed to me. Still wrapped up in his arms.

"Hey..." I replied, wrapping my own arms around his neck and returning the embrace.

I caught Billy staring at us over his paper with a wide smile and shook my head. Jacob released me and grabbed his black sweatshirt off the back of one of the kitchen chairs. He pulled it on and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. I drew close to his side and felt truly comfortable for the first time in days.

It was not lost on me that jake had made the extra effort to make me feel as comfortable as possible by throwing on his sweatshirt instead of remaining shirtless like the others. I thought on that for a moment while sipping my coffee. It reminded me once again how very selfless he was, and how selfish I had been with him. I sighed and stared down into my coffee cup, guilt weighing heavily on me.

Jacob tightened his arm around me and glanced down as I peeked up at him and shrugged, letting him know I was fine.

We all ate and I watched as everyone went out of their way to make me feel welcome. Everything was going great right up until Leah and Seth showed up just as breakfast had finished.

I was clearing plates with Emily, trying to do something to help. When in burst Leah. Emily gave me an apologetic look before she even spoke.

"So... Decide to come back to hurt Jake some more huh..." She stated bitterly as she plopped herself down in an empty chair, grabbing a muffin on the way. I looked at her and could plainly see the dislike for me in her face. I didn't know what to say. Everyone in the room went silent. Emily gave Leah and stern look...

"Leah..." She warned.

"What! Oh come on. I mean... really... All she has to do is bat her pretty brown sad eyes and Jake's all mush again at her feet. It's pathetic! As if almost getting him killed last Spring wasn't enough for her. She has to come back now and really do him in." She spat out from across the table. Her eyes never leaving me. Every word was like a knife to the stomach. She spoke the truth and I knew it.

"Shut up Leah!" Jacob warned. His voiced strained with anger as he glared at her from across the table. I swallowed hard and handed the plates to Emily.

"Um..." I started, tucking my hair behind my ear..."Thanks... for... everything... I gotta go..." I said quickly to Jake as I grabbed my jacket and keys from the couch and quickly ran out of the house.

"Bells... Bella wait!" I heard Jacob call after me.

I had to go. I had to get out of there. I knew Leah could be cruel and despite her hatred for me, I held nothing against her for it. She had lost a lot... Sam, and her father, and part of herself when she joined the pack. I felt bad for her, and knew what a desperate place she was coming from. I knew it so well because I had been that broken myself before, and yet here I was again. Everything she said was truth... I had put Jake through hell and then some.

I ran across Jake's front yard and jumped into my truck. My hands were shaking as I started it and roared it to life. I backed up and saw Jacob come running out of his house as I sped off. I prayed that he wouldn't follow me despite the small voice in my heart that whispered..." He always will..." As I hit the highway.

I pushed my old truck to its limit and made it back home in no time. As I pulled into my driveway and cut off the engine the memories began to flood in. They cunsumed me as I sat there... Jacob pleading with me to listen to him. "He could really hurt you..." His words fresh in my head now. Leah's biting remarks..."As if almost getting him killed last spring wasn't enough for her... now she comes back to really do him in..."...

I closed my eyes and shuddered as the images of Jacob's body being crushed by that newborn in the battle came to my mind. His agonizing screams as Carlisle rebroke his bones so they would heal right.

I slowly opened my eyes and took my keys out of the ignition. I forced myself to get out of the truck and walked up to my front door. I was relieved to see that Charlie had already gone to work for the day. There was a note attatched to the door.

Bella,

See you tonight for dinner.

Call me at the station if you need anything.

I love you, kiddo.

Love, Dad.

I unlocked the door and went to push it open when a warm hand caught my arm.

I jumped a bit, and spun around to see Jake there. I hadn't even heard him come up behind me. He released my arm and his eyes met mine with the sincerest apology in them. I didn't know what to say.

"Bells I'm... I'm sorry... Leah's... well she's just Leah..."

I nodded and turned back around to open my door, gesturing for him to come in with me. He walked in and watched me closely as I hung up my coat.

"When I see her for patrol tonight... I'm gonna..." He started. anger evident in his tone.

No..." I said, stopping him with my hand in the air..."No... Don't... She's... right..."

Jacob strongly protested. "What... No... No she's not. She's cruel, and..."

"... And everything she said was the truth..." I finished for him, sitting down on the couch.

Jake went silent, as he sat down next to me." She's... bitter..." He stated, glancing down at his hands.

"I have no right to ask anything from you... Not after what I did... "

We both went silent. Jacob sighed and took my hand. "You know I'm here for you. Even if... things didn't go... the way I hoped they would..."

It occurred to me right then, that I had never said the one thing that I owed him a thousand times over.

"Jake I... I'm... sorry..." I blurted out. My cheeks rushing with heat as the words left me.

"Yea... Me too Bells... Me too..." He replied with sincerity. Taking his hand away from mine. He stood up and was about to leave for patrol. Just as he reached the door another thought hit me.

"You know what I thought of..." I started, as I stood up from the couch. He paused and slowly turned around to face me... "When... When I was on the island... terrified..."

I had his full attention as his eyes met mine...

"You..." I whispered. Feeling a wave of nerves invade me with my confession to him.

He stared at me, his expression a mix of emotions. I instantly regretted my blunt confession. He crossed the room, taking one step at a time.

"Bells... I had this... feeling... when you were gone..."

I snapped my head up. Feeling?

"I... couldn't place what it was, or what it meant but I had... this strong feeling that something was wrong with you... I should have followed that instinct... done something... I knew. I knew that he would..." He stopped when he saw the expression on my face.

"There was nothing you could have done. I should've listened."

Jacob stood in front of me, reaching his hand up to touch my face. "I wish you had..." He whispered to me as I leaned my cheek into his palm. Warmth spreading down my face and neck from his touch. I closed my eyes and relished in the warmth of him, in his woodsy, perfect scent that was just... Jacob.

"I missed you..." I breathed to him. It was the solid truth. I had missed this. Missed the simplicity of our relationship. I had made it anything but simple lately, and I was well aware of the anguish I'd caused him.

I opened my eyes to see him watching me intensely as he slowly removed his hand.

"I gotta go... Sam's gonna have my ass if I don't get a move on ya know..." He chuckled.

"Yea..." I sighed and nodded.

"I'll be back later? Maybe... watch a movie or something...?"

I saw the smile I loved So much return to his face.

"Yea... um... Charlie should be home from work around seven... I'll cook..." I replied, nervously tucking my hair behind my ear.

"Okay... See you later, Bells..." He chuckled, as he stepped out into the rain.

I stood there at my door, watching him as he dissapeared into the dense forest before slowly closed the door and listening as the rain beat down on my roof.

I made good use of my alone time, with housework. I wanted to keep busy. It made the time pass quicker and kept my mind too preoccupied for memories of my honeymoon from hell. Before I knew it, the house was spotless, laundry was done and put away, and it was nearly five o' clock.

I grabbed a fresh change of clothes and took a long hot shower. The warmth of the water relaxed my sore muscles. My bruises were angry looking to say the least. I tried not to look at them. As they were just constant physical reminders of Edward.

I dressed in a hurry and made a small list for the grocery store. I figured I would make Spaghetti and garlic bread for dinner. I would have to make sure I had enough to feed Jake's Hardy appetite. I chuckled as I thought of the ridiculous amounts of food that boy could put away, as I tucked the list in my pocket and threw on my jacket, making a mad run for my old truck. The rain had not let up, which made ttrying to avoid getting soaked nearly impossible.

The drive to the local super markey was long. Traffic was a bit dense even for a sleepy town like Forks. It was rush hour, everyone was on their way home from work. I sat at a red light for what seemed like an hour. My phone rang in my jacket pocket, startling me a bit. It was a number I did not recognize and was reluctant to answer it at first... probably some dumb telemarketer or something. I hit the answer button anyway...

"Hello..."

"Bella!" I heard the angelic, familiar sound of Alice's voice ring clear on the other end.

I stayed silent, not knowing what to say. A loud honk coming from the impatient truck driver behind me snapped me back into reality. I pressed my foot to the gas and lurched the truck ahead along with the long line of evening traffic before me.

"Hi..." I managed to mumble to Alice in reply.

"I know my calling may come as a surprise to you but I wanted to check in. See ... how you were... since..." She trailed off as the awkward silence now grew between us.

"Uh... yeah.. um... I'm... okay... Just driving at the moment... Look can I... Call you back later?" I knew it was a cold way to handle things. Truth was... I still loved Alice like a siter and always would but hearing her angelic voice right now only brought the stabbing pain in my heart back. My stomach turned and my head spun as I waited for her to reply.

"Yea... okay Bella... I guess I'll talk to you later... Bye..." She replied briefly.

Her tone said it all. She was hurt by my rejection and dismisal of her call. I knew somehow I would need to make things right with her when I was ready.

I placed the phone back in my pocket and proceeded my journey to the store. When I arrived and parked my old truck in the first space available, it was then that my mind began to torture me again. Hearing her familiar voice had been enough to drudge that dreaded feeling up again.

I sat there, Staring blankly out the rainy windshield, as the memories of me pleading with Edward to stop filled my head. I swallowed hard and forced myself out of the truck. I had to pull it together. The world wouldn't stop just because my heart had been shattered... again...

I ran into the supermarket and grabbed an empty available basket, glancing up at the clock on the wall. It was almost six. I needed to hurry and get back home or I would never have dinner ready in time. I walked in a speedy fashion from one aisle to the other, looking for what I needed.

Soon my basket was full with everything I needed for tonights dinner. The last thing on my list was garlic bread. I grabbed it and made my way to the checkout. Every line was long. I sighed and flipped aimlessly through the many gossip magazines that lined the check outs.

"Bella...?" The voice drifted from behind me. I turned around to see a smiling Seth. He waved and wandered over to me.

"Hey you..." I offered with half a smile to him in return.

He glanced down at my full basket and chuckled..."Cooking spaghetti tonight?" He asked in a cheerful tone. I smiled again and nodded to him.

"Based on the fact that you bought double of everything... I assume Jake's gonna be there too, right?"

"Yea... You would assume right..." I stated with a small laugh.

Seth was a great kid. I had always liked his attitude and charm. He often reminded me of a much younger Jacob.

He threw his arm around my shoulders then. Taking me a bit off guard. "Listen... uh... About my sister ... and what she said..."

"No..." I said, holding up my hand and stopping him from going any further. "Seth it's okay... Really... your don't owe me an apology. What she said was... "

"Mean..." Seth interjected with a long sigh and a shrug.

"Yea..." I agreed..."But it was true..."

Seth removed his arm and glanced down at me... The surprise evident on his young face.

I felt the warmth return to my cheeks as I glanced down at my full basket. Feeling my nerves once again take over and get the best of me.

"Jake's great... He's... one of a kind... and she was just looking out for one of her own.. can't really blame her for that. Isn't that what being in Sam's pack is all about?"

Seth shrugged again..."Yea... I guess... Don't get me wrong I do love my sister but she can be really rude and bitter sometimes... After everything happened with Sam... it all changed her. She never used to be like that. If you'd known her before ... I think you two may have even been friends."

Now it was my turn to look a bit shocked... Leah and I... Friends?

"Maybe..." I offered to him with a shrug of my own.

"Thing Is... You're right. Jake is one of a kind. Take it from one who knows... linked minds remember? " He stated with a confident smirk.

I chuckled and nodded to him. " Yea... "

"We should all be so lucky someday ya know..."

I glanced up at him. Not sure what he meant or where he was going with this. "Lucky?" I asked him.

"Yea..." He nodded, looking in my eyes with a more serious look then I'd ever seen him have before..." Lucky enough to have someone love us like that... the way Jake loves you..."

I stared up at him. Unable to not look at his face. I cleared my throat and was thankful to see I was next in line to check out. Seth sensed my mood change and switched topics.

"Here..." He offered with a light hearted chuckle. Reaching in the basket and placing the items on the conveyer belt. "Let me help ya with this stuff... it's the least I could do."

"Sure... Thanks." I replied, setting my now empty basket down and stepping up to pay the cashier. I smiled at her as she finished ringing me up. "$18.50 please dear." She said with a warm smile of her own to me.

I handed her the twenty and waited for my change. I thanked her and laughed to see Seth already waiting with bags in hand at the door. I shook my head. " You don't have to..." I started. but was silenced by his one eyebrow raised look.

"Come on, it's what we gentlemen do you know." He replied light heartedly.

That was one thing he sure was... a gentlemen. Sue should be proud of the boy she and Harry raised and I had a strong feeling that she was certainly proud enough for both of them now that Harry had passed away.

We ran to my truck and Seth placed the groceries in the passenger seat. He shut the door and waved to me, ready to head back into the woods behind the market. I stopped him.

"Hey wait..." I said. "You need A ride?" I offered.

After all he had helped me with my groceries. There was no reason he should have to run wolf form in the rain all the way back to the res when I could just drive him there as a thank you. He pondered it for a minute before giving me a nod. "Yeah... actually... that would be great Bella!"

He climbed in the truck and scooted the two bags of groceries over to the middle seat. I started the engine and couldn't help but notice him chuckle.

"What?" I asked in curiously.

"Sounds like your truck needs a tune up... When are ya gonna trade up anyway... this is ancient..."

"Hey... No dissing my truck or you'll be walking as a wet wolf back home." I teased as we pulled out of the parking lot.

He held his hands up with a chuckle. "Okay... Okay... Sorry... I'll shut up... I know I tease ya about it... but truth is... I think it's really sweet..."

He had completey lost me... "Sweet? What is?" I asked, as I continued to drive through town.

"Ya know ... That you hang on to the truck... cause Jake rebuilt it for you when you first moved back to Forks" He stated glancing over to me.

I looked away and stared out the windshield at the wet roads before me thinking about what he had just said.

"Yea... I uh... I guess I never really thought of it that way... till... now..." I admitted.

Seth smirked and shook his head. "He was so upset..." He stated in a soft tone, looking ahead at the road ..." After the reception... We were all really worried for him... Thought for sure he'd leave and never come back..."

Heavy guilt coursed through me at his words, as the painful memory of Jacob pleading with me to stay at my reception, was now fresh on my mind. We stopped at a red light. The silence lingering there between us in the truck.

Seth sighed..."For what it's worth... I am really sorry things didn't work out between you and Edward ... But... I'm really glad your back Bella... We all missed you!"

I smiled at him and stepped on the gas, as the light turned green ahead. "Thanks Seth... that means... a lot..."

We were on the highway and headed to the reservation shortly after. Seth filling me in on all the pack gossip, causing me to laugh so hard my cheeks hurt.

We arrived at his house in no time. Sue came to the door upon hearing my loud truck in her driveway. She gave me a smile and a wave as Seth got out.

Thanks again Bella!" He said as he waved.

"Anytime. Thanks for helping me with my groceries..." I replied with a smile.

He returned my smile before closing the door and running up the small steps into his home. I watched as Sue hugged him and smiled at him before closing the house door.

I made a mad dash back to Forks. My time was running out to get dinner started.

By the time I got home it was already after Six - Thirty. I quickly got busy and started cooking the spaghetti. Luckily Jacob and Billy were late, as was Charlie. Which bought me an extra 20 mins. I was just fixing their plates and setting the table when Charlie came in.

"Hey Bella." He greeted me after hanging up his jacket. "Dinner looks great honey..." He said kissing me on the cheek and sitting down at the table. "Jake and Billy are right behind me. Saw them a few cars back from me on the way home."

He no more than said it and there was a knock at the door. I handed Charlie a cold beer from the fridge and went to let them in. I ran to the door, throwing it open in a hurry to let them in out of the cold rain. I wasn't expecting what was before me. Jacob stood there with a wide smile, wearing a red and black checkered flannel and dark denim jeans. His shirt was tucked in and he even wore a black leather belt. I stammered a bit in response...

"Hi... Um... Hi..." I said, as he wheeled Billy in through the front door.

"We brought soda..." Billy said, offering them to me. I thanked him and took them into the kitchen. My cheeks were warm with a blush as I poured the soda on ice and handed them to Jake and Billy.

Billy wheeled up next to Charlie, as Jacob wrapped one arm around me, pulling me into a half hug. "Dinner looks great Bells." He said with a genuine smile.

"Thanks..." I replied. Barely able to focus. I looked at him, seeing his handsome face, adorned with a set of porceline white teeth. He really was beautiful...

Once again, I had realized how much I had taken his friendship for granted.

I served everyon, and then joined them to eat. It was really nice to be back home and surrounded with those I cared so much for.

Billy and charlie got on their usual sports talk. Betting twenty bucks on who would win the next Mariners Game this weekend. Jacob joined in placing his own twenty - dollar wager on the opposing team. Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves, me included.

Once dinner was finished, I began to gather the plates and piled them into the sink to be washed. After wiping down the table. I started doing the dishes. Jacob came up from behind me and reached his hand into the soapy water, placing it on top of mine.

"Here... Go sit Bells. Relax... after all you cooked. I can get these..." He offered.

"No.. it's okay... I..." I began but stopped when I saw Jacobs eyebrow raise.

"Come on..." He insisted, taking the dish rag and plate from me. " It's the least I can do..."

"Well... okay... you wash and I'll dry... its this thing... ya know... called compromise..." I teased him with a smile as I grabbed the dish towel from the stove and waited for him to finish washing the first of many plates.

Jacob chuckled and handed me the wet plate.

"Okay. Deal..."

I dried each plate and watched him wash them. My mind wondering to a place I wasn't prepared for... A place that imagined Jake and I in our own home one day. Washing dishes together after dinner at night.

I put the last plate away and shook my head, trying to shake the thought but no matter how hard I tried, the thoughts stayed there. Soon thoughts of marriage came to me, and with those thought of course came thoughts of Edward, and the horror show that was my honeymoon.

I remained silent and dried the counter off just as Jake handed me the last cup. I put it away and hung up the towel. "Thanks..." I said to him. He nodded and wiped off his hands, his eyes on mine.

I looked down quickly, feeling a bit self-conscious. Like he could read my thoughts or something. I knew that was ridiculous and impossible, but sometimes it felt as though he could see right through me. Like he knew me better then I even knew myself. I reached up and pulled up my turtleneck sweater a bit, always fearing I would forget and someone would see. It would be a few more weeks before the many bruises were faded enough to ditch the turtle neck sweaters.

"You wanna...go for a walk?" Jake suddenly offered. I looked up and glanced out the kitchen window, seeing that the sun was starting to set before glancing back to Jake. His eyes met mine as I nodded quickly to him. He took my jacket off the coat hanger and held it out for me.

"Where you kids headed?" Asked Charlie who was comfortable on the couch with another beer in his hand and Billy next to him.

"Just out for a walk... Be back soon..." I told him, leaning down and kissing Charlie on the cheek.

Billy smiled at me. "Thank you for Dinner hun. It was great..."

"You're welcome... anytime Billy." I replied to him with a smile as Jacob finished slipping on his jacket.

"Hey now... it's getting dark out there soon... be careful okay? Jake.. take care of her please..." Charlie added as I opened the front door.

I could feel the heat in my cheeks, giving away an embarrassing blush.

"Always..." Jacob replied to Charlie, sincerity raw in his tone. I glanced over to him, meeting his stare for a brief moment before leaving the house.

We walked out back and headed for the woods on a familiar well beaten path I had walked many times before as a child.

It was quiet except for the low howl of the light wind that would whip around us every now and then. I zipped up my jacket a little further, placing my hands in my pockets. There was so much I wanted to tell him and yet so much I was afraid to tell him.

"Thanks for having us over for dinner. We've missed that..." Jake finally spoke.

I glanced over to him. "I've missed it too..."

"We've been pretty lucky lately... To have Sue around... I have thanked her a hundred times for being there for dad when I ... left..." He finished in a whisper and glanced over to me. I bit my bottom lip and thought back to the many weeks of sleepsless nights I had because of how worried I was for him.

"I was so worried for you... I think I drove poor Seth crazy... constantly calling and checking in to see if you were home... or if anyone had even heard from you." I admitted.

Jake stopped and turned suddenly to face me.

"I shouldn't of..." He started, guilt in his eyes. I shook my head in protest. Effectively stopping him. He certainly had nothing to feel sorry about.

"No... No Jake ... You have no reason to feel guilty... or to be sorry... Truth is... When I found out Alice had sent you an invitation to the wedding, I was furious with her. I knew she wasn't thinking, and I knew how much that would hurt you. I hated that there was nothing I could do to fix it... By the time I found out... you were already gone."

I sighed and glanced up at him as he shook his head... "Still doesn't excuse me just... taking off... "

I nodded as we slowly started walking again. The dark now upon us. The moon began to peak out from the clouds. It had been a long time since I had been out in the woods after dark. Vivid memories of me laying on the cold ground for hours after Edward had left before began to cloud my mind as we walked along the path.

"You came back though..." I whispered. Trying to stop my thoughts from running wild with memories. Thoughts of that time brought back thoughts of Edward... of my wedding...

I sucked in a shaky breath and continued walking along with Jacob. Ignoring my feeling of a panic attack coming on.

"I couldn't stay away... hurt you like that..." He whispered in reply.

I nodded. "Thank you... for... coming back..." I said, taking my left hand out of my jacket pocket and reaching down for Jake's. He felt my hand brush up against his and laced our fingers together. Slowly rubbing circles across the top of my hand with his thumb in a soothing manner.

I stopped where we were. Feeling like I was being pulled in two different directions. I could feel his warm brown eyes on me as he stopped next to me. I took a deep breath ...

"What you said... at my reception that night..." I began, as I lifted my head to see him.

Jake took a step closer to me with a nod. His eyes searching mine in the moonlight all around us. I stared up at him for a long moment. At the boy who had now turned into a man ... The same Boy that I had known since were were kids. The person who knew me best. The person who made me feel safe even when my world was shattering around me... I looked up at him and knew I could tell him anything... everything...

"I... knew better..." I paused as I watched his expression. He nodded slowly and took another step closer to me.

We were standing face to face. Alone in the woods. Surely I could find the courage now of all times, with no one around but the two of us, to bare my soul to him. I couldn't go on lying to him... I just couldn't.

"When we..." I took another deep breath before continuing..."When we got to the Island... that's where he took me... it was... a wedding present from Carlisle and Esme... Everything seemed fine. Things were... going the way I had always thought they would...But..." I paused, feeling my nerves get the best of me and choking me. I swallowed hard and continued anyway... " something changed... in him... I tried to snap him out of it... It was like looking at a completely different person... A monster... A monster with no control... "

I looked up from the ground into Jacobs eyes...

"Maybe... I deserved it... after all... you tried to warn me... I should've listened... I would give anything to go back..."

Jacob pulled me to him. "No... Don't say that honey... I should have followed you... done something... anything..."

I pulled back and looked up at him. "I pushed you away Jake... you tried..."

"Not hard enough..." He breathed, looking down at me... "I knew there was Something wrong... I could feel it Bella... When Embry called me... I really thought it was over, that you were changed... forever. "

I knew he would blame himself and that was the last thing I wanted him to do.

"I should have known better than to think that he wouldn't ... lose control with me... He warned me many times before. I was foolish not to listen."

The wind began to really whip around us. I shivered a bit from it as Jacob tucked me under his arm. "We can head back ..." He offered.

"No..." I shook my head... "I like it out here... with you..." I replied, glancing up at him through my lashes.

I tried to choose my words carefully. Not wanting him to get the wrong Idea. He smiled down at me and we continued on our way down the path.

"Im sorry I wasn't there... to protect you..." Jacob said with a heavy sigh.

I squeezed his hand in mine. "It's not your fault... it's mine..."

"No it's his..." Jacob spat through clenched teeth. I fell silent not knowing what to say. If I could go back in time I would... But life just never worked that way.

We made a turn and started walking back in the direction of my house. My thoughts running wild now. I thought back to what Leah had said and how true her words were.

I slowed my pace and then stopped. Taking my hand away from Jacobs. He looked back to me with questioning in his deep brown eyes.

"What is it? " He asked.

"I"ve hurt you..." I whispered to him. Jake looked down to the ground and than back to me with a mix of emotions.

I placed my hands back in my jacket pocket, nervously biting my bottom lip before continuing..."So many times... over and over... What Leah said... a lot of it was true. I don't deserve you... your friendship... or anything else. You'd have every right to walk away Jake... "

He shook his head and closed the small distance between us, placing his hand under my chin and lifting my face.

"I can't..." He breathed. "And I won't... not ever Bells... "

I looked up at him, seeing all his perfection. Perfection he was all too unaware of. One of Jake's best features was his humble attitude when it came to himself or others.

He took my hand as we finished our walk and came out to my back yard. Jacob suddenly stopped dead in his tracks as soon as we exited the border of tree's. I stopped abruptly behind him and followed his stare. It didn't take me long to discover what made him stop so suddenly.

In my yard was a bright yellow porsche... I knew of only one person who had a car so extravagant like that... Alice.

My heart began to race as I stared at it. I felt Jacobs hand tighten around mine in response. He turned and looked at me, his eyes searching mine with a million questions that I had myself. Why was she here? Was she alone? When did she get here? What does she want?

My stomache turned at the thought of her not being here alone... was he here? Had Edward come? Just the thought of his name had my blood running cold. I wasn't ready to see him. For the first time as I stood there looking at Alice's car. I recognized what this feeling was for him... Fear... I now feared Edward in the same way I had feared Victoria or Laurent... My head whirled at the realization. Everything was different now.

Suddenly laughter filled the air as Charlie and Alice stepped outside and headed for her porsche. I watched them as they talked.

"Sorry to interupt your Game with Billy. I just really wanted to see how Bella was but I guess it will have to wait for another time... "

"Yea... I'm sorry you wasted a trip here Alice. I don't know when they'll be back. I can have her give you a call though when she gets home?"

"Yes... That would be great. Thank you Charlie."

"How long are you staying in town? " Charlie asked before she climbed back in her porsche.

"Well... for a week or so at least. We have some... business to attend to..." She replied with a smile.

I drew closer to Jake and felt my hands start to shake at her words. If it was just Alice here. It would be fine but something told me she wasn't alone.

Jake's whole body was tensed as he watched her. I could feel his tremors start as she waved to Charlie and peeled out of the driveway.

I sighed and kept my eyes on the now empty road she'd left on, a sick feeling creeping over me as I sat down on a large rock behind me. My fear consuming me as Jacob knelt down in front of me.

"You don't have to see her... or any of them... I can protect you... if that's what you want..." Sincerity clear in his tone.

I glanced up at him... "How..." I breathed.

"I can talk to Sam. Explain what happened... trust me... he'll have no problem going along with it, Bells."

"Thats... a lot to ask... I mean... Considering..." I started but stopped when I saw Jake shake his head.

"It's fine... Bells I promise..."

I nodded to him as he held out his hand and helped me up from the rock. We walked slowly back into the house and were greeted by Charlie.

"Hey you two! Uh... Bella, You just missed Alice. She stopped in... wanted you to call her if you could later?"

I took off my jacket and tried to pull myself together.

"...Um... Yea... okay.. I'll try to give her a call tomorrow. Thanks dad..." I replied and sat down on the couch next to him. Jake shrugged out of his brown leather Jacket and exchanged a look with Billy who than looked to me. He nodded to me with understanding without any words needing to be spoken.

Despite the fact that Alice was gone for now, I couldn't stop the fear coursing through me. My heart raced and my head whirled as I thought of her words... fearing the worst... Edwards Return. I wasn't ready to see him.

Lucky for me, Charlie was too engrossed in the game on T.V. with Billy to notice a thing. Billy on the other hand, I did not fool.

Jacob sat down next to me, his arm brushing up against mine. Warmth radiated from him to me as I stared blankly ahead at the T.V... But it wasn't the images on the screen I was focused on. It was the images in my mind that had me drawn in.

I relived my honeymoon for what seemed like the hundredth time. The feeling of Edwards stone body pinning me beneath him, his ice cold touch. My screaming for him to stop, hoping beyond all hope to snap him out of whatever trance he was in. And pain... So much pain. Breathing was becoming difficult as my panic started to take hold of me.

"Hey Charlie I think we need to make a beer run buddy!" I heard Billy say off in the distance. "If we go now we'll make it back after the half time..."

"Yea... I think we do. Come on old man. I'm buying." Charlie replied and began to wheel Billy to the door, where he threw on his jacket.

Jacob stood up and tossed Charlie the keys to his fathers Truck. " Here Charlie. " He said as Charlie caught them.

"Thanks." He replied. "You guys need anything while we're at the store?"

"No... I'm good... thanks though..." Jake replied. I tried to focus on what they were sayiing.

"Bella? What about you? Need anything?" Charlie offered as he opened the front door to leave.

I glanced up at him. "Um... No... No I don't think so... I'm fine dad... Thanks..." I replied in a whisper.

"You look a little pale honey... you feel okay?" Charlie questioned.

"Yea... I um... I'm just really tired dad. That's all. I'll be fine..." I explained before going back to starring blankly at the television.

Charlie sighed. "Okay... be back soon..." He said as they left and closed the door behind them. I heard the truck engine roar from outside and listened as they pulled out of the driveway.

In my mind, it was as if my honeymoon had just happened all over again. Everything still felt so real. Like Edward were in the room with me at this very moment.

I closed my eyes as memories of me falling to bathroom floor came back to me. The coldness I felt. Cold to my core as I laid there crying. I couldn't stop my hands from shaking, or my heart from racing each time I thought of this... of Him...

A warm arm pressed up against mine as I opened my eyes and glanced over to Jacob sitting next to me. Worry on his handsome face. He reached down and took my hand securely in his.

"I'm okay..." I said to him, seeing his worry for me.

He locked eyes with me. "Are you..." Looking right through me as he always did. He knew me best. I looked away from him. Knowing I couldn't fool him.

"I'll talk to Sam in the morning. I have patrol..."

I glanced back to him..."Okay..."

We fell silent. My heart stopped racing as Jake's hand stayed in mine. I focused on the sound of his steady breathing. Taking my mind off my worries at least for now as I laid my head on his shoulder and tightened my hand in his.

"Thank you..." I whispered to him.

"For what?" He replied in a whisper of his own.

"For being here Jake... "

"Always...Bells... Always..." He said with a sigh and laid his head on top of mine.

A feeling of comfort surrounded me as I sat there with him. His warmth began to surround me, making the cold I felt fade away. My eyes grew heavy as I fought off sleep. Truth was... Being near Jacob had always given me this feeling. I cherished it now more than ever.

JACOB'S P.O.V.

Bella slept in my arms most of the night. I didn't dare wake her. She seemed so peaceful and after all she'd been through. I knew she needed the rest.

I, on the other hand, did not sleep hardly at all. My mind was racing with too many damn thoughts to even attempt to sleep. I did finally drift off after four in the morning with Bella nestled into me.

She would stir every once in a while and then nestle back into me. I only managed to get two hours of sleep before hearing a loud knock on my front door. I slowly moved away from Bella and glanced at the clock on the wall noting that it was 6:20 a.m.

I opened the door to see Sam, Quil, Embry, Jared, and Paul all waiting there for me. Paul raised his eyebrow in a suggestive manor when he glanced back to Bella's truck.

"So Jake... you have company? Still? She stayed here with you... all night?" He asked with a sarcastic chuckle. I gave him a scowl just as Sam piped up.

"Hey... Now... really..." He said, effectively silencing him for now.

"Look Jake..." He said turning his attention back to me... " I know it's still early and all but we have a run to make and Emily is headed here with Billy to cook us all breakfast in a few hours. Sorry... I didn't know..." He said glancing over my shoulder in toward the house where Bella was.

"It's fine... Lets Go..." I said... glancing back to Bella who was still sound asleep. My only hope was that she'd stay that way until I got back from the run with the pack.

We headed for the woods and phased. Making the run as quick as we could. It wasn't long before the rant of many questions began.

"So what's the deal Jake..." Paul asked..." Is Edward... really gone for good? "

"Yea.. He is... and if he knows whats good for him.. He'll keep it that way too." I spat. Not hiding an ounce of my anger for the soul sucking leech.

"Agreed." Sam chimed in soon after. "He better stay away..." He trailed off when he saw my thoughts all now clearly on display for them to see from last night. Try as I may... I couldn't help but think about Bells and how hurt she was... How much he had hurt her.

"Man... Think she'll be okay?" Quil asked in a sincere tone.

"Yea... I really hope so."

"Hey man..." Embry added..."So that's why she was so off that night... when she came to my house looking for you and asked me not to say anything..."

"Yea..." I answered him.

"She came to you Jake..." Embry stated..."Maybe... Maybe..."

"No..." I cut him off, already knowing where he was going with his thought.."Don't even think about it... just don't..."

"Okay Bro." He agreed and remained silent as we carried on with the patrol.

We picked up on no new scents. The area was totally clear as we headed back.

"She does care for you." Embry finally said. Breaking his hour long silence.

I thought back to Her wedding reception. How her face lit up as she ran to me in her dress and I caught her in my arms. I had never felt so happy and yet so tortured in all my life.

Of course. My thoughts were not my own right now...

"There's something there... Jake... there has to be..."

I huffed in frustration and just kept running. Embry took the hint and dropped it yet again. Once we reached my back yard, I took cover behind a large tree and phased back, quickly pulling on my jeans and T- Shirt and jogging into the house. We'd been gone over two hours now and truth be told, I was worried for Bella.

I was relieved to open the front door and see her still fast asleep on my couch.

Sam and the others came in soon behind me. We all tried to keep it down but that's a hard task when you have a house ful of hungry werewolves.

Emily and my dad showed up a few minutes after we'd returned. I took the oppurtunity and jumped in the shower. Throwing on a clean pair of my cut off shorts, and rejoining the others at the kitchen table ,y dad wheeled himself over to me.

"She looks more peaceful than I've seen her in days ya know son..." He said with a small nod to me.

"Yea..." I said. Glancing over to her, and seeing how beautiful she was. Even when she was sleeping.

He patted me on the back before wheeling into the living room by the recliner and pulling out the morning paper to read. His coffee in hand. I watched him glance over to Bella every couple of minutes.

It had been no secret to my father how much I loved his best friends Daughter. He knew I loved her when we were kids and he'd watched my love grow for her to now. My father saw me break many times... her wedding... being the worst. I sighed and couldn't help but think of the mountain... The kiss... the battle... Her choosing him and walking away from me in my room...

A loud bang suddenly came from the kitchen, effectively ripping me away from my many thoughts. I jumped up and saw Paul trying to out out the small grease fire he had started when attempting to cook the now charcoaled bacon on the stove. I laughed and helped him put it out.

"You're burning the bacon, Paul!" I laughed again as he scowled and threw the pan in the sink.

Emily saw and errupted into a fit of her own laughter sitting next to sam. She got up and shoved paul out of the way.

"Get out of the kitchen... seriously Paul... Before you burn down Jake and Billy's house with your attempt to cook. Let me do it.." She said smacking him with the spatula. He grumbled and tossed his hands up in the air in surrender as he and Jared left the house in laughter. I couldn't help but chuckle again and think of his poor future wife. She would have her hands full with him... that's for sure.

I thanked Emily and walked back out toward the living room to check on Bella, noticing she was now no longer on the couch asleep. My dad saw my look of concern and pointed to the bathroom before returning to reading the sports section.

I sighed and waited for her. Soon enough the door opened and she met my stare. She gave me a smile and chuckled a bit to see Emily cooking. Im sure she more than heard all of the comotion Paul had caused.

"Hey you..." I breathed to her, closing the distance between us and wrapping her up in a hug.

"Hey..." She replied, returning the embrace. I went to release her and noticed she held on to me so I continued to hold her until I felt her let go a bit.

She glanced at me and immediate color flushed to her cheeks. I knew she was uncomfortable being around me half naked right now. So I grabbed my sweatshhirt from the couch and pulled it on. She gave me another half smile as I wrapped my arm around her shoulders.

I heard her sigh and glanced down at her as she peered up at me and simply shrugged. It seemed like the weight of the world was on her small shoulders and I hated that she felt that way. I tightened my arm around her as she leaned into me.

Soon enough, and thanks to Emily alone. Breakfast was done and the house was still in one piece.

Paul and Jared came back in as we all gathered around the table and ate. Bella even managed to eat some which made me more than happy.

I saw her laugh a few times at Sam who was ruthlessly teasing Paul for nearly burning my house down from his majorly failed attempt at cooking. It made my heart soar to see her smile like that after all she had just been through.

When we were all finished I cleared a few of the plates and poured myself another cup of hot coffee. I knew I'd need it after not having much sleep last night. Paul came over to me setting his plate in the now full sink of dishes.

"So I know I'm usually an ass and all... But uh... I was thinking. I wouldn't mind running a few extra shifts around Bella's house... just to be sure that jackass leech don't come crawling back to hurt her some more..."

I glanced over to him..." I may just take you up on that offer... Thanks Bro..."

He nodded and glanced toward the table where Emily and Bella were laughing together while clearing off the plates still left.

Out of the corner of my eye I noticed Seth and Leah walk in through the front door. Leah with her usually bitter scowl on and Seth being his usual happy go lucky punk self that he was. He soon walked over to join Paul and I with a smile.

"Hey... you better have saved me some grub man!"

"I did! " I replied reaching around and picking up the small plate of food Emily reserved for him. "Here..." I said, handing it to him.

"Thanks Jake!" He replied, sitting down at the table with Leah, who was wearing a nasty look for Bella as she grabbed a muffin. I took a few steps towards them just as she started in:

"So... Decide to come back to hurt Jake some more huh..."

..." Leah..." Emily warned, giving Bella an apologetic look. I felt my blood begin to boil...

"What! Oh come on. I mean... really... All she has to do is bat her pretty brown sad eyes and Jake's all mush again at her feet. It's pathetic! As if almost getting him killed last spring wasn't enough for her. She has to come back now and really do him in." Leah spat angrily at her from across the table.

I glarred at her. My anger evident in my tone.

"Shut up Leah!" I warned, stepping closer as Bella turned and handed Emily the plates before quickly turning to me.

"Um..." She started, tucking het hair behind her ear..."Thanks... for... everything... I gotta go..." She said, grabbing her Jacket and keys from the couch and making a mad run out of the house.

I watched her run out and whipped my head back around to Leah. I was furious. I knew Leah could be bitter and bitchy. We all knew that but this was far over the line. Even for her.

"You couldn't keep you damn mouth shut could you!" I said to her before running after Bella.

"Bells... Bella wait!" I ran outside and watched her pull out of the driveway without so much as looking back.

"Damn it..." I cursed under my breath and ran straight for the woods. I barely stopped to strip off my shorts and tie them to the leather cord around my ankle before phasing.

If I had any luck, I could still beat her to her house and catch her before she went inside. As I ran, I thought of how many tears she had cried last night and how much better she seemed to be at breakfast... before Leah... I was gonna rip her a new one when I saw her again.

The trees around me became a big blur as I ran with lightening speed to Forks... Before I knew it I was passing the town line and just outside of Bella's back yard. I stopped and was thankful to see I had beat her home by seconds.

I quickly phased back and slipped on my shorts before jogging up to her just as she unlocked her door. I reached for her arm and she quickly spun around. Her eyes met mine. They were full of fear and red rimmed from crying.

"Bells I'm... I'm sorry... Leah's... well she's just Leah..."

She nodded slowly and turned from me, opening her door and gesturing for me to go in with her. I stepped in behind her and watched her closely as she hung up her coat. New tars formed in her eyes when she looked up at me.

"When I see her for patrol tonight... I'm gonna..." I started.

"No..." She said, stopping me with her hand in the air..."No... Don't... She's... right..."

"What... No... No she's not. She's cruel, and..." I argued but she continued...

"... And everything she said was the truth..." She finished for me. Sitting down on the couch.

I went silent and sat down next to her..."She's... bitter..." I stated, staring down at my hands.

"I have no right to ask anything from you... Not after what I did..." Bella said with a sigh.

I couldn't help but think of the mountain and the kiss we shared at her words as I took her hand in mine. "You know I'm here for you. Even if... things didn't go... the way I hoped they would..."

"Jake I... I'm... sorry..." She whispered.

"Yea... Me too Bells... Me too..." I replied with sincerity, taking my hand away from hers as a mix of emotions hit me. I knew this feeling. I've had it a million times. The feeling of wanting her to be mine. The feeling of loving her more than the air I breathed and knowing it would never be enough... I stood up and was about to leave for patrol. The ache in my chest that was always there now returned as I walked to the door.

"You know what I thought of..." I heard her suddenly say. Stopping me in my tracks with my hand on the door. I closed my eyes and swallowed hard, willing myself to turn back around and look her in the eyes again...

"When... When I was on the island... terrified..." She continued as I remained silent.

..."You..." She whispered. Her confession brought with it joy and fear all at the same time. Joy because it confirmed to me what I had suspected all along. That the dreaded feeling I was having was right. She wasn't okay. She was hurting and eventhough she had chosen him... married him... and was thousands of miles away from me...we were still connected.

I crossed the room...

"Bells... I had this... feeling... when you were gone..."

She snapped her head up and looked me in the eyes as I told her.

"I... couldn't place what it was, or what it meant. But I had... this strong feeling that something was wrong with you... I should have followed that instinct... done something... I knew. I knew that he would..." I stopped when I saw the fearful expression on her face at just the mention of it.

She had no idea how much that were true.

"There was... nothing you could have done. I should've listened."

"I wish you had..."

She closed her eyes and leaned her cheek into my hand. My heart raced as I watched her. Not able to take my eyes away from her. Eventhough I knew how much it would kill me later. I couldn't look away.

"I missed you..." She breathed to me. Her words hitting me hard as she slowly opened her eyes and locked them on mine. I knew I had to leave... now... If I didn't. I would lose all self control. I would tell her that I loved her still. Wanted her still and always would.

"I gotta go... Sam's gonna have my ass if I don't get a move on ya know..." I said, while I still had my nerve to walk away

"Yea... " She nodded in reply

"I'll be back later? Maybe... watch a movie or something...?" I offered her with a smile.

"Yea... um... Charlie should be home from work around seven... I'll cook..."

"Okay... See you later Bells "

I walked to the door and went out into the rain, heading straight for the woods without looking back. I knew all too well what would happen if I turned around. I'd go back and tell her how much I still loved her. I felt my heart rip in two for what seemed like the millionth time as I took cover in the trees and phased.

I ran fast to get to the lumber yard where I was supposed to meet Sam and the rest of the pack. All I could think of is Bella. I knew my heart was in for it again. I hated Cullen even more for what he'd done to her this time. I could only hope that she was serious about it really being over.

It was torture to love her as much as I did and know that she would never love me that way. Truth was... Eventhough it hurt like hell... I would never be able to walk away from her. I would be whatever she needed me to be... for as long as she needed me to be. My thoughts were suddenly cut off short when Leah entered my mind.

"You got some nerve... so it is true... you're just gonna go crawling back even after the hell she put you through... not once but twice over. Pathetic!"

I continued to run until I broke out of the woods and into the Lumber yard where Leah had just arrived at. She whipped around to face me and I was more than ready.

"You had no right to speak that way to Bella this morning. We all knew you could be bitter, but that was crossing the line. You have no idea what she's been through!" I raged at her. Stepping right in her face with my teeth bared and my anger evident.

"She brought it all on herself, Jake!" She screamed back in my head. "How many times are you gonna let this bitch tread all over you..."

"That's enough!" I seethed back, letting out a fierce growl that echoed off the trees.

"Its true!" She raged on. Like I said this morning... She came back here to really finish you off. Take it from someone who knows... Once the hearts broken badly enough... It never heals..."

She went silent then, and backed away. I noticed the change in her immediately after she said it. I stared at her and glanced over to Sam who had taken notice of our fight. In some crazy way... I knew exactly how Leah felt. She loved Sam still to this day and had to deal with watching him love Emily. I fought the urge to tell her off again and swallowed my anger as I walked over to the pack and waited for Sam's instructions. Leah also fell in line with us.

"Okay..." Sam began..."As you know things have been pretty quiet around here lately. No new trails. No new scents. Nothing odd or out of the ordinary has occurred. While I won't risk being caught off guard, I think we can scale back our patrols for a few weeks. Get some much needed rest so if something does occur, we will be better prepared for it in the long run."

We all nodded in agreement with him.

"Tonight... Seth can't run patrol with Leah... He isn't feeling well. Sue called me an hour agao and said he has the flu. Needs his rest tonight. So... any volunteers to take that shift until 6?" Sam asked, looking around. Paul looked to the ground and Quil avoided eye contact with Sam by staring up into the cloudy sky. I glanced over to Leah and knew we were far from finished with our earlier conversation. So I volunteered. I would still be back in time to get to Bella's for dinner.

"I'll do it..." I offered. He nodded and glanced over to an irritated Leah.

"I trust that you two won't kill each other?" Sam asked

"Ha... I'm not making any damn promises..." Leah spat as she turned on her heel and headed back into the woods. I just gave Sam a nod as the meeting ended.

"I'll be back with Paul and Jared to relieve you two at 6... Be on your guard please." Sam said.

"Always." I replied and took off after Leah. She had a good head start but I was much faster than she was and would catch her in no time.

I saw her ahead within seconds and picked up my pace to catch her. Before long we were running side by side to the watch point where we would stay until we had to do another border run later.

Rain was still pouring down as we stopped. Leah was quiet. Too quiet as we sat there on look out. Many minutes passed before I finally opened my thoughts up to her again.

"We're not that different ya know..." I said, glancing over to her.

"We're nothing alike..." She replied in a softer tone than before.

"I disagree... We both love someone we can't have..." I said quietly to her.

She went silent again as the wind blew around us.

"Yea... I guess there's that..." She finally admitted.

I thought back to how hard it was on her when Sam had imprinted on Emily. It ruined everything, and than Leah lost her father. She'd been through a lot. I couldn't blame her for being bitter. I probably would be too.

"I just dont get it..." She said, turning to face me.

"What?" I replied, looking at her now.

"Why she does this... Why she chose that damn leech over you. I have many good reasons to dislike her... I mean... I hate what I am...And when her precious Cullens came to town... the change set in... sure there are perks to being a werewolf, but some days I wish it never had happened to me. And Sam..." She paused, and dropped her gaze to the wet forest ground below..."That pain will never go away..."

"What you did..." She started again..."At the newborn battle... Pushing me out of the way like that... Well ... Thanks... I know I should have said it months ago."

"You're welcome... " I replied, taken back a bit at her genuine thank you.

"That night was horrible. Sometimes... I can still hear you screaming in pain. I mean... you hate me... but you still pushed me out of the way with that newborn vamp."

"I don't hate you." I corrected her.

She lifted her head. "Oh come on Jake. It's not that hard to see. I'm not the easiest person to be around."

"I still don't hate you. If I'd been through what you have... I'd probably be bitter too, Leah." I said, My eyes meeting hers with sincerity.

"She should see it ... She should see how lucky she is to have you love her like you do, Jake. That's another reason I dislike her... I mean... I would give anything to have that back with Sam and she just... takes you for granted."

I nodded, thinking back to all the times Bells and I had been through. There was no denying that what Leah said was true. But it didn't change how much I loved Bells. It never would.

We remained pretty quiet the rest of the shift. We made a run around the border twice and came back with nothing.

We were almost back to the lookout point again when Leah suddenly stopped in front of me and whirled around as I put the brakes on and skidded to a halt.

"What?" I asked her in frustration. Not understanding her sudden stop.

"I'm sorry for this morning. Look... I'll try to keep my mouth shut when she's around, okay? " She asked.

"Yea... okay..." I nodded, forgiving her and moving on.

Sam and Jared and Paul were right on time. I said my goodbyes and made a fast run for home. Knowing I had to take a shower and get dressed in a hurry to make it to Bells for dinner on time.

I reached my house in record time and burst through the front door still on a run to the bathroom for a hot shower. I scrubbed my skin twice. Being out in the muddy forest did wonders for appearance. I finished in the shower and quickly grabbed my clothes and dressed.

"Jake... Son... Let's go... we gotta get a move on or we're gonna be late ya know." I heard my father say from the living rom. I came out of the bathrrom and tucked in my shirt and threw on my black sneakers. My dad raised an eyebrow, watching me with a crooked smile as I put on my belt.

"So... tucking in your shirt tonight, huh son? " He teased.

I just chuckled as I grabbed my leather jacket and his truck keys.

"Ya know you don't have to try very hard to impress Bella... She aready notices you... Just saying." He continued on with the teasing at my expense.

"Sure, Sure Dad." I replied as I helped him out of the wheel chair and into the passenger side of the truck.

I loaded his chair in the back as he closed his door and jumped in the driver seat noticing the radio clock. I was already twenty minutes to seven. I reved the engine and we took off for Forks.

"Slow down son... no need to rush..."

"I don't wanna be late..." I replied as my impatience grew at the third red light we had stopped at.

"She'd wait for you..." My father replied with a chuckle just as we passed the forks town line. Traffic was a bit slow. I glanced ahead and saw Charlies cruiser.

"Well look at that, son. See... right on time. We won't be more than a minute or so behind Charlie. So we're not late. What did I tell you?"

"Yea Yea..." I sighed." You're right... You're always right..."

"About time you learned that." My dad said with laughter as we pulled in behind Charlies parked cruiser.

I shut off the engine and tucked the keys in my pocket as I unloaded my fathers chair and helped him out. He grabbed the two bottles of pepsi we brought to carry in. I set him down and went to wheel him in when he grabbed my arm.

"Hey son..." He said with a serious expression on his face now. "You know... I'm sorry you have to ... haul me around everywhere..."

I shook my head. "Hey it keeps me strong. So really... I should be thanking you." I said with a smile and began to wheel him in.

"Okay Son. If you say so." He replied as we knocked on Bella's door.

I never wanted to my father to feel like he was a burden on me. He never would be. He would always have a home and someone to take care of him as long as I was alive. My sisters still lived out of state but called us each week to check in. We would always take care of him.

Bella soon opened the door with a smile. One that took my breath away. She looked beautiful. She always looked beautiful.

"Hi... um... Hi..." She said, beautiful color rushing to her cheeks.

"We brought soda." My dad offered her. She took them with a smile for him as I wheeled him in out of the rain and closed the door.

I wrapped an arm around Bells... "Dinner looks great!"

"Thanks..." She replied...

She had out done herself with cooking as usual. It was great and she made more than enough to fill my appetite. I saw her smile and laugh at my dad and Charlie who were having a friendly debate over who would win the next game. I couldn't help but join in when they placed a bet on it.

Dinner was a raging success. Bells immediately started to clear the table as soon as we were finished. I couldn't help but look at her and think of us having a family dinner together in our own home... Married... with two or three small dark haired children at the table too... I shook my head and tried to stop myself from thinking those thoughts. They only ended in more heartache for me.

Bella started the dishes. Scrubbing away on each plate. I walked up slowly behind her, placing my hand on hers in the soapy water.

"Here... Go sit Bells. Relax... after all you cooked. I can get these..." I offered with a smile.

"No.. it's okay... I..." She began but stopped when she saw the look on my face.

"Come on..." I insisted, taking the dish rag and plate from her. "It's the least I can do..."

"Well... okay... you wash and I'll dry... its this thing... ya know... called compromise..." She teased with a smile, grabbing the dish towel from the stove.

I chuckled and handed her the wet plate. "Okay... Deal..." I knew how stubborn she was. I knew that all too well.

I tried to stop thinking about how doing the dishes with her was like a small preview of what married life would be like. A very small preview of course.. "Thanks..." She said to me just as we finished them up. I nodded and dried my hands. Her eyes met mine for a moment before she hurriedly looked down, her cheeks revealing a small blush. I couldn't take my eyes from her. I was beyond thankful that she was still the warm, blushing Bella I loved so much.

She pulled up her turtleneck sweater up a bit before glancing up at me again. I felt my stomach turn as I thought of the reason for her choice of outfit lately and what she was trying to hide.

"You wanna go for a walk?" I asked. Hoping she would and that maybe she'd open up a bit more to me. She nodded after pondering it for a second. I got her jacket and held it our for her. She placed it on and I grabbed mine.

"Where you kids headed?" Asked Charlie.

"Just out for a walk... Be back soon..." She told him.

"Thank you for Dinner hun. It was great..." My dad said to her.

"You're welcome. Anytime Billy." Bella replied with a big smile.

"Hey now... it's getting dark out there soon... be careful okay? Jake.. take care of her please..." Charlie chimed in as I opened the front door

"Always..." I stated to Charlie. Little did he know the real monster she should have run from she was now married to. I cringed inside at the thought.

When we started heading for the woods in her backyard,y mind wandered to her reception again. That was the last time had been in the woods with her at night. I thought of how beautiful she was and how her smile lit up her whole face when she ran into my arms.

"Thanks for having us over for dinner. We've missed that..." I finally spoke.

She glanced over to me. " I've missed it too..."

"We've been pretty lucky lately... To have Sue around... I have thanked her a hundred times for being there for dad when I ... left..." I finished in a whisper. I knew how much that had hurt her and kicked myself daily for taking off like that.

"I was so worried for you... I think I drove poor Seth crazy... constantly calling and checking in to see if you were home... or if anyone had even heard from you. " She admitted.

I stopped and turned suddenly to face her. " I shouldn't of..." I started, my guilt consuming me for putting her through that. She shook her head. Effectively stopping me.

"No... No Jake ... You have no reason to feel guilty... or to be sorry... Truth is... When I found out Alice had sent you an invitation to the wedding. I was furious with her. I knew she wasn't thinking, and I knew how much that would hurt you. I hated that there was nothing I could do to fix it... By the time I found out... you were already gone. " she said softly.

"Still doesn't excuse me just... taking off... " I breathed back to her.

She nodded as we slowly started walking again. The moon began to peak out from the clouds, reflecting off the trees.

"You came back though..." She whispered...

"I couldn't stay away... hurt you like that..." I replied, hearing her heart start to beat faster, and her breath become shaky.

"Thank you... for... coming back..." She said.

I suddenly felt her hand brush up against mine. I laced our fingers together. She felt chilly to me and I debated on turning around so she wouldn't get too cold out here.

Bella suddenly stopped where we were. I glanced over to her, trying to see what was wrong. She wouldn't meet my stare...

"What you said... at my reception that night..." She began, as she lifted her head. Fear in her eyes. I took a step closer to her, my eyes looking into hers. Seeing all her pain there that he had caused.

" I... should've listened..." She breathed to me. Her eyes growing misty with unshed tears. I took another step closer to her so we were standing face to face. I braced myself for what she was going to tell me. She had told me enough earlier for me to put two and two together but hadn't opened up much about it sense. I would never push her to. I had to really focus to keep my anger for that leech in check. For Bella's sake...

" When we... " She took another deep breath before continuing..." When we got to the Island... thats where he took me... it was... a wedding present from Carlisle and Esme... Everything seemed fine. Things were... going the way I had always thought they would...But..." She paused again... " something changed... in him... I tried to snap him out of it... It was like looking at a completely different person... A monster...A monster with no control... "

My head was now full of images she described to me as I looked deep in her brown eyes. It was like a damn horror movie I couldn't get out of my mind. She dropped her eyes to the ground for a moment, and I felt her hands start to shake in mine. I pulled myself away from my own thoughts and hatred for that monster she married long enough to get a grip for her. She needed me.

... "Maybe... I deserved it... after all... you tried to warn me... I should've listened... I would give anything to go back... "

I pulled her to me then, and held her close.

"No... Don't say that, honey... I should have followed you... done something... anything..."

How could she think this was her fault. That what he had done was somehow on her?

She looked up at me and shook her head... " I pushed you away Jake... you tried..."

"Not hard enough..." I breathed. .. " I knew there was Something wrong... I could feel it Bella... And then... When Embry called me... I really thought it was over that you were changed... forever. "

"I should have known better than to think that he wouldn't ... lose control with me... He warned me many times before. I was foolish not to listen. "

I thought back to my words to her in the woods at her reception... How I had begged her not to go. Not to do this. I just knew he would lose control with her. Hurt her... or worse...

The wind blew and she shivered as I tucked her under my arm. " We can head back." I offered.

"No..." She shook her head... " I like it out here... with you..."

"Im sorry I wasn't there... to protect you..." I said with a heavy sigh. I would have given anything to change that. To have been there.

She squeezed my hand in hers... " It's not your fault... it's mine..."

"No it's his..." I spat through clenched teeth.

We walked back toward her house now. Staying silent most of the way. I had so much I wanted to ask her. So much I wanted to say. But i knew... it wasn't the right time.

Bella slowed down a bit before stopping again. I turned back and looked at her.

"What is it? " I asked.

"I"ve hurt you..." She whispered to me, looking into my eyes..

I glanced down. Not able to hold her stare for long. I wasn't ready for her words... they hit me hard. Like a confession of her own. She took her hand slowly away from mine and placed them both back in her pockets.

"So many times... over and over... What Leah said... a lot of it was true. I don't deserve you... your friendship... or anything else. You'd have every right to walk away Jake... "

I glanced back up at her, and saw how truly sorry she seemed to be. Despite all we'd been through the one thing I knew for sure was that Bella wouldn't ever hurt me on purpose. She couldn't help how much she loved that soul sucking demon that love for him had now cost her... Dearly.

I shook my head and closed the small distance between us, placing my hand under her chin and lifting her face to see me.

"I can't..." I breathed. " And I won't... not ever Bells... "

It was nothing but the honest truth. Eventhough I knew this would surely cause me a world of heartache when it was all said and done with her... just the way it always had before... I couldn't help myself. I was constantly drawn to her. Like a magnet. Fighting it was useless and exhausting. Not to mention torture when you considered how very much I loved this girl. I had given up fighting it a long time ago. I tried running before and look where that got me. Right back her. Nothing could keep me from wanting her or change my love for her.

I had often asked myself what I would do if she went through with the change and became what Edward was... My one and only sworn enemy... Would I Be able to stay away from her? Would I be able to truly turn my back on her for good and never look back. Despite what logic told me.

I always came back to the same answer... No.. No I could not. I was strong in a lot of ways. But Bells would always be my weakness. That would never change no matter how many years went by.

I took her hand back in mine and we headed on to her house. The wind was whipping al around us. Making her shiver every now and then. We reached the border of her back yard soon when my blood suddenly ran cold as I smelled the sick sweet auroma I hated fill the air. I stopped dead in my tracks and felt Bella come to a stop behind me.

I looked ahead and saw a familiar yellow porsche sitting in Charlies driveway. My skin crawled when the realization hit me of who was inside... one of them... the Cullens. I could smell them. I was willing to Bet it was Alice, but it didn't really make much difference to me. I didn't want them around me or Bella.

I turned and locked eyes with her, searching them for some kind of answer. Had she asked her to come here? Was she thinking of giving that monster another chance? My heart wrenched with every unanswered question as her eyes stayed on mine. They revealed to me she was as clueless as I was. I felt her hand start to shake and saw the immense fear in her eyes as she stared ahead at the porsche.

Heat ran instensely up my spine and spread out through my limbs. Causing the small tremors to start. I tried to reign them in just as the familiar sound of Alice's voice filled the air. Her laughter surrounded us as we watched her talk to Charlie. I couldn't take my eyes off her. They were fixed there. I held my breath and just waited, hoping she'd had enough common sense not to bring Edward with her. For his sake...

I listened to every word she said,and watched her climb in her porsche and then speed away. Bella's heart raced as her eyes stayed fixed on the empty road.

" You don't have to see her... or any of them... I can protect you... if that's what you want..." I whispered to her, turning and seeing how frightened she seemed. She sat down and looked immediately sick.

She glanced up .. " How..."

"I can talk to Sam... trust me... he'll have no problem going along with it Bells."

"Thats... a lot to ask... I mean... Considering..." She started but stopped when she saw me shake my head.

"It's fine... Bells I promise..."

I held out my hand to her, helping her back up from the rock and walking inside with her.

"Hey you two! Uh... Bella, Ya just missed Alice. She stopped in... wanted you to call her if you could later? " Charlie explained, when we opened the door.

My dads eyes flashed to me. The look on his face worrisom to say the least.

"Um... Yea... okay.,. I'll try to give her a call tomorrow. Thanks dad..." Bella replied. Sitting down next to him.

I watched her closely and knew she was having a hard time keeping it together for Charlies sake. I sat down next to her. She starred blankly at the T.V. Like her mind was a million miles away from this room. I could hear her heartbeat. It's rythm rapid. I glanced over to her, wondering where her mind was, and wishing there was something I could do to fix it.

I exchanged a look with my dad. Who was also taking notice of her.

"Hey Charlie I think we need to make a beer run buddy! If we go now, we'll make it back after the half time..." He thankfully offered.

" Yea... I think we do. Come on old man. I'm buying. " Charlie replied and began to wheel him to the door, where he threw on his jacket.

I stood up, tossing him the truck keys. "Here Charlie." I said, as He caught them.

"Thanks." He replied. "You guys need anything while we're at the store? "

"No... I'm good... thanks though..." I replied.

"Bella? What about you? Need anything? " Charlie offered, opening the front door to leave.

She glanced up at him. "Um... No... No I don't think so... I'm fine dad... Thanks."

"You look a little pale honey... you feel okay?" Charlie questioned.

"Yea... I um... I'm just really tired dad. That's all. I'll be fine..." She explained before going back to starring blankly at the t.v.

Charlie sighed. "Okay... be back soon..." He said, leaving and closing the door behind them.

I glanced over to her, seeing that she was lost in thought. I reached down and took her hand back in mine, genuinely worried for her.

"I'm okay..." She said to me. Trying to reassure me, but I knew it was just her way of pretending she was fine. She could try to fool everyone else but she couldn't fool me. I knew her too well, and loved her too damn much for that.

I looked into her eyes..."Are you...?"

"I'll talk to Sam in the morning. I have patrol..."

She glanced back." Okay...Thank you..." She Whispered to me.

"For what?" I replied.

"For being here, Jake... "

"Always...Bells... Always..." I told her.

I listened closely to the sound of her heart beat. Thanking my lucky stars that things hadn't gone worse with Edward... Much worse. She was still Bella...

I hated what he'd done to her... for the second time now. Leaving her in pieces and only a shell of herself. I couldn't help but think back to when Sam found her in the woods after he'd left her the first time. She was half of the person she used to be for months...

Dread came over me, as I remembered her then. I would do anything to keep her from going back through that kind of hell again. Things were different this time around. I knew what a soul sucking demon Edward really was. I wasn't in the dark about everything like before. Now, I was all too aware of the supernatural that surrounded us, in what was supposed to be only in fairy tales.

Loving Bells had been the best and hardest thing for me at the same time. To know her was to love her but to know she may never love me back in that way, was a form of hell all in itself.

Soon I heard the familiar sound of the truck tires pulling into Charlie's dirt driveway.

Charlie wheeled in my dad who took one look at Bella sleeping on my shoulder and a wide smile spread across his face. I smiled to him in return.

"Wow she must have been really beat huh..." Charlie asked, glancing down at her. His eyes wandered to our hands, seeing them intertwined on my knee. I slowly went to release her hand for Charlies sake, but felt Bells stir and relace her fingers back with mine.

I shot Charlie an apologetic look, luckily dad chimed in to save me.

"Oh Charlie... Leave em' be ya old man."

Charlie just nodded and sat down in his chair, turning the game back on.

I watched along with them but kept my cheering to a minimum in hopes not wake Bella. There were times I had no idea who was ahead and could care less. My attention was on the angel sleeping with her head on my shoulder.

The game finally started to wrap up. It was getting to be close to eleven when Charie offered for us to stay with him for the night.

"Why dont you two just camp out here. I mean it's late and Bella looks too comfortable to bother. It's good for her... she needs rest. Lately she's been..." He paused and swallowed hard, worry creasing his forehead.

"What..." I asked him. Sharing a look with my dad across the living room.

Charlie cleared his throat and continued. "She's been waking up screaming... just like... before... almost every night..." He got up from his chair and glanced over to me. "So... You can stay... as long as you'd like Jake... Anything for her."

I nodded to him. " Thanks Charlie."

I could see how much it tore him up to see her go down this road again.

Charlie helped my dad out of his chai,r and settled him into the recliner. "Well night guys... let me know if you need anything. See ya for coffee in the morning." He said, locking the front door, before heading for the stairs to turn in.

Images of Bella waking up in sheer panic, the way she used to, were fresh on my mind, as I sat there in the quiet. My fathers low snoring the only sound now. A few minutes passed before I fell asleep with her.

I awoke a few short hours later to find Bells was no longer beside me. I sat up and glanced over to my father, seeing he was still sound asleep. There was light coming from the kitchen. So I got up and quietly walked in to find Bella standing at the kitchen sink, looking out the window.

"Bells...?"

She didn't answer me or turn around. I walked slowly up to her and touched her shoulder. She jumped back and spun around.

"Sorry... Jake... I... I didn't mean to wake you..." She whispered, glancing to the lit up clock on the stove that read 12:55 a.m.

"No... No... it's okay..." I told her. She gave me half attempt at a smile, before looking down at her shaking hands. I took them in mine.

"You're shaking..."

She nodded. "Yea... I had a... bad dream... Been having a lot of them lately..."

She glanced up at me and tried to say something but then stopped as if she had suddenly thought better of it.

The silence lingering between us was deafening. I had a million things I wanted to say.

"They're mostly about him..." She said, running a nervous hand through her hair.

"I wanna help you... tell me what you need..." I offered, taking her hand in mine. She stared at our laced fingers...

"You already do... more than you know..."

She sighed heavily and sat down at the kitchen table, releasing her hand from mine. I joined her, waiting for her to say whatever was on her mind.

"What the hell was I thinking... That's not how love is supposed to be..." She whispered to herself, looking blankly at the table.

I could see her mind turning. The sound of her racing heart beating like a jack hammer again was a dead give away for where her thoughts were. I wanted to bring her back to reality and not back on that island with him. I stood up and took our jackets off the coat rack as quietly as I could. I handed hers to her.

"Jake... its like one in the morning..." She stated in shock.

"I know... do you trust me...?" I asked with a small smile, reaching for her hand again.

She nodded and hurridly put on her jacket. We left the house trying not to make any noise. I held open the door to her truck for her and offered to drive. She nodded and climbed in the passenger seat, careful not to slam the door and wake both Billy and Charlie.

I started the truck and quietly closed the door, slipping it into gear and coasting out of the driveway, glancing back to see no lights on in the house still.

Once we were on the main road, Bella slid over to me. Laying her head on my shoulder and reaching for my hand.

It was moments like this I had to try like hell not to act on what I felt for this girl. Moments like this... When reasoning and logic seemed to fly right out the damn window. I looked ahead at the road and tried to focus on it as we drove.

"So... where are we headed?" She asked, a hint of laughter on her lips.

"First Beach." I replied.

"At this hour?" She asked .

"Yep.." I nodded to her. "Trust me."

I had never shared with her the many nights I would sit on our driftwood, after a long night of patrolling and just watch the waves. The moon, lighting up the sand around me, and the sound of the ocean, soothing. I would sit for hours sometimes. Just thinking of her.

We were soon there. I parked the truck and got out to open her door for her. She stepped out and reached for my hand, as we walked out to the beach.

"It's beautiful here at night Jake..." She said, looking at the waves crashing ashore as we sat on our piece of driftwood. We had, had many conversations here. Good and bad. I watched her as her face lit up with a brilliant smile. It warmed my heart to see.

"Thanks for bringing me here."

"You're welcome... I thought you might like it."

"It's just what I needed tonight. You know me well..." She replied.

I nodded to her, glancing down at our hands still together resting on my knee. My mind began to wander down the familiar, dangerous road of a future with Bella again. I tried to cocentrate on the waves upon the shore, and ignore all other thoughts. I knew the torture I would surely face later if I didn't.

Many minutes passed before she spoke again. "I didn't think you'd wanna see me..."

"What..." I breathed in reply, turning to her.

"When I went to see Embry... I thought you were already gone. That you'd run just like before but you didn't... you didn't run, Jake..." She lifted her head, her eyes meeting mine.

I stared into them, seeing what had always been there... My future... Our future... what could have been... should have been, if all was right in the world.

I looked away from her, knowing I couldn't keep her stare for long.

"There was no point in running... I tried... I can't run from it..."

"I heard you..." She whispered in reply, still looking at me.

I glanced over to her... "You did..."

I knew exactly what she was reffering to. The howl that ripped through the air the night of her reception. I ran along with his car in the woods until I could no longer see it. Everything in me screaming that this wasn't right.

"I..." She started..."I hated that... what I did to you..."

I looked down at the white sand lit up by the moonlight at our feet. I only could nod. Words escaped me in this moment, and I felt my heart tear slightly open again at the mere memory.

"I never meant for...things to... I mean... I never wanted to hurt you, Jake..."

I glanced back over to her, seeing her shiver, as I took off my jacket and drapped it over her shoulders.

Here..." I said, sitting back down.

"Thanks Jake..."

"You're welcome..." I replied, staring blankly at the ocean again.

She reached her hand up and touched my face, running her fingertips along my jaw.

"You haven't changed... Sue cut your hair since the wedding?"

"Yea... last week..." I replied, barely able to focus on anything but the heat coursing through me from her touch, as she ran her hand through my hair.

"I like it short now ya know... you can see your handsome face more..."

I chuckled..."Thanks."

She removed her hand and stared out to the shore. "It's crazy isn't it?"

"What's that?"

"How you think you know how your life is gonna go one day, only for it to completely change course the next." She sighed.

I could hear it in her voice... the longing for him. I cringed and closed my eyes for a moment, reigning in my anger for the monster who'd turned her world upside down, not once... but twice now... and then only to hear her still miss him.

"Ya... Yeah it is." I said, a bit of an edge to my tone.

She whipped her head to look at me. "Jake .. I..."

"No... No it's fine. I mean... I don't know why I'm surprised. I guess I shouldn't be. Nothing's changed..." I stated to her, standing up and taking a few steps ahead.

She followed me. "It's not the same... everything has changed."

"Everything?"

"Yeah... like you..." She stated, before turning around and starting for the truck.

"Bells.. what... wait a minute." I said, reaching for her arm. She whirled back around eyes rimmed with tears.

"Forget it Jake... please. Just... Take me back home now."

"Where is this coming from? I've changed? How have I changed? "

She pulled her arm away from my grasp, shaking her head in frustration.

"You think I don't notice it... or that I don't see it. But I do... I see the difference in you... Ever since..." She stopped short and shook her head again.

I took a step toward her. "Since ... what..."

"Since the mountain..." She whispered, glancing back up at me. "Things... aren't the same... You're different with me... Guarded almost... and when you ran away like that... I was terrified for you. You think I wanted to hurt you like that? You think I like how things are right now? How screwed up things are... my life is such a mess right now. It's almost like... You're here... but you're not."

She stared at me, looking me in the eyes. I opened my mouth to say something but soon found myself lacking the right words. She was right... I was guarded. I had to be.

Bella took my silence as her answer, as she turned back around and jogged back to the truck. I went after her, stopping her before she opened the passenger side door to get in.

"Bells... it's not like that... I..."

"...Don't love me anymore..." She finished for me. Abruptly turning back to face me.

I looked at her in disbelief, feeling like someone had kicked me in the stomach. Her words stung like a slap in the face.

She spun back around and opened the door to get in. I caught it in my hand and turned her back around to face me once again.

"That's what you think... That I don't... Love you anymore..." I stated, my eyes dead set on hers. I felt my heart rip, as I watched the pain in her eyes reflect back at me, telling me she did believe this.

"I can't blame you... I mean ... I don't blame you... I..." She stopped when I stepped back from her. Feeling myself suddenly become overwhelmed with raw emotion. I could feel the lump in my throat grow, nearly choking me.

"You're wrong... So wrong..." I managed to choke out before turning away from her. The last thing I wanted was for her to see how much this really tore me up.

I had always done well, or at least tried to, with keeping that hell locked away for me to deal with on my own. I never hid my feelings for her. I just hid how much it hurt to watch her reject them time and time again.

You would think by now It wouldn't hurt so much. That maybe I'd grow somewhat numb to it but that wasn't the case. Each time felt just as raw as the last. Bringing fresh pain with it.

"I Am...?" I heard her whisper as she approached me from behind, placing her hand on my arm and pulling me back to look at her. I swallowed hard and faced her.

"Yea... You are..." I breathed. It was all I could manage at the time. I looked into the eyes of the girl I had longed for since I was a child, seeing all what could have been and what I so wanted for there to still be. I looked into them and got lost just as I always did.

She stared back into mine, neither one of us saying anything. I felt the pull... that strong magnetic like pull once again. I fought it, knowing better than to give into it ever again.

I forced myself to look away from her as I pulled the keys to her truck out of my jacket pocket. "Come on... I should get you back home... Don't want Charlie upset ...ok?"

She simply nodded and got in the truck as I closed her door for her and got in myself, starting the truck and heading out of the beach parking lot and back to Forks.

My mind was so full of shit that I could barely focus on the road in front of me. No words were said. The silence was heavy and deafening between us for several miles till we reached the highway.

After a while, Bella slid over to the middle. I breathed in her lavender scent, and listened to her heartbeat. She reached for my hand and than pulled back, like she had suddenly thought better of it. I glanced down to her, seeing her head on my shoulder and took her hand in mine. She glanced up at me, a half smile on her lips. I returned it the best I could and continued on to her house.

When we got there, I cut the engine and coasted into the driveway. Thankful to see no lights or movement inside the house, as Bella lifted her head with a heavy sigh.

"Thanks for... helping me..." She whispered, taking her hand from mine.

"Always..." I replied, passing her the keys.

I got out and opened her door for her. "Such a gentlemen..." She teased as we walked in to the house.

"Thanks. I try." I whispered to her.

"You don't have to try very hard... Just who you are, Jake." She whispered, her eyes meeting mine, as we entered the kitchen. My dad was still asleep in the recliner comfortably in the living room. I glanced up to the ceiling, listening for Charlie but heard nothing.

"He trusts you ya know... He probably wouldn't care."

"I highly doubt that..."... I teased her back.

"I don't..." She said, sitting down with me at the table. "My dad loves you... pretty sure he wishes it was you I had just married, instead of Edward."

I saw the laughter leave her face soon after she said it. I tried to keep a straight face and change the subject, for her sake and my own.

"You should try to get some rest, Bells."

"Yea... I should..." She agreed and got up from the table. "Um ... you need a sleeping bag or a blanket.. or?..." She stammered, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"No... I think I'll be fine Bells... but thanks..."

"Night Jake..." She said, walking to the stairs.

"Night Bells..." I replied, watching her run up the stairs.

I sank back down into the dining room chair, and ran my hands through my hair. I was beyond frustrated. How could she think that I didn't love her anymore? Did she really think my love for her was that conditional. I sighed heavily and listened to the sound of her heartbeat racing from upstairs. I focused on it. The sound had become like a personal song to me.

I continued to listen and heard it race even more. I slowly got up from the table and walked to the foot of the stairs, leaning against the wall and debating on whether I should go up to her.

I waited a few more minutes before taking the stairs two at a time and standing outside her bedroom door. I sighed and raised my hand to knock, only to drop it, and turn back around.

That's when I heard it... her crying. I stopped where I was and looked over my shoulder to her closed bedroom door. My heart and head waring with eachother. Every part of me wanted to be with her. Hold her... But my head silently reminded me of how much heartache I would face when she would inevetably push me away for the tenth time.

I turned back around and leaned against the wall. Still listening to her cry. A small ache in my chest forming at the sound.

I listened till I could stand it no more.

I didn't care if it hurt me in the end, hearing her upset like that and not taking her in my arms, was torture. I raised my hand and tapped twice on her closed bedroom door. I heard her footsteps approach. I knew her well enough to know she was wiping her tears and trying to make herself seem fine. The door slowly opened and she even tried to attempt half a smile for me.

"Hey... " She whispered, glancing up at me with red rimmed eyes.

"Bells..." I replied, looking into her eyes. She sighed and shook her head, glancing down to the floor. I placed my hand under her chin and raised her head back up, stroking her cheek. I went to drop my hand,but she caught it in hers.

"Stay with me?" She breathed, her eyes now focused on our hands together.

"Yea... Always." I breathed in reply to her as she moved back, keeping her hand in mine. I closed her door quietly, in hopes not to wake Charlie who snoring in the next room.

I noticed she was still in her clothes and not changed yet. "Do you think you can sleep?" I whispered to her.

"I'll try..." She replied, keeping her eyes on the floor.

I felt something shift in the air around us, as I looked down at her...Something between us. My own heart began to race now. Matching hers.

"Jake..." She breathed, lifting her head up and looking me in the eyes.

I stepped closer to her...

"I wanna go back..." She breathed.

For a brief moment, I thought she meant the beach but when she leaned into me, and placed her head on my chest, releasing my hand and wrapping her arms around me. It was then, that I knew what she meant.

She began to move back from me soon... too soon. I reluctantly released her and watched a mix of emotions play out in her eyes as they found mine again. She slowly reached down and took her pajamas off the bed.

"I'm gonna change. I'll be right out." She said softly, leaving the room.

I nodded to her before she left, glancing over to the many pictures she had on the wall above her computer desk.

I thought back to the last time I had been in her room, it seemed like a lifetime ago. but in reality was only a few months. I stared at the pictures, seeing them all there. I couldn't help but smile when I saw several of us tacked up next to ones of her and her father, along with several of her and Renee from Florida a few years ago. There was a black and white one of me in jeans and a sweater on first beach last fall with a football in my hand, and a smile on my face.

I shook my head a bit, not even remembering when exactly she had taken this one. I touched the edge of it, trying to remember as something fell out from behind it. A folded piece of notebook paper hit the floor. I glanced down and took it in my hands. My name was on the front. "Dear Jacob..." I glanced to the door and listened to see if Bella was coming back yet. I heard the faucet running in the bathroom and knew she would be another couple of minutes.

My eyes fell once again to the note in my hand that was still folded. Should I read it? It is addressed to me... But it's hers... And if she had wanted me to have it, she would have given it to me herself and not tucked it away behind the picture instead.

After thinking it out a few more seconds, my curiousity got the best of me and I opened the folded note. It read:

Dear Jacob...

It's midnight now... the night before my wedding. I cant't sleep... I have tried but everytime I close my eyes... your face is what I see. Your warm laughter is what I hear, and your warm hugs are what I feel. I have paced the floor most of the night, pondering where you could be and hating how much I hurt you.

When I was shattered and broken, you picked up the pieces and put me back together. I miss you so much it hurts. I miss your warm embrace and your sincere smile. And all of our many talks. The memory of how much I hurt you haunts me daily. I drive by the reservation weekly to see if you have returned home. The red house I've grown to love so much over the years is simply not the same without you Jake.. I miss you running out of the garage to greet me when I pulled in. I wish more than ever that there was a way I could see you one more time. I hope some day you can find it in your heart to forgive me Jake. I know I don't deserve it. You have been there for me and saved me more times than I deserve. It hurts me more than you know that I walked away from you. It is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. My heart was screaming at me to turn around... to go back, and even now. My heart feels torn, ripped in half somehow. I know when I am changed that you will hate me forever. That what we had will just dissapear, and we'll never be the way we were. So I want to tell you this now, in case I don't see you before...

I love you Jacob. For so many reasons I love you. I know in my heart that time, or even my transformation won't change that. I will always love you. Please remember that, and hold on to the memories of what we shared. For I know they will stay in my heart forever Jacob. You hold so much of my heart... beating or not...

Love,

Bells

My hands were shaking when I read the last line of her letter. I swallowed hard at the lump in my throat and sat down on the edge of her bed as I reread one line again and again... "I love you Jacob... You hold so much of my heart... Beating or not."

I heard Bella's footsteps coming down the hall and as hard as I tried to compose myself and put the note back behind the picture. I couldn't convince my body to move even though my mind told me to.

Bella now stood in her doorway. She saw the note in my hand and sighed as she shut her door again. She walked up to me slowly, her eyes on mine.

"I... I'm sorry... I shouldn't have..." I started but she stopped me.

"It's yours Jake... I wrote it with every intention of you reading it sometime... I guess now is that time."

I stared up at her. Not able to say anything. I simply folded the note and set in on her nightstand.

I got to my feet and wandered over to her window, looking out into dead of night. Her written words, now echoing in my head... "I love you Jacob."

A sudden memory of how her lips felt against mine on the mountain swept over me as I stared out the window.

I felt Bella's hand reach for mine, pulling me back slowly to face her as I cleared my throat and locked eyes again with her.

"I didn't mean to upset you..." She whispered. "I... I wanted you to know... I mean in case..." She stopped and glanced down.

"In case what..." I breathed in reply to her. I heard her heart begin to beat rapidly when I stepped closer to her, leaving a few inches between us. It was certainly something I was used to. Whenever I was in arms reach of her, her heart would beat wild, like hummingbird wings in the summer. Followed by her cheeks flushing as she would nervously tuck her hair behind her ear. These little things I always noticed and treasured.

She placed her free hand on my chest over my heart, staring at it. "In case... I never ... saw you again... in case what I feared most came true... that you would hate me. That we would be enemies forever. That I would never feel this... again..." She said, glancing up at me.

"This?" I breathed to her, my heart pounding loudly in my chest.

"Warmth... you..." She stammered over the last word.

I couldn't take my eyes from hers as she continued... "Do you know what I feared... really feared when I changed... it wasn't the pain I had heard about... or even that I might kill someone before I learned to control myself... What I feared the most... was never being able to see you. Or that when you did see me again... you would truly hate me... or even kill me..."

I couldn't help my reaction. I pulled her flush to me and felt a shudder course through her. "Bells..."

She stared up at me while I searched for the right words...

"I... I could never hate you."

I thought back again to the many times I had pondered what I would do if she wanted me after she was transformed into one of them. If the years went by and she changed her mind and came running back. I wouldn't be able to turn her down, or push her away. Even if my destiny and who I was in this world made it forbidden. I'd break every damn rule and see her anyway. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt in my heart that this was true. I would take her anyway, love her anyway...

Bella saw my struggle. "Tell me..." She breathed. "Please... what are you thinking..."

"I would love you anyway..."

She looked up at me now with a wide eyed expression. "What..." She mouthed. "But..."

"No... No buts... Bella, I'd go against what I am for you. I'd break every damn rule there was that made our love forbidden."

"But I wouldn't be able to give you childen and I wouldn't be the same Bella you loved..."

I reached my hand up slowly, and touched her cheek with the backs of my fingers. Running them down to the top of her white turtleneck sweater she had thrown on for bed. An instant blush came to her cheeks, as I leaned into her.

"I would miss this so much..." I said, caressing her cheek. "But I would love you anyway... in any form..."

I moved my hand back to the top of her turtlneck, lingering it there, taking note that she'd been wearing these a lot lately.

I saw the immediate fear flash in her eyes, as I slowly moved my hand down. She abruptly stepped back and tugged the sweater back up around her neck again. She backed away from me. Nearly tripping over herself to move away before slowly sitting down on her bed, a blank expression on her face. I clenched my fists and swallowed hard. I knew what she was hiding. My stomach heaved at the thought and my inner wolf raged, sending a searing heat coursing through my very core. I took a few deep breaths and reigned it all in. For Bella, I had to.

I slowly walked over to her, reaching for her. She took my hands and stood up. Her eyes down cast, her hand still holding the top of her sweater. I reached for it and took it securely in mine.

She shook, as I stepped closer to her and I watched with horror, as the tears spilled down her face.

I felt my blood run cold, seeing her sweep her hair over to one side, pulling the turtleneck sweater down, revealing a large bruise just two inches abover her collar bone.

I reached up and watched her flinch away from me before my hand touched it. She spun around and wouldn't look at me. I swallowed hard, forcing myself to push the rage I felt for that demon down for now. I crossed the room to where Bella was now and wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her back to me.

"Bells..." I whispered to her, pressing my cheek to hers. She shook like a leaf in my arms and rapidly wiped away her tears.

"Honey... I've got you..." I said, tightening my arms around her.

She winced when I did and I immediately released her.

She turned in my arms. "No... No Jake it's not you... it's no your fault..."

Realization struck me hard at her words. My eyes roamed over her body, only imagining why she winced.

I felt thick rage crash into me for the monster who had laid his stone cold hands on her. For the one who had hurt her so much in that way. To say I hated him was a vast understatement. I was at war with myself once again... Every fiber of my being wanted to find that sick monster and rip him to shreds... to make him pay for what he'd done to Bella, but as I stared into the eyes of the brown eyed girl who'd had my heart since we were kids, I couldn't. She needed me more, and leaving her in reckless rage to worry for me, would be selfish. So I shut my mouth and clenched my fists. I sucked in a sharp breath and turned away from her, trying to control the inner wolf that was on the verge of swallowing me whole in this moment.

Vivid images ran wild like fire through my head of what he'd done to her on that island, and then to make matters worse... a sickening small voice pounded through my mind. He took her to a damn island... far away from anything and everyone who cared for her. I shook violently with tremors as I pondered this over and over in my head... He wanted to get her as alone as possible... so no one would hear her screams.

I swallowed the bile that rose in my throat, running my hand through my hair. I felt Bella's hand touch my arm, and fliched from being completely distracted in my own thoughts. I glanced over to her.

She took one look into my eyes and went pale. Like she could read my thoughts. As if my realization was now on display for her to see as well.

She shook her head and spun around away from me again. I caught her arm...

"Bella..."

"No..." She breathed..."No... he... he ...I mean... He wouldn't..." She began to defend him.

I shook my head, my tremors almost becoming too much for me to control. I knew I was losing control here and stepped away from her. She took a few steps toward me and I stopped her, fearing greatly the consequences.

"Bella... dont... please..."

"He wouldn't intentionally..." She began.

"What..." I breathed, feeling shocked. How could she defend him... even now.

"He..." She started. I could no longer contain my anger.

"He Did hurt you... intentionally Bella!" I yelled reply

She shook her head. "No..."

"Yes..." I stated firmly and walked out of her room.

She followed me. I had to get away from her, for her own safety. I was in no shape to be around her right now. My anger was too great, and I wouldn't put her in imminent danger like that... Not ever... or for anything.

I thought back to Emily and Sam and how much Sam hated himself to this day for what he'd done to Emily. I ran down the stairs and out the front door.

"Jake! Jacob Wait!" She yelled from behind me. "You're just gonna leave..." Her voice breaking on the last word. I stopped and turned around abruptly to face her.

"I have to... I just can't be here right now. I won't put you at risk like that. I need a few minutes to calm down."

"You don't understand. You just don't..." She yelled and turned around to go inside.

I watched her walk in and shut the door, feeling sick to my stomach.

She was sure as hell right about that... I couldn't... I would never understand why she always defended him.

It was almost like she just expected him to hurt her sometime and it was okay. I knew he was a Souless monster before now. There was no doubt in my mind before. But this was crossing a line... even for him. He stole something from her that she could never get back, scaring her in ways that may never heal and I hated him for that even more.

How many times had I envisioned her being intimate with me... Making love to her the way it should be.

I shook as the tremors rocked through me while running back into the woods. Once I was in the clear from being spotted, I stripped and phased, letting the wolf within me take control. I ran fast through the dense forest, heading straight for La Push.

I took the long way home, taking advantage of running off some steam. I phased back, and pulled my shorts back on when I reached the border of my back yard. I noticed lights on in the house and jogged up the front steps and through the door. I was soaked from head to toe from the rain that was now falling in buckets outside.

"Jake?" I heard my fathers voice call me fron the kitchen. "That you?"

"Ya dad... it's just me..." I stated wandering in with him. "You're up early... even for you..."

"Ya... had a lot on my mind. Couldn't sleep. I didn't expect you back yet. Thought you'd stay at Bella's longer?"

I sighed... "Yeah so did I..."

"Something happen?"

My father was never one to beat around the bush. Always getting straight to the point.

"It's nothing..." I answered, pouring myself a cup of coffee.

"Doesn't seem like nothing." My dad replied in a mutter, overlooking his paper. I sighed again and set my coffee on the table.

"It's really nothing... I'm gonna take a shower..." I replied, heading for my room to get clean clothes.

"She loves you Jake." My father stated.

I stopped in my tracks, and felt the familiar stabbing pain return to my chest again. I turned around to look my father in the eyes.

A silence lingered between us. I just stared at him, feeling like I couldn't speak right now even if I tried. My father saw my pain and wheeled himself over to me.

"Son... You know it's true. Don't close yourself off to her. Anything worth having is worth fighting for.

"You're wrong..." I stated, looking down to him. I went to turn away and felt his hand grab my arm, stopping me.

"No... No I'm not... I know."

I swallowed hard, feeling my anger start to grow. It wasn't directed at my father but more at myself and the frustration with this whole situation.

"You know what?" I asked, my tone revealing my anger. My father released my arm and narrowed his eyes at me.

"I know what I see between the two of you."

I couldn't take it anymore and I wasn't about to take my anger out on my dad. So I started for my room again, trying to avoid this but he was relentless.

"You're just scared Jake." He hollared after me as I went in my room and grabbed a clean black T-shirt and jeans. I came back out and headed for the bathroom with my father still staring at me. He wouldn't let up.

"Are you gonna run off again like before. Try to run from what your heart is telling you... what it's been telling you all along? Is that what you're thinking about doing? Well good luck... When it comes to love like that... Miles and miles don't matter. It's just as strong as if your standing right next to her. You can't run away from it. What's gonna happen a few years down the road? You gonna try and move on? Date someone new? Maybe even marry that girl? Because you and I both know your heart won't be in it. You'll always wonder what might have been. Is that what you want?"

I had taken all I could. I spun around, my heart shredding with every word he spoke. Worse of all... I knew they were true. I would never love anyone the way I loved Bella. If I ever did try to move on without her, my heart would belong to her still, and that wouldn't be fair to me or the other person.

"You think I don't know that?" I seethed. "You think that I don't think about that every damn hour of every damn day. She chose dad! She chose to leave what we had and to marry the leech! Remember! I gave her everything... all of me... I put all of me on the line for her. Showing her what she meant to me. How much I loved her, and at the end of the day it still wasn't enough. My bones weren't the only thing that got broken that day in the battle with the newborns. She made it clear how she felt. That she loved me but it wasn't enough. She married Edward Anyway. That was her choice. Yes... I ran away, I had to! It was ripping me apart to see her with him. Knowing that she was going to marry him and he would change her. That she would become my sworn enemy forever. There would be no more Bella. Whatever we had would die with her when he changed her. So I had to get away but youre' right... Miles don't matter. Because she stayed with me... everywhere.. all the time..." I finished and watched my fathers expression of understanding reflect back at me.

"She never loved him like she loves you. I don't care what she says. I've watched that girl grow up and what the two of you share goes beyond reason... or time... or even immortal. She loves you completely... So much so that she came running back here when he hurt her." My fathers eyes flashed with anger when he spoke. A look I rarely saw from him. I stared at him, trying to find the right reply.

"Ya... that's right... I know what he did to her. I knew the moment she came home. The moment I saw her. The second her eyes met mine from across the room. I saw one thing in them... hurt. Something you would never put there." I saw the truth in his words as he looked up at me. " He shattered her. Just like before... only worse. " He finished and wheeled himself away from me, back into the kitchen. My eyes followed him, debating on whether to continue this with him.

I reluctantly walked into the kitchen as he glanced up at me from the table.

"You want to know how I know that what the two of you share is real son?" He asked. I couldn't answer... I could only look at him.

"It's because you look at her the same way I used to look at your mother. Over time... I've watched you with her. How you are with her. Always putting her first, even if you don't realize it."

I felt my heart tear open for the millionth time as I listened to him:

"You're lucky to find love like that once in a lifetime. A love that see's you through anything. Bella didn't ask to be in the supernatural world she's in now. She was thrown into it... much like you were. I hated turning her away when you first joined the pack, she was so desperate to get in touch with you, and I knew your fear son... that she would't want to know you anymore when she learned what you'd become. She loved you anyway. The two of you equal eachother out... Like two halves of a whole. Neither one of you make much sense without the other." He sighed and went back to reading his paper.

I walked in the bathroom and shut the door behind me, now staring at my reflection. Thinking on what my dad had just said.

All he spoke was the truth. There was no denying that. " Because you look at her the same way I used to look at your mother. " The words echoing in my head as I stripped and took a hot shower. The water relaxing my muscles. I ran my hands through my hair, frustrated beyond belief. " Like two halves of a whole..." More words running through my head. I shut the shower off and stepped out, drying quickly and putting on clean boxers and my jeans before shaving.

I finished getting ready for the day and exited the bathroom a short time later to see my dad still reading the paper with a now empty cup of coffee. I grabbed his mug and filled it up for him, setting it down next to the paper.

"Thanks son." He replied."Gonna head in to town soon. Got some errands to run."

"I can do them..." I offered, seeing it still pour outside.

"No No...Tim's picking me up soon anyway. Why don't you catch up on some sleep... your patroling with Sam tonight right?"

"Yeah... I probably should."

There was a honk from outside. "Well that'd be him."

Tim was one of dad's old friends. He'd been helping take dad to town for years now. Owned a nice small house at the end of the reservation himself, lived alone with one daughter who was now married and living happily in Rhode island with her kids.

We were always grateful to him for helping dad out so much. I got up and started to help wheel dad outside. He shook his head.

"Don't worry about me son. I got it. Be back soon." He said as he wheeled out the front door. I nodded and watched Tim help him into the truck and load his chair into the back. He waved to me.

"How's it going Jake?" He added before getting back in the drivers seat.

"Good thanks Tim" I replied and waved in return. They drove off as I shut the door and glanced around the house. Normally I'd take a few hours and clean up, but thanks to Sue, she'd been here last night and the house was remaining pretty spotless.

I grabbed my cell phone and dialed Leah and Seths number, hoping Sue would be home so I could properly thank her for all she'd been doing around here for dad.

One ring... Two ring... Three ring... "Hello?" Sue answered.

"Hey Sue. This is Jacob."

"Well hello there stranger. How are you? Everything alright?" She asked.

I smiled at her worry... "Yea... I just wanted to say thank you for taking such good care of dad and the house lately... Never seen it this clean." I chuckled and so did she.

"Oh your more than welcome. I know how glad your dad is to have you back home but I know what a crazy schedule you boys are running now with Sam. Poor seth barely has time to sleep. So It's no bother for me to clean up every few days hun. Don't even worry about it."

"Thanks Sue... Really..." I replied. Her generosity never ceased to amaze me. Always looking to help others.

"So uh... I know it's probably none of my concern, but how's Bella doing ? I saw Charlie yesterday in town and he seemed real worried for her. Almost like before."

I swallowed hard and glanced down at the floor. She's doing okay... She has the support from Charlie she needs..."

"Well... and You of course." She replied.

I sighed. "Yea... of course..."

"She's lucky to have you Jacob. Your a good guy. Your mom would have been real proud of the man your becoming you know?"

I winced a bit at the mention of mom. How I missed her. Now more than ever. "I hope so... "

"Oh trust me... she would hun. She really would. Well I got some breakfast on the stove here for the kids and dont want it black. So I better get back to it. You know... you're more than welcome to come over and join us if you'd like Jake. there's always room for at least one more at our table."

I smiled. "Thanks Sue... I really appreciate that but I'm actually gonna take a nap."

"I think that's probably wise. You guys sure do need your rest. Well if you change your mind. You know our door is always open. We'll talk to you soon Jake."

"Okay... Thanks Sue... For everything. Bye..."

"Bye now..." She replied. I hit the end button and set my phone on the coffee table. Listening to the rain pour outside, as I got up and headed for my room to crash.

A sudden knock on my front door stopped me. I sighed and walked toward the door to answer it. The knock came again before I reached it. This time louder and more urgent sounding. I whipped it open to see a drenched Charlie standing there. "Where's Bella?" He asked, eyes full of panic. He stepped in and started to pace in front of me.

"She was at home." I replied looking at him, feeling a sense of my own panic start.

"She's gone Jake... Her trucks in the yard, but she is gone. I've called everyone I can think of on the way here. No one has seen her. I've called her cell at least twenty times... it's going straight to voicemail now."

His eyes met mine and I could see the true fear in them for her. I knew what he feared most. That this would be just like the last time when Sam found her.

"When was the last time you talked to her?" I asked, with a bit of panic in my own tone.

"Right after you left. She told me you went home and I told her my shift was done and I'd be home soon with some breakfast for her. She said thanks and we hung up. That was... two hours ago and when I arrived home she was just gone Jake. The last time this..." He stopped and sighed before starting to pace again and glancing down at his cell phone.

"Okay... I'm gonna call Sam..."

He nodded..."Okay I'll go to the station... See if I can't put an APB out... This isn't like her ... she said she would be home and then not to return my calls. Somethings off here..."

"I will call you as soon as I hear anything, Charlie. We'll find her." I reassured him.

He patted my shoulder. "Thank you ..." He said as he headed for the door. I followed him and grabbed my phone. I pretended to call Sam as he left but the moment he was out of sight, I ran back inside and tossed my phone on the couch. I stripped off my shirt and ran back out into the rain, sprinting full speed for the forest. I let the heat spread though my body as thoughts of Bells crossed my mind. I phased mid run and let out an ear piercing howl. I knew Sam and the others would hear it and come running. I ran toward the point we always met... The Lumber Yard. Tree's blurred around me as I ran. Thoughts of how I had just left things with her weighing heavy on my mind. Her words coming back to me.

"You don't understand... You just don't understand..." The image of her walking into the house this morning weighing heavily on my mind as I huffed and pushed myself all the harder. Flying with new speed. Soon my thoughts were no longer my own.

"Jake what is it? " Sam asked, demanding alpha authority in his tone.

"Bella's missing..."

"What... where was she last?" He asked, reading my mind and seeing all we had said to one another last night. I laid it all out there for him to see, so he would know exactly where we were.

"Okay... We need to get with the others and form a plan to spread out. The rain has picked up and the temperature is dropping. It's cold out here... too cold for her if she's out in this for long."

Soon we broke from the forest barrier and were met with Leah, Seth, Paul, Quil, Jared, Embry, Colin, and Brady. They were each full of questions. The madness giving me a headache.

"Where is she? Charlie must be worried sick?" Thought Seth.

"It's that damn leeche's fault." Added Paul, as he paced in front of us.

"Yea... always wrecking her... over and over." Added Quil.

"When did you see her last, Jake?" asked Embry.

"Where do we start? " Chimed in Leah.

My head was beyond full. Sam spoke up. Silencing everyone.

"Okay Listen up...We need to spread out in groups of two or have to get going, as you know the rain and cold are working against us. We all know Bella's scent. None better than Jacob. So Paul, Embry, Quil... your a group. Leah, Seth, Colin... the three of you start at Bella's house and work your way back to La push from there. Check every inch of the forest. don't miss anything. Paul.. your group is to search the Forks Border. Run the forest line there... twice if you have to... Brady... you're coming with me, and Jake..." He stated, pausing and turning to face me. "You know her best... how she thinks. I know you'll do better on your own with this than in a group. If anything happens, let out a signal. We'll come to you immediately." He nodded to me. I returned the nod in agreement. Sam turned back to face the others. "We all meet back here in two hours. If any new scent comes up... any new trail... signal. That's an order. Let's go..." He stated. Everyone scattered and ran off. "We'll meet you back here Jake." Sam said to me as he and Brady dashed into the woods.

I glanced all around and couldn't help but think back to our fight this morning. I would never forgive myself if something happened to her. I took off and made a run for Forks. My mind racing with all we had talked about. I ran straight to her house first. Checking to see if Charlie was back yet. He wasn't. I phased back in the cover of the tree and pulled on my jeans.

I ran up the steps and found that the door was unlocked so I went in. I normally wouldn't have been so rude but I was desperate to find something... anything that might tell me where she'd gone. I dashed up over the stairs and entered her room. Her lamp and laptop were still on. I looked down at the screen to see an email she had started to type to Renee. I skimmed it and stopped when I saw my name. I went back to the beginning and read it. Hoping this may tell me where she was now. It read :

Dear mom...

I know I should have emailed you sooner. I'm sorry and I hope you forgive me for being so late. A lot has happened since the last time we spoke. I am no longer with Edward. I know this will come as a shock to you and I wish I could offer you more of an explanation other than ... It just wasn't where I belonged. There is so much more to tell you and I hope someday that maybe I can but for now this is all I can offer. Please be patient and understanding with me. I'm back home now with dad in Forks. Everyone here has been so supportive. Jacob has been... amazing. Even after everything I did to him. All the hurt I caused him. He's still my very best friend. The one person I trust to never hurt me. Please call me as soon as you get this. I love you.

Sincerely,

- Bella -

I closed her laptop and felt immediately guilty for reading her private email to her mom. If I wasn't so desperate to find her now, I would have never betrayed her privacy like that. Bella trusted me and I would never want to betray that trust... not for anything.

I glanced around the room again. Hoping for something to catch my eye. Unfortunately nothing stood out to me. I was wasting time when I had no time to waste.

I ran back downstairs and out the door. The rain hadn't let up, and the temperature was dropping fast. My worry for her grew as I took cover in the trees, stripping again and tying my soaaked jeans around the leather cord to my ankle before phasing. My paws hit the wet forest ground. My senses in overdrive. My heart hammering loudly within my chest. I was suddenly surrounded with thoughts, as the rest of the pack filled me in.

"Nothing yet Jake. Where would she go." Asked a frantic Quil.

"I don't know Quil. I checked her room, trying to see if anything stood out that would tell me where she may be... But no luck there either. Keep looking." I replied in thought.

"It's damn near freezing out here Jake..." Added Leah her tone wary.

"We'll keep going..." Seth chimed in.

My thoughts were wild with images of Bella. How much hurt she'd been through lately. I cringed inwardly as I thought back to her cliff diving experiment before that nearly cost her, her life. I couldn't help the whine that escaped me at the memory. If I hadn't been there in time... I shuddered at the thought.

Severe dread hit me as I pondered everything she'd been through. A small voice in the back of my head, one I was hell bent on ignoring, started to grow louder by the minute. I ran through our fight this morning again in my head...

"He did hurt you on purpose Bella..."

"You don't understand Jake... You just don't understand..."

Her words on repeat in my head. I stopped running, my pace faultering a bit.

I came to dead holt. Fear gripping me as I thought of how our fight may look to her. Like the one person she trusted in all this, now didn't understand her anymore.

Regret hit me hard. I shouldn't have left things the way they were this morning. I should of gone back. I was an idiot. I knew how broken he had left her the last time, and what it drove her to almost do. That was nothing compared to what she had been through this time.

The small voice in my head was now screaming as a sick feeling crept over me... Was she to that dark place again. Would she do something to hurt herself.

The wind whipped around me as I stood there, surrounded by dense forest and lost in my thoughts.

"Where are you, honey." I thought to myself.

When she was that desperate before. She had gone to the cliffs...

I took off running as fast as I could. I knew if I had any hope of saving her. I'd have to run like hell and hope I wasn't too late already.

I flew there. My legs running faster than ever before, pushing myself harder then I even knew possible.

I was running on pure adrenaline. New heat coursed through me, as my speed increased. I stopped suddenly when I smelled her. Her lilac scent surrounded me, as I neared the cliffs. Relief and dread both hit me hard like a freight train. I took off again, her scent growing stronger with every stride I took. She was close. So close I could almost touch her.

I listened closely for the sound my very life depended on... Her heartbeat. It was there and it was strong. I slowed my pace and walked closer to the border of the trees. My eyes fell on her then and my heart soared to see her in one piece still. I phased back in a hurry and pulled on my drenched jeans.

The rain still falling in buckets. I glanced up and felt my heart nearly stop as I watched her stand up suddenly and walk over to the edge of the cliff. She stripped off her jacket, and tossed it to the ground. Her heart was beating so fast, it was like a jack hammer now.

I didn't have time to think. I just reacted. I ran to her, bursting through the trees.

She leaned outward, getting ready to jump as I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her in one quick movement back against me.

"Don't." I breathed to her. Pressing her to me now. She was soaked to the bone and shaking uncontrollably.

She spun around in my arms, her eyes wide as she looked at me. She suddenly moved away from me. Her eyes full of pain.

"Jake..." She whispered. "How... How did you?" She began to ask.

"I came looking for you." I said to her, taking a few steps closer to her. She grabbed her jacket and placed it back on. Still shivering.

I stared at her. My whole being wanting nothing more than to take her back in my arms and hold her where she belonged.

She turned and started walking back into the woods. I followed her and saw her stop a few feet ahead of me. I watched her closely as she slowly turned around. Her eyes meeting mine with so much hurt in them it damn near broke me.

"I'm sorry." She said.

I closed the distance between, and swept her up in my arms.

"You're freezing. I've gotta get you warm." I replied, as I began to run with her.

I made quick time and was in my back yard with her before I knew it. I burst through my front door with her. My fathers eyes grew wide when he saw me carrying her and that state she was in. She was shaking from head to toe.

"Jake..." My father began... "I'll get some blankets." He said, wheeling down the hall to retrieve them from the closet. He handed them to me. "Here Son."

I took them from him and attempted to lay Bella on the couch. She hung onto me, and I felt her nestle her face into my neck. my father gave me a look as I sat down on the couch with her still in my arms. I wrapped the blanket around her and pressed her as close to me as she could be. Her shaking continued, causing my worry to grow all the more.

The last thing I wanted was for her to get really sick from this, or worse. She'd been out on that cliff for hours in the cold pouring rain. Her clothes were soaked through, leaving her cold to the bone. I feared my body heat wouldn't be enough.

"I'll call Charlie and let him know she is here. I'll call Emily to tell sam, too."My father said, as he wheeled himself into the kitchen, a look of real concern on his face for Bella.

I felt her hand reach for mine, lacing our fingers together as I leaned my face down closer to hers.

"Bells... I should take you to the hospital."

She looked up at me, fear in her brown eyes. "No..." She breathed.."No please... No doctors." She finished through chattering teeth.

"Honey..." I protested, but stopped when she looked at me again. The pleading in her eyes made me drop it immediately.

A sick feeling crept over me as I thought of the many reasons why she wouldn't want to be seen by a doctor right now. Bella had never been big on hospitals, but this was different. She was terriffied. I could feel it.

She nestled her face back into my neck and held tightly to my hand. My father wheeled himself back in, a grim look on his face as he glanced down to her in my arms.

"Charlie is on his way, and Emily said she will notify Sam and the others that she is here with you now."

"Thanks dad. I replied.

"Jake... she should be seen by a doctor."

I felt Bella squeeze my hand, and heard her heartbeat start to race at the mention of it. I gave my dad a knowing look, and he read my mind. He nodded in understanding, that look of anger from earlier today coming back to him now.

I stroked the top of her hand with my thumb, and tightened the arm I had around her.

Her breathing slowed and her heart slowly stopped racing.

My dad wheeled himself back out to the kitchen, and waited for Charlie to arrive.

I felt utterly helpless. My body heat would do nothing for her as long as she remained in drenched clothes. I thought of how nervous she was before our fight. When I realized why she was wearing the turtleneck sweaters so much lately. I had to do something, or she would never get warm.

I leaned into her again. "Honey..." She glanced up at me... "Do you trust me..." I whispered to her. Her eyes never leaving mine. She nodded slowly. "Come with me?"

She slowly nodded again.

I stood up with her, keeping the blanket around her and took her into my room. I shut the door and set her down on her feet. Keeping one arm around her.

She clung to me as I grabbed one of my flannels and handed it to her. I chose her favorite. The red and black one she always complimented me on. I searched my drawers frantically, looking for my black sweatpants. " Here..."

She looked up at me, quickly taking them from me. I could feel her fear and I hated that he'd done that to her. "I can't get you warm in these." I explained, touching her soaked jacket.

"Okay..." She whispered.

"I'll let you change in here..." I offered.

She nodded as I pulled myself away from her. The loss of contact from me causing a violent shudder to course through her. I inwardly cringed, as I saw how truly frozen she was.

I slowly shut the door to my room and leaned my head back against it, as I listened to her every move. Being sure she was okay. I could still hear her teeth chattering.

My dad came up to me. "She gonna be okay son?"

"I hope so..." I replied, and I meant it in more ways than just one.

I heard her footsteps coming to my door and turned around as she opened it. She wrapped her arm around my waist, pressing herself to me. "Thanks." She said.

I nodded to her and took her back with me over to the couch. I wrapped her back up in a new blanket and hoped she would warm up soon as I took her hand in mine once again. She gave me half a smile and laid her head on my shoulder.

Soon there was an urgent knock at the door, and Charlie came in soaked and nearly tripping over himself, seeing Bella now safe with me.

"Bella! Where were you... Are you okay, honey?" He asked, sitting next to her.

"Yea..." She managed to get out, still keeping herself pressed up against me.

"You're so cold... Come on... I'll take you to -"

"No!" She gasped and glanced up to me, eyes pleading with my own to help her. I thought quick...

"She's warming up, I gave her some of my clothes to use till hers dry..."

"Thank you Jake... for everything... I had half the town out looking for her. Where were you Isabella..." Charlie asked, his tone a bit more stern.

"I..." Bella tried to explain, seeing her struggle to come up with something believable for him. I squeezed her hand in mine under the blanket and finished for her.

"She wanted to see the beach ... at night... She went earlier and didn't think it would get so cold. She got... turned around, a little lost is all..."

Charlie nodded with a heavy sigh..."Okay... well I'm glad your okay." He stated, kissing her forehead.

"I love you. I'm sorry to have scared you like that dad."

"It's okay... the important thing is your alright." He replied.

"Yes that's the important thing Charlie " My dad added... "She's more than welcome to stay..."

Charlie glanced down at us as he stood up. "Bella? Is that what you want to do?"

"Yea... If that's okay..." She answered.

"Of course it is. Just please promise me to get some rest. And call me first thing in the morning."

"I will dad. I love you." She replied.

"I love you too, Bella." He sighed.

My father and charlie went into the kitchen, a lot of low murmuring going on.

"I can... go... if..." She began.

"... No..." I breathed to her, pulling her in closer to me. The last thing I wanted her to do was go.

Charlie soon left and my dad came wheeling in soon after. Jake... Tim just called and wants me over for some fish he caught earlier for supper. I should stay there tonight... with the rain and all..." He said giving me a well knowing nod. I knew this was just his way of giving me alone time with Bella and for that, I was grateful.

"Okay... call me if you need anything."

"Will do son." He replied as the honk from Tim came from outside.

"Billy..." Bella lifted her head from my shoulder. "Thank you... for letting me stay."

My dad smiled and simply shook his head. "No need to thank me, hun. You're always welcome here. No matter what time. Think of this as your second home... always." He replied with a wave as he left. I got up and watched him head out, being sure he was okay in the rain before sitting back down with Bella. She quickly nestled back into me and closed her eyes. Her shaking had nearly stopped completely. I began to breath a bit easier as It subsided, seeing the color came back to her cheeks soon after. We were silent for a while.

A few minutes passed and I glanced down to see she was sound asleep. Relief flooded through me as I thought back to what a huge bullet we had dodged today. The image of her nearly jumping off that cliff again, was on replay in my mind. Everytime I closed my eyes I could see it plain as day. If I had been there five minutes later this night would have ended very differently. A chill ran though me at the thought of never having her with me again. I tightened my arm around her. She moved herself in her sleep closer to me.

"Jacob..." She whispered in her sleep. So low you could barely hear it... "My Jacob." I closed my eyes and fell asleep with her, counting my blessings that she was okay.

I woke up hours later to thunder and lightning. The sound jumping Bella a bit. She stirred and suddenly bolted upright out of my arms, looking all around her. I moved with her, taking her hand back in mine, as she turned her head to glance back at me.

"Sorry..." She whispered.

"Don't be... How do you feel? "

"Not cold anymore." She answered.

"Good... You had me worried..."

"I wasn't... I mean... I didn't..." She stopped when her eyes met mine again, settling back in next to me, our hands still laced together.

I thought back to how terrified I was when she nearly drowned the last time she was at the cliffs. This was twice I'd almost lost her that way. I swallowed hard.

"Do you know what would of happened to Charlie if you'd..."

"I know..." She whispered.

"Do you?" I asked.

She glanced up at me. "I'm sorry... "

"Is that why you went there? To... jump... like before..." My tone with her barely above a whisper.

"Yes." She replied. I closed my eyes, hating that she was in that dark place again.

I would do whatever it took to get her out of it.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own any of The Twilight Sage Series. They belong to Stephanie Meyer.

**CHAPTER 4**

(Jacobs POV Continued...)

I continued to question her. I wanted ... No... I needed to know...

I had been so close to losing her. The thought that she was so willing to jump like that let me know just how dark things really were for her right now.

"Is that why you went there? To... jump... like before..." I asked, my tone barely above a whisper.

"Yes." She replied. I closed my eyes and felt sick at her answer.

"Why..." I breathed. Feeling that lump in my throat return.

She went silent. Not answering me. The silence growing louder between us by the second.

I couldn't stop the guilty feeling that overwhelmed me as I waited for her to say something... anything.

"I wanted to feel something... Lately ... I feel... numb... all the time. So when I thought about the last time I'd felt such a rush... cliff diving was what came to mind."

Her answer gave me little to no comfort or relief but I could relate to her more than she knew.

I stared down at our hands together. Her words weighing heavy on me.

"I know what you mean..."

Bella glanced up suddenly. "You do?" She asked.

"Yeah..." I replied. Not meeting her stare.

"What... what do you mean..?" She replied.

I willed myself to look her in the eyes. Although it wasn't easy.

"When someone you love... goes away... that hurt... that pain can be so great that it's too much to handle...so you grow numb to it, and everything else as a way of... coping..." My mind wandered back to my own personal hell when I'd spent months running in wolf form. Trying anything to escape the pain of losing her. I glanced back down at our hands together resting on my knee.

"Thats... That's how you felt... when you ... ran away...?"

"Yeah." I whispered in reply.

Thunder shook the house then. A loud bang, echoing off the tree's around us outside. The lights suddenly went out. Bella jumped and I couldn't help but chuckle. She playfully hit my arm in response.

"Jake!" She laughed.

"Okay... Okay... I'm sorry!"

"You can't see anything!" She teased. As I went to get up from the couch to find some flashlights and candles. Her hand tightened in mine.

"Wait! Where are you going!" She asked panic in her tone.

"Well if you wanna see...I have to find some candles and flashlights. They're under the sink in the kitchen. I'll be right back."

"No!..." She replied, quickly standing up and clutching my hand in a death grip. "I'm coming with you!"

I chuckled again at her being so skidish, as we fumbled around in the dark. Her normal lack of grace really working against her at a time like this. I had to stop her from falling twice before we reached the kitchen before I found the cabinet under the sink and grabbed a flashlight, flipping it on and handing it to her.

"Thanks." She sighed.

"Sure. Sure." I laughed as I found three candles and some matches. I lit them and placed two on the kitchen table and one in the living room.

Thunder roared again outside. The lightening flashing all around the driveway. Bells ran to my side, reaching for my hand with a sheepish grin of embarrassment playing on her lips.

"Sorry..." She stammered. Glancing toward the living room window.

"No big deal... " I replied. Stroking her hand with my thumb.

"You know I spook easy." She laughed.

I chuckled along with her. " Yea... you got that right..." I teased. She shook her head. A blush forming on her beautiful face.

"What can I say... Im not... brave like you ya know."

I turned to look at her. "You're braver than you think, Bells..." I replied, walking us over to the living room window, as I looked out at the storm.

"I think you give me far too much credit there, Jake." She sighed.

"Yea... Well I don't think you give yourself enough sometimes. I've seen you brave. You forget how long I've known you, honey."

She sighed... "I guess it just depends on who Im with..."

"Maybe" I said, sitting down with her on the couch.

"I mean... you're not afraid of anything Jake. I'd give anything to be like that." She said, eyes searching mine.

"Now you're the one giving me too much credit." I admitted to her.

"No... As long as I've known you... you've never been afraid of anything... nothing scares you or even intimidates you."

I stared at her, thinking of how very wrong she was. She scared the hell out of me... on more than one occasion. I had fears. All of them involved losing her.

"I have one fear..." I sighed leaning back against the couch. Bella glanced over to me. Her eyes set on mine. "Losing you... that scares me... terrifies me even..."

She fell silent but her eyes said it all. I looked away from her and quickly changed the subject.

"So... it's two in the morning, and were both wide awake. Why is that?"... I chuckled, but soon stopped when I glanced back over to her, seeing her look down at our hands still laced together, immediately starting to regret my blunt confession.

"Bells I... I didn't mean..." I started to explain.

"No it's okay." She assured me, but her eyes told me otherwise.

I wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Pulling her close to my side. "You must be tired..." I asked.

"No... I dont wanna sleep..." She sighed, laying her head on my shoulder. The tone in her voice caught my attention. It was laced with fear.

"Everytime I close my eyes... I see him... Sometimes it's like I'm right back there... on Isle Esme..." She stopped, and I heard her heart beat rapidly at the memory.

My mind was so full of thoughts... eventhough I tried not to think about it... of the many different scenarios that happened on her so called honeymoon.

I tightened my arm around her, as she rolled up the sleeve of my shirt she was wearing. Revealing the wooden wolf charm I had made her for graduation. I glanced down at it. A bit shocked she had it on, and that I hadn't noticed it before.

"That's why..." She continued..."I put this back on..." She glanced up at me..."Makes me feel safe. "

I gave her half a smile. Feeling my heart swell a bit from her words.

"You're the only one you know?" She said.

I glanced down at her as she explained. "The only one who makes me feel safe like that. So when I look at this. It just reminds me."

"I'm sorry about earlier... For making you feel like I didn't understand... or want to understand. I will always try to understand whatever you need me to, Bells. I just hate this... I hate what he did to you."

"You don't owe me anything, Jake. You know that right?"

I nodded to her. "It's not about owing you honey... I'll always be here for you. No matter what. I promise."

"Thank You." She replied.

"Always." I whispered to her, as the rain continued to pour outside.

A few minutes passed and the lights still weren't back on. I noticed Bella was asleep. I shifted a bit so her head was closer to my chest than my shoulder, in hopes it would be more comfortable for didn't stir and was still fast asleep. I couldn't help but glance down and see how beautiful she was when she slept. My eyes wandered to her shoulder and her neck, cringing as I saw the shadow of yet another bruise, slightly hidden by the collar of my shirt she was wearing. What I wouldn't give to get my hands on Cullen right about now.

The vivid images of how the bruise got there were on a never ending cycle in my head. I wished, now more than anything. that I could turn back time and stop her from marrying that leech.

Lightening lit up the living room. Bella stirred and I felt her press herself more into me, listening intently, as her heartbeat began to pick up. I hated that she relived her hell every time she closed her eyes. I covered her up more with the blanket, stroking her arm a bit.

I couldn't sleep even if I tried. I knew one thing was for damn sure. If Cullen ever came back, I would be ready to end his miserable existance without so much as a second thought.

What he had done to Bella was unforgivable. I didn't need another reason to hate him, but now I had yet another one. He had robbed her of so many things in their relationship. He had brainwashed her so much so, that she was ready and willing to give up her whole life... all of her friends and family... Charlie and Renee... having children...and me... just so she could become the one thing I loathed. I shuddered to think of what could have happened and held onto her a little tighter.

The house was eerily quiet. The only constant sound was Bella's breathing and the pouring rain on the roof.

I sat there with her asleep in my arms for hours. As the time passed I thought back to all she'd been through because of Edward. How much he'd put her through. I vowed to myself then and there that I would never let him hurt her again. Something inside me vowed this too. I felt it.

My mind wandered down memory lane once again. Going back to a time that felt like a lifetime ago now but in reality was only two years ago.

I thought back to when Bella and I had gone to see that horror flick she picked with her tag along friend, Mike Newton. I remember it like it was yesterday. What she said to me that night on the stairs stuck with me and still did to this day... "Jake... I'm not like a car you can fix up. I'm ... never gonna run right."

I sighed upon the memory. The one thought that came instantly to my mind when she spoke those words to me was this : "Let me fix you..." Because I knew I could. My inner confidence came from knowing her so well and loving her for so long.

I remember how she would light up when she would bring pizza and soda out to my garage when I was fixing up those bikes. In my heart, I knew she liked being around me just as much as I liked being around her. It was effortless with us. It always had been. Back then, I was certain that if she just opened her heart up to me, even a little bit, she would be happy. I wanted nothing more than to make her truly happy. I still do. Her happiness was what mattered most to me.

My father had always taught me that when you really love someone, you choose to love them with all surrounding circumstances. To love them for who they are, flaws and all, and to not place any stipulations on that love. Real love knows no bounds or limitations. The heart is limitless. That's why it wars so much with your head. Your common knowledge tells you to stop. Tells you to slow down, or not get anymore involved for risk of yourself getting hurt as a consequence of that love, but the heart rages forward and in the end, you go with that feeling. To hell with the consequence. My father had shown me, and taught all of us kids what that love really was when we were just young. He rooted it in us, so we would hold it true to our own lives down the road.

Rebecca married a great man, and I have no doubt that dad set the mark for him to meet. She knew how to be treated, and how to never allow herself to be treated. I was always taught to trust your heart and know that it's leading you the right way. So when Bella had chosen to love him... to love Edward and not give in to her real feelings for me, I was torn to pieces and it hurt like hell, but it was what she wanted, and it was what she professed to make her happy in life. Eventhough I knew what she was risking, and none of it felt right at all in my heart. She had made her choice. She had told me what she wanted after the newborn battle when she came to my room.

I hated to see her leave like that and hated what it meant for us. I knew our future was over and done with after she left. My heart was now just as broken as my body had been back then. She loved the leech and wanted her life with him, but I knew that she loved me too. No matter how hard she tried to fight it, and believe me she sure as hell did try. Deep down I knew the truth. .

I ran away... trying to escape the misery it brought with it. Never being able to run far enough. I carried her with me wherever I went. Bella was apart of me, and you can't escape yourself. I had tried all I could to make her see just how much I loved her. She was all I had ever wanted. In the end it wasn't enough. I knew when she left with him after the reception that I may never see her again... Never see her with pink cheeks, two left feet and a heartbeat. It almost damn near killed me.

I loved her more than words could say. More than she could ever know. I knew we a had what it took to get through the highs and lows of life and all the in between. One look into her eyes and I saw it all... a future with her... children even ... and a house together. Love and laughter for years to come. I wanted it so bad that when it was ripped away from me, I felt like my heart had left my body. I was numb for days. She was my joy and when she was gone with him, she took it with her.

It felt almost as if someone had reached there hand into my chest and ripped out my heart. What do you do when the one thing you live for walks away from you? What's left after that? How do you cope?

The storm raged on outside as I glanced at my watch, trying not to move much. I didn't want to disturb Bella. The watch lit up and the time read 3:45 a.m. I sighed and knew this would be a long ass day. I was scheduled to do patrol at nine till three with Sam. Leah and Seth would take over for the night watch soon after that.

I sat there, my eyes slowly closing. I tried to fight it and stay awake. I glanced down and felt Bella stir a bit. Sleeping in that position on my chest couldn't be too comfortable. I glanced over and slowly moved her. My intent was too lay her on the couch and I'd take the floor next to her. Just as I moved out from under her. Her eyes flew open. " Jake..." She gasped, grabbing my hand.

"Sorry Bells... I just wanted you to be comfortable."

She nodded and sat up as I sat back down next to her. I felt like an ass for waking her up.

"You're probably not too comfortable yourself?" she asked with a guilty expression on her face.

"No I'm fine." I said, tucking her hair behind her ear. She gave me a sleepy smile and nodded. I smiled and leaned back against the couch, motioning to her.

She snuggled back in to me, resting her head once again on my chest. I kissed the top of her head and ran my hand through her hair. She sighed and was out like a light in no time. After a while I slowly laid back with her. Careful not to wake her yet again.

My eyes would no longer stay open as we laid there together. There was no other feeling like holding Bells this way. My heart felt whole and not broken for the first time in what felt like forever.

I awoke several hours later to hear my cell phone ringing. I slowly opened my eyes and carefuly reached over to the coffee table where it was. I glanced at the screen to see it was Sam. I hit the ignore button, letting it go to voicemail and setting it back on the coffee table. I'd call him back soon enough.

I noticed the time was now 7:36 a.m. I sighed, knowing I'd have to go out for patrol soon when in reality there was no other place I wanted to be than here with Bella. I felt her shift her weight. She moved up a bit, nestling her face into the side of my neck, still fast asleep.

My mind began to head down a dangerous road as I held her like this. Images of Waking up to her every morning and holding her every night... fair skinned, dark haired children running up to me after work... I stopped myself. Knowing where this would lead and laid there for a little while longer until I heard her.

"Jake?" She whispered.

"Yea honey?"

"You have to leave soon for patrol?" She asked. My heart sank.

"Yea..." I sighed.

She slowly pulled herself up and away from me. Bringing a feeling of emptiness to where she had just been.

"I can make you breakfast? " She offered. It was the first time I noticed we did have the power back on. The lamp in the living room now back on.

I chuckled. "You dont have to do that, Bells."

She shook her head, and suddenly leaned down. Kissing me on the cheek. "I know I don't have to. But I want to. It's the least I can do. I'll make some extra for Billy, too..." She chimed, nearly skipping into the kitchen. It warmed my heart to see her smile my favorite smile again.

"Okay... if you insist..." I agreed, standing up and folding the blankets, before placing them back in the closet.

Bella suddenly apppeared behind me as I shut the closet door. "Do you prefer sausage or bacon... scrambled eggs... or an omelet?"

I smiled warmly at her. " Um... I don't know... surprise me."

She nodded and ran back to the kitchen. To see her this happy did wanders for me. I walked into the kitchen and leaned against the entry way. Watching her busy herself around there. Fixing this and grabbing that. I couldn't stop myself from imagining her in our own home together some day. I shook my head, running my hand through my hair in frustration. I needed to get a grip.

"Hey Bells... I'm gonna take a shower real quick okay?"

She spun around, still beaming. "Okay "

I grabbed some clean clothes from my room and hurried to clean up.

Once in the shower, I leaned my head up against the wall. Thinking of how she'd she'd been inches away from throwing herself off that damn cliff yesterday. I was minutes away... minutes.

I let the hot water relax some of my muscles. I couldn't help but feel like something was off with her still. I knew Bella, and I felt like she was putting on a brave face for everyone. But she couldn't fool me with that. Not after yesterday. He'd done a number on her this time, and I worried if the few bruises I had seen were only a few of the many... Were there more?

I felt my anger start to grow. Heat licking up my spine and spreading slowly to my limbs. I took a deep breath and turned off the shower. Getting a hold of myself. I dressed, shaved and brushed my teeth in a hurry. Somehow, I managed not to cut myself all to hell in the process.

I could smell bacon and eggs. The auroma drifting in from the kitchen. I was famished.

Bella was fixing plates and had turned the radio on. I laughed and watched her as she danced all around my kitchen, spatula in hand. My shirt still drapped over her. I couldn't take my eyes off her as she moved. Swaying her hips to the music and singing along. Like she didn't have a care in the world.

She look so damn good in my shirt, that I pondered just letting her keep it. She whirled around and stopped in her tracks when she saw me standing there.

"Oh..." She laughed, turning the music down and looking a bit embarrassed. I crossed the room and chuckled.

"Don't stop on my account Bells. Breakfast smells great!" I said, glancing at the feast she prepared. There was a bowl of fruit on the table, along with coffee and orange juice, scrambled eggs, silver dollar pancakes and bacon.

She pulled out my chair. "Here... sit... eat." She said with a smile. "I made a huge plate for Billy too... when is he coming back?"

"Should be sometime soon" I replied, taking my first bite of pancake. "Bells this is great, honey. Thank you!"

"Anytime" She replied, sitting to join me.

We ate breakfast together and chatted about pack stuff. I filled her in on Pauls many stunts he's pulled recently. Bella always got a laugh at them. I told her how Seth was really starting to grow up, and how Leah was the same. She asked me about Emily, and I told her she had started taking a few art classes during the week. Bella looked really interested in that.

"Maybe I can stop by and see her this week sometime?" She asked.

"Yea... of course... She'd love to see you." I replied, finishing up.

"More?" She asked.

"No thanks Bells. I'm stuffed!" I replied, patting my stomach. She laughed and put her fork down.

"You... Jacob Black... are full?" She teased.

I nodded and chuckled with her. She cleared the table and got busy doing the dishes. I offered to do the clean up but she refused. I hated to leave but as I checked my watch it was almost nine. Sam would have my ass if I was late.

I approached her from behind, as she filled the sink with dishwater, slipping my arms around her waist and pulling her gently back into me, resting my chin there on her shoulder. She let go of the dish she was washing and placed her hands on mine with a sigh.

"You gotta go... right?" She asked in a low tone.

"Yea... " I sighed, pressing my cheek to hers. I couldn't help the worry that took ahold of me. After yesterday, I had a damn good right to be concerned.

"Okay..." She sighed in reply. "I'll clean up all this and then get dressed and head back home. Charlie will be worried if I dont show up by noon or so."

"You can stay as long as you want, honey. I'll be back by three... maybe four if something comes up." I replied.

"Okay..." She sighed heavily.

"Bells..." I whispered to her. Slowly turning her in my arms to face me... "If you need me... call Emily... She'll get ahold of me and I'll come straight to you. Don't...do anything..." I paused, feeling the words get stuck in my throat.

She stared up at me. Her eyes now meeting mine. "I won't... I promise and I'll call Emily if I need you. Don't worry about me, okay? I'll be fine Jake. I'll see you at my house... tonight... for dinner?"

"Yeah... you bet..." I replied with a nod, and half a smile, releasing her, eventhough I hated to and heading for the door.

I stopped just before reaching it and turned back around to see her watching me. She smiled and waved. "Later, Bells..."

"See you tonight." She replied, still smiling to me, as I left.

Something inside me told me that I was right. That there was so much more to this.

I walked into the woods, stripped my clothes, and tied them to my ankle, before phasing and running wild through the forest.

The storm had knocked over several large branches. I noticed them, as I neared the Lumber yard. Sam was waiting there for me, pacing back and forth. A Look of worry on his face. Even in wolf form, I could tell something was on his mind, as I stopped in front of him.

"Ready?" I asked, opening up my mind to him. He now saw all that had happened last night. Which was fine by me. I didn't feel the need to hide anything from him at this time. A low growl escaped him when he saw the memory of the bruises I had seen.

"Jake... there's something we need to discuss before we head out to the border for patrol." He added.

"What..." I replied, not sure where this was going.

"I know this is... complicated... I mean your feelings for Bella. But..." He hesitated, his thoughts not coming out to me in clear form.

"What Sam...Just tell me... " I replied in my head, a little agitated.

"You still love her." He stated. Although it came out to me as more of a question. I huffed at him in frustration.

"Why are you asking me this? What the hell are you trying to get at here?" I asked.

"Im worried Jacob. You know I care for Bella. That we all do. Hell... Emily see's her like a sister at times... But now that she is back... we have to assume that they will come looking for her eventually. Could be next week or next month, or in 5 damn years from now. You know as well as I do, that they won't just leave her alone altogether. The Cullens made an arrangment with the Volturi, Jake. They gave their word to change her. You know this. It was the only way they didn't investigate further into it when we fought in the newborn battle last spring. Now that she's no longer with Cullen, I can only assume it means she no longer desires that?"

My head spun at his words, and my anger began to take me by the throat. Not At Sam. At the Blood thirsty bastard who'd placed her in this damn mess to begin with. I locked eyes with Sam.

"I don't know what her feelings are on the matter. I haven't discussed it with her Sam. She's..." I paused, unable to find the right words. I let the memory in my head play before Sam of her nearly throwing herself off that cliff, and her explanation for it. He huffed in reply.

"What... She tried to..." He stopped. As a whine escaped me in response. "Have you told Charlie?"

"No... But I will if I need to. And I'll talk to her about all this later. Just give her some time to... heal... if that's even possible." I thought to him.

"I understand Jake. I hope you know I am only concerned for her well being and the protection of our land and people. The Cullens bring trouble with them. I have to be ready for it. So we're not taken by surprise when it comes our way again."

"I understand." I replied.

With that, we took off for our patrol. The rain didn't pick up again till the afternoon. Making patrol wet and misserable for the rest of the day. Needless to say, by the time LEah and Seth showed up, I was more than ready to go home. Sam told me he would be running with Paul and Embry tomorrow, so I wasn't needed. I thanked him and headed home.

I ran there fast, anxious to see Bella again. I wasn't sure if she'd still be there or if she'd already gone home. I hit the edge of the border to my back yard and phased back, slipping on my jeans and carrying my soaked shirt in with me. I was dripping wet when I went inside and saw my dad, sitting at the table with Charlie. They stopped their conversation when I came in.

"Hey there, Jake." Charlie said. "Little wet out there huh son?"

"Uh... yeah it is." I chuckled.

"Get caught in the rain on your way home from Sam's?" He asked. My father shot me an all knowing glance, as I caught on to what he had probably told Charlie to cover for me being soaked and outside on a day like this.

"Yea... it's really coming down out there. Bet you guys had your hands full last night at the station?"

"Yep... Long night. Just got up an hour ago, and figured I'd come say hi to Bella before heading into work later. We were gonna do dinner, but Billy here called me and told me had fallen asleep. I saw no point in waking her. So I came over here for a while instead..." He explained. I glanced over to the couch, seeing Bella wasn't there. Charlie went to refill his coffee by the kitchen counter, my dad seeing my expression and gesturing down the hall toward my room. I nodded in understanding and went into the bathroom to take a shower. I hurried to get clean and then changed into some dry clothes.

I noticed the laundry was folded and placed on top of the dryer. I picked up my shirt... the red and black flannel that Bella had worn the night before. She had done the laundry. I smiled and chuckled, grabbing some black jeans and my flannel, dressing quickly and listening to Charlie talk to Billy. It wasn't like I was trying to evesdrop. But with wolf hearing... you can't help it sometimes. I brushed my teeth and heard Charlie voice his concerns for Bella.

"I don't know Billy... I'm starting to worry for her again. She's... different. I dont know. Something's off. I can't tell you what it is, cause I can't put my finger on it myself, but there's so much I don't understand about this whole mess with Edward. She was so hell bent on marrying him. I mean adiment to me and Renee, then she just returns and it's over. She keeps telling me to just trust her and give her some time, but I'm not gonna lie. It's driving me crazy not knowing. I do know one thing for sure... I hope he stays the hell away. He's messed with her emotions enough these past few years."

I put my toothbrush back and listened, as he went on...

"The whole time they were dating, I didn't trust him. At first I thought it was just me being the over-protective father... But I don't think that's what it was now. Renee even mentioned how she felt that Bella was rushing into it. Almost as if she was being forced or something. The difference between the way she was with him, and the way she is with Jake... you can't compare it. Something about Edward just seems unhealthy..."

I sighed and glanced at my reflection in the mirror. A knot growing in my stomach.

I sympathized with Charlie and felt guilty for always keeping the truth from him. My father deeply cared for his best friend. It had been a hard challenge to keep all these secrets from him. My father knew that there was no other way. That in the end, it would be a danger to Charlie if he knew the truth about everything.

I opened the door and exited the bathroom when I heard them pause in there conversation. I didn't want Charlie to think I had been listening. I knew My Father already knew I had heard by the look on his face.

Charlie stood up and shook my hand when I approached the table. "Well I'm off to work guys. See you later. We on for the game tomorrow Billy?" He asked, releasing my hand.

"You bet old friend... you bet. Stay safe out there... " He replied to Charlie.

"Always do Billy... Always do." He said, putting on his jacket and taking out his keys to the cruiser.

"See you later son. Thanks for being there for Bella. She's real lucky to have you. " He said to me, opening the front door. I gave him a smile as he left.

I stood there looking at the door and feeling a bit like a jackass for not being able to tell him what kind of hell his daughter had just endured.

"She's been sleeping for two hours." My father said, wheeling himself next to me.

"She cleaned the house. " He added with a small chuckle. "Even did the laundry. I knew I always liked her for some reason." He finished, with a light hearted laugh. I smiled and jokingly punched his arm.

"Hey now... watch it there boy. Just cause you're young and strong...don't mean I can whip your ass if needed. You remember that." He said, teasing me right back.

"Sure, Sure." I replied, glancing toward my room.

"So... I guess we can order in tonight? She's certainly done enough around here today. Let her rest. Think I may take a nap myself here soon." He sighed.

I glanced down at him. " You need me to help you? "

"No No... Go on..." He said gesturing toward my room. "Your old man can manage out here just fine for a while. I'll call us in some pizza around six or so."

"Okay." I replied and walked down the hall to my room as he wheeled himself toward the living room.

I opened my bedroom door slowly and quietly went in, slowly closing it behind me. It squeeked a bit and I cursed under my breath, hoping it didn't wake her. To my luck, she didn't stir. I felt my heart warm as I saw her asleep in my bed. She took my breath away. How beautiful she was and so unaware of it.

I walked over to her, and knelt down quietly, starring at her beautiful face. I could look at her forever. Every day... for the rest of my life. I listened to hear her breathing to be even and her heart a normal pace. It was nice to hear... her finally at peace. I stood slowly and glanced around my room to see she had done my laundry as well. It was neatly folded and placed on my dresser in piles. There was a small note on top:

Jacob,

This is just my way of saying thank you for letting me stay here last night. I owe you.

xoxo

- Bells -

I smiled and placed the note in my jeans pocket. I couldn't help but sigh at the thought of her thinking she owed me anything. That wasn't how I saw it. It wasn't how I would ever see it. When you love someone the way that I love Bella, you just do it. Whatever it may be. That's how love works.

I turned back around and approached the bed, slowly laying down next to her. I laid on my back and crossed my arms behind my head, staring up at the ceiling above me. My thoughts on what Charlie had said earlier... His words coming back to my mind... "I don't know what it is... I just know something's off."

I glanced over to Bella seeing her so content in her sleep... Carefree. Sam's words echoing in my head from before. I knew his words rang true. He did care for her, becuase he was like a brother to me, and he knew how very much I loved her and what she meant to me.

Bella sighed and mumbled something in her sleep that I couldn't make out. She moved herself closer to me wrapping one leg over mine and cuddling into me. I froze where I was, raising my hands and keeping them there. Not sure if I should move her or not. Land knows I didn't want to. She placed herself close to me, laying her head on my chest and rested her hand there.

I wrapped my arm around her, keeping one behind my head. I wasn't sure how much time had gone by, but I must have drifted off. I woke up when I felt Bells shift in her sleep. She moved away from me a bit. I didn't think much of it, she was warm and I was probably making her too hot. I closed my eyes again, falling back to sleep when I suddenly heard her gasp. "Jacob... No... Don't."

My eyes shot open and I glanced over to her. She had a pained expression on her face, and her heart was beating a mile a minute.

"No... No!" She screamed... "Stop!" I sat up and touched her arm, trying to wake her from another nightmare.

"Bells... honey..." I whispered to her. The nightmare continued though.

"No!" She screamed again, bolting upright, gasping for air. I took her hand in mine, and she jumped. Her brown eyes meeting mine. They were panicked... horror filled even.

"Bells..." I breathed to her. She shook her head and pulled her hand out of mine, placing her head in her hands and crying... sobbing.

I moved without even thinking about it, placing myself behind her and wrapping my arms around her, pulling her gently back against my chest.

"Come here, honey." I whispered, as she continued to cry. Everything in me hurt for her... longed to fix this.

Every sob made my own chest hurt. I would have given anything to fix her... anything. I wished I could take this from her.

She gathered herself after a while and looked up at me, as she went to move away. "I'm sorry." She whispered, but I held onto her. Not wanting to let her go.

"Do you remember?" I asked her, placing my cheek next to hers.

She slowly nodded and wiped her tears away.

"Tell me Bells... Please." I asked. My tone pleading.

She hesitated. I could feel her fear coming off her in waves.

"I can't." She breathed to me.

I tightened my arms around her. "You can tell me anything... Anything Bells."

Silence fell over us for a few short seconds before she answered me. She took a few deep breaths...

"I ... was on the island... with ... Edward. And..." She stopped. Seeming to choke up on the words before they left her lips. I took her hand in mine, lacing our fingers together, slowly stroking the top of her hand with my thumb, encouraging her to continue.

She sighed and slowly went on : " He wouldn't stop... I screamed... begged him to, but nothing I did... nothing I begged for... seemed to help me. His hands were like vice grips. His hold like iron steel. I was powerless against him and then... You came for me. I heard you... howling. Edward stopped immediately, but his eyes were still as black as night. He jumped up off me and ran at you... You fought...I ran after him with a white sheet around me. You fought for me... He killed you..." She sobbed... "I ran to you and held you, screaming to you over and over but it was too late. He had killed you and then he killed me..." She finished.

I couldn't speak or respond to her. My head full of the images she had just described. Like in a horror movie, only real life.

She had no idea how much I wished I had come for her. How many times I kicked myself for not listening to my gut when it was screaming at me that something was wrong with her. I swallowed hard and gained control of this heat licking up my spine again. I would end him. One day... sooner or later. He was mine.

I felt my eyes start to sting as her crying continued.. Her steady, silent tears streaming down her face, bringing unshed tears to my own.

"I should have." I whispered to her, breaking my silence. Bella turned herself in my arms. Her eyes meeting mine as a single tears rolled down my cheek. She looked horrified, as she wiped it away.

"No..." She breathed to me. "It's not your fault Jake. It's my own."

I reached my hand up and wiped her tears away with the backs of my fingers. She caught my hand in hers and kissed it. "I don't ever want you to feel guilty. Not ever."

I glanced down, seeing she was wearing another one of my flannels over her turtleneck. I hadn't even noticed it until now. She saw me looking at it and sighed.

"I'm sorry... I should have asked first. I just..." She paused, her eyes locking with mine, seeming to struggle to find the right words..."Missed you. And this smelt like you." She finished, taking her hand from mine and beginning to take it off. I took her hands back in my own, stopping her.

"What's mine is yours, Bells. You can wear it as long as you want."

She turned back around and settled herself against me with a heavy sigh. "I'm so tired of falling apart all the time."

"It's okay." I whispered in reply.

"No it's not... I need to be strong... more like you."

I closed my eyes and pressed my cheek gently back to hers when I felt her tremble. She had no idea how weak I was when it came to her.

"You can fall apart anytime you want to... I'll be here to put you back together, honey."

Bella was silent, as we sat there. It was moments like this, simple,intimate moments like this, that made me fall in love with her all over again. My dads words, not lost on me now...

"Two halves of a whole." They stayed there, in my mind, solid and heavy.

Bella slowly turned herself back around to face me as I released her, noticing her heart was beating rapidly within her chest, as she spoke.

"You're kind of amazing you know?" She asked. Reaching her hand up, and running it once through my hair. The feeling like electricity.

I gave her half a smile. "Glad you think so." She gave me a small smile in return, and it made my heart warm. Even though her eyes were still red from crying, it was a start.

She stared at me. An unreadable expression on her face, as she bit her bottom lip, giving away her nerves.

I reached my hand up, caressing her cheek and running my thumb across her lip. I watched a rapid blush form, and listened as her heart pounded fast as I lowered my hand with a sigh.

The pull... the magnetic, undeniable pull... was there. It hung in the air around us just as it always did.

I had tried like hell to ignore it before, to fight it but its useless. You can't fight a feeling that strong. It goes against gravity and wears you out, becoming incredibly taxing. I bit my tongue and forced myself not to tell her that I loved her. Eventhough I'd said it before, a pain hitting me in the chest at the memory. I didn't give in to the words that were constantly on the tip of my tongue.

"I'm gonna take a shower before dinner. Is that okay?" She asked, slowly standing. I nodded to her.

"Yea. Dad's gonna order some pizza soon if your up for it? There's clean towels in there for you. Help yourself to whatever." I offered.

She thanked me and walked out of the room.

I stood up and found myself pacing back and forth with pent up frustration. I felt trapped. Utterly helpless. Like my hands were tied behind my back and someone was holding me with puppet strings. Telling me which way to move. I ran my hands through my hair, an exasperated sigh escaping me. I glanced up to see my dad sitting in the doorway. A look of concern across his features.

"She ok? I heard her..." He asked.

"Yeah..." I replied. "She's fine... for now. " I said.

"You know son... She is more than welcome to stay here for the week is she likes? If that will help her."

I snapped my head up to see a smile across my old mans face.

"Dad..." I sighed, walking over to him. "I doubt that Charlie would go for that."

"Oh you leave him to me." He teased, as I reached for my cell phone and dialed the pizza joint down the road. I placed the order, gave them my name for pick up, and hung up. My dad's eyes still on me.

"What? I asked, tossing my phone on the bed next to me.

"You're good for her Jake. I think it would do her good to stay here but of course that's up to her. I won't push. You have my word." He stated, turning and wheeling himself out to the living room. I sighed and chuckled a bit, following him out there and sitting down on the couch, flipping aimlessly through the sports channels and seeing what was on for the night.

"Charlie should be by later on for the Mariners game. Starts at eight." My father yelled from the kitchen.

Bells came out of the bathroom then. Her hair still wet from the shower.

"Hey uh Billy... does Rachel happen to have a hair dryer hanging around here for when she visits?"

"Yea. It's right under the sink dear... you're welcome to it. Anything here is yours, dear." He answered her with a smile.

"Thanks Billy." She said, before turning and heading back into the bathroom. I heard the blow dryer running and saw my fathers smile at me. Yea right... he's not gonna push... sure sure. I knew him better than to believe that. He loved Bella like his own.

Bella came out minutes later, and smiled at me as she appraoched the couch. "So... dinner time?" She asked with a chuckle.

"Yeah... I gott go pick up the pizza's. Wanna come?"

"Yea." She said, taking her jacket off the coat rack by the door. "I uh... put your flanel back in your room. Thanks." She smiled.

I slipped my leather jacket on and zipped up Bella's.

"It's cold honey. " I explained, my hand leaving her coat.

"I'll be back dad... going to get dinner. Need anything?" I yelled into the kitchen.

"Nope. Thanks tho. Hurry back son I'm famished." He laughed in to us.

"Got it." I answered before leaving the house and closing the door behind us.

I quickly opened the door to my rabbit for Bells, noticing the rain start to pick up again. She slipped in and thanked me. I ran over to the drivers side, hoped in and started the engine. It needed a tune up in a bad way. I'd been neglectful lately.

We pulled out on the main road and headed fot the store. Bella was silent most of the way. Although I knew her mind was racing a mile a minute. I reached over and took her hand mine, seeing her glance over to me. "You okay?" I asked. She nodded, and held my hand till we reached the store. It was now pouring and I hated for her to get soaked yet again.

"I'll be right back, okay?" I said, cranking the heat and jumping out of the car. I ran in and thankfully the store was desolate. The pizza's were waiting. I paid and hurried back outside. Thunder roaring around me, as I ran back to the car. Bella took the pizzas from me and placed them in the back seat. She laughed a bit when I got in. "You're soaked Jake."

I loved to hear her laugh. I chuckled along with her and started to put the car in gear to leave. Bella reached for my hand, stopping me.

"Hey Jake... can we wait... just a minute?" She asked. I nodded to her and slipped the car back in park.

She sighed and touched my face. Running the backs of her fingers along my cheek and down to my jaw. I fought hard to keep myself together. The smallest of touches from her would send searing heat through me. It was just the affect she had on me.

"I just wanted you to know how grateful I am to you. For everything you've done for me lately." She said sincerely.

"I'm always here for you Bells. You know that." I replied. She took my hand in hers.

"I really missed you Jake. When you were gone."

"I missed you too, Bells. " I replied. More than you know. I thought to myself, heading back to my house.

"It's been nice... spending time with you." She said softly, as we pulled back into my driveway. I glanced over to her, seeing the sincerity in her eyes as they met mine.

"Yea... It really has." I whole heartedly agreed.

She got out and took one of the pizza boxes as I grabbed the other two. We ran back inside and out of the rain. Bella nearly tripping over her own two feet, of course. I laughed as I grabbed her around the waist to keep her from falling, both of us barreling through the front door, laughing at her lack of grace. We set the pizza on the table, and heard Billy laugh along with us when we told him how Bella nearly tripped.

"I wish I could say I'm suprised Dear, but I'm really not." He teased. She laughed and hugged him in response.

"Hey now... don't be mean!" She bantered on with him. It was music to my ears.

Charlie soon came in to join us. "Hey dad! " Bella exclaimed, giving him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"Hey honey." He replied. "Man it's really pouring. I'll be glad when this storm quits already. We've already got three flood alerts in forks for the damn rivers being too high. Gonna cause major traffic issues if it keeps up." He complained, opening a beer from the fridge and sitting down on the couch next to my dad. They were lost in there own conversation.

I took off my jacket and helped Bella out of hers. I hung them up and then grabbed some plates from the cupboard in the kitchen so we could eat. I handed them to Bella and watched her busy herself with setting the table. She was so beautiful, she had no idea what she did to me. She was Beautiful in the way that beauty used to mean something.

We all sat around the table and ate together. They were jokes and laughter from all around. It was nice to have things back to the way they used to be for a while. I had missed it greatly.

To have her back with me again, felt so right. Too right... I was almost afraid to blink or breathe wrong in fear that I would lose her again.

After dinner, my father and Charlie were lost in cheers for the Mariners game going on in the living room. Bella was also enjoying herself, eventhough I knew she wasn't a huge baseball fan. She went along with it for the sake of her dad.

I stared at her, seeing her laugh and smile, and for a brief moment it was like we were back in my garage, working on those bikes.

I feared fixing her wouldn't be so easy this time. It was hell the last time, and this... this was by far much worse. I was lost in thought and caught up in her beauty, as I stared at her, leaning up against the archway in the living room.

My cell rang in my back pocket, interupting my thoughts. I pulled it out and saw it was Embry, walking into the kitchen to quickly answer it.

"Hey man... what's up?" I asked.

"Jake... We just got back from patrol a few minutes ago. Picked up a new trail. It's one of them..." He paused. I glanced over my shoulder to see Bella now watching me with peeked curiousity. I turned back around and balled my free hand into a fist.

"You're sure man?" I asked, my acidic tone giving away my anger.

"Yea. Dead sure. It's A Cullen. Which one though... we're not sure. Sam's already got Paul, Leah and Seth at Bella's. Just in case. Their on watch for her place tonight, bro. Don't worry. If it's him... We'll take care of it, and call you as soon as we know anything."

"Okay... Thanks Emb." With that, I hung up, and had to grip the edge of the counter. I heard the wood creak at my forceful grasp. A few tremors rolling through me. My inner wolf was pissed and threatened to consume me whole, as I stood there. More tremors rocking through me, intense heat winding its way up my spine and spreading to my arms and legs. I shook my head and tried to get a grip.

Charlie's in the next room. Get a grip... maintain. I kept saying this to myself, repeating it in my head like a mantra.

A soft hand touched my arm. I had been so distracted I didn't even hear Bella approach me from behind. I turned around and tried to avoid eye contact with her, because I knew she would read me like an open book again. She would know, and that wasn't a burden I was willing to place on her. Not right now anyways.

I would never keep something from her that I felt may harm her, or Charlie. Bells and I had always had an open relationship. One that was based on communication. This seemed too much for her right now, and I knew that I wouldn't be able to keep it from her for more than a day or so at best. The clock was ticking.

I kept my eyes on the floor, and felt her step closer to me. Her hand reaching up and touching my cheek. "Are you okay?" She whispered, glancing over her shoulder to be sure Charlie was still preoccupied with the game.

I bit my tongue and fought the urge to tell her. I couldn't scare her like that. She'd been through enough. I glanced up, meeting her stare now.

"Yea... uh... Sam needs me to go see him for a bit... think you'll be okay here till I get back?"

She sighed and squinted at me. A look that said..."I know your not telling me something."

I kept my eyes on hers and hoped like hell she would just let it be for now.

"Well... uh... Yea.. I mean sure ... if you have... things to do. I can head home tonight with Charlie."

"No." I said, in a more urgent tone than I meant to. She snapped her head back up.

I knew I was treading a thin line here and I was gonna blow it if I didn't choose my words carefully.

"I mean... No I want you to stay... if you want." I hurriedly recovered. Speaking in a low tone to her.

"Jake I... I really appreciate all that you've done lately... but I don't wanna be a burden, ya know." She trailed off, taking a step back away from me. I moved with her and pulled her into a hug.

"You're not ever a burden. Stay with me... Please..." I pleaded softly to her.

I wasn't above begging or a means of manipulation at this point. My tone said it all, my worry for her, or what might be waiting for her if she did go back home tonight. I knew Cullen wouldn't have the guts to come here. Not on our land and if he did, he'd be as good as done for.

She leaned back and glanceded up at me. "Are you sure your alright Jake. You seem ... like something's bothering you?"

I swallowed hard and went against everything I believed in... I lied to her. The guilt of it weighing heavy on my chest even as the words left my mouth.

"Yea... I'm fine Bells. Nothing's wrong, honey."

She gave me a half crooked smile and released me. "Okay. I'll be here waiting here when you get back then."

I nodded to her and slipped on my jacket. My Father's expression revealing to me that he knew exactly what the hell was going on. He glanced over to bella then back to me, seeing she was talking to Charlie.

"Stay safe Son. " He mouthed to me from across the room. I nodded to him and saw Charlie suddenly glance my way.

"Where you headed this late? " He asked, The police man in him coming out now.

"Oh uh... Sam needs my help real quick with something. Shouldn't take too long. I'll be back as soon as I can." I replied, opening the front door.

Charlie seemed to accept my answer, as he hauled on his second beer of the night, bantering with my dad again over the now losing score for the Mariners. I caught the look on Bella's face before I shut the front door. It ate at me to see her look at me like that. Like she already knew I was keeping something important from her. Keeping secrets from her, of any kind, had always been hell for me to do. Even when I joined the pack, It was like someone constantly had me by the throat, telling me to keep my mouth shut about what I had become. Seeing Bella at all during that time was so painful for me. I wanted to tell her everything but was scared to think she may not care for me the same anymore when she learned the whole truth. That's why I avoided her for weeks. My poor excuse... Mono.

I never wanted to keep something of importance like that from her again. It wasn't worth it. Her trust in me meant everything. I wouldn't ever pretend that I knew what was best for her and keep something from her, based on my deciding factor alone. The way Edward had there whole damn relationship.

I drove fast to Sam's. Breaking the speed limit. My body shaking already. I was so consumed with it all, that I don't even remember the ten minute drive to Sam's place. I pulled in the drive way and barely had put the car in park when Sam and Embry came running out to me. Meeting me face to face as I got out and shut the door.

"Is it him? Is it Edward?" I asked, my hands flexing into fists already.

Embry shot Sam a look that said it all.

"Yes." Sam nodded. His eyes set on mine.

"Where is he?" I seethed, through gritted teeth. My anger grabbing a hold of me in a way I had never felt before. Killing him would come with great pleasure for me, as I thought of all the times I'd held Bella, as she cried over what he'd done to her. I had waited so long for this. I was itching to get my hands on him.

"Jacob..." Sam said, a warning to his Alpha tone.

"What?" I seethed back, not able to hold in my rage.

"Keep a level head here. I know it's hard but you have to. We ran into his scent ten miles outside of the Forks border on patrol tonight. He's alone. No others with him. There was only his scent. We tracked it and it lead us stright to Bella's..." He stopped when he saw my reaction. I was visibly shaking.

"Son of a..." I seethed.

"Jacob!" Sam yelled. But it was too damn late. I was beyond pissed.

I stripped off my jacket and shirt, tossing them in the front seat of my car and slamming the door closed. To hell with a level head. That was the last thing I had right now. Why should I show that sick son of a bitch any mercy. When he had shown Bella none.

I ran towards the woods. Sam fast behind me. He grabbed my arm and yarded me back. The rain pouring off us.

"Stop!" He ordered.

I felt the weight of his alpha order come crashing down on me, like a boulder. The weight of it heavy and unyielding. Nearly knocking me to the ground. I fought it and regained my bearings, standing up straight again, and looking him dead in the eyes.

"Sam... With all due respect. Let go of me ... Now." I demanded. Thunder cracked around us as we stood there, locked in this debate.

"You can't run off and rip him the fuck apart like you want to. There's a treaty in place for a reason here, Jake. As much as I'd love to say to hell with it, and run with you right now to rip him to shreds and burn the pieces... I can't."

He released my arm, but kept his eyes on mine. "And neither Will you Jacob." He ordered. I could feel it. My anger consuming me and making me beyond furious. Outraged even.

"The treaty?" I spat in sarcasm. My words dripping with acid from my anger. "What the fuck does that have to do with this? He had every intention of breaking it when he took her to that damn island. He knew the risks Sam!" I raged at him, getting right in his face.

"So did Bella." Sam roared back shoving into me.. Pure fury... Thick and heavy, coursed through my veins at his words.

"... What!" I shouted. "You're taking his side. Are you fucking kidding me Sam. Where the hell is your loyalty!"

"She knew what she was getting herself into when she married Cullen, Jacob! I am in no way excusing what he did to her and I do care for her because you love her! You're my Brother, part of my pack...My family Jake but I cannot go against the treaty and start an all out war over this. The elders may pay the price for that if we engage in this with them. If we kill Edward for what he's done...you and I damn well know the others will come to avenge his death! They have allies Jacob! Many of them! They could come here and wipe our land clean if they wanted to. We would be in a fight to the death... our Elders Death or worse... Bella's."

I glared at him, knowing he was right.

I turned around, away from him and let my fist fly into the nearest tree. "Damn It!" I shouted, feeling like there was not a damn thing I could do. A trapped feeling. A feeling I hated.

Bella's face came to my mind, as I pulled my hand back and saw the blood run down my knuckles from the forceful impact.

"We wait. For now Jacob. We have to. You have my word that Bella will be protected and there will be a constant watchful eye at her home. If we act now, and jump into this... the cost could be too great to pay Jake. I know you see my reason here. Even if it's difficult for you. I want justice for her too, bro. I really do. But there's no telling what the others may do if we kill Edward. They would be irate and would want vengence. No matter what the cost. Some of them... may even turn on Bella and go after her themselves "

A low growl ripped from my chest, as I whipped my head back to him.

"I'll kill them first. Every last damn one of them. They're not hurting her again... Not ever." I stated, walking back to my car. I was still so angry that I didn't dare go back to Bells yet. She'd take one look at me and know. Just like she always did.

"She needs to stay with you and Billy for now. Maybe a week... or longer." Sam stated as I took a few deep breaths.

I thought of how I could possibly convince her of that without sounding horrible.

"It's the only way we can keep her safe for the time being." He explained. I glanced down at my hand, the blood still running. I knew this was true.

"I'll talk to her... figure something out." I raised my head, locking eyes with Sam again. "I won't keep this from her for very long Sam... I can't. Her trust is too damn important to me."

"I know Jake... I know." He said, extending his hand to me. I shook it, and exchanged a nod with Embry before putting my shirt and jacket back on and driving back home.

I drove slow, my hand gripping the steering wheel in a death grip. My head was so full I was developing a major headache as I drove into my driveway. The rain never letting up.

I sat there, leaning my head back against the head rest and sighing. I glanced down at my hand to see it was almost healed, but still was bleeding a bit. I untucked my flanel and wiped the blood off. I didn't want Bella to worry. Even though I knew she would when she saw it.

I got out of the car and headed into my garage. Needing another minute to get it together.

How could I convince her to stay here with us for a week? What would Charlie think? He would probably jump to the wrong conclusion. Like... we were involved... intimately. I sighed in frustration, pacing the length of my garage three... four times over.

My eyes fell on the picture of Bells and I that I had tacked up to the wall above my work bench. Her smile... I loved her smile... I loved her.

Fuck... I'd cross hell twice if it meant she would be safe.

I shook my head. Cursing under my breath. "Damn it. "

Just then I heard her... The footsteps leading up to where I stood. I sighed and turned to see her just entering the garage with a small smile. One that instanly faded when she glanced down at my hand.

"Hey you're back..." She stopped and stared at the new blood that had formed.

"Jake..." She gasped. Approaching me quickly and grabbing my hand in hers. "What... what the hell happened?"

I hated lying to her. More than I could say I hated it, but I had no other choice.

"Oh... I uh... had to help Sam fix his truck... it's just a scratch... really. No big deal Bells." I replied, trying to shrug it off and convince her. She didn't look up at me. She continued to examine my hand instead. Her fingertips lining the gash on my knuckles. She slowly glanced up at me, taking a step closer to me. Her beautiful face inches from mine.

"What aren't you telling me... ?" She whispered, looking me square in the eyes...

I stared back at her, trying to think of something... hell... anything to throw her off track, and feeling extremely guilty at the same time for lying to her in the first place. I turned away from her. Not able to hold her penetrating stare. I would never get through it this way...

"It's nothing ,Bells. Don't worry about it, honey." I sighed.

I busied myself with picking up my work bench and organizing my tools. Doing something to keep my hands busy for now and my mind preoccupied. I felt her touch my arm...

"Come on... Jake... I know that's not true. Talk to me... what's bothering you..." She asked. Her tone was pleading, soft, and genuinely heart felt. Making me feel all the more like a complete jackass.

I bit my tongue and turned around to face her. Her eyes met mine with a plea in them.

"It's just something with Sam. I'll figure it out."

She looked so disappointed that I wouldn't tell her. It made my heart wrench at the sight. I had always told her everything.

"Okay... Sure..." She whispered, before backing away from me and leaning against my bike. She glanced down at it, a small smile forming.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing just... Memories." She admitted.

"Yea... we certainly made some in here, huh?" I smiled back. She chuckled along with me.

"Sometimes I miss them days ya know?" She said, starring nervously down to the floor and shuffling her feet a bit.

"You do?" I asked, my heart swelling with pride.

"Yea... like when we were just hanging out... warm soda and pizza... talking..." She sighed.

"You mean... when you used to be reckless?" I teased her.

"Ha.. what's this used to be crap... I still am..." She laughed. "I mean... I'm not quite as big of a dare devil as you, but still!" She bantered back with me.

Silence soon fell around us, as our laughter died off. I twirled the wrench in my hands around, staring at her as she looked at the bike.

I had missed our small conversations and banter more than I even realized. Having her back here was such a gift to me. Almost like having all your Holidays and Birthdays rolled into one. Our bantering was like second nature for us, coming just as easily as everything else did. I tossed the wrench into the open tool box on the floor next to me, as she glanced up.

"Something's bothering you." She stated. It wasn't in the form of a question, but as a matter of fact way in how she put it. "I'm not sure what it is, but I'm here for you." She finished, her brown eyes meeting mine.

I managed a nod and picked up my tool box, setting it on the work bench. I pondered on how I was gonna convince her to stay here for a whole week, slowly turning back around to see her wrap her arms around her midsection. It spoke volumes to me. Guilt hit me hard. I was shutting her out, trying to make this lie work, and she could feel it.

The distance between us suddenly felt like miles, instead of a few feet now. A familiar pain wrapped itself around my chest, reliving the memory of the last time we were so distant. Miles apart in heart and every other form. When she had married Cullen ... The reception.

She moved away from my bike and towards the garage door. Her steps were slow, and her eyes on the garage floor. "Well... I think... maybe I'll head home tonight... give you some space for a while.." She said softly.

I felt my heart constrict at her words. Space... Fuck... that was the last damn thing I wanted. I sighed, my frustration peaking with all this shit. "No Bells... it's..."

"No Jake it's okay... really. I understand." She said, stopping me. Her tone defeated. "I shouldn't expect so much from you... it's not fair." She whispered. Her hand now on the garage door. My insides were screaming at me to take her in my arms, and tell her how damn much I loved her still... That nothing had changed. That nothing could ever change the love I have for her. Not even marrying my enemy.

I was running out of time. My mind racing to figure out something that I could tell her. So she would stay. Just then, I heard Sam's truck pull up to the garage and in popped Seth.

"HEY BELLA!" He exclaimed, scooping her up off her feet in a hug. Her laughter filling the garage, as she hugged him back.

"Hey You!" She replied. Seth setting her down on her feet. Giving me a side glance. I knew Seth had a crush on Bella. Hell... you'd have to be blind not to. Just look at her. She was beautiful.

Sam trudged in behind him. A sobering look on his face. "Hi Bella." He greeted her.

"Hey Sam?" She replied. "Well Um... I'll leave you guys to it. Gonna head home."

Sam shot me a panicked expression from across the garage. I stared back, not knowing what the hell to say to make her stay. Other than the obvious which would be: "I love you... I want you with me.. Forever..." Something I knew she wasn't ready to here. Nor was I ready to face rejection again.

Seth piped up. "Awe man! You're leaving! Hey why not stay and hang out with us. I mean really Bella... are we that bad for company?" He teased.

"No... No not at all... In fact I ..." She paused, than looked to me. "Think your great company." She finished, quickly averting her eyes back to Seth.

"Well stay then! Or better yet... come to my place for dinner tomorrow night! " He offered, his face lighting up like a damn Christmas tree.

"I don't think your sister would like that very well... " She explained, nervously tucking her hair behind her left ear.

"Oh you leave her to me. Come on please. Mom would love to see you." He begged.

Bella shrugged. "Okay... I don't see why not." She said with a small smile. "Want me to bring anything?"

"Nope, just yourself Bella!" Seth replied, chastely placing a kiss on her cheek before heading back out of the garage. "See you tonight Bella! Six okay?"

"Yeah... that's fine Seth. See you then." She replied, biting her bottom lip.

I watched Seth leave. Feeling a bit jealous. I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned against the work bench, sighing.

Don't be ridiculous. I thought to myself. It's just Seth. An innocent crush. Nothing more. Sam however looked to be in shock as he stared at me.

"Hey Sam... do you think you could give me a ride home?" She asked.

Sam glanced out toward the truck, then back to her. "Well I would, but Emily has me doing a bunch of errands, and ya know how women are." He laughed. Bells smiled and nodded.

"Yea. I think I have a pretty good idea. It's fine... I'll call Charlie and see if he can't come pick me up later." She said, taking her cell phone out of her jacket pocket and dialing.

Sam glanced over to me, wide eyed, as I hurriedly thought of how the hell to get out of this.

"Bells weren't you saying the other day that you wanted to see Emily soon? Talk about the art classes she's been taking?" I asked.

She turned to me then. " Yea I was. I'd love to see her. "

"Well she is home. Maybe Jake here can run you over and you could see her while we talk about some pack stuff. Ya know... patrol schedules and all. Pretty routine and boring. Nothing you'd want to hear I'm sure." Sam joked.

"Okay... Jake is that fine if you take me over? "

I nodded. " Sure thing Bells."

I was beyond thankful she still wanted to go see her. It worked out well. With that Sam said his goodbyes and left us. I listened to the truck rev a few times before speeding out of the driveway. I wasn't out of the woods yet, but For now it worked anyway.

Bella slowly turned and walked up to me, keeping her eyes down cast till she reached me. When she locked eyes with me, there was a real fear in them. Of what I wasn't sure.

"Thank you." She breathed to me. "For letting me stay here the past few days... For... being there." She sighed. "But..."

I braced myself for what she would say next. But... There was always a but... I had done this song and dance with her so many times before that I knew it by heart, and had come to expect it. I kept my eyes on hers. Silently pleading with her not to tell me what she had so many times before.

"I think it's for the best that I go home. You know... think about some things... I'll uh... have Sue take me home after I have dinner over there. After all... you can only damage something so many times before it can no longer be fixed Jake."

I felt like shit and what was worse was I knew she believed it. That we weren't the same... that the damage was done. I had been guarded with her, the best I could anyway, since she came home. This was my defense mechanism. My only hope in hell of surviving if and when she went back to him.

He had her so wrapped up in his spell that I feared, even after what he'd just done to her, she would still go back. Still believe his lies.

If I broke down and told her the truth, I knew the price I would eventually pay for it. I had barely survived last time. It took me weeks to even function right when I got that wedding invitation. It was like a knife to the heart. The pain like nothing I had felt before. I would have willingly been crushed again at the newborn battle then go through that kind of hell again. But as Bella stood here in front of me, her eyes revealing to me how she truly feared we were broken and beyond repair... I felt horrible to know that's how she felt.

What choice did I have but tell her. I wouldn't ever hurt her like that intentionally. Sam's words were now echoing through my head... "They would avenge his death... maybe even come after Bella..."

I felt like this was an impossible situation. I starred down at her, my resolve slipping... fast.

I took a step toward her, our bodies a mere inch apart. I leaned in even closer to her. Speaking in just a whisper to her now.

"Bells... I..." I stopped, finding the right words difficult to say... a war going on within me.

Could I do this again? Could I go through this again? Tell her how my feelings for her hadn't changed? She already knew how much I had cared for her. She knew what she meant to me, but with as guarded as I had been lately, I'm sure she thought that maybe this was no longer the case. That I had fallen out of love with her.

She sighed. "I understand Jake."

No you don't. You really don't. I thought as I looked into her eyes. What I saw there was what I had always seen there... my future. Our future. How do you pull away from someone who you've loved since childhood. How do you pull away from the one person who knows you better than anyone else. It was the most painful thing in the world to try, and I was losing my strength for it. Loving her was just apart of who I was. How the hell was I going to change that now and even if I tried... would I really want to?

Bella pressed herself into me, wrapping her arms around my waiste, and laying her head on my chest. I closed my eyes and listened to her rapid heartbeat.

"I've hurt you enough..." She whispered, slowly pulling away from me now, and letting me go. I felt like I couldn't breathe as I watched her walk out of my garage. I balled my hands into fists and kicked a spare tire that lay next to me sending it flying across the floor. I wouldn't be able to keep this act up for long. It was hell.

A sound from behind me caught my attention. I whipped around to see Sam standing there.

" Where the hell did you come from?" I asked. My tone clipped from frustration.

"I've been in the woods, out back... listening..."

"What... you know I hate that Sam." I replied, leaning up against my bike. My tone edgy with him.

"I know but I had to. I gotta know what your plan is here man."

"I don't have one right now... I wished the hell I did... I do know one thing... Me keeping this from here sucks..."

"Your guarded with her, Jake..." He stated.

I sighed, glancing down at my feet. " Ya... I am..."

"That's a change." He replied.

I lifted my head. Not able to answer him.

"I have to ask man... eventhough I already know the answer. You do still love her, right?"

I nodded, not daring to talk in fear of not trusting how my voice would sound.

"Well now that Cullen's gone..." He hinsted.

"Don't." I stated firmly.

"What... you really think she'd go back to him after all this shit?"

"I don't know Sam. I really don't." I replied, falling silent now. I had nothing left to say on the matter.

"She'd be foolish Jake." He added, now pacing in front of me. "When she went out into the woods to meet you at the reception... I couldn't help but ask myself : Why in the hell is she Marrying Cullen if her whole face lights up when she see's Jake? I just don't get it man... I do know one thing though. If it were Emily, and I knew that her heart was not soley mine but some of it belonged to another, as much as it would kill me, I'd let her go. I couldn't spend years, or in their case... centuries even... being married to someone who loved another. I don't understand... but then again I stopped trying to understand Bella a long time ago."

I pushed myself away from my bike and glanced over to the picture tacked up on my wall. All of Sam's points were valid and they were one's I too had thought of many times. I would ask myself Why she was marrying him when she lights up to see me, when she loves me too. It was a question I never could get an answer for... even now. I know If the roles were reversed somehow... would I be able to give up the woman that I loved because she had feelings for another,.. or heart heart was not soley mine as Sam had said. Would I...? But than I remembered... I had already done that.

Sam took my silence with a knowing nod and patted me on the shoulder as he headed out the garage door. "Hey I better get back home. Emily has some things she want me to do around the house today. I'll be sure to tell her that you may swing by with Bella tomorrow?"

"Yea..." I nodded..."Thanks Sam."

"No problem... later." He replied, running out of the garage.

I sighed and soon followed, walking back into the house and dreading facing Bella Again. Keeping this from her was hell and I hated every damn minute of it.

I closed the front door once inside and called for her. "Bells? "

She didn't reply. I glanced around and saw she wasn't in the living room or the kitchen. I called for her again. "Bells? "

Still no reply. I wandered down the hall and noticed my bedroom door was now closed. She had probably fallen asleep. It was getting late. She was still exhausted... in all sense of the word.

I reached my door and opened it, wanting to check on her. It was something I did instinctively. Something I never would have thought twice about... until now.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight Saga Series. They all belong to Stephanie Meyer.

**CHAPTER 5**

(JACOBS POV Continued...)

My eyes fell on her bare back facing me. She was changing and wearing nothing but her jeans.

She gasped and glanced over her shoulder when she heard me come in.

"Jacob! " She said, quickly drapping her blouse over herself.

I reflexively shut the door, but not before my eyes had seen the bruises that lined her back. I gripped the door knob and stared down at the floor.

It was too late. I couldn't erase what was just before me. I wished the hell I could.

Deep bruises of purple covered her back. Some of them in the shapes of handprints. His handprints...

I stepped back from the door. Feeling my whole body go rigid and begin to shake as my inner wolf clawed at me. Ripping me up from the inside out.

I felt the intense, overwhelming heat surge up my spine, leaving me helpless to it, as rage for Cullen poured over me. Drowning me in it, suffocating me, and consuming me whole. It was a rage so thick, I feared I would not resurface from it. I had strict orders to follow from Sam. He was my Alpha... I was not...

I tried to stop them but the graffic images of how the many bruises had got there to begin with, now bombarded my mind. Leaving me so angry with him I could hardly contain the tremors that rocked through me, initiating my phase.

I knew I had to get a grip. I couldn't lose it like this and phase in the house with Bella here. I could hurt her and I would never do that.

I paced back and forth in the hall. Slowly breathing in and out, as a slew of profanity for that leech fell from lips. I balled my hands into fists and tried to keep my focus.

My bedroom door opened and Bella stepped out, now dressed. Her eyes meeting mine from down the hall.

"I'm sorry... I should of knocked." I said, feeling the tremors begin to subside slowly at the sight of her... very slowly.

She nodded in reply and wrapped her arms around herself again. My eyes dropped to her midsection, seeing her trying to hold herself together.

Bile rose in my throat as I thought about how many more there were... But the more I thought about it, the more angrier I became. So I stopped the thoughts. For Bella's sake I had to.

She dropped her gaze to the floor. I however, kept my eyes on her. I knew I had been guarded, and I knew that I should still be, but as I walked up to her, I felt my guard come crashing.

She was trembling when I reached for her, slowly pulling her to me. She kept her eyes on the floor. Refusing to look at me.

I watched as the tears ran down her face as I took her face in my hands and lifted it. Her eyes falling on mine now, as I wiped her tears away.

I swallowed hard and fought to keep my own emotions in check. Seeing the hurt in her eyes and the physical evidence on her beautiful skin now made that hard as hell to do.

"Bells I'm sorry." I said softly to her, stroking her cheek with my thumb.

She didn't reply, instead she wrapped her arms around my neck and held herself to me. I went to tighten my arms around her, but stopped in fear of holding her too tight.

How many times had I held her tightly to me since she'd been home? Had I hurt her worse and not known it? The thought made my chest hurt.

I was walking a fine line between doing what was best for Bella and losing my shit.

Running off to find Edward and kill him looked more appealing to me all the time.

I felt her start to pull away from me with a heavy sigh.

"It's okay...I'm really tired... I just want go to bed " She said.

No... I thought to myself... It's the farthest damn thing from okay. What he'd done to her was unforgivable.

Her eyes searched mine. Reading the expression in them. I knew she just wanted to dismiss this and forget that I had just seen the proof of what he'd done to her. I chose to go along with it, for her sake alone.

"We should get going early tomorrow morning... you know to Emily's. I want to see her for a bit before heading to Sue's for dinner... okay?"

"Yea... sure..." I replied, releasing her.

"Good night Jake..."

"Night Bells... " I replied to her. "I'll be in later..."

She turned and went into my room without another word.

I stayed awake. Not able to sleep with so much on my mind again. This was becoming a pattern for me. I no longer knew what a solid nights sleep felt like.

After a while, I went back out to my garage, and worked on my car for the rest of the night. Ripping this apart and replacing that. It was a good way to keep myself distracted, but not enough to stop the images of Bella's body being bruised, from entering my head every thirty seconds or so.

When morning came, I gave up on the car and went inside to shower.

Bella was asleep still. My father was also still snoring from his room when I poured myself some coffee.

I went to my room to see her fast asleep, as I leaned up against the doorway and watched her for a while. Seeing how beautiful she was.

It wasn't long before she stirred and opened her eyes, as she sat up and looked beside her ... for me. Her expression growing worried.

I stepped through the door, as she lifted her head.

"Morning..."

"Good morning." She replied.

"Sleep well?"

"Yea... did you sleep at all?" She asked.

"No..." I admitted.

The look of worry returning when she gathered her clothes.

"I'll get ready so we can get going..."

I nodded to her as she reached me. She stopped and leaned up on her tiptoes, placing a kiss on my cheek before leaving the room.

I waited for her in the living room. My mind still full of thoughts and guilt over keeping what I knew from her.

She walked out into the living room, grabbing her jacket and slipping it on. I grabbed a dark brown sweatshirt from my room and pulled it on before getting the keys to the rabbit and walking out to the car with her.

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop thinking about the bruises as we drove to Sams. Bella was also silent most of the way.

She gave me half a smile as we reached Sam's house. I opened her door for her and saw Emily come running out over the steps. A huge inviting smile on her face.

"Oh my goodness! Bella Marie!" She chimed, reaching us in a hurry and wrapping Bella up in a hug. Bella returned the embrace with a big smile of her own.

"Hey Em! I've missed you!" She replied with a small laugh.

Emily pulled back a bit. Looking her over in a very motherly like fashion. Something Emily did with all of us.

"Have you been eating? You seem ... smaller... Come on! I'll make you something special for lunch... you say the word and I'll whip it up!" She offered

"Oh... ya know... a turkey sandwich sounds fine..." Bella replied, with a shrug.

"Well that's what I'll make!" Emily smiled. Her arms around Bella, walking into the house.

Sam waved to me from the porch and I waved back.

I went to get in the car to head back home when I saw Bella come jogging back over to me, before going inside with Emily. I stopped and waited.

"Hey um..." She paused when she reached me... "Do you... have somewhere to be or?" She asked.

I shook my head. "No... I was just gonna head back home, maybe work on a car that Tim needs repaired this week. He's supposed to drop it off soon. Why?" I asked.

"Will you stay?" She asked, leaning in closer to me. Her eyes searching mine. "I mean... if you don't want to... or if you need like... some space or something..."

"No... No Bells ... It's fine. I'll stay." I quickly replied. All defense mechanisms slowly slipping away from me now. I was powerless to stop them.

She took my hand in hers, as I shut the car door and we walked in to Sam's, seeing Emily already busy at work in the kitchen. She was dicing tomatoes and lettuce and getting out the turkey meat when we sat down at the table.

"So Bella... I've really missed having my other wolf girl around her you know. I'm glad your back..." Emily said genuinely.

She set a cup of tea in front of Bella. "Here..."

Bella thanked her and sipped her tea. "I've missed you too Em... A lot..." She smiled.

"So... one sandwich or two Bella?"

"Oh just one, Em thanks." She replied.

"Are you sure... you look like you could use another." She smiled back, setting the sandwich in front of Bella.

"I'm sure this will be fine." Bella replied. Taking a small bite of her sandwich.

"Hey now... what the hell am I chop liver baby?" Sam piped up. A teasing smile on his face.

"No... but ladies first, Sam!" She teased, before glancing over to me. "Jake... I'll make you one?"

"Uh... No thanks... Im all set Em." I replied.

Sam chuckled..."Yeah right Bro... since when do you turn down food! What are you sick or something?"

I shook my head and laughed back in an attempt to keep the mood light. "No... I'm fine... really."

"Jacob! You've never turned down one of my Sandwiches... come to think of it... you've never turned down anything here... Are you sure your not ill?" She asked, taking on a less funny tone. Truth was. I couldn't stomach anything right now if I tried.

I glanced over to Bella who was now watching me. Her eyes full of worry. I reached down and took her hand in mine trying to ease some of it for her.

"Yea... I'm fine. Just tired." I lied.

"Well okay, but if you change your mind, you know you're welcome to help yourself to whatever is here." Emily offered with a heartfelt smile. She then set a plate of three sandwiches in front of Sam, who dived in. Looking like he hadn't eaten a thing in a week.

Bella glanced over to me. A smile on her lips. She soon burst out laughing at Sam. I joined her along with Emily.

Sam who was clueless as to what the hell could be so funny, continued eating.

"What?" He asked.

"Nothing babe... You're just cute" Emily replied, kissing him on the cheek and sitting in his lap. She kissed him again on the hand and looked over to me.

"So Jake... how's Billy? Haven't seen him around much lately."

"He's good... Been fishing a lot with Tim and Charlie. You know how he is, trying to get as much fishing time in as he can before cold weather really hits." I replied.

"Well tell him we miss him around her. " She chimed.

"I will Em." I replied.

"You know... I have been trying to convince Sam here to have a BBQ... end of Summer BBQ. I think it would do you guys some good to just have a night off and relax."

Sam rolled his eyes.. " Babe... really... you want a drunk ass Paul here? You know how he is when he's had a few... Hell... half the women on the Reservation knows how he is. I mean... Yea... he's seemed to calm down a bit but he's still a far cry from a gentlemen." He laughed, giving me a knowing look. I chuckled along with him.

"Oh... So what?" Added Emily. "You'll be here to keep him in line... besides I think he's harmless anyway."

Sam sighed. "Okay... If it will make you Happy."

Emily beamed and kissed him quickly on the lips before jumping up and taking Bella by the hand.

"Come on Bella... help me make a list for tomorrow night. We'll need to make a major grocerie run!" She exclaimed.

Bella smiled and nodded, going right along with her. I glanced over to Sam, chuckling to myself.

Sam was a well known take 'no bull shit' hard ass... But when it came to his Emily. There was nothing he could ever refuse her.

It was a kind of love that people admired and also stung a bit for those who were not fortunate enough to have there own kind of love.

"Well I guess were having a BBQ tomorrow night." Sam said, glancing out the window.

"Guess So." I replied.

"Already know what I'm in for with Paul. "

"Yep..." I said, leaning Back, placing my hands behind my head.

We all knew how Paul could be when he had a few too many. To say he was a bit of a player would be a drastic understatement at best. I would go with man whore.

I glanced over to see Bella now laughing about something with Emily. Her whole face lighting up. I couldn't help but stare at her. Admire her beauty. She was breathtaking and so unaware of it.

Emily went to check the fridge and Bella looked my way. Her eyes meeting mine. She gave me a small smile and I returned it before she went back to making her long list.

Emily rambled on about what they would need for potatoe salad, along with all the other fixings. Emily never gave anything but her best when it came to cooking. She poured all of herself into it. It was always her way of showing you just how much she cared. We loved her for it.

Sam saw my stare and followed it. I ripped my eyes away from Bella upon hearing him clear his throat. I shook my head and he laughed. He had caught me entranced with her and he knew it... Jackass...

Soon it was time for Bella's dinner at Sue's. We said our goodbyes as Emily hugged Bella tightly before reaching for me and whispering. "Take care of her..." To me.

I nodded to her, but she already knew that I would. That went without saying.

We left and drove the quarter of a mile to Seth's, who was waiting on the porch when we pulled in. He waved to me and I waved back. Still feeling a bit of jealousy as I noticed his choice of outfit. He had dark denim jeans and a light blue dress shirt on. Certainly not the jeans and ripped sweatshirt I was used to seeing all the time. It wasn't lost on me that he had chosen to dress up for her.

I parked the car and glanced over to Bells to notice She was smiling. Looking even a bit nervous.

"I don't think Leah's gonna like this." She stated.

"Yeah well... if she gives you too much trouble... call me." I offered.

"Okay... I will..." She replied before leaning over and kissing me on the cheek. "See you in a few hours..." I heard her say as she shut the door and jogged over to Seth. He scooped her up in a big hug and led her into the house. A small ache formed in my chest at the thought of him possibly imprinting on her. I could only hope that would never happen.

I backed up and pulled out of there driveway, heading for home when Leah suddenly appeared. She yelled to me. I hit the brakes and saw her walking up to the car... great... here we go.

She popped her head into my open window.

"What the hell is this about?" She asked. Clear annoyance in her tone as she gestured toward her house.

"Uh... you're having dinner tonight with Bella... Seth invited her. I'll be back to get her later. " I explained. Not able to hide my sarcasm from her.

"Obviously." She spat back.

I shot her a warning glance. She held her hands up in mock surrender.

"Alright, alright... but she better not have any ideas of growing sweet on Seth... or else." She threatened, leaning away from my car and running inside to join them.

I sighed and left. Leah was just being... well Leah... Like Bella would fall for Seth. I mean don't get me wrong, he was smart, had a big heart and came from a great family. But he was also three years younger than Bells. They were just friends. Despite his obvious crush on her, I didn't think she shared the same sentiment for him.

Leave it to damn Leah to even put that shit in my head. Like I didn't have enough going on in there to begin with.

I was soon back at my place and threw myself down on the couch. I was beat and my eyes were heavy as I set my phone next to me on the coffee table and drifted off. My body beyond exhausted from all the extra patrols lately. We were all beat.

I didn't get the chance to sleep long. I woke up shortly after to hear my cell phone ringing. I reached over for it. My eyes still half closed.

"Hello?" I answered. My tone heavy with sleep still.

"Yea ... Jake man it's Paul. There's something you need to check out."

"What...Paul... I seriously am running on empty Bro." I replied.

"Trust me. You want to meet me." He replied, hanging up the phone.

I glanced at the screen to see he was gone. What the fuck?

I stammered to my feet. Splashing some cold water on my face to wake me up before grabbing my keys and heading back out. This had better be good or he was in for it.

I pulled into Paul's driveway a mere five minutes later. He came running up to me as I got out of the car. Eyes wide.

"What..." I asked as I got out

"Come with me." He said grabbing my arm. I pulled back sharply.

"Paul... I swear... this had better be important man." I warned as I followed him to his back yard. I followed him through a small trail a ways back in the woods when he suddenly stopped in front of me and glanced back to me.

I looked around, trying to see what this was all about. The forest was eerily quiet, no birds, or even squirrels... That's when it hit me. That sickeningly sweet aroma. The one that made my blood boil and my stomach turn.

"You can smell that stench right?" Asked Paul.

"Yeah..." I replied through gritted teeth. Tremors began to roll through me. I didn't stop them or try to control them. I let them take me over. I barely had time to strip before phasing.

I was now on all fours. My senses on over drive. It was strong... and familiar. Cullen...

Paul phased instantly behind me. Our minds now linked together.

"It's him man. It's gotta be." He added, glaring around him.

"Lets go." I thought to him.

We took off running. Following the trail. It was leading me right where I feared it would... To Bella's house.

My mind flooded with images of Bella's tear stained face and all the pain he'd caused her as I dug in deeper and ran with new speed. Making it hard for Paul to keep up, but he did none the less.

We were in her back yard in minutes. The scent was so strong it was hard to take. My eyes fell on her window. Fury pouring over me as I thought of the possibility that he was in there. I glanced to Paul.

"I got your back Jake." He huffed to me, reading my mind.

Suddenly a blur came from the front door. Edward stopped and saw us there in the trees. He flew in the opposite direction now. Running like the little coward he was.

I saw red and took off after him. Paul hot on my heels as we dashed through the forest.

Paul's head was full of profanity as we chased him to the border.

I picked up my speed when I saw him just in front of me. He wasn't getting away. No way in hell.

I heard Paul yell a warning to me in his head.

"Jacob.. wait... don't! Sam will have your ass for taking him on alone..."

"I don't give a fuck!" I spat back as I pushed myself harder and caught up with him.

I lunged for him, knocking him to the ground with me. He hissed and quickly got back on his feet as I backed up, baring my teeth to him. Furious snarls ripping from me and echoing off the tree's around us. My eyes set on his as I relived the pain He'd put Bella through.

I laid it all out there for him to see. I wanted him to hurt.

I saw him visibly flinch as he read my mind. The many bruises that now covered her back that he had placed there.

"I won't fight you Jacob." He said. His tone barely audible. "I had to see she was safe."

I roared in fury. Snapping my teeth at him.

"Safe... you broke her to begin with. Shattered her... not once but twice now."

"I know... I have no right to be here..." He added.

"No you sure as hell don't." I agreed. My tone not hiding my anger.

I wanted nothing more than to end him. Right here. Right now. But as I glared at him, snarls still pouring from me. I heard Sam's voice from our conversation before. As much as I hated him and wanted to end his miserable existence, I knew sam's worries were valid. They would seek revenge for him and that would put Bells at a huge risk. One I wasn't willing to take. Not for anything.

"That's not the case." Edward replied, after reading my thoughts. "My family would not harm Bella. They care for her too much. Even if you chose to end me now. I wouldn't fight you off."

I huffed and swiped my paws in front of me. "I somehow doubt that. I don't trust a fucking thing you say." I sneered back.

"I know your love for her Jacob... even now. What I've done to her... is not forgivable."

I ran up to him, placing myself inches from his face. "No it's not!" I roared to him.

"I knew she would have you when she came home. I knew you would be there for her... take care of her. I just needed to see for myself that she was okay. I will not be returning to Forks. My family and I have decided to keep our distance. We will be keeping a watchful eye on the Volturri in the future. As it was promised to Aro that Bella would be changed. I give you my word. We will handle it... And leave Bella to have a normal life... here."

"Your word... Is that supposed to mean something to me leech? Didn't you give Bella your word once that you would never hurt her again. That in the rest of your existence, you would never put her through that kind of pain again... I see how well your word holds up." My tone fierce with him in my mind.

He nodded in reply before turning to leave. He ran with lightening speed away from us. I watched him as he went. Everything in me wanting to go after him and rip him apart. Keeping control on myself was damn near impossible right now.

I turned to face Paul who was still furious. "Man Jake... you got better self control than I'll ever have." He thought ,as we headed back to him place.

I phased back once we were close to his yard and pulled my clothes back on just in time to see an angry Sam pulling his truck in the yard. He got out and stalked up to us with a pissed off expression.

"What the hell were you thinking, huh! Didn't I tell you not to..."

Paul stepped in between us and interupted him.

"Hey Sam... with all due respect... cool it. Jake didn't defy an order. He didn't touch that leech and neither did I. What the hell did you want us to do?" He asked.

"I wanted you to follow the order and do what the hell you were told. That's what I wanted you to do." He spat back To paul. Paul shook his head in reply.

"I didn't touch him and I wont. As bad as I want to... I know what a risk that would be to Bella. A risk I won't take. So there's nothing more to dicuss here." I said, walking around him to go home. Sam grabbed my arm roughly. I pulled it away from him. Anger evident on my face.

"Next time you call me... that's an order Jacob. That goes for you too, Paul!" He said, before walking to his truck and slamming the door. We watched him peel out, leaving a trail of dust behind him.

"Sorry Jake..." Paul offered with a shrug.

"Don't be man. I'm glad you told me. Sam will get over it soon enough. Thanks. I'll see you tomorrow night for the BBQ at Sam's?"

"Yea.." He nodded. "Sure thing."

I got in the rabbit and headed for home. I was still shaking. My hands firmly gripping the steering wheel as I thought of how close I had been to Cullen.

I hated him... I had never hated anyone or anything that way I hated him.

My phone suddenly rang in the passenger seat as I was just about back home. I saw it was Seth and quickly answered it.

"Hey Seth..."

"Hey Jake... Um... Can you come get Bella?" He asked, a nervousness to his tone.

I glanced down at my watch, noticing she'd been there for almost three hours. She was probably ready to come home by now.

"Sure... I'll be right there." I replied before hanging up.

I made the short drive over to Sue's and soon parked. Seeing Sue wasn't home as I got out and knocked on the front door. Leah answered with a beer in her hand.

"Oh. Hi Jake... Um... Before you kill me... just remember I was trying to show her a good time. I mean Girl's gotta live once in a while, right?" She asked with a shrug.

I glared at her, seeing the beer in her hand and putting two and two together.

Just then Bella came running to me. Past Leah and jumped in my arms, wrapping her legs around my waist and laughing as I caught her and held her securely to me. A bit taken back by her over joyed reaction upon seeing me.

"Hi Jake! I missed you." She beamed. "Want a drink." She offered, reaching down and taking Leah's half empty beer can.

"No honey... I'm okay... thanks." I chuckled and shook my head.

Leah gave me a side glance. "Well see ya later."

Seth looked nervous as he glanced up to me. "I'm really sorry. I went to the store for like 30 minutes man and when I came back this is what I found." He said, gesturing to a laughing Bells still pressed to me.

"Uh huh..." Sure...Thanks a lot Leah... Really."

"Hey... you need to lighten up... so she had a beer or two too many. Girl never lives. Let her have fun." She said, before waving to Bella and closing the door.

"See ya soon Bella." Seth piped in, before Leah closed it all the way.

I chuckled as I set Bella on her feet. She swayed and I caught her.

"Bells... Take it easy honey." I said.

"I had such a good time!" She laughed as I walked her to the car, keeping an arm around her to be sure she didn't face plant in Sue's driveway. She wasn't known for grace as it was. So this certainly made things a challenge.

I went to open the door for her and she whirled on me. Catching me of guard a bit.

"Jake." She said suddenly, a seriousness to her tone now. Her eyes gleaming up at me.

"Yeah Bells...?" I replied.

"Can we not mention this to Charlie... I don't think he would approve..." She pleaded.

"Sure, Sure... your secret is safe with me sweetheart..." I replied with a laugh.

She leaned into me. "I'm always safe with you..." She whispered.

I couldn't take my eyes off hers as she said this.

"Yea... you are..." I replied sincerely, caressing her cheek. "We better get you back to lay down till this wears off." I sighed, opening the passenger side door for her. She slid in and thanked me.

The drive home was brief and full of Bella's laughter. At what though I wasn't sure. I didn't think she knew either. I just chuckled along with her.

Once we were back at my place, I helped her in and took off her jacket for her.

She swayed on her feet while trying to take off her shoes. So I knelt down in front of her and slid them off for her.

I had never seen her like this and I must say it was a sight. She was an enjoyable, funny kind of drunk. Which beats an angry one I guess.

It didn't change the fact that I was worried for why she had drank so much to begin with. I damn well knew what she was trying hard to do... erase the thoughts and memories and feel nothing for a while. I hated that she was put in that position to begin with. She didn't deserve that kind of pain.

Bella walked into the kitchen and sat at the table. " I'm kind of hungry. " She said, glancing up at me.

"Didn't you eat at Sue's?" I asked.

"Well yea... sort of... but I'm still hungry now..."

"I'll make you something... what do you feel like?" I offered.

"Um... pancakes?" She replied. I chuckled as I got out the ingredients and frying pan.

"You want pancakes at nine at night?"

"Mmm - Hmm..." She replied, laying her head on the table.

I started making them and popped a few asprin with some water for her.

"Here." I offered.

She took them from me hesitantly. "What this for? "

"Oh trust me... your gonna need it soon enough." I replied, flipping the pancakes.

"If you say so." She said before taking them with a long sip of water.

My dad came home then and wheeled himself into the kitchen with us.

"Well Hello there Bella." He smiled.

"Hi Billy." She replied, getting up and throwing her arms around him.

My father gave me a wide eyed look and I just laughed in response. He knew she'd been drinking and just chuckled himself. She pulled back and looked him in the face.

"You know I love you, right?" She asked.

My father nodded. " Yep, and you know love you like my own, girl." He replied, a sincere smile on his face.

I placed the pancakes on a plate and gave a few to dad and myself as well.

Bella sat back down and dug in. She really was hungry. I smiled, because lately she had been eating barely enough to keep a small bird alive.

"So I take it Leah got you into some trouble tonight?" My father asked her. She nodded sheepishly in reply.

"Well... be careful you." He added, patting her on the shoulder.

"I will... don't worry about me Billy." She laughed as she finished her pancake.

" Oh I do Bella... I do. " He replied to her with a wink.

Bella placed her plate in the sink and stumbled back to the table. I reached for her so she wouldn't fall and pulled her into my lap while I finished.

She sighed heavily and ran her fingers through my hair.

"What would I do without you Jacob Ephraim? Your my own personal sun... always shining light in my darkness." She whispered.

I stopped eating my pancake upon hearing the sincerity in her soft tone, and glanced over to see my dad staring at us.

Bella laid her head on my shoulder, her face nestled into my neck as I tightened the arm I had around her.

My father cleared his throat. "Well this old timer is headed to bed. I'll see you in the morning."

"Night dad. " I replied.

"Yea... night Billy..." Bella said, keeping her head on my shoulder.

"Good night son...Good night Bella..." He said, wheeling himself down the hall and into his room. I listened and heard his door close as I pushed my plate back and felt Bella's hand take mine.

"It's true you know. You're my light Jake..." She said, lifting her head slowly, eyes meeting mine. She leaned her forhead against mine, closing her eyes. "Sometimes I feel like I'm never gonna be the same... Like I'm just gonna fall apart... Shatter like before..."

I knew this was the beer talking, alcohol being like a truth serum and all. But her tone told me it was her truth. What she feared most.

"I won't let that happen Bells." I vowed to her.

She pulled back a bit and nodded. Her eyes locked on mine. "You're amazing Jake." She whispered.

I shook my head. "I just... care... for you..." I replied. Choosing my words carefully.

She kissed my cheek and got up slowly.

"Thanks for the pancakes. I'm gonna go get ready for bed."

"Okay..." I replied, standing up with her.

I watched her walk into the bathroom, taking it slow and still unsteady on her feet. I sighed heavily and tossed my plate in the sink.

Having moments with her like that made my heart rip wide open again. The intimacy we shared in just being together made me ache for what I knew a future with her would hold. A future I greatly feared would never happen.

I turned around to see my dad there, jumping me a bit.

"Jeez dad!" I chucked. "You scared the shit out of me."

"Sorry son... Mind helping me out. I'm stiff tonight."

"No... of course I don't mind." I said, lifting him up out of his chair and carrying him into his room.

Since we were kids and mom died, we always took care of dad. Each of us taking turns with helping him with the simple things. We always had help with him from Sue and some of the other elders on the Rez. They were constantly offering a helping hand with this or that. It was one big family to dad. Over time it became like second nature to us and when Rebecca married, and Rachel went off to college, I took over completely. I knew my father always felt bad for asking me to help him but I would remind him how he didn't need to. I would always take care of him. Nothing would ever change that. He had made countless sacrafices for us as kids and to this day. This was the very least I could do.

I laid him on the bed and stretched out his legs for him before covering him up and saying goodnight. He thanked me as I went to close the door.

"Your welcome dad... I love you."

"Love you too, son." He replied.

I latched the door closed and went back to cleaning up the kitchen. To my surprise Bella was already in there cleaning the whole damn thing. She was doing the dishes and sweeping the floor. I glanced down to see she was wearing my flannel again. Her head popped up when she heard me come in.

"I just thought I'd clean up... I mean after all... you did cook Jake." She said with a small smile.

I simply nodded. Not able to stop looking at how good she looked in my shirt. Her eyes followed my stare.

"Oh... Um... you know what.. I can change or... something if you want your shirt back."

I walked up to her, shaking my head. "No... as a matter of fact Bells... you can keep it honey... it's yours now."

She smiled widely at me. "Really? I can?"

I nodded. "Yea..."

"Thanks... I'll take good care of it..." She replied as I went to wash the dishes. "You don't have to do that Jake... I can get them"

"I know you can... but I want to help." I said, washing and drying the few plates in the sink.

A silence fell around us as she finished sweeping the floor. She put the broom and dust pan back and walked over to me as I dried the last dish and put it away. I could see there was something on her mind.

"Penny for your thoughts..." I offered. She smiled and nervously ran her hands through her hair.

"I was just thinking... you take care of your dad all on your own now that Rebecca and Rachel are gone... I mean I knew this all along... I guess I just never thought too much about it till being here, and seeing you care for him the way you do." She said.

"Yea... We manage. Sue's been great... when I took off... she was really here for him and kept the house up like I said... That's why I called in and checked on him as often as I could. I'll always be grateful to her for that time. She does a lot for us." I replied.

Bella nodded... "You really are beautiful... in more than just one way Jake." She sighed. Her eyes searching mine.

I glanced down at the floor unable to hold her intense stare for long.

"If you say so Bella... I think that's the beer talking." I laughed.

She placed herself closer to me."Why do you cut yourself so short... You should believe it cause it's true."

I stared down at her. Her eyes looking right through me. Those same familiar words now on the tip of my tongue again.

"Well... I guess I should get some rest... Um... I will see you in the morning. Oh and I'll head back home tomorrow night... dont want to over stay my welcome."

"Bells... I..." I started. She simply shook her head in protest.

"No It's okay Jake... Really I'm not hurt by it... I understand. Good night." She said, leaning up on her tip toes and kissing my cheek. She smiled and walked out into the living room. Laying down on the couch.

I walked in after her. "Bells... you don't have to take the couch. You can have my bed tonight."

"Are you sure... I mean... you haven't been able to sleep much lately."

"I'm sure. I'll take the couch, honey." I offered.

She nodded. "Well okay... If you insist. Thank You." She replied as she walked down the hall and into my room.

I listened as she closed the door before falling down onto the couch exhausted myself.

I listened to the soothing sound of her heartbeat. The sound so sweet to me. Like a soundtrack to my life. I could only hope that she would sleep well tonight.

I was out in mere minutes and was grateful when sleep found me.

I managed to get about four hours before I awoke to hear the familiar agonizing sound of Bella screaming.

"Stop! Please stop!" She screamed over and over.

I jumped up off the couch and ran down the hall. It had become almost routine now as I rushed through the door and went to her.

"Stop! Stop!" She continued to scream. I knelt down beside her and touched her face.

"Bells... honey... wake up..." I said to her. Trying to wake her and pull her out of the hell she was in.

Her nightmare continued despite my attempts.

"Bells... it's jacob... Honey... come on wake up for me." I pleaded with her.

Seeing her like this hurt like hell. It was a form of torture for me. Knowing that she was broken in ways that I feared I may never be able to put back together for her.

She screamed again. Tears running down her face. " Please... Please stop!"

I couldn't take it. It was more than I could stand. I got into bed with her and pulled her back to me. Securely wrapping my arms around her.

"Bells..." I whispered to her.

I heard her suddenly gasp as she startled awake.

"Jake...Jacob..."

"Yea it's me honey... I've got you..." I replied. She sighed. Her breathing coming in gasps. Her body trembling from head to toe.

"I hate this..." She cried. My heart broke for her.

"I know... I know you do honey..." I replied. I realized the tight grip I had on her as I held her and loosened it a bit. Not wanting to hurt her.

I swallowed hard as I thought of the bruises that lined her back.

She slowly sat up and turned to face me. Her tears still streaming as she tried to wipe them away.

"We never really did talk about earlier..." She started. I cringed inside as I pieced together what she was reffering to.

"I don't ever want to push you into talking about this when you don't want to Bells."

She sighed... "I shouldn't have just assumed you weren't inside yet... I thought I'd have time to change. It wasn't your fault... it's mine Jake."

I didn't know what was worse... her being tormented with this... or her being a martyr and blaming herself for everything.

"Bells... It's not your fault. None of this is."

She whipped her head up to me. A look of disbelief on her face.

"How... How can you say that? This is my fault. What happened with Edward... was my fault. He warned me... so many times he tried to tell me."

"Stop doing that... please..."

"What?" She asked.

"Blaming yourself!" I sighed. "Bella... he should have known better. When you truly love someone... you think of there needs first. Even if it doesn't thrill them, or fulfill there wishes at the time. You do what's best for them. Love is selfless... not selfish Bella."

She stared at me long and hard before speaking again.

"Kind of like us..." She whispered, Keeping her eyes on me. I stared back. Feeling that familiar pull again.

"Yea... kind of like us..." I replied. The words tumbling out of my damn mouth before I could think better of it and stop them.

I immediately regretted it as I waited for her reaction.

" You were so... scared for me..." She breathed "I'd never seen you like that Jake... Truly afraid."

I got up and paced back and forth as she slowly moved and sat on the edge of the bed.

"I'm sorry... I wasn't trying to bring back a bad memory... I just..."

"No Bells." I said...stopping her. " It's not that..."

"Then... what is it? " She asked.

I went over to my window. Looking out into the night. Seeing the shadows reflect off the trees from the moonlights glow.

"I was terrified for you because I knew what could happen... And I knew that no matter what I said you wouldn't change your mind. I felt... helpless Bella. Useless... I wanted you to change your mind... I wanted you to wait till he changed you at least. I hated that I had made a scene like that in the woods, but... If I had to, I'd do it all over again. Especially now... "

I shut my mouth with that cause I knew if I went on I would tell her everything in my heart. So I stopped before it was too late.

I had been so wrapped up in my thoughts in this moment that I hadn't heard Bella approach me from behind.

She took my hand. " Jake..." I slowly turned to face her.

"I..." She started as she bit her bottom lip. " I can't tell you how sorry I am... I know it's not nearly enough... But I am sorry... So sorry."

I nodded... "I know honey... You need your rest... I'll be right out here if you need anything okay?"

She sighed as I kissed her forehead and went to leave.

"Jake wait." She said to me as I reached the door. I stopped where I was. My hand still on the door.

"Stay? Please?" She asked. A real fear in her tone.

I turned around the moment I heard it and met her gaze. My heart and head were once again at war with each other...

I wanted to stay but then I knew how laying with her and holding her close to me like that would set my mind a blaze with thoughts again that shouldn't be there. Thoughts that I had worked hard to control the best I could.

She saw the hesitation and ran her hand through her hair. Her gaze dropping to the floor.

The truth was I could deny her nothing... nothing.

"Okay... I'll Stay." I replied.

She climbed into bed. Laying down and nestling into the comforters.

I got in on the other side behind her. Laying on my back and glancing up at the ceiling. Bella turned over, laying her head on my chest.

I wrapped an arm around her and listened to her breathing as she fell asleep. I knew I might be in for a long night but with her in my arms I didn't care. She was worth it... all of it.

Bella finally slept through the night. No more nightmares...

I awoke to the sun peering in through my window. I sighed and glanced down to see Bella was now pressed into my chest. Her back facing me. My arms wound tightly around her.

I must have moved with her in my sleep. I knew I should move and as much as I didn't want to... I had to.

I gently moved my arms out from under her and inched back trying not to wake her. Bella stirred and rolled over. Cuddling back into me. Her hands touching my chest.

I got lost looking at her beautiful face. Which was now flush with color. I touched her face and felt how warm she was. Being tangled up in me all night would certainly do that.

I laid there, just looking at her. My thoughts running wild with a millions "What if's..."

I stopped them immediately. Knowing it would lead me nowhere. She wasn't mine and I feared she never would be. So dreaming of her in a way that made her mine was just a form of torture for myself in the long run.

I heard movement from the living room and checked my watch to see it was nearly ten in the morning... holy shit... I thought as I tried to get up.

Bella wrapped her arms around my neck and moved her head onto my chest again. How the hell was I going to move with this angel sleeping on me?

I finally gave up and decided to just lay there until she woke up on her own.

It turned out that wouldn't be too long.

She opened her eyes shortly after. "Hey..." She whispered. Her eyes meeting mine.

"Hey you..." I replied.

She glanced around, seeing the room lit up with sunlight.

"What time is it? " She asked.

"Um... Ten - twenty..." I replied, glancing at my watch.

" Bella's eyes grew wide. " Wow... I haven't slept that long for... well in forever..." She sighed, running her hands through her hair. " Jeez... I must be a mess. " She said, looking a bit self- conscious.

"You're never a mess... you're beautiful... all the time..." I said, getting to my feet and glancing over to her. She blushed and smiled a bit.

"Is it just me or is it really warm in here." She asked.

"Yea... that's probably my fault." I chuckled.

"Oh..." she sighed... " Well I wasn't complaining. " She laughed.

She got up and wandered over to me "I'm gonna owe you ... like a lot... ya know... for putting up with me."

I didn't answer her as I leaned in and kissed her forehead before heading out with her to the kitchen. It was my own way of telling her she didn't owe me a damn thing.

My dad was already at the table, still reading his paper and drinking more coffee when I joined him.

"Morning dad." I greeted him, before slipping into the bathroom to shower.

"Morning son." He replied to me. "And how are you feeling this morning?" I heard him ask Bells before I closed the bathroom door and turned the shower on. I knew he would tease her a bit and I'm sure she was already expecting it.

I quickly showered, shaved, and brushed my teeth. I needed to meet up with Sam this morning and be sure there had been no more new trails last night while they were out on patrol. I grabbed a pair of clean boxers and jeans from the dryer and pulled them on before exiting the bathroom.

I whirled around to nearly collide with Bella.

She stopped mere inches from barelling into me and laughed. " Oh sorry... I wasn't paying attention Jake. "

" It's ok " I chuckled back, moving around her. She immediately blushed and took a few steps back, her eyes locked on my bare chest. I knew me being half naked made her uncomfortable still... especially now. So I grabbed a clean white T- Shirt from my room and pulled it on over my head, before getting my coffee.

I watched her as she talked to my dad at the table. Both of them laughing at how mad Charlie would be when he learned of the Mariners recent lose. I was glad that she had the bond she did with my father. Seeing her laugh with him made my day. She stopped and glanced over to me, seeing my eyes on her. She gave me a smile and I gladly returned it.

" Mind if I take a quick shower before heading back home ? " She asked me, rising from the table.

I nearly dropped my empty coffee mug. Shit... she couldn't go home...

"Uh... Yea... sure thing Bells. Help yourself... Take your time." I offered.

"Okay thanks." She said as she kissed my dad on the cheek. "Thanks for coffee Billy. Love you."

"Love you too, sweet girl." He replied warmly to her as she headed into the bathroom.

I filled my cup again with more coffee and thought of how I was gonna convince her to stay as I ran my hand through my hair... pondering it over.

"So Bella's heading back home today huh? Gonna be odd not having her here. I know it's only been a few days but I've gotten used to having her around already. Too bad she couldn't stay a bit longer ya know." He hinted with a wink. I shook my head.

"Well... she does miss Charlie, too Dad..." I reasoned with him.

"Yea... I know, but he called me last night... said he was awful glad she's been spending so much time here with us lately. Says your good for her."

I nodded and felt a wave of guilt hit me at what I'd been keeping from her letely. I knew I had to tell her soon. It was eating away at me already.

"Son... what's on your mind? You look like your lost in thought this morning." Asked my father.

"Oh just ... pack stuff." I lied and he knew it.

"Jake..." He stated. Like he knew better.

I stared off ahead of me. My words failing me for a brief moment My father always knew me best. I could hide nothing from him.

"I still love her dad..." I said, my eyes fixed on the table and not meeting his.

He reached over and patted my arm. " I know Son... I know... " He sighed.

A honking horn from outside broke my train of thought.

"That's Tim Son. I'll be out with him at camp till later tonight. He'll give me a ride to Sam's for the BBQ. See ya there?"

I nodded and got up, wheeling him out the front door to Tim's truck. " Yeah... I'll Be there... Bella too..." I replied after loading him into the front seat and setting his chair in the back.

Tim waved and I waved back as they drove off into town. It was a nice day out. Seeing the sky was blue as I turned around and walked back inside.

I noticed the shower was no longer running in the bathroom as I tapped on the door. " Hey Bells... you hungry... want me to cook something?" I asked.

"Um... No... I... I'm fine... Thanks..." I heard her answer me right away. Her answer wasn't what caught my attention. It was the shaky tone to her voice that had me instantly worried. I listened closely and heard her heart was racing now.

"Bells... you okay?" I asked, leaning in close to the door.

"Yea..." Long pause... "I'm... fine..." She said the words slowly and I heard her voice crack on the last word.

I knew she wasn't. I could hear it and I could feel it. Something had her upset.

I waited there by the door. My insticts telling me she needed me but my head saying just give her some space. I sighed and forced myself to wait a few more seconds before going with my instincts and saying to hell with my head.

"Bells..." I started..."You sure?"

She didn't answer me and I heard her tears as I placed my hand on the door knob and waited till I heard her unlock the door.

"Honey... Can I come in?" I asked her before turning the knob and pushing the door open.

"Yea..." She replied, so low it was barely audible.

I slowly opened the door and saw her standing in front of the mirror in nothing but a big red towel wrapped around her. Hair still wet. Tears spilling over.

I walked slowly up to her. She didn't move or look at me. Her eyes were fixed on the mirror while mine were fixed on the dozens of bruises that were now on full display for me to see. I swallowed hard at the lump that threatened to choke me.

I felt numb. Tears stung my own eyes as I looked at her beautiful skin now marked by him.

I couldn't move for a minute. The sight of them knocking the damn wind out of me.

She remained frozen herself. Her eyes still locked on her reflection in the mirror.

I moved and reached for her hand. She flinched away from me briefly before her eyes met mine. She then took my hand. Her eyes going slowly back to the mirror. Transfixed there.

It broke me...

My own tears welling up and spilling down my face for her. I never wanted to see her go through something like this. I loved her so damn much it ripped me apart.

I placed myself behind her. Keeping our fingers laced together as I slowly turned her. Willing her to look away from her reflection.

She moved slowly and kept her eyes on the floor.

I couldn't stop myself from looking at the many bruises that were on her upper arms. Handprint bruises...

I felt heat weave itself up my spine. Licking around the edges and surging through my very being as I stared at them. There were so many of them, even more then I had greatly feared there would be.

Bella refused to look up.

"Bells..." I breathed to her. My own voice thick with emotion.

She said nothing. She shook her head for a moment before backing away from me slowly.

"No..." She breathed... "No..."

She turned back around and stared again at her reflection, looking void of all feeling in this moment. Except the tears streaming down her face. She looked so lost it nearly killed me.

She began to shake and closed her eyes. " No..." She sighed again, sinking slowly to her knees. I caught her before she fell to the floor and dropped to the floor with her in my arms as she began to sob. The kind of cry that made your own heart rip apart. The kind of cry you never want to hear coming from the one you love.

I wrapped my arms around her and cradled her head to my chest. Swallowing hard and trying like hell to get a grip on my own emotions.

Try as I may... I failed. Silent tears streamed down my face as I held her to me.

Her emotions were raw. Leaving her breathless at times.

In all the time I'd known her... I had never heard her cry like this.. not even when she first came back and was in my garage. Those tears seemed so small in comparison to the ones she shed now.

"I'm sorry..." She cried..."I'm so sorry..."

I pulled back from her. Taking her face in my hands and wiping her tears.

"You have nothing to be sorry for Bella... nothing..." I said to her as she laid her head back on my chest, catching her breath now.

"All I've done... All the pain I caused you Jake... All the danger I put you and the whole pack in... And lying to Charlie... I'm so sorry..." She sobbed again, burying her face in my chest.

In this moment... I would give anything... anything to take this from her.

I swallowed even harder and knew that what I was on the verge of saying probably would be my own undoing in the end but I didn't care.

"You..." She continued..."You were always there for me Jake... and I have hurt you so many times...took you for granted... I wish more than anything I could take it all back."

I closed my eyes. Her words bringing fresh memories with them...

My garage with the bikes... Her laughter and warm soda... Me joining the pack and trying to keep my distance from her for her own safety... Our many walks on the beach... Her hand taking mine... Cullen coming back... Her rushing for Italy... Me trying to stop her from going, begging her to stay... The wedding invite I got in the mail that sent me running in wolf form for weeks, trying to escape that hell... The wedding reception... How beautiful she looked running into my arms in the woods that night... Me pleading with her to wait to be with him till she was changed... The fear that ripped its way through me when I watched her walk away from me that night...

It all came flooding back as I held her in the bathroom. My back against the wall. Her head on my chest. Her crying seeming to never end. I could feel my resolve slipping.

"It's okay Bells..." I whispered to her. Trying to reassure her.

"No... Not it's not... None of it..." She replied, breathless to me. "How do you not hate me Jake... You'd have every right to."

I knew I was losing this battle... The war within myself... My heart was winning and my head screamed at me not to but I did it anyway.

"Bells..." I said, taking her face in my hands again and lifting it to meet my eyes as more tears ran down her face. I wiped them away and looked into those big brown eyes that held my everything in them... "I love you... I could never hate you... Honey I love you..." I breathed to her. My eyes still locked on hers as she took in what I had just said.

It wasn't something she didn't already know. She knew how much she meant to me. Instead, it was something I think she feared was no longer true, that somehow all the damage from before was too much. That my patience had run out. What she didn't know and what I needed her to know now more than ever was that I would love her with my broken heart forever. Even if she chose to go back to him again in the end.

I voiced this out loud to her ...

"I will always love you... even if you choose to go back to him again Bells... I'll love you with a broken heart... forever honey... You're it for me, Bells... there is nobody else... there's only you..." I finished. Eyes never leaving hers.

I knew what a risk it was to tell her this but it was one that I had to take.

"Jake I..." She started and I feared what would follow. Bracing myself for what might shatter me.

She stopped and slowly reached her hand up, touching my face. I took her hand in mine. My heart was now beating a thousand miles a minute and I noticed mine wasn't the only one.

"... I love you too..." She finished as she leaned in.

Her beautiful face mere inches from mine. My eyes fell on her lips. I ached to feel her lips against mine again but I stayed still. Not wanting to push this with her. After all she'd been through, that was the last thing I wanted to do.

She leaned in even closer now. Her breathing slow and her heart racing. Her beautiful vanilla and lilac scent surrounding me.

My heart matching hers in pace. My whole body rigid and afraid to move for fear this was all a dream.

She leaned her forehead into mine, putting her hands in my hair slowly as her lips brushed mine, lingering there.

I closed my eyes. Savoring the feel of her lips as they met mine again.

Her hands ran through my hair. Sending a million sensations coursing through my very veins from the feel of it.

I melted into the kiss as all my walls came shattering and all the boundaries I had placed around my heart came crumbling down again in this very moment.

I wrapped my arms around her again. Slowly pulling her flush to me and becoming completely consumed in the kiss.

How long had I dreamed of her in my arms again like this? How many times had I ached to feel her soft lips against mine like the kiss we had shared on the mountain?

I felt her body warm to mine as I held her. My heart now hammering in my chest as our kissing continued. It was slow and sensual. Full of meaning.

I felt her slowly pull back. Her eyes still closed as I opened mine. Still not sure that I wasn't dreaming.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight Saga Series. They are the sole property of Stephanie Meyers.

**CHAPTER 6**

(Jacobs POV Continued...)

Bella slowly opened her eyes as they locked with mine. Saying so much without having to utter a single word. She removed her hands from my hair and slowly moved herself back a bit. My head spinning with what had just happened.

She told me she loved me too... But she had said that before...

I tried not to let the wave of doubt that came crashing over, me consume me, as she dropped her gaze to the floor, holding her towel securely around herself. I watched the rapid blush come to her cheeks, as she slowly rose to her feet.

"Its... It's true..." She said, seeming to see the doubt in my eyes. "I love you Jake..."

I had been this close to her before and she had still chosen him... over me.

Pain threatened to rear it's ugly head, as I thought back on this. What the hell was I doing... She was still married to Cullen... Legally...

I sighed and got up from the floor, running my hands through my hair in frustration. She wasn't thinking clearly. I would be taking advantage of her situation if I acted on what I felt for her right now. It wouldn't be right.

"Jake... What's wrong?" She asked. Her tone full of fear, and dare I say a bit or rejection.

I pulled her into a hug. Trying to reassure her in some way... But deep down I knew this wasn't the be all end all for Edward. She must still care for him, after all she was still married to him.

I had no right, and wouldn't ask her about divorcing him or what she planned to do now, because I felt that would be pushing and crossing a line with her. She didn't need that kind of pressure on top of everything else.

To add insult to injury. I was guilt ridden with the fact that I had been keeping something from her.

I kissed the top of her head and released her. My whole body screaming at me not to. My heart feeling a mix of emotions and my mind flowing with joy and dread all at the same damn time as I walked out of the bathroom and shut the door behind me, leaving her to get dressed while I cleared my head, or tried like hell to anyway.

I went outside and headed into my garage, pacing back and forth, so much shit rolling through my mind. It was hell to focus on any one particular thing.

That kiss had been so right... I could feel it. Everything in my heart told me it was right. She was right. We were right together.

My fathers words came back to me... "two halves of a whole"... neither one of us working right without the other.

Bella was everything I wanted. Everything I needed but I couldn't do this right now. She was hurting in a real bad way... confused as all hell.

Did she even know what she really wanted? Could I trust her not to break my heart again? I wanted to... I knew that... more than anything I wanted to. I felt like I was being torn in half again. Here she was... my everything... my whole damn world just within arms reach of me... kissing me even... telling me she loved me in a way I had never heard her say before, and yet still I was so full of guilt and doubt that I couldn't just be with her, or even enjoy it. The last thing I wanted was for her to feel like I was rejecting her. Hell ... she'd bee through enough already.

My frustration was tapped out as I grabbed a spare tire guage I had from my work bench and threw it.

"Shit..." I muttered under my breath as I turned around to see Bella leaning against the garage door entrance. Her eyes fixed on me and ful of rejection. It was clear on her face and made me feel all the more worse.

"I'm sorry... really sorry..." She whispered..."I thought... " She stopped and shook her head. Not finishing the sentence before turning and walking away.

I cursed under my breath again, knowing Sam would probably kill me, and that I was caving in here but I didn't care. Losing her would hurt me ten times worse than whatever hell for punishment he planned to unleash on me for what I was about to tell her.

I jogged out after her and hoped she would listen to what I had to say.

"Bell's ... wait..." I said, reaching her arm to stop her. She stopped where she was, slowly turning to face me.

"Jake.. you don't..." She began, but I cut her off. Not able to hold my tongue any longer.

"I have to tell you something... I've..." I paused, seeing the fear reflect in her eyes at me. " Been keeping something from you and I'm sorry honey... I just didn't want to hurt you... any more than you've already been hurt... "

Bella nodded in understanding and moved a step back from me. Pain evident on her face as I watched her draw the wrong conclusion.

"Well... Whoever she is... she's very lucky Jacob and I wish you all the happiness in the world with her... I'm sure she's very special... After all she'd have to be to be yours right?"

Her words nearly knocked the wind right out of me. I gathered myself and quickly corrected her.

"No... no Bells.. It's not like that... I didn't keep another relationship from you, or lie about it... I meant every word I said to you right now... You're it for me honey... It's not that Bells." I took her hand in mine... "Come here..." I said, leading her back into my garage.

My head spinning with all this shit and my heart throbbing with the fear of what her reaction might be. No matter what, I knew that I had to tell her the truth. I feared that lying further would only place a wedge between us. I knew that I couldn't keep this up. It was eating me alive, hour by hour.

Bella whirled on me once inside the garage and next to my car. Her hand abruptly leaving mine. "Why do I feel like your about to tell me something horrible?" She asked, eyes full of anxiety and worry. I sighed and leaned against my bike.

"Because I am..." I admitted.

She glanced down to the floor... "Oh..."

Bella and I had a relationship in which the very foundation was built on trust and communication. I believed it would stand the test of time, and whatever else life undoubtedly would decide to throw our way in the future. Whether it was friendship or something more.

Her eyes met mine as she glanced up from the garage floor, as I took a deep breath and told her the truth. "Bells... I should have told you this before now... I should have said something and told you the truth a few days ago but Sam thought we should wait. I can't lie to you anymore. The truth is... Edward's back in town. Has been for three days honey." Pausing when I saw her wrap her arms around herself.

I stared at her, really seeing the fucking damage he had done. The mere mention of his name made her visibly cringe, and fear flashed in her eyes. She slowly nodded, encouraging me to continue,

"His scent was picked up on Patrol with Paul and some of the others before, and recently... We saw him face to face... Paul and I... I know Sam will be pissed with me for telling you this right now. He wanted to wait. But you know me well Bella. You know I can't keep anything from you to save my damn life. So That's what I've been keeping from you and I'm sorry, honey. I really am... I got so wrapped up in this ... in what he did to you... that I saw red the moment I saw him in the woods behind Charlie's..."

Bella gasped. "He... he was at ... my house..." She shook her head, her eyes not meeting mine now.

"Yes." I nodded in reply..."He claimed to be checking up on you. I told him he wasn't welcome here anymore, and That..." I paused, not sure if I should continue by the look of her. I walked over to her and took her hands from her midsection, lacing our fingers together securely. She looked up at me with real fear.

"Bells, you know I won't let him hurt you ... right?"

She nodded frantically, still not saying anything. I continued...

"I shouldn't have kept it from you for the few short days that I did... I really am sorry. I hope you know that I would never keep something from you."

"You were only doing what Sam thought was best. I undestand Jake. He's your Alpha. Even though, I don't believe he should be." She admitted, glancing up at me..."Don't get me wrong... I mean... Sam's a great leader and I really have come to love Emily. I just... think you should be Alpha."

Her words made me go silent.

"Why? " I finally breathed to her.

"Because you're you Jake... You're strong and powerful and most of all, your heart shines through in whatever you do... Moreover... it's your birth right Jacob. You're the grandson of Ephraim Black. It is, as you know... rightfully yours. All you have to do is claim it."

I was stunned by her confession. Hell, she knew I didn't even want to be in a pack at first. Let alone run one. I was well aware of the immense amount of responsibility that came with that title. We had a similiar conversation when I had carried her to mask her scent from the newborn army that had been sent to end her last Spring. I stared at her, not sure what to say, as She searched my eyes before sighing with a small shrug.

"I do understand that it's a lot of responsibility, and you have your hands full already now... you know with just finishing school on the Rez and there's College to eventually ponder and Billy of course. You have a full plate." She said, reaching her hand up and running it through my hair, her eyes on mine with deep sincerity. "I believe in you Jake and you were made for more... so much more. I'm proud of you now, for who you are, and whatever you will choose to be. Whether that's being the Alpha of this pack someday, or simply choosing to stop phasing if there is no future threat, and attending College somewhere. I know you'll be great... always."

Hearing her say that did something to me. Deep inside of me. Of who I was. She truly was my other half. She made me believe In not only myself, but what we had. She was the only one who could understand me with one look.

"Thanks Bells." I said, unable to tear my eyes away from hers.

She simply nodded, glancing down for a brief moment. "What does he want ... Edward?" She asked.

Her question was very simple but it brought with it a world of doubt and mixed feeling for me. I sighed and told her... "Says he had to be sure you were safe." I replied, the words tasting bitter, even as I said them. Safe... yeah... like hell. He'd really kept her fucking safe.

"I know I have to see him eventually. I'm just not ready yet..."

I released her hand and touched her face as she leaned into my palm and slowly closed her eyes...

"He's gone Bells... Gave me his word he wouldn't come back. Said he and the others were leaving the area for good."

I watched the relief flood through her as she opened her eyes.

"Wait... so you saw him and didn't..." She traild off, seeing my expression.

"No.. I didn't... doesn't mean I didn't want to rip him apart. It was far from easy." I confessed to her.

"I'm surprised..." She said softly to me.

I nodded to her. "Like I said it wasn''t easy, Bells."

I heard a truck suddenly pull up, as I walked out to see Tim dropping off my dad.

"Dad's home. " I told Bella, glancing over my shoulder. She had a distant look about her. Like she was here with me but her head was a million other places.

"Well ..." She sighed. "I'm glad you told me Jake... Thank you."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier."

She shook her head. "Don't be..."

I took her hand and walked out of the garage with her to see Tim wave. He got out and extended his hand to me and then to Bella.

"Well hello... Jake... you never told me you had such a pretty girlfriend." He said, shaking her free hand and helping my dad into his chair. Billy just laughed, as I glanced over to Bella.

"Tim this is Bella... She's... just a friend." I explained, a blush on my own cheeks that matched Bella's.

"Oh Bella... okay... I remember your name being mentioned a few times by old Billy here in the past." He said to her. "Very nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too, Tim." She kindly replied to him.

Tim waved to us and said his goodbyes out the window of his truck as he drove away.

"So are we still on for the BBQ?" My father asked.

I glanced over to Bella who wore a smile.

"Yea." She replied.

"I'm game still if you are." I told her with a wink and half a smile. She blushed.

"I'd like to help Em with the food... after all ... she's probably been cooking all day, already. I can at least help her finish up." She offered.

"Sure... we can head now. I need to talk to Sam anyway. That okay dad?"

"Fine with me. Bella... I think Charlie will be stopping by sometime after eight. He mentioned he would be by after work." Dad replied.

"Great... I've missed him lately. I'll go get my jacket. Be right back." She said, placing a soft kiss on cheek before turning and walking swiftly into the house, as I stared after her.

I heard my father clear his throat and chuckle. I glanced over to him and just shook my head.

"Ya know Son... I really love that girl being around just... makes this place feel more whole in a way that it hasn't felt since your mom passed away years ago." He sighed, glancing off into the tree's around us, as they swayed in the wind.

I glanced at the front door, seeing Bells come back out with her jacket on and one in hand. She approached Billy and drapped his denim jacket over his shoulders before leaning down and giving him a hug. Her caring nature for him not lost on me now.

"Supposed to be chilly later. Thought you might need it at Sam's, Billy." She said, reaching for my hand and lacing our fingers together again. I glanced down and stared at them,Feeling that pull and reflecting for the hundredth time on what dad had said. He was right. She made me whole. I knew that for certain.

"Thank you dear." Billy said with a genuine smile. "Let's get headed you two."

I nooded and released Bella's hand to help dad get in the truck. I lifted him into the passenger side seat and closed the door, as I grabbed his wheelchair and loaded it into the bed of the truck. I noticed Bella's eyes on me as I finished.

"What?" I asked with a chuckle.

She shook her head and smiled back, nervously tucking her hair behind her left ear, as I opened the drivers side, gesturing for her to get in. She jumped in the truck and scooted over to the middle, as I got in and started it, listening to what sounded like a clicking noise as I reved the engine a few times. Billy noticed my listening and shot me a side glance.

"Ya... she needs a tune up Jake."

"I can hear that." I replied, slipping it into reverse and backing out. "I'll take it apart soon and see whats going on under the hood this time."

We were half way there when I noticed Bella's heart was beginning to race. I glanced over to her, seeing her eyes fixed on the road, staring blankly ahead. I switched hands on the steering wheel and reached for hers.

She glanced up at me, faking a smile. I knew she was nervouse, after all the last pack get together for breakfast hadn't exactly gone so well. If Leah knew what was good for her, she'd remember to keep the peace and be nice tonight. Seems like she would. They did have a few drinks together when Bells went to Sue's for dinner last night.

We pulled into Sams to see the whole pack assembled together on his porch. They all came running when we pulled in and surrounded the truck.

Seth eagerly opened Bella's door with a wide smile and pulled her into a hug, lifting her off her feet and twirling her around. She laughed. I however, felt a pang of jealousy hit me, but quickly shook it off. I really didn't have much right to be jealous... she wasn't technically mine... or Edward's anymore for that matter.

Paul opened my door and waved to dad. "Hey Billy." He said, as I got out and got his chair out of the back for him. Paul lifted him out and set him in it. "How ya been?" He asked.

"Oh... for an old man... I'd say I'm doing alright. How about yourself?"

"I'm good for the most part." Paul replied, pushing Billy toward the back yard where everyone was already gathered. Sue Clearwater and a few other members of the council were all seated, soda or beer in hand, conversation in full swing.

I walked with Bells into Sams house. She was more than eager to help Emily.

"Oh Thank Goodness your here!" Em exclaimed, rushing over to her in her blue, flour covered apron, spoon in hand. She hugged us both and took Bella into the kitchen. I felt Bells resist on letting go of my hand for a moment, as she qucikly turned back to me.

"I'll see you out there..." She said. I nodded to her, watching her now scatter off with Emily. They got busy in the kitchen and I headed out back to join the others. Paul tossed me a soda.

"Here Bro." He said, as I caught it and popped the top.

"Thanks." I replied, glancing around to see there was already a good sized turn out here, and it wasn't even dark yet. The sun would soon be setting and the fire was beginning to blaze. Leah wandered over next to me, taking the seat beside me in the camping chair.

"So..." She began. "How'd she do last night... not too much of a hangover this moring I hope." She said, eyes wearily meeting mine.

"No... She did fine..." I replied, taking a drink.

"Ya know... She's not so bad after all. I mean... don't expect us to be like best friends or anything, Jake. But I can manage to be... nice." She reluctantly said.. "Honestly ... I feel bad for her..."

I glanced over to her. Evident question in my eyes.

Leah noticed it and explained. "She.. told me... all of it..." Leah said, staring into the fire ahead of us as it blazed high. I looked at her in disbelief. Bells had been tipsy and I hated to think of what she may have spilled to Leah in a vulnerable state like that, as Leah continued.

"I tried to change the subject, but she told me anyway." She finished. I saw a visible shudder run through Leah. The sight making my insides crawl. Leah was a hard ass. She had been ever since she lost Sam. It took a lot to make her feel anything like that.

"Girls been through a lot... a hell of a lot... So anyone who can take what he did to her and not crumble, is okay in my book. So you have my word. I'll be nice to her." She said with sincerity raw in her tone.

I stared at the fire now. Listening to her every word and inwardly cringing as I glanced toward the house, trying to ignore the urge I had to just be near Bella right now. Leah noticed my silence and looked over my way.

"She talked about you too, ya know..." She sighed, taking a drink of her beer.

"She did?" I asked, not sure if I wanted to know what she would have revealed to Leah in her tipsy state.

Leah chuckled... "Yea... She thinks you're... well... in her words... The sun."

I half smiled at that and nodded.

"There's more..." Leah began again.. "But I don't want to tell you everything. She was... way tipsy and as much of a bitch as I can be. I'm not that heartless. Besides... I'm pretty sure you already know Jacob."

"That's good of you Leah. Really..." I replied, with genuine sincerity.

I was taken back by how generous she was being with all this. There was a time, not too long ago, where she hated Bells for her love of the dead that had changed Leah into what she was now. It had taken a lot from her, and I understood her pain. We all lived in it with her, through our minds anyway, for months and months. Things seemed to finally be getting better now though, week by week.

Believe me... it was a relief for all of us. Especially Sue. She was worried sick for a long time over Leah.

"You're welcome... It's cool. Really no big deal. Although, I will tell you that she blames herself for what happened, and in a way I agree with her on that." She shrugged.

I tore my eyes from the fire and met her stare. "What... what do you mean you agree?" I asked, in a clipped tone with her.

"Look Jake, I know you love her but reality is that she shouldn't have pushed the issue the way she did. She's taking responsibility for her part and I think she should. Doesn't excuse what he did... it just means she see's her blame in it. You know how I feel about the cold ones. I'm not defending them in any way."

I saw where she was coming from, and chose to keep my mouth shut as she stood up, going over to talk to Seth and give him a hard time. I noticed Seth kept looking toward the house. Where Bella was. Every few seconds he would glance toward the door.

I got the sinking feeling that maybe his crush on Bella was getting worse now that she was back here. I shook my head and leaned forward placing my elbows on my knees, staring down at my soda can, as Sam suddenly sat next to me.

"Hey ... Mind going for a walk?" He asked. I heard something in his tone that made me nod and follow him into the woods without question.

We walked a ways before he stopped to face me. We were far enough away for most not to hear, except for the rest of the pack. Well those who were paying attention. I had a feeling Seth wouldn't be listening, he was too preoccupied with Bella.

I looked to Sam who seemed edgy.

"What's up?" I asked.

"It's Seth..." Sam stated, crossing his arms across his chest. A concerned look on his face.

"What... What about Seth?" I replied, feeling like I knew where he was going with this already.

"I was on patrol with him earlier today. He's got... some... feelings for Bella." He seemed to hesitate on how he worded it.

I shrugged. "So... He's always had a crush on her, Sam. No big deal."

"I think It's more than that Jake." He said, a change to his tone.

"More?" I asked. My jealousy starting to get ahold of me. I forced it down.

Seth had become like a little brother to me. After Harry had passed so suddenly, we all looked after him. This was innocent. Sam was simply making too much of it... Wasn't he?

"Yes... More. He's had some thoughts lately that make me believe it's more than he's letting on. He let some slip today and qucikly covered it with an excuse when he knew I'd heard him. He played it off as nothing and maybe it is, but I don't know Jake. I brought it up to you cause I know what Bella means to you. I know you love her, we all know that. So if Seth... gets these ideas in his head, and tries to get close to her... You and I both know he's gonna get hurt. He's young and still grieving over Harry. I just wanted you to be aware."

I took his words in, thinking back to how excited he was to see her just now, as I sighed and glanced back towards the bonfire where everyone was. He had a point. He would get hurt. He wasn't even 16 yet.

A sobering thought suddenly occured to me, making my chest hurt. One that common sense told me couldn't be the case. I mean, the only way it would even be possible is if Seth had done a hell of a job at keeping it a secret from us... He couldn't have? Could he?

"Sam..." I said, turning back to him. "You don't think he's... imprinted on her do you?" I asked, my worry evidently clear in my strained tone. Just the thought was agonizingly painful for me to contemplate.

Sam shook his head. "No Jake. He hasn't... Not to my knowledge or anyone else's anyway. Bella and Seth barely saw each other before the Newborn battle last Spring. He could never guard his thoughts from the rest of us for so long. Just because he didn't imprint on her, doesn't mean we should dismiss his feelings for her altogether. And as for the imprint goes... We all know there is no rule for that... age goes out the window. Seth may three years younger than Bella, but that does not apply to the imprint. You know that. It's beyond evident with Quil and Claire. He loves her now like a big brother. When she's older, and if she chooses, than they'll be together, have a life together." He finished, seeing the look on my face.

I nodded and we headed back to the bonfire, an understanding between us.

We reached the edge of the woods and Sam nodded ahead of us. My eyes followed to see Seth sitting by the bonfire on a log with Quil and claire. Bells sitting on the ground in front of him, laughing along with Emily at a story Billy was sharing. Bella had Claire placed in her lap. She was twirling Bella's hair in her tiny fingers and giggling like all three year old's do. My heart stopped at the sight. Fear gripping me that he may have something with her I had been entirely unaware of until now. How deep were his feelings and were they leading to something much stronger? Something beyond a simple crush?

Sam watched my reaction and nudged me with his arm. "Hey man... Come on ... it's nothing right now. Lets not freak till it is... if it is." He assured me.

I nodded, because it was all I could manage, and silently went with him to the gathering, pushing aside my concern for now.

Food was everywhere. Emily and Bella had laid out a feast on a large fold out table. There was something of everything.

Normally, I would have jumped at the food but my mind was elsewhere. Seth saw me come walking across the lawn with Sam. He gave me a smile and a wave. I returned it and saw Bella's eyes flash up to me, a wide smile forming on her beautiful face.

I glanced to Sam and he nodded to me, reading my mind with a look. He didn't need to phase to see my worry and fear with this. The thought of Bella being with someone else... Seth... made pain shoot through my very being.

Sam ran into the house to help Emily with the rest of the desserts she had made, as I ran a hand through my hair and turned around to see Bella right there behind me.

"Where were you?" She asked, glancing to Sam.

"I was uh... talking to Sam about patrol tomorrow. No big deal. Nothing to worry about." I said, my eyes flashing to Seth whose eyes were on Bella and I as we talked. I saw it there... the look of yearning for her.

"Well ... it's okay... Seth kept me company while you were gone. He's so sweet." She said, zipping up her dark green jacket.

She had no idea how her words carried a double meaning for me right now.

"Good." Was all I could manage to reply as I saw her shiver and placed my hands on her arms, rubbing them.

"Cold?" I asked.

"A little." She said, tucking her hands in the sleeve of her jacket.

"Bella." Emily called to her from the house. "Hey, mind coming here for a sec?" She asked. Bella glanced to me.

"Be right back." She said to me as she went.

I watched her and so did Seth. His eyes nervously met mine when she retrieved into the house. I couldn't be mad at him. I didn't have the heart to. After what he had been through with his dad passing, I just couldn't.

Seth avoided eye contact when he sat back down and I feared that Sam was right. This was more then just a crush.

I saw Sam come out with Bella from the house, both carrying trays of desserts. Emily had made muffins and banana bread...cupcakes, you name it. She knew we'd eat most all of it.

By now there was close to twenty-five people here attending. Everyone was laughing and enjoying themselves. Paul came up to me, pushing into me to get my attention.

"Hey what's the deal?" He asked.

"What do you mean?" I replied.

"You seem like you're not into this... here..." He said, giving me a beer. "Come on and chill man."

I took it from him and popped the top off. It wasn't like I hadn't drank before, but never in front of Bells. Underage drinking wasn't exactly something you went around bragging about to the locals. But here on the Reservation it wasn't uncommon for the guys to do so. Eighteen wasn't twenty-one, but we all looked to be at least twenty-four so no one really ever questioned it. I stared down at the bottle and decided one or two to chill wouldn't hurt me. Lord knows it would take far more than that to ever get any of us truly wasted. We burn the stuff off within minutes cause of how warm we were all the time. It took a lot to get us drunk.

"Thanks bud." I said to him, as I sat down on a log with Paul and Embry, all the elder gathering around the campfire and listening to the many stories that were now an old right of passage or tradition whenever we would have a larger get together like this. Whether it was here at Sam's or at First Beach.

I watched Bella, seeing her set out the many desserts with Emily. Most of the guys already jumping up and snagging this and that. Paul literally almost tripped over his own ass trying to get a damn cupcake. I laughed and he laughed along with us.

"Walk much Paul?" I chuckled. He flipped me the bird and shook his head with laughter in response. Bella handed him a cupcake and he gave her a smile in return.

She seemed to really be enjoying herself with Emily. They laughed, and it did my heart good to see that smile on her pretty face. I loved her laughter, it was a beautiful sound and equally infectous. Bella glanced over my way, her eyes locking briefly with mine. I saw her blush when she caught me staring. I couldn't help it. Hell... just look at her.

She casually walked over to me and sat down on the ground. I leaned forward, setting my beer on the ground next to me and wrapped my arms around her shoulders, taking in her scent that I loved. She smiled over her shoulder at me, as she listened to some of the stories.

After a while she felt chilly to me, so I stood up and took off my leather jacket and drapped it over her shoulders.

I reached down and took a sip of my beer before wrapping my arms around her again. She placed her hands on my arms, tilting her head to the side, resting it there. I tried, but couldn't resist leaning my head down, touching my cheek to hers.

"Warm enough." I asked her in a low whisper.

She nodded and mouthed a "Thank you" to me before listening to my father start to tell one of his many stories. Everyone grew quiet and paid attention to him. He told them the best. The wind started to really blow, whipping Bella's hair around in her face. I moved it to one side for her and paid no attention to the story. I had heard it before. My attention was all on Bella. Her scent surroundng me, her face so close to mine, my arms around her. This was heaven for me. This was where my heart longed to be forever... she was like home... for my soul.

Images of the future I ached to have with her, ran wild and free in my mind as I sat there with her. I couldn't shake them. No matter how hard I tried. I felt Bella's hands reach for mine, intertwining our fingers together. I wasn't expecting it, only because it was a public display of affection. Sure, everyone knew what she meant to me. Everyone knew how much I loved this girl but I saw the look on Sue's face, and relaized this was probably the first time anyone had seen me this close to her. Sue wore a wide smile, as my eyes met hers from across the camp fire. Emily and Sam also took notice.

I glanced around and noticed Seth was now missing. Where the hell had he gone off to?

My dad soon finished his story and everyone applauded, including me. Bella seemed awe struck and fascinated by it. Billy gave her a warm smile and took a bite of his now cold burger, laughing along with the rest of the elders. I felt Bells release my hands as she stood up.

"I'll be right back. Ladies room." She whispered to me. I nodded and walked with her to Sams front door.

I stood there on the porch, placing my hands in my jeans pockets and pondering Sams conversation. Imprinting... I hated it. It killed me to think that one day, any day now, someone I had never met would cross paths with me and we would have a moment that would change my irevicable feelings for Bella. Such bullshit!

Even thinking about it made me almost pissed. It felt so wrong. It robbed you of making your own damn choice.

I had loved Bella so long that I couldn't imagine not loving her and still being me. Then there was Seth... Fuck. It would destroy me if he ever imprinted on her. To have to see them together, and hear his thoughts, and see some of what there love would blossom into. It made my heart rip wide open at even the thought. I would never get through that... Never.

I suddenly felt Bella's cool hand in mine as I turned around to see her put my jacket back on.

"It is getting chilly Bells... you want me to take you back?" I asked.

"No no... I'm really having a good time. For the first time in what seems like weeks... I'm feeling... okay... good even. Thank you for bringing me... including me. Emily is truly great." She said, drawing in close to my side, as we walked back to the fire.

Billy wheeled himself over to us. "Bella my dear... Your dad is here." He stated, waving towards the house. "He is in talking to Sam and Emily."

"I'll go get him." Bella replied, leaving my side and wandering back into the house.

My dad cleared his throat. "Sure was nice to see everyone here tonight... I've missed that... it's ... important... never know what life may bring." He stated. His tone caught my attention, as I tore my eyes away from Bells and glanced down to him.

"Dad, you okay?" I asked, seeing how tired he looked to me suddenly. He nodded, but remained silent and wouldn't meet my stare. I knelt down next to him, getting eye level. "Want me to take you home... get some rest?" I offered.

"No son... You stay and enjoy this with Bella. If I get too tired, I'll go in and sit at Sams. Don't you worry about me." He said, patting my shoulder.

I nodded and stood. "I'll always worry about you, dad."

Bella soon came back out with Charlie, hugging him as he smiled and waved to us. "How's it going Jake?" He asked, shaking my hand.

"Pretty Well Charlie and you?" I asked.

"Well it was busy... but glad to be out of work." He said, with a heavy sigh, kissing Bella on top of her head.

"Well Come on old timer." Dad teased Charlie. "Better grab you some grub before it's all gone. You know how these boys are. Growing fast they are." He laughed.

"Yea..." Charlie replied, glancing around to see Embry and Paul joking around and barelling into eachother over the last s'more. "I'd say."

I couldn't help but laugh at his reaction, as they wandered over to the food and grabbed some. Sam talking to Charlie enthusiastically about something.

Bella laughed at Paul as he cursed over Embry getting the last smore.

"You suck man." He said, storming off. I looked to Bella and just shook my head. She laughed again, shaking her own head in return.

"Jacob!" Quil yelled to me from across the lawn. "Think fast man." He said, throwing the football in his hand. I caught it and threw it back. "Come on bro... play a game?" He asked as Paul, Seth, Embry, Jared, Colin and Brady all gathered around him. Deviding off teams.

"Jake you're on mine, lets go bro." He said again, waving me over. Bella nudged into me.

"Go on..." She said with a hint of a smile on her lips..."Go kick ass Jacob."

"Okay..." I replied with a chuckle.

Bella joined Emily and Kim along with Leah and Sue, as they sat down at the picnic tables and watched, as the game began. Jared Blew Kim a kiss and I just rolled my eyes.

We played hard and we played rough. I couldn't help but laugh upon seeing Charlie's eye bug out when Embry slammed into me in a defensive move. I cursed and wrestled with him for the Ball which was still in play. Because of all the rain lately, the back yard became a mud pit as we played for over an hour. By the end of it, we won by two touchdowns and were covered in mud and sweat from head to toe.

Bella and Emily cheered for us and began laughing when they saw just how muddy we were. It had been fun though so it was well worth it in the end.

Sam grabbed ahold of Emily from behind, swinging her up over his shoulder. "Come on baby..." He laughed as Emily screamed.

"Samuel Uley! You're getting me covered in mudd! Put me down!" She laughed. He ran with her and hollered after us. "Come on boys, race ya to First beach while there's still enough light."

Embry, Paul, and Quil went off after them, mudd flying from them as they ran. Jared scooped up Kim as she tried to run away.

"Jared! don't!" She yelled and shrieked, as he caught her by the waist and threw her over his shoulder, taking off with her.

I laughed and glanced over to Bells. She saw my mischievous look and held her hands up in defense.

"Oh no way Jacob." She said, trying to dodge left and run in the house.

I faked surrender, throwing my hands in the air and then quickly chased her into Sam's house. She tried to close the front door behind her and lock me out, but I caught it in my hand and yanked it back open.

"Jacob Ephraim Black... I Mean it! Don't you dare...-" She started to warn, but was cut off with laughter as I grabbed her and lightly tossed her over my shoulder. I carried her out of the house, as she yelled to Charlie for help.

"Dad! Help me would you!"

Charlie shook his head. "Sorry Bella... Seems like you're all on your own here." He chuckled

My dad busted out laughing, as I took off with her catching up to Jared and Kim and all the others.

We all stopped and set the girls down a ways in the woods as we took cover in the trees and phased, coming out in wolf form.

Emily eagerly climbed on Sam's back and kissed his head. I approached Bella and knelt down for her to get on. She laughed.

"The things you get me into Jacob." She said, slowly climbing on and placing her hands firmly in my fur. When I felt she had a good grip. I got to my feet and took off with her. The wind blowing past us and the tree's becoming a blur. Her laughter danced around me as we all ran to First Beach, making it there in no time at all.

My paws hit the sand and stopped, lowering back down for her. She jumped off and glanced toward the ocean, the sun gone now and the moon glowing on the water.

Sam, Jared and Paul all phased back, pulling on there shorts and coming back out to the beach from the tree's. Sam ran after Emily, who tried to escape him. He grabbed her by the waist and laughed as she tried to escape. They plunged into the water. Emily screaming and Sam kissing her as they resurfaced. Kim and Jared soon followed, along with Seth and Embry and Quil. I took cover and phased back, slipping on my cut offs and running up from behind Bella. I picked her up Bridal style. She wiggled uselessly.

"No! No way! Jacob Ephraim! Put me down right now!" She threatened. Trying to sound serious, but laughing anyway.

"No way Bells. You're coming with me... it's only fair ya know. " I teased, giving her a wink, as I stopped at the edge of the sand and walked in with her. She squirmed...still screaming.

"Jacob don't!" She begged.

Sam saw us and laughed, cheering me on. "Hell yea Jake! Toss her ass in here with the rest of us. Come on in Bella. Waters warm!"

We hit the water and I tossed her in. She made a splash and resurfaced laughing, brushing her hair away from her face.

"You're gonna pay for that!" She warned.

"Oh really..." I taunted her. "You think so huh?"

"Oh I know so." She said as I dove in beside her.

I swam around her and came up under her, placing her on my shoulders and popping out of the water.

"Jake!" She laughed, holding on and trying to balance herself as I stood up in the water waist deep.

Sam saw us and dove under, Placing Emily on his shoulders as he resurfaced.

"Alright... It's chicken time." He said. "Come on Em... ya know we can take them!"

I glanced up at Bells and she grinned back.

"I wouldn't be so sure of that, Sam." Bella spoke up, rising to the challenge.

Emily leaned out and grabbed ahold of Bella's hands. They battled it out and I had to give it to Bells. She was strong, all 112 pounds of her anyway. She managed to stay secure on my shoulders, knocking Emily off Balance and into the water. She laughed as Emily popped back up, quickly getting back on Sam's shoulders and ready for round two.

"Best out of three?" I asked Sam.

"You bet." He replied, trying to steady Emily better as she moved around. I cheered Bella on as they went round after round. Bells was now cheering as we won another round.

Sam cursed. "Shit."

I laughed and Dove under the water, dropping Bella in with me. She splashed me as we came to the surface. I splashed her back.

"Hey Bells... what the hell?" I laughed.

"Okay, Okay... Truce?" She asked, running her hands through her soaked hair.

"Truce." I agreed, noticing Sam and Emily and the others were now heading in.

"Hey, you two coming or what?" He bellowed, as they reached the trees. I looked over to Bella and she shrugged to me with a smile.

"Go on ahead. We'll catch up later." I yelled back to him. He nodded and took Emily by the hand walking back with her and the others

Bella sighed and glanced up at the moon. "It's Beautiful." She said.

Nothing compared to you. I thought as I stared at her face, lit up with the moonlight now. I saw her shiver and moved myself closer to her, placing my hands on her arms and rubbing them, as she glanced down into the water. Her stare becoming blank and fixed there.

"Bells...?"

She remained silent. However, her racing heart made me know where her mind was. I moved and placed myself in front of her now.

"Hey..." I said, taking her hands in mine. She lifted her eyes to mine.

"Sorry." She breathed.

I shook my head. "It's okay Bells... "

She shivered again and I wrapped my arms around her as I pressed her to me.

"Better?" I asked.

"Yeah... " She replied.

I closed my eyes, My thoughts full of what shouldn't be there. I felt her wrap her arms around my neck . I wanted to tighten my arms around her, but thought better of it as the unwanted images of her bruises came back to me. I reluctantly pulled back a bit.

"We should get going... don't want you to get too cold, honey." I told her.

"... Okay..." She replied as we walked out of the water. Bella looking beat. I reached down and handed her, her jacket. She quickly zipped it up.

"I'll be right back." I said, slipping behind the trees and phasing. I came back out and lowered myself down so she could climb on.

I ran fast with her through the dense forest. Her hands firmly in my fur as we came back out to Sam's back yard a few short minutes later. She climbed off and kissed my nose before I took cover and phased back, slipping on my shorts and joining her again.

We walked out to the fire together. Charlie and Billy still there talking and laughing. They spotted us and hollared over.

"Hey Bella how was the swim?" Charlie asked.

"Just swell dad thanks." She laughed back at him.

Bella sat down in one of the camping chairs next to Charlie. She looked exhausted. I saw her yawn and her eyes grow heavy as I knelt in front of her.

"Need anything? I'm gonna go borrow a shirt from Sam, considering mine is now trashed." I chuckled.

"No I'm okay. Thank you. Hurry back. " She replied sleepily.

I ran into Sam's house and asked him if I could borrow a T-shirt. He nodded and went to get one as Emily offered me a grin.

"So... Bella seems to be having a good time tonight?" She asked.

"Yea, she does. It's been nice to see her smile and laugh lately. Thanks for throwing this Em." I told her.

"Well you're welcome but I don't think Bella's laughing and smiling simply because we threw this."

I nodded and knew where she was headed with this conversation.

"Em..." I sighed. She poured herself a cup of coffee and looked over to me.

"You'd have to be blind not to see it Jake. Somethings changed ... I can see it in her. There's something more growing between you two." She said, sipping her coffee.

I thought back to our kiss this morning and grew quite.

"Jake?" Emily said to me, getting my attention by touching my arm. "Has... has something happened ... already?" She asked, a small smile spreading across her face.

I sighed. "No Em... it's not... like that..." I explained to her. "She's... nowhere near ready for anything..."

Emily heard the tone in my voice and the smile soon slipped away from her mouth.

"I know she's been through a lot Jake but she seems better when she's with you. It might take some time, but I think this is all gonna work out in the end. Who knows hun... maybe you'll get the girl you've loved since your were just a boy. Maybe your love story is just beginning." She said, patting my arm and heading back out to the party with a tray of drinks in her hand.

I glanced down at the floor, her words resinating with me. I longed for that to be true but knew better than to hope.

Sam returned with a White T- Shirt for me. He tossed it to me and I caught it, thanking him. I pulled it on and walked back out with him.

"Em's right you know Jake." He said.

"I know." I replied, seeing Bella now asleep in the camping chair next to Charlie.

I stared at her beautiful face lit up by the fire's glow. How she could sleep with all the conversation and commotion going on around her was beyond me, but she seemed pretty content. I saw Seth'e gaze wander over to her. The familiar dreaded feeling crept over me as Sam sighed and scratched his head.

"I can only hope it's a crush." I told him.

"Me too, Jacob... Me too." He replied.

Charlie spotted us talking and soon joined us. "Nice bonfire Sam." He said shaking his hand.

"Yea, I gotta say it turned out pretty well." He admitted.

"Jake uh... you got a minute?" Charlie asked.

I nodded as Sam dismissed himself to go sit with Emily to give Charlie and I a minute.

We walked out to his cruiser in the driveway. Charlie seemed nervous, or uncomfortable even, turning his keys in his hands over and over as he leaned againt his cruiser.

"Jake I wanted to speak with you about Bella." He said, his face turning down for a moment. I tucked my hands in my pockets and waited for him to continue.

"You know what she's been through lately... probably better than anyone. She doesn't really tell me much of anything and that's okay. As long as she's alright and happy that's all that matters to me. She seemed so fragile when she came home at first. I was scared to death that she would go back and be a shell of herself like she was when he left her in the woods." Charlie stopped, a bitterness to his tone at the memory. "Anyway... Look Jake... I know her marrying Edward couldn't have been easy for you. I know what you feel for her... how important she is to you. Truth be told... I always held out some hope that she would change her mind and choose you. There was just always something about Edward that didn't set will with me... I don't know... call it the overprotective father side of me I guess... or call it something else, but I had a feeling about him from the minute I met him. " He said, glancing up and strring at me. "But you're good for her Jake. She lights up when your around. She's... happy..." He said, strain in his voice and for the first time since my mom died, I saw tears form in Charlie's eyes. It was no secret that he wasn't one to show very much emotion, but when it came to those he loved and cared for... especially Bella... he would.

I cleared my throat and nodded to him in acknowledgment.

"With that being said Jake..." Charlie said, standing up straight now. "I owe you son... for taking care of Bella when Edward didn't... for back then and even now. I've watched you grow up and you've turned out to be a good man Jacob. Your mama... She would have been proud." He said sincerely, patting my shoulder, his eyes on mine with a seriousness in them.

"Thanks Charlie." I replied. A lump in my throat growing at the mention of mom.

He got in his cruiser and rolled down the window. "Take care of my baby, Jake. I'll call and check in with her sometime tomorrow." He said, putting the car in gear.

"Always." I said, meeting his stare.

He gave me a solid nod and waved as he left. I watched him go and stared at the tree's swaying in the wind. His last words staying with me.

I wanted nothing more than to take care of her, whether she would ever let me, well that was a whole other story.

I turned and walked back out the the fire. A few people still remained. Sue, and Leah, along with Seth and the pack all gathered around.

Bella was still fast asleep in the chair as my father, Sam, and Emily were talking about new pack patrol scheduling and a few of the Elders remained, listening intently to what Sam said.

I saw Sam wrap his arms around Emily's waist and kiss her cheek as he went on talking. I ganced over to Bella, seeing her angelic face as she slept peacefully, feeling a sense of longing.

Sue came over to me, handing me a soda with a smile. " You know Jake... Don't underestimate the power of love. It changes people... what's meant to be will always find a way..." She said.

I sighed and looked over to her. Seeing that she truly believed this.

"I can only hope." I replied, opening my drink and taking a sip before my eyes fell back on Bella. Sue followed my stare.

"Leah didn't tell me anything about what happened but there's been rumors of it... Councel has there suspicions. They know the evil ways of the cold ones. It's no secret." Sue said, a graveness to her tone as she looked to Bella. Her words brought the unwanted images of Bella's Bruises back to my mind.

"Yea." I said, my voice barely audible. Sue looked to me and I met her gaze now. I didn't have to say it, she already knew that there suspicions were dead on.

Sue shook her head, tears welling up in her eyes now.

"Oh... oh dear..." She whispered, turning her attention back to Bella. I looked down to the ground and felt the familiar searing heat start at my spine. I recoiled it, and reigned it in.

"If anyone can heal her Jake... it's you... It's you..." She said softly. "You have the biggest heart I know and whether she knows it or not... it all belongs to her. It's easy to see." She said, patting my arm. I couldn't reply, I just looked at Sue. Taken back at how well she read me right now. I guess It really shouldn't have suprised me. I had grown up around her and she was such a big part of our lives. Like a second mother to me.

"Thanks." I mouthed to her. She nodded and gave me a small hug as she said her good bye's to everyone, rounding up Seth and Leah and heading for home.

"We'll see you all soon." She said and waved. Seth didn't look in my direction as Leah said goodbye to me. So I initiated a goodbye instead. I sure as hell didn't want there to be a wedge between us. He was important to me and with Harry gone, I felt a bit of an obligation to watch over him, despite the possible current circumstances.

"See ya Seth." I said. He turned and gave me half attempt at a smile, though I could see it was forced and not his normal smile he usually wore.

"Ya we'll see ya Jake." He replied.

My father wheeled up to me, waving to them as well. We watched them go before he spoke.

"She looks exhausted." He said, gesturing to Bella.

"Yea... She is..." I replied.

"Well I got an invite to play some poker with Sam and a few of the elders, So why don't you take her back home and I'll have Sam here give me a ride when were done. It might be late son... Go on ahead. " He said with a nod.

"You sure?" I asked... "It's late..." I said, hesitating a bit.

He shook his head. "I'm positive. I'll be fine son."

"Alright... If you're sure." I replied, touching his shoulder.

He wheeled over and addressed Sam with this who then shot me a look and a thumbs up. I nodded and saw dad wave me on as I scooped Bella up in my arms. She nestled into me, placing her hand on my chest and her face close to my neck. I saw my dad smile at me, as I turned and carried her to the truck, placing her gently in the front seat. She curled up against it and stayed asleep as I jumped in the other side. I moved her over to me, and wrapped an arm around her before leaving.

The ride home was quick and eerily silent. I listened to the sound of her heart as I drove. What Sue had said weighing heavily on my mind - If anyone can heal her it's you Jake -

I pulled into my driveway and cut the engine, listening now to the crickets, as I got out and took Bella back in my arms, walking through the front door with her cradled to me. I shut the door with my foot and went to lay her on the couch. I felt her resist letting me go.

Her arms wrapped around my neck. I stopped and hoisted her back up in my arms as she mumbled... "Jacob... My Jacob..." In her sleep.

The words hitting my heart like they always did. I thought of how many times I'd let this girl go and how much I never wanted to again.

I walked her to my room and laid her slowly down on the bed. This time, she didn't resist. She laid there peacefully as I kissed her forehead and moved a lock of hair out of her face. Marvelling at her beauty.

I knew she was asleep and couldn't help the words that coming falling from my lips to her as I looked at her, memories of us from the past rushing back to me now.

"Let me fix you, Bells..." I breathed to her, unable to take my eyes off her face. I said it more like a silent prayer, a plea from my heart to hers. For this was what my heart desired the most.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight Saga Series. They are the sole property of Stephanie Meyers.

**CHAPTER 7**

JACOB'S POV ( Continued )...

I watched her sleep for a while. Pacing in my room. My mind too damn busy to even think about sleeping.

I stopped in my tracks across the room when I heard Bella's heart begin to race again, as I inwardly cringed, silently dreading what I knew would soon follow. I crossed the room and laid on the bed with her, slowly wrapping my arms around her and moving her back into me.

I placed my chin on her shoulder, pressing my cheek lightly to hers and listened as her heart was still racing, her breathing becoming ragged. I could only hope she would know that I was right here with her. Even in her sleep. I tightened my arms around her, carefully, as I thought of how bruised she was. Just the thought sent the all too familiar rush of heat now flowing through my spine again, waiting and listening, as her heart began to slow, returning to a normal rhythm now. Her breathing doing the same. After a few minutes, she relaxed in my arms, all tension leaving her body. I felt relief to know that she wasn't being haunted, at least not right now. I remained there with her and closed my eyes, slowly drifting off to sleep.

I awoke only a few short hours later to the sound of Sam dropping off my father. I listened closely to be sure he got in the house okay, soon hearing him shut his bedroom door. I closed my eyes and tightened my arms around Bella, noticing she felt warm to me, As much as I loved to hold her, I didn't want her too warm, either.

I glanced at my watch, seeing it light up with the time, it was nearly two in the morning. I moved back away from her, slowly pulling my arm out from under her. I went to get up and heard her as she stirred.

"Jake?" She breathed. Turning over to face me. I stopped and touched her cheek.

"Yea?" I replied...

"Where are you going?" She asked, sleep heavy in her tone. Her eyes slowly opening and staring up at me.

"You felt warm. I don't want to make you uncomfortable, honey."

"I'm fine... I like your warmth.. " She replied, closing her eyes again.

I laid back down, crossing my arms behind my head, and pressing my side slightly up against her. She moved closer and rested her head on my chest, drifting back off to sleep in seconds. I stayed awake, listening to the sounds of the night outside my window, as the hours passed.

Before I knew it, daybreak was upon us. My small room now emanated with sunlight, as I began to run my fingers through her beautiful hair, feeling the long silky strands slip through them. The sunlight hitting her face, bringing out her beauty that much more. My mind began to wander, thoughts of what it would feel like to wake up with her in my arms every morning, hold her all night like this, weighed heavily on my mind.

Bella stirred and rubbed her eyes as she lifted her head.

"Did you get any sleep?" She asked, guilt in her tone.

"Yea... I'm fine." I replied, still running my fingers through her hair. She half smiled.

"You would say that anyway... Even if you didn't..." She said, sighing and laying her head back on my chest.

"Are you calling me a liar, Bells?" I asked in a teasing tone to her.

"No," She yawned... "I just know you."

I sure as hell couldn't argue with that. So I shut my mouth, as I heard Billy restling around in the kitchen, knowing that he was already up and around, despite his early morning arrival at home.

"Hey Jake..." Bella said, sitting up and glancing down at me.

"What?" I replied.

"It's... okay that I'm here right? I mean..." She started, as I sat up, taking her hands in my own.

"Yes... It's more than okay that you're here." I replied, stopping her from going any further with the thought. She was always so generous that sometimes, she forgot to take care of herself, or let someone else take care of her.

I sighed and looked in her eyes, seeing her blush again. I was powerless to stop the smile that lit up my face in response to it.

"I had a good time last night. I mean... for the first time since..." She paused, looking at me. I nodded to her, knowing what she meant.

"I'm glad Bells. Everyone loved you ya' know. Emily has grown attached to you." I said, releasing her hands and standing up to get clean clothes from my dresser to shower.

"I love her. She's great."

I grabbed clean boxers, some jeans and a navy blue t-shirt from my drawer before turning back around to see Bella staring at the crescent shaped scar on her inner wrist. She traced it with her fingertips. Her eyes locked on it.

I set my clothes on the edge of the bed and crouched down in front of her, placing my hand over the scar as her eyes moved quickly to mine. I searched them with my own and read so much regret in one look. I glanced down to the scar. Feeling how it was cool to the touch compared to the rest of her arm, caressing my thumb over it and glancing back up to Bells.

"You're still you." I whispered to her. She nodded slowly and kept her eyes on mine.

"For now..." She breathed in fear to me.

Her answer causing my heart to ache. She saw my face and sighed heavily.

"My time is... limited... The Volturi... they'll come for me you know... They will... The Cullen's promised to change me..."

I felt the heat roll from my spine through my body, as I closed my eyes briefly before fixing them on her scar again. Loathing that monster with new hate now as Bella continued.

"Thing is... I don't want it anymore... I don't want to be one of them... I want the things that I was so willing to give up before." She said to me. Something in her voice causing me to lift my head, and meet her gaze. "And now that I want them... I can't have them..." She finished. Her eyes never leaving mine. There was sincerity in her tone and it hit home for me.

I stood up and pulled her up with me.

"You can have that Bells."

She shook her head. "They won't let me..." She said, sadness heavy in her voice.

"They'll never give up... never stop. Eventually they'll turn me into one of them... I'll be forever frozen in time... Never moving... never changing. Before... with Edward... I selfishly chose to end my own human life, but now... I want it back." She sighed, tears forming in her eyes. "You know what they say... Always want what you can't have... right?"

I took her face in my hands, cradling it. My eyes locked on hers.

"Bella... I won't let that happen to you." I vowed to her. "Not ever..."

"I know..." She whispered. "That's what scares me most."

I knew what she meant and she was right. I would give my life for her in an instant, without thinking twice about it. They would have to kill me first and I would fight until I couldn't anymore.

She hugged me, wrapping her arms around my neck, pressing herself to me.

"I love you Jacob." She said, before pulling back and kissing me on the cheek.

"I love you too, Bells."

She took a deep breath, and tried to fake a smile, before we headed out to greet dad, who was at the table with the paper and coffee in hand, as per usual. Bella smiled at him, sitting down next to him at the table.

"Good morning Bella."

I chuckled to myself, pouring her and I some coffee. I couldn't help but notice how Bella being here, also made my dad seem so much happier than normal. She was just good for everyone she was around. It was the affect she had on people.

I handed Bella her coffee. "Three cream, four sugar... right?" I asked, with a knowing smile.

"You remembered..." She said, running her hand through her hair, as I nodded and sat down across from her.

My dad chuckled. "You know Bella dear... I got to say... I was telling Jake how having you here has been so nice..."

Bella blushed and thanked him again for allowing her to stay.

"No need to girl. I meant what I said. You're family. Our home is always your Home, Bella... Always." Dad stated genuinely to her.

I saw Bella glance over to me. Our eyes fixed on each others, as dad went back to reading the paper.

I had never wanted anything more than a future with her. It was a dream my very soul cried out for, yet feared would never come true.

"I'm gonna grab a shower." I stated, getting up from the table, and hurrying to get ready for the day, so Bella could have the bathroom

As I came out, I heard my dad and Bella laughing and sharing memories... I leaned up against the bathroom door and listened.

"You used to chase him up and down the beach from sun up to sun down girl." Billy said to her, Bella laughing in response.

"I know... even then I couldn't leave him alone. What can I say?" She replied. "...He's..." She paused...

My dad chuckled. "I know..,"

There was a long silence...

"I don't understand Billy." She said ..."I've made a million mistakes and yet he is still so good to me. I don't deserve him. I really don't." Bella trailed off.

"Bella... My boy loves like his mother used to... When he loves ... it's real and true. Sarah used to love me like that. Saw me through some of my worst times. When I didn't even deserve her... she loved me anyway. He is her son... through and through." He finished, hearing his voice crack a bit on the last word.

"I never meant to..." Bells began.

"I know dear... I know." Billy replied to her.

I cleared my throat and walked into the kitchen, acting like I hadn't heard. It was there moment and I wouldn't intrude. Bella suddenly got up from the table, and hugged me. I wasn't expecting it. It caught me off guard, as I wrapped my arms around her in response.

"You okay?" I asked her in a whisper.

She nodded, looking me in the eyes. "Yea..."

"Need anything?" I asked ,as she pulled slowly away.

"No... can I just take a shower? I may need to run home and get some clean clothes?" She asked.

"Sure thing. We'll go when you're ready?"

"...Okay..." She replied, heading for the shower.

I caught my dad looking over the top of his paper at me. A mischievous glint in his eyes, I knew all too well what he was thinking without him needing to say it.

"What's your plans today?" I asked him, leaning against the counter with my arms crossed over my chest.

"Oh... I think I'll stay here and get some rest. Had a hell of a time last night, but it's taking a toll on me this morning. Really stiff." He replied.

"Need me to do anything for you before we head to Charlie's?"

"No... I should be okay till tonight, son. I'll call you if that changes."

My father was stubborn when he wanted to be. He never liked to be a burden to anyone, including me. So I usually had to pry it out of him if he did need something.

He wheeled himself into the living room and turned on the sports channel. I watched it with him, sitting on the couch and waiting for Bella.

She soon came out, hair dried and looking well... gorgeous was an understatement. She had no makeup on. She didn't need it, and when she wore it, it usually wasn't very much anyway. I loved her just the way she was, wouldn't change a damn thing. She smiled and grabbed her jacket, quickly zipping it up.

"I'm ready if you are." She said.

We said good bye to dad, seeing him wave to us, as we shut the front door.

We were about ten minutes into the drive to Charlie's when Bella reached for my hand, taking it in her own.

"You sure you're okay?" I asked her, worry in my tone. Her deep brown eyes looking down at our hands together, slowly nodding. I knew better and lightly squeezed her hand in mine.

"Bells... Hey... honey talk to me..." I asked her softly, as we hit the highway to Charlie's.

She tore her eyes away from our hands and glanced over to me. There was a look on her face that I had never seen before. One I could not place. She remained silent for a few more minutes, making my worry grow, as we entered into forks. I caressed her hand with my thumb, unsure of what was going through her mind, as we pulled into her driveway.

"I made the wrong choice." She whispered, as I shut off the car, pulling the keys from the ignition. The sound of unshed tears heavy in her voice.

I looked over at her in disbelief, seeing her eyes were looking back at our hands again, as she slowly lifted her head, locking eyes with me, tears now falling.

"I should have listened to what my heart was telling me ... Not just done what I thought was the right thing to do... I made the wrong choice." She whispered, saying the last few words slowly and with real conviction.

I stared long and hard at her, unable to think, or speak.

How many times had I longed to hear her say this? How badly did I ache for her to change her mind, and be with me instead of him? It felt surreal now. Almost like a dream and not reality.

She remained silent, her hand still in mine, as I tried like hell to process what she had just said. While I was over joyed at it, I was also equally aware of all she had just endured. I'd be foolish not to see this for what it could be... a rebound.

I sighed and glanced out the window, not able to hide the doubt on my face.

She took her hand from mine and placed it in her lap, as I turned my head, glancing over to her. Still not finding the right words when I needed them most. I saw her bite her bottom lip, nervously glancing over at me.

"I know what you're thinking..." She said softly.

I tried to say something... anything... Damn it.

She looked in my eyes and nodded, affirming her own drawn conclusion to herself in a way.

"It's not like that." She said timidly, as she opened the door and got out, now leaning up against my car.

I quickly got out with her, walking over to her side, unable to take my eyes off her. It's not everyday that your biggest wish comes true, nor is it everyday that it comes with a shit load of doubt and uncertainty. She pushed off my car, refusing to look at me, as the silence grew louder and louder between us.

"I'm gonna go get some clothes. I think I might stay here a while today. We can meet back here tonight... for dinner?" She asked, her eyes on the ground.

It screamed rejection to me, and I hated to ever make her feel that way. But I felt stuck on how to process this, or worse, daring to believe her. To believe that what she said came only from her heart and not out of guilt or just loneliness.

No one had to tell me that Bells felt something for me, or that she loved me. I knew that in my heart already, but she herself had told me that it wasn't enough last Spring after the Newborn battle. She chose him, married him. Is still married to him for shits sake.

Why is it now enough and could I overlook it? Choose to take whatever she gave me, because the truth was, I loved her that much?

I knew deep down that I would take whatever she offered. Even if it made weak. Even if It would shatter me to pieces in the end. When It came to Bella... reason went out the fucking window for me. Common sense made no damn sense.

I stared at her still, finally speaking for the first time since she had told me. "Yea..." I replied, clearing my throat. "I'll be back... later then..."

"Bye Jake." She said with a small nod, walking into the house and closing the front door firmly behind her.

I watched her intently, as she went, staring at the now closed door, debating on running up over the steps, taking her in my arms and kissing her.

I shook my head, cursing under my breath, as I got back in my car and headed to Sam's. I needed to talk to someone with reason.

I got there a few minutes later and saw Emily sitting on the front porch, book and coffee in hand. She smiled warmly at me as I approached.

"Well hello Jake. What brings you here." She asked, glancing around me to see if Bella was with me. I watched her smile fade a bit when she noticed that I was alone now.

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, plopping down on the bench beside her.

"You sound like you have the weight of the world on your broad shoulders." She commented, glancing over to me, and setting her book in her lap.

I shook my head, not really knowing where to start. Emily saw the hesitation.

"Sam is off with Jared and Paul for patrol. He won't be back till this evening when you take over with Leah, Seth, and Quil. So what's on your mind?" She asked, genuine concern in her voice. Emily was so easy to talk to. So it came easy to open up to her.

"I just dropped Bella off at home... at her home..." I started. Emily nodded, a grave look on her face when her eyes met mine.

"Why? I thought... She was still staying with you this week?" She asked.

I nodded. "Yea... well she is... at least I think she still is... I hope she still is." I replied.

"What happened Jake?" Emily asked.

"She... She told me..." I paused, still having a hard time believing that the words had ever left her beautiful mouth to begin with... "She told me that she made the wrong choice." I finally finished, staring out ahead at the dense forest.

Emily's mouth fell open and soon turned into a wide smile at me as I glanced over her way. "She ... she told you that? Just now?" She asked, eagerly. The happiness clear in her voice.

"Yea." I nodded, my heart warming at just the memory of her saying it. "When I dropped her off..."

"Well Jake that's ... wonderful!" She said, a hint of laughter on her lips, though it soon faded when my eyes met hers. "Oh..." She whispered, gingerly setting her book and coffee on the porch beside her and leaning forward.

"You think this is a rebound don't you?" She asked, reading the look of doubt on my face, and getting straight to the point.

I nodded silently as Emily sighed deeply.

"Well Jake, for what it's worth... I don't think that. As a matter of fact... I don't think she should have ever married Edward to begin with, not just for the obvious reasons. But more so because her heart was with you, whether she see's that now or not... I believe it to be true."

"I can't go through that Emily... Not again..." I said softly to her. Emily took my hand in hers.

"Jake ... we were all here when she chose him over you. We all know what that did to you, so no one here will ever blame you for choosing to be careful with your heart this time. The heart is a fragile thing... break it too badly, and it may never recover..." She said.

"I know." I replied in a low tone.

"However..." She began again..."There's always been something there with you two. It's beyond evident. You can feel it in the air around you when the two of you are in the same room... So she made a mistake... A big one... The important thing is ... she see's that now Jacob."

I looked over to Emily, seeing that she really believed this.

"But she married him Emily." I said, an edge to my tone as I got to my feet, now pacing in front of her. "She chose him... not me. And certainly not for my lack of trying. You know the story. You know what happened on that mountain when I heard her saying she was going to marry that leech. I poured everything I could into her... into us... into what I believed we could have... what we should of had." I stopped, reliving the moment when she told me she loved me in my room, but that it wasn't enough. The memory sliced me open still. I shook my head and sighed.

"She chose." I whispered, turning back to face Emily, as she stood up with me.

"You're right Jake. She did choose and she chose wrong. She made a hasty and rash decision to marry him. She was nowhere near ready, and nowhere near sure enough of her love for him, or what price she would have to pay for it. She rushed into it Jacob. You yourself expressed that fear before she even married him. You knew... You knew she was rushing into it. I think she chose to get married to him, and accept his proposal, because she was scared Jake."

"Of what?" I asked sharply, my eyes intensely set on hers.

"Of what you two have. Of what you make her feel. I think she was so wrapped up... and dazzled by Edwards spell, that she hung onto him like a drug. Scared to be without him... But then you happened. You gave her real love. Not the kind of love that tricks you into it. You know the legends, and you know that they are true. They hypnotize you over time, make you love them. I am not saying that the Cullen's are all bad, Jake. They helped us with the Newborns, helped Sam... and Carlisle saved you, when you pushed Leah out of the way from being crushed that day in the clearing. So for that... Even though Leah hates me... I am forever grateful that you two were spared then, but ask me if I think that what she shared with Edward Cullen was real, or if it holds a candle to what you have with her, and the answer will be no." She said to me.

I looked at her, listening intently to all she had just said. She continued:

"Maybe Edward did love her in his own twisted way, but he broke her Jacob. He broke her spirit... twice... When you truly love someone, no matter in what form, hurting them, even if it is what Edward thought was best for her back then, is not even an option and this time... " Emily paused, looking down to the porch... "There is no excuse for it. He took something from her ... her innocence... her trust... He broke her again. I don't care what his reasoning is... He took her to that Island, knowing what could happen and it did." She sighed, glancing back up at me now before speaking again.

"When Sam lost his temper that day so long ago now... He hated himself so much, that it nearly ruined him. He, to this day, cannot forgive himself. I have forgiven him because I knew how much he loved me, and I knew that if he could have stopped himself, he would have. That's love Jake. When Edward took her there... he knew the risk... you don't take a risk like that with someone you truly love. I know you Jacob. Sam loves you like a Brother. You're all family here to us. I know, without a doubt, that you would never hurt her like that, because the love you have for her is real. It defies the odds and challenges you both. I've seen you without her... It's heart breaking. You seem so empty, like you're missing half of yourself. So... yea... be careful with your heart, but don't shut her out. Don't guard yourself so much so, that you lose out on your real chance at happiness with her... and I'll tell you something else... you say you're worried this may be a rebound right? That she still chose him, and that maybe if he hadn't of done what he did, she would still be with him?" She asked

I simply nodded to her in reply because it was all I could manage right now.

"I believe, whole heartedly, that Bella would have stayed with him for a while. Who knows how long, maybe even decades, but she would have been empty down the road. She would have come back for you... even when it was too late, and he'd changed her into your enemy already. You would have been forbidden to love her, Jake. Your natural instinct would be to destroy her."

I shuddered at the thought and shook my head, swallowing hard as the images played out before me of me running into a red eyed, stone cold Bella in the woods ... fighting with her to the death.

I closed my eyes because I knew how that would end. I would let her kill me. There would be nothing left for me to escape that kind of personal hell. I would surrender to her. I would never be able to hurt her, no matter what form she was in, and no matter what my natural instinct was. It wouldn't make a damn bit of difference.

Emily touched my hand again. "You'd fight for her anyway... wouldn't you? You'd go against what was born within you... for her...?" She asked me. I didn't have to answer her. My eyes met hers and she already knew the answer. "That's love Jake... Real love." She finished, taking her hand from mine with half a smile.

Everything she said was dead on. It all made perfect sense, and to hear someone I respected as much as Emily say it, shed new light on the situation for me.

"Thanks Emily." I said, giving her a huge hug. I genuinely appreciated her heart felt advice.

"You're welcome. I really want you to be happy, Jake. You deserve that more than anyone I know. She is what makes you happy. She's your meant to be." Emily said, with a smile as I released her.

"I owe you for this." I told her, running off the porch and going back to my car.

"Yeah, Yeah." She teased, waving as I left.

I waved back and took off for Forks, breaking the speed limit the entire drive back to Bells. I could only hope that it would be Charlie who would pull me over if I got caught. As it turned out... I didn't.

I was about two miles from her house when the strong, sickeningly sweet auroma hit me hard in the , causing me to slam on the brakes, and glance around. I knew that smell. Fuck...

I then hit the gas and soon pulled into Bella's to see Jared, Paul and Sam all in wolf form in Bella's back yard. I jumped out of the car and ran toward them. Vicious snarls echoing from them around the tree's, as I reached them, my tremors beginning to roll off me when my eyes landed on Edward. He was crouched in a defensive position at the border of the forest in her back yard. My eyes immediately darted to Sam. He knew what I wanted to know. Where was Bella? He snapped his teeth toward Edward in warning before nodding toward the house.

I knew they were more than capable of handling him without me. I ran over the steps, and in through the front door. I stopped when I reached the kitchen and listened closely to her erratic heartbeat coming from upstairs. I went to her, taking the stairs two at a time, as I reached her bedroom door and saw her sitting on the edge of her bed, head in her hands.

Her head snapped up when she heard me come in. I took her hands in mine, pulling her to her feet, and pressing her to me, as I wrapped my arms protectively around her, hearing the snarls grow louder from outside.

"You can't keep me from her." I heard Edward hiss menacingly.

Bella's shaking grew uncontrollable at his words. I scooped her up in my arms, bridal style, carrying her down the stairs quickly, and out the front door, as she wrapped her arms around my neck, burying her face there. Her fear of him hitting me like a freight train,as we came out of the house. She was terrified.

I locked eyes with Sam, and he huffed in acknowledgment to me, backing up and placing a barrier between us and Edward. Paul was irate. He snapped at Edward, baring his teeth, vicious growls pouring from him. He didn't take his eyes from Edward as we exited the house.

I saw Edwards eyes flash to me with Bella in my arms. His gaze deadly and fixed.

"So much for your fucking word Leech." I thought to him, knowing damn well he would invade my mind like he always did. I went to open the car door, and stopped instantly when I heard Sam roar, as Edward darted over toward us.

Sam grew visibly in stature, raw anger seething from him. Paul and Jared ran after him, now placing themselves in front of us and directly behind Sam on his flanks.

Bella clung to me desperately, as he approached. I tightened my grip on her, feeling my inner wolf claw at me from the inside out with him this close to her. My instinct was to protect her... always. I had to focus like hell to control the tremors that now threatened to take me over.

Edward glared at Sam. "I am not breaking the treaty... you cannot keep me from her. It is not in your control Sam! It violates no law!" He raged on, his eyes now focusing on Bella. His black eyes seemingly locked there.

I couldn't help the tremors that began to shake me, as heat, thick and raging, worked it's way up from the base of my spine, and weaved itself out through me.

I took a deep breath and glared back at him, trying to keep the wolf at bay. My tremors slowing, as I heard Bella, bringing my focus back to her. She still shook like a leaf. Her heart hammering within her chest.

"Jake..." She breathed, her voice laced with immense fear.

Edward took two steps toward, us and I instinctively took a step back.

"Don't." I seethed to him through gritted teeth. His black eyes flashed to mine.

"She is not yours." He hissed, drawing closer to me now.

The heat that now rolled through me was almost all consuming. Bella's breathing was coming out in gasps, as he moved closer to us. I was raging inside.

Sam was beyond pissed as he took his stance protectively in front of us. His paws firmly planted. I backed up with Bella, feeling the car now behind me.

"She is still my wife!" Edward hissed, placing himself inches from Sam and myself.

Paul was wild. His teeth still bared, ears laid fully back, swiping his paws on the ground beneath him. Bella gasped and clung to me, as I felt my anger for Edward nearly swallow me fucking whole.

Sam pushed his head into Edwards chest, backing him up. A death glare of warning on his face.

Paul and Jared remained on his flanks and ready to attack, as Bella began sobbing in my arms. Her face still nestled into my neck. I hoisted her up, getting a better grip on her.

"I have you." I breathed to her.

Edward moved back, his eyes growing haunted again at the sound of her crying. I locked eyes with him, opening up my mind fully, and allowing him to see the pain he'd caused. Reminding him again of what he'd done to her.

The vision of me seeing her in the bathroom, eyes fixed on the mirror, his handprint bruises on her beautiful skin, seemed to make him see reason. At least for now. He glared and hissed at me once more before turning and darting off into the woods.

Sam instantly relaxed and Paul snapped his teeth in the direction he had run off to. Jared still stood guard, glancing off toward the forest, as Sam nodded to me, his eyes falling to Bella. I nodded in reply, as they retreated into the woods again.

Bella slowly glanced up at me. Eyes red rimmed and terrified as they met mine. "Thank you." She whispered in a shaky tone, as I placed her back on her feet.

"You know I'll keep you safe, right?" I asked, touching her cheek.

"I know..." She replied to me, as I took her shaking hand in mine, lacing our fingers together. I opened the car door for her and she quickly got in, my eyes still darting to the trees, not trusting Edward for a minute.

"My clothes are still upstairs..." She said softly, glancing toward the house.

"I'll go get them." I told her.

I ran in and retrieved her black bag by her bedroom door. I was quick to return and drove us back to my house.

Bella didn't speak one word on the drive. Although her silence spoke volumes to me. My mind was full of what Emily had said from before, as I pulled in the driveway and shut off the engine. I lifted her hand in mine and kissed it. Bella turned her head to me, meeting my stare, as I said the one thing that came to my mind. The one thing I needed her to hear.

"I love you, Bells."

"I love you, too Jake." She replied. Her lips revealing a half smile. I returned it before getting out to open the door for her.

We walked in the house together to find Sue and my dad talking about the council. Both having a cup of coffee in hand. Sue saw Bella's face and rushed to her immediately. Her red eyes giving away her tears.

"Oh dear... are you okay?" She asked her, giving her a hug. I felt Bella's hand tighten in mine, as she hugged Sue. My father looked to me, and I just nodded. I didn't need to say a damn word. He already knew. I saw the anger ripple across his face, as he put two and two together. It was not often that I saw this kind of angry expression on my fathers face.

Sue released Bella and she drew close into my side.

"Thanks Sue." She replied to her.

Sue simply smiled in understanding to her and sat back down with my father.

"Sure you're okay hun?" My dad asked her. His tone filled with concern for her.

Bella nodded, slowly glancing up to me. "Yea... I will be." She said, her eyes meeting mine.

I felt my heart warm. Yea... she would be, if I had anything to do with it.

Bella listened as dad told her what he and Sue had been discussing, filling in her curiosity and mine as well. He explained that they were concerned about how young Colin and Brady were when they phased, and how the council hoped it wouldn't get worse as time went on. Bella nodded in understanding as did I.

Hell... if it did get worse, we would soon have ten year olds phasing in. I shook my head at the mere thought. No one wanted that. I squeezed Bella's hand in mine, motioning toward my room. We walked in and I set her bag down by the door for her.

"Thanks," She said, sitting down on my bed, as I opened my dresser drawer and took out my clothes, rearranging it so she had her own drawer here.

I saw the smile on her face when I turned around, as she took note of what I was doing. I handed her the bag she had packed, a smile of my own on for her now.

"Here ... now you have a little space of your own in here." I said.

She took the bag from me, glancing at the open drawer. She swiftly got to her feet and unpacked her bag, as I sat down on the edge of my bed, watching her place her things in my drawer. The smile on my face feeling permanent. I couldn't help it. Bella slowly turned, closing the drawer. Her eyes met mine as she walked over to me, the smile on her face matching my own.

"You sure that's okay?" She asked, touching my hair. I chuckled.

"Hey it's not much... but what I have is yours." I offered.

She had no idea how much I meant that. I would give her everything... anything. She leaned in, kissing me on the cheek and thanking me. A blush of beautiful color on her face, as I placed my hand under her chin, lifting her head, her eyes settling on mine.

I thought back to Emily's words, knowing how right she was and leaned in, lingering there a moment, my eyes falling to her lips. How can you deny your heart what it is screaming for? Maybe some could... I just simply wasn't one of them.

I brought my lips slowly to hers, keeping my hand under her chin. Her lips effortlessly molding to mine. It was a simple kiss. Showing my love for her.

Bella slowly opened her eyes, as I pulled back, dropping my hand and taking hers securely back in mine. I smiled when I saw the rapid blush form on her cheeks. She nervously tucked her hair behind her ear, glancing down briefly at her hand in mine.

"Are you running for patrol tonight?" She asked.

I nodded. " Yeah... in a few hours..."

I watched the fear ripple across her face, as I squeezed her hand in mine reassuringly. "You know I'll protect you honey." I swore to her.

"Thank you... for coming for me..." She whispered, referencing to earlier. I shook my head.

"I'll always come for you..."

There was a sudden knock at my bedroom door.

"Come in." I said. The door opened and Sam peeked his head in.

"Hey... sorry to interrupt but Jake I need a word with you." He said.

I turned and kissed Bella on the forehead, releasing her hand and going with him. My dad nodded toward my door as we left, letting me know he would look after Bella.

Once outside, Sam motioned for me to follow him to the trees. We walked a good ways out, before he stopped and glanced around, checking to see if we were alone.

"He has no intention of leaving her alone Jacob." Sam said suddenly, eyes black as the night, as they met my own. I felt my anger return with a vengeance at his words.

"What?" I seethed, stepping toward him. "Did he tell you that?" I asked through gritted teeth.

Sam nodded in reply. "We chased him to the border, where he stopped and swore he would be back for her. He's... determined... " Sam said, stopping when he saw my face.

"Determined to what? " I seethed in reply.

Sam shook his head. "He wants her back, Jacob. Says she is his. He's convinced he can reconcile things with her if she will agree to listen."

I turned and looked back toward my house where Bella was. If he thought he could push her into this... he had another fucking think coming. I spun back around.

"She is terrified of him right now. You saw her today. Sam... I don't want to go against an order form you... but I won't let him touch her. I can't stand back and do nothing. So if that's your order to me... I can't follow it."

Sam sighed heavily, balling his hands into fists at his sides..

"I..." He paused, shaking his head again, looking to be at war with himself. "Jacob... As your Alpha... I give you my full permission to do whatever is necessary to protect Bella. You will have our support. He has hurt her enough." He declared, extending his hand to me. I firmly took it in my own and shook it. A solid understanding forming between us before he turned and went back to patrol.

"See ya' in a few hours to relieve us?" He called over his shoulder, retreating further into the woods.

"You bet..." I replied, watching him as he went before turning and walking slowly out of the dense forest.

When I reached the steps I stopped and cursed under my breath. He had some fucking nerve. What right did he have to her after what he'd done? I looked towards the front door, knowing I'd have to talk to Bella about this and dreading it.

I heard the door open and glanced over my shoulder to see Sue there. "Jake... I'm making dinner. Does Bella like alfredo?" She asked.

"I believe so." I replied.

Sue saw the look on my face, and hurriedly shut the door behind her, now joining me on the steps.

"Your meeting didn't go well with Sam did it?" She questioned. I just shook my head.

"What's going on Jake..." She asked.

"Edward." I replied, anger evident in my tone. Sue shook her head in worry. Her eyes looking to the trees.

"He's coming back for her isn't he?" She sighed.

"Yea... Or so he thinks he is..." I spat, balling my hands into fists at my sides.

Sue touched my arm, drawing my attention to her. "Jake... I know you love her... We all do and we'll all work together to protect her."

I thanked her, as we went inside. Sue was beyond generous, she always had been.

Bella was laughing with my dad at the table. The sound like music to my ears. I hated to break more bad news to her. Billy stopped laughing abruptly when he saw my face, and Bella soon stopped as well, following his stare and meeting my eyes from across the room.

I motioned for her to come with me, as she got up from the table, and grabbed her jacket, slipping it on before kissing my dad on the cheek, telling him we would be back. My father had that same angry expression on his face, as his eyes followed us. Sue patted him on the shoulder, trying to reassure him in some way as we left.

Bells took my hand, walking with me out of the house, and to the garage. She looked at me when I stopped and turned to face her. Anxiety clear on her face now, as I leaned against my car and pulled her slowly to me, keeping her hands in mine.

"Jake... what's wrong... are you okay?" She asked with worry, reaching her hand up and touching my cheek. Dread hit me as I stared into her eyes.

"Bells... Sam, Jared, and Paul followed Edward to the Border today after I brought you here." I began, feeling her hands start to shake at the mere mention of his name. I brought them up to my lips and kissed them, trying to give her comfort. I hated being the one to tell her this... to place such fear in her.

"He's... not leaving is he?" Bella said to me in a shaky whisper.

"No..." I replied, watching her closely.

"What... what does he want?"

"To reconcile." I said, trying hard to hide the anger in my tone for her sake alone. The words tasting bitter to me even as they left my mouth.

Her eyes searched mine frantically. "What..." She breathed. Fear strong in her whisper. It radiated off her in waves, and I loathed Edward even more for making her feel that way. I watched her piece things together in her head. "You... can't protect me..." She breathed. The words hit me hard, as I released her hands and cradled her face.

"Of course I can protect you, Bells." I replied to her.

She shook her head in protest, stepping away from me a bit. "No... but... Sam... and the treaty..." She sighed..."No Jake you can't..."

I pushed off my car and went to her, closing the small distance she had placed between us.

"Bells... Sam gave me permission to do whatever is needed in order to keep you safe." I told her, taking her hands back in mine.

She glanced down at our hands together. Growing completely silent for a few seconds, before slowly lifting her head, brown eyes full of unshed tears.

"You'd be putting yourself at risk..." She breathed, her tears now spilling over. I wiped them away for her, placing my hand under her chin.

"I don't care Bells. I want you safe, honey." I replied to her, swallowing hard, forcing myself to ask her the one question I had been avoiding now for days.

"Are you sure this is what you want... Do you want him back?" I asked, feeling my heart rip open slightly at just the thought. Bella stayed silent for a few agonizing moments before lifting her head, her eyes set on mine again.

"No." She stated firmly to me.

I felt the relief run through me at her truth. I had to try and push away the doubt that was there in my head now. She had thought she was done with him before, a small voice reminded me from somewhere in the back of my mind. I sighed and squeezed her hands gently in mine, Bella seeming to sense my doubt.

"Jake, I know we've been here before..." She said quietly to me.

"Yea..." I replied. A strain to my voice from the memory.

"Things are different. I can't even be near him without remembering everything... I see him every time I close my eyes... I can feel him..." She stopped, a shudder coursing through her from the memory... "I don't want that life anymore Jake... I made a mistake... one that I wish more than anything I could take back. I know that it wasn't just his fault, I pushed him..."

I searched her eyes, seeing nothing but the truth in them, as I pulled her to me, wrapping my arms around her.

"You're gonna be okay, Bells... I promise." I said to her.

"You want to know what I'm most afraid of?" She asked, pulling back and meeting my gaze.

"What honey?"

"That I'll lose myself in all this... just like before..." She breathed.

Her words brought back a memory of her and I in her truck after she had learned what I really was. The memory of her promising me that she wouldn't let me lose myself.

"Bells... I won't let that happen... I'll remind you every day how special you are."

I watched her eyes rim with tears at the memory.

"Remember?" I breathed to her, kissing her on the forehead. She nodded and wrapped her arms around my neck.

I held her to me. The love I had for this girl knew no bounds. It could not be confined to limits. I would do anything for her... be anything for her... Put my very life on the line for her.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight Saga Series or any recognizable characters. They are the sole property of Stephanie Meyers.

**CHAPTER 8**

(JACOB'S POV Continued...)

I heard Billy whistle from the house and reluctantly released Bella. Her beautiful brown eyes still searching mine.

"Dinner?" She asked.

"Yea..." I replied, reaching for her hand.

Sue had done a great job on dinner as usual. I was beyond thrilled to see that Bella had eaten most of her plate.

She cleared the table and helped Sue with clean up, as my dad wheeled himself into the living room and waited for Charlie to show up for the Mariners game. I glanced at my watch and dreaded patrol. Leaving Bella right now was the last thing I wanted to do. I was preoccupied with my thoughts when I heard Bella gasp from the kitchen.

"Oh my goodness...Bella!" I heard Sue exclaim, panic evident in her tone

I looked over to see blood run down Bella's hand and arm as she lifted it out of the sink. I quickly went to her, steadying her on her feet as she swayed a bit from dizziness. I knew how she was with blood. I secured an arm around her and looked at her hand. She had a nice deep cut on the inside of her palm that was about two inches long. Blood poured from it as I grabbed a hand towel on the counter behind her and wrapped it around her hand quickly. Bella clutched the counter. Closing her eyes and wincing. I steadied her on her feet again as Sue came running in with gauze in her hands.

"Bella Here." She offered. Billy coming in right behind her.

"Is she okay." He asked nervously.

Sue sighed. "She may need stitches..."

I helped her into the bathroom and set her on the side of the tub.

"Are you okay?" I asked her, seeing her wince again as I removed the towel and wrapped the gauze around her hand.

"I'm sorry... I wasn't paying attention..." She said, looking guilty.

I shook my head in protest. "It's okay Bells." I replied, finishing the gauze.

It had stopped bleeding but did appear to need a few stitches. Bella glanced down at her wrapped hand. A heavy sigh coming from her.

"I need stitches, right?" She asked with dread.

I nodded. "Afraid so, honey."

I got her jacket and helped her to dads truck, driving her to the emergency room.

We sat in the waiting room where there were a few other people waiting as well. Bella reached her good hand down, finding mine and lacing our fingers together, a nervous look on her face.

"Doing okay honey?" I asked.

"Yeah... Sorry I'm such a klutz..."

I leaned in closer to her. "I'm not, sweetheart..."

She looked at me with a puzzled expression. "What...Why?"

I glanced down briefly at her hand in mine before meeting her stare. My eyes fixed on hers.

"Because... it gives me a reason to catch you every time you fall..." I admitted to her.

I watched as a warm blush formed on her cheeks.

"You're just saying that." She said in a whisper, looking down to the floor.

I placed my hand under her chin as her eyes met mine again.

"No... It's true honey."

"Don't you ever get sick of saving me all the time?"

I shook my head and ran my thumb across her chin.

"You're certainly worth saving, sweetheart."

She shook her head with a heavy sigh, as she looked around the waiting room. Her attention now drawn to a father and daughter across from us. His little girl fast asleep in his arms. She couldn't have been more than three years old. Her face angelic as she slept.

Bella kept her eyes on them for a while before she spoke again.

"That's really sweet..." She sighed, gesturing toward them with a nod.

"It is." I replied, as she laid her head on my shoulder while we continued to wait.

"You ever think of having little ones someday, Jake?"

Her question drew my attention back to the father holding his little girl. Seeing the undying love there.

"Of Course..." I replied in a low tone to her.

"You'll be amazing..." She replied, lifting her head.

"What makes you so sure?" I asked. My eyes still set on the father holding his daughter.

"Because I know how remarkable you are." She replied, confidently.

The nurse soon called us in and they quickly stitched her up, only needing three stitches in all. They gave her some pain meds and sent us back on our way. Bella was a real trooper through it all.

We came back home two hours later and saw dad was waiting up for us with a worried Charlie there. He rushed over to her the moment we entered the house.

"Good Land Bella... all from doing the dishes?" He asked, well aware of her lack of grace at times.

She nodded and yawned, leaning into me as I wrapped an arm around her. She was beat. The pain meds they gave her had made her pretty drowsy on the ride home.

Charlie kissed her on the cheek and said goodnight to her as she sat down on the couch with me. I had to hand it to her, she had done damn well at the E.R.

My dad drapped a blanket over her. She took my hand in her good one and laid her head on my shoulder. She was out in minutes.

The game ended at eleven and Charlie said he would call in the morning to check on her. He said goodbye to us and left in his cruiser soon after.

My father fell asleep in his recliner and I slowly got up, laying Bella back down on the couch and tucking her in. I had to meet up with Paul, Seth and Leah for patrol at 12:30 a.m.

I quickly kissed Bella on her forehead before I stripped down to my jeans and slipped out the front door, running full speed into the forest, stripping off my jeans and securing them to my ankle, as I let the heat spread and phased. My thoughts were no longer my own as Sam entered my mind while I ran to meet them.

"Where have you been?" He asked, now invading my thoughts, as they played out openly for him to see. He saw Bella had needed stitches and asked if she was okay.

"She's fine now." I replied.

Seth joined the conversation in our heads as soon as he phased in again and heard Bella had been hurt.

"Is she okay?" He asked, an alarming worry for her in his tone that I hadn't heard before now. I faltered my pace a bit from it and thought back to her now.

"She will be fine." Sam replied to him, feeling my unease at it.

I broke through the clearing and into the lumber yard, stopping in front of Sam and beside Seth. Sam nodding to us both before he addressed us all.

"There was a new trail tonight. A familiar one at that. A cullen... not Edward. It appears that some of his family is now joining him here. Jasper had been lurking around. He has not crossed over into our land but we are being watchful. Paul had an encounter with him earlier today." Sam said, glancing to Paul next to him. "He had told us of his intention... says he is here to retrieve Edward, to make him see reason and return to the Denali's."

Paul huffed and looked to me.

"Bullshit!" He spat, huffing loudly again.

My eyes met Sam's and then darted back to Paul's as he continued a slew of profanity...

"Filthy bloodsucker. He's fucking crazy if he thinks he can just come back here and stir all this shit back up. Fucking leech." He spat.

"He has told us of his intention. We are aware of it." Sam stated to us.

Something in my gut told me that this wasn't as it appeared to be with them. Not at all. It reeked of a set up. Sam read my mind and locked eyes with me.

"Jacob we have no base for this assumption. As I have explained before, we cannot start a war with the Cullens, for obvious reasons you well now know."

I huffed and took a step toward him. "There's more to this shit and you suspect it too, Sam." I stated, Paul huffing in agreement at my side.

"Settle!" Sam ordered, with divine authority ringing in his tone. It washed over me and felt all wrong. The order didn't settle well with me at all. I chose to be respectful and listened as did Paul.

Sam nodded and agreed we would discuss this further in the morning at his place. He left us then, retreating into the thick forest with Paul trailing behind him.

Paul suddenly stopped and glanced back to me.

"I think I'll stay." He said to Sam who stopped and turned to glance back at us now.

Sam huffed. "Paul you've been out here for hours and Leah will be here shortly, there is no need." He stated.

"I'm asking for permission to stay Sam. Please." He offered.

Sam glanced toward the dark woods and then back to us, before reluctantly agreeing, as he made his way into the woods and left the three of us there. Paul stalked up to me once he was out of sight.

"This is bullshit Jake..." He thought to me. "I respect Sam but man... this doesn't settle well with me, not one fucking bit. You know we all care for Bella bro... makes me worry what his plan is... if the Cullens are after her..." He trailed off, lowering his head, a small whine escaping him.

I huffed and glanced to Seth who was remaining very silent in all this. Was he choosing to keep his thoughts to himself and if so... why? I pushed away the raw feeling of anxiety over the reason and addressed Paul.

"I agree with you. This doesn't sit well with me either, Paul. It reeks... reeks of a set up to me. We can't trust them. We never could." I stated in my mind. My head unwillingly flooding with memories of Bella's bruises. Paul viciously snarled in response and Seth allowed his thoughts to open up to us. His worry was evident for her.

"Filthy fucking leech." Paul seethed, shaking his head violently back and forth. Seth also growled and moved in with us. Although his thoughts were still relatively quiet. This unnerved me, as I glanced over to him, seeing him immediately dropp his gaze to the forest ground beneath us.

The wind began to howl fiercely as we took off running the border for patrol. Leah soon joined us and apologized for being late. We quickly filled her in on what was discussed with Sam. Leah stopped running in her tracks and we all halted with her as well.

"Wait!" Leah said, linking her mind to ours again. "Hold the fuck up. Sam said to wait... WAIT! What the hell are we waiting for ... Edward to take her?" She asked.

I growled viciously at this and she huffed back as Paul added his two sense again.

"Look, usually I don't agree with you Leah, but this time I do. This is crazy. We have no idea what the fuck they want. What if they all come back. Holy shit... We already have a problem with how young Colin and Brady were when they first phased. Hell... we can't have that... it will get worse. You damn well know it. We all do." He stated with a heavy sigh. His eyes falling on each of us as we stood there.

I couldn't hold back the anger that coursed through me at the mere thought of Edward trying to pull some shit to get her back... persuade her or worse.

I huffed and shook my head, trying to shake the thought. Leah saw my struggle and nudged into me for support.

"I think we need to address this again with Sam. ASAP. You all know how I felt about Bella before... but now... I have respect for her and will do whatever needs to be done to keep her from him. I don't give a shit what he says... that''s not love. Like hell it is. That's fucked up to say the least." She spat. Anger hitting her and running through all of us as we remained linked in thought. Seth shook his head and stared at the ground beneath him. His unsettling silence lingering on.

"Alright..." I spoke up. "It's agreed. We'll all address this with Sam in the morning. Come on." I thought, taking off and running with new speed around the Border.

I didn't give a shit if it meant me living in wolf form again for weeks on end, running all hours of the day and night. For Bella's safety it was damn well worth it. They all soon caught up with me, running together as a unit.

We reached the river a few hours later and stopped for a short break there. Paul dove in, getting cooled off and taking a drink in the process.

My mind ran wild with thoughts of Bella. I couldn't stop them as they came to me. The ones that stuck with me most were her tears and how I longed to put the shattered pieces of her back together again. It was an ache I could not ignore. The most recent one lingering on my mind for a moment too long, causing a growl to escape me. Leah glanced over to me, seeing the images in my head as they played out to her now as well. She saw Bella's fear of Edward and shook her head back and forth, profusley huffing.

We took off again and headed back toward Forks to make the loop and check in on Bella's house. Jared and Quil had been ordered to stay there for the night and watch over the house.

We ran fast, letting the speed take us over and making it back to her back yard in less than an hour.

I broke out of the tree line and stopped dead in my tracks to smell the familiar stench. It hit me in the face and lingered there as I snapped my head up and heard the others come up fast from behind me. They burst out of the tree's, the sick scent surrounding there senses now.

Paul roared menacingly. "Where the fuck is it..." He yelled to me.

My eyes darted around, checking the tree's and then falling on a sudden movement. A blur swooping down now, and landing in front of us. Paul followed my stare, along with Leah and Seth.

Leah lurched herself forward, baring her razor teeth and snapping them at a now wide eyed Jasper. He held his hand up to her, taking a defensive position as she moved toward him. I stepped protectively in front of her and glared at him, letting the snarls come from me... one after another.

Jasper hissed loudly in response and I watched as his lips curl back in warning, revealing his venom soaked fangs.

"Come on you stupid leech... Come get me..." Leah challenged him. No fear at all in her tone.

"LEAH..." Paul warned.

"Oh come on! I can take him." She roared, moving out around me. She began to circle him. His golden eyes followed her, egging her on silently.

Paul roared profusely and darted out, placing himself in front of Leah just as Jasper lurched forward at her. Jasper stopped immediatley when Paul placed himself in between them as a protective barrier.

"Back the FUCK UP LEECH." He warned, his teeth bared and his ears fully laid back with rage. Jasper stood up straight, his eyes fixed on mine now.

"We mean no harm..." He said.

"BULLSHIT!" Leah spat and Paul huffed .

Jasper moved past them in a blur of speed and placed himself directly in front of me. I felt the rage hit me like a damn freight train at his closeness. I snarled, laying my ears back and baring my own teeth to him in warning.

The raw instinct to protect Bella, now thick and heavy, as I yielded all control over to it. Jasper sensed this and placed his hands at his sides, taking a cautious step back.

"I am only here for Edward. I came here hoping he would be here." He stated, his eyes darting up to Bella's window. I snapped my teeth to him and glanced up to it myself.

"When I find him, we will be going to the Denali's clan and never returning to Forks. Carlilse believes this is for the best of our coven and of course for Bella as well."

I didn't take my eyes from him as he moved back, holding his hands up in mock surrender.

"It really is a tragedy... Bella would have been of great use to us." He sneered.

I lurched foward and roared with rage at him. His tone was laced with sarcasm and it held a double meaning of some sort. I was sure of it.

"We have worked together before... maybe we can again... for the sake of all involved... it may be best?" He now questioned and turned back to me. "After all... we don't want anyone getting hurt now do we?" He said mockingly.

I moved toward him. Placing myself inches from his statue like frame. Paul's snarls were becoming louder and louder by the second. The sound reverberating off the tree's around us. Leah was still seething, and swiping her paws in front of her.

"Give me one fucking minute with him... just one..." She begged. Paul shook his head vigorously, and placed himself in front of her again.

Jasper laughed and then darted up the tree. He took off flying from tree to tree at an impossible speed. Leah and Seth took off after him as I stayed there with Paul who was cussing profusely in his head, over and over again.

A sick feeling washed over me as I thougth of Jaspers tone when he addressed us. There was something way off here. He couldn't be trusted... not now... not ever.

Suddenly Leahs thoughts came crashing back into me. "Jake He's headed right for La'Push. He's going for Bella." She screamed to us.

I took off running at full speed to my house. Paul right after me, hot on my heels.

"Fucking pricks!" He roared as we ran.

"Leah don't let him near her!" I raged and pushed myself harder than I knew was even possible. I ran ahead of Paul a bit. My speed causing him to struggle at keeping pace with me.

"I got your back Jake!" He stated and ran to catch me.

He was seconds behind me as I lept over the river bed and landed on the other side and into La'Push Land. I heard him now gaining on me and matching me stride for stride. We ran together at new speeds. My chest ached and it wasn't from the exhaustion. It was from the pure fear that gripped me that he would get to her first.

Leah's thoughts were running wild through my head.

"He's on our land! They've broken the treaty! Alert Sam! NOW!" She roared to Seth, who immediately followed the instruction. Opening up his mind and showing us he was running to Sam's at full speed.

We burst out of the thick forest and into my back yard just in time to see Leah charge at Jasper.

"Leah!" Paul warned, running to her and knocking Jasper to the ground. His teeth were inches from his face as I ran to them.

I saw Edward dart with great speed toward my front door. I went after him, a fury like no other striking me.

"I'll kill you Leech!" I roared, knowing he could read my every damn thought, as I ran and placed myself in front of the door. Guarding it from him.

He flew to his feet, his eyes black as the nights sky, and took a defensive stance in front of me.

"Where is she!" He hissed, eyes darting to mine. "I know she's here mutt, I can smell her."

"Get the FUCK off my land. NOW!" I seethed, as my rage for him began to consume me whole.

Edward hissed again and lunged toward me. Placing himself inches away from my face. I snapped my teeth and laid my ears back again in warning to him. My whole body felt like it was on fire as my anger for him took me over, leaving nothing but pure hate in its wake for him.

Sam suddenly came running, along with the rest of the pack, out of the woods. He ran to me, placing himself in between Edward and I. He pushed Edward backwards. His snarls loud and deadly as he stalked toward him.

"Just what the hell do you think you're doing!" He roared in his mind to Edward. "You are on our land! A direct violation of the treaty we set in place! I have the right to kill you for this!" He seethed on, still stalking forward. His teeth bared. "Leave! Now!" He raged to him, the order loud and thunderous around us as it came from him.

"You cannot keep Bella from me!" He hissed angrily in reply. "I need to see her!"

"She sure as hell doesn't wanna see you! Now GO! NOW!." He ordered of him.

I kept my stance in front of the door, watching him intently. Jasper was still pinned under Paul's front paws. Sam ordered him to release him and he did so at once but not before snapping at him once more. Jasper jumped up and grabbed ahold of Edward by the arm, dragging him away from us though he fought him.

"Let's go..." Jasper hissed. His eyes focused on mine. I let out a low growl and glared back at him as he pulled Edward away.

Leah roared again as they took off into the woods. "Stupid parasite."

Sam slowly turned around to me. "Okay... this changes things... everything." He stated. "Paul, Leah, Seth, and Embry... you all stay here tonight. Guard Jake and Billy's. Colin, Brady, Quil, Jared...You're coming with me to Bella's house. Lets go. We'll stand guard tonight and regroup to discuss this in the morning." He ordered, running off into the dense forests with them. Paul nodded to me as they descended into our back yard, circling uneasily and on edge.

I couldn't take my eyes of the tree line ahead of me. A feeling told me he was still out there waiting. I scanned the tree's once more, seeing nothing. Hearing nothing... the silence in and of itself was eery. There was no wind, no sound at all amongst the forest. I looked to Paul.

"I need to check on Bells. I'll be back."

He nodded slowly to me in reply. "Sure thing Jake. Go ahead ... We'll be more than ready if they come back." He assured me, as I took cover behind a large tree and phased back, pulling on my shorts.

I saw my father come to the door and whip it open. Anger clear on his face as I met him there.

"Is he gone?" He asked tensely. I nodded.

"Yeah... for now..." I replied.

"He better stay gone... or else." My father said, as I moved past him through the door and into the house.

I looked around to see Bella was no longer on the couch. I ran down the hall and opened the door to my room. She jumped back, her eyes wide. The look on her face was pure terror. She backed up, pressing her back against my dresser. It broke my heart to see her have such fear like that.

"Jacob!" I heard my father yell to me in panic, followed by a loud crashing sound.

Bella came rushing to me, taking my hand shakily in hers, as I went with her back out to see Sam, now in human form, in a fight to the death with Edward. Bella gasped aloud and drew herself in close to me.

Paul came crashing in behind them, grabbing ahold of Edward from behind and ripping him off of Sam. Paul threw him to the floor and grabbed him by the throat. Bella gasped again as I placed her protectively behind me.

"Get off me MUTT!" Edward hissed. Struggling to get out of Paul's grip. Jasper rushed in, coming to Edwards defense now.

He grabbed Paul from behind and pulled him off Edward. Tremors were rolling off him in waves, making his shape blur. I knew he was mere moments from phasing.

Within seconds, Leah, Seth, and Embry ran in. There eyes huge as they saw what was going on. I could feel my own tremors start to rock through me. I fought them hard, with Bells so close, I couldn't take the risk of phasing.

Sam jumped to his feet and punched Jasper hard in the face. knocking him into an end table. It was all out war as my father shot me a panicked look from across the room. I was on the verge of losing it.

Edwards head suddenly snapped up, looking to Bella who was still behind me. He moved quickly around Sam and was in my face in a flash. Bella's whole body shook and I moved back with her, keeping her hand locked securely in mine.

"Move." Edward hissed to me.

"Get out of my house!" I spat back at him.

Bella pressed herself into my back, her hands still shaking. I squeezed her hand and glared at Edward, whose eyes were now fixed on Bella. He moved back a bit and spoke to her.

"Bella... You're being unreasonable..." He began. Bella shook her head and cut him off.

"No... " She gasped to him.

"Bella we need to talk about this... we can work through this."

I felt sick as I watched him try to coax her into giving him yet another chance.

Bells shook her head again, placing herself beside me as she glanced up at me. Eyes pleading with me to make him leave.

"Bella..." Edward started again, reaching for her. She moved away from him and pressed herself into me, as I glared at him.

"I love you..." Edward said to her. I swallowed hard at the bile that rose in my throat.

Bella shook her head again... "No..." She said, with a shaky tone. "That's not love. I know it wasn't just your fault Edward, but I cant be with you after that... I just can't."

Edward stared at her and then to me. "I do love you..." He protested... "It was... a mistake... I swear I'll never hurt you again..."

"I know you loved me but things can never be the same. I... Forgive you... but I can never forget. Please... just leave..." She said, unshed tears in her tone. I was having all I could do not to physically throw him out myself.

Edward shook his head and glared at me. "So I guess this is what you wanted all along mutt." He stated. "So you could have her."

"You did this." I yelled at him, stepping closer to him and feeling my self control start to slip... "Don't blame me... you knew what the risk was... and you went ahead anyway. I could kill you ..." I seethed through clenched teeth. My tremors returning.

Edward went silent and looked to Bella again. "Please Bella... just take some time... think things over... were meant to be... "

I scoffed and shook my head as Bella's head snapped up, staring at him, tears running down her face. "Meant to be?" She stated in a whisper to him as she shook her head. "No... You ... can't love someone and hurt them like you've hurt me... twice..." She breathed.

Edward looked haunted as she said this, but I on the other hand, couldn't have been more proud of her for speaking the truth to him.

Edward sighed and glanced down to the floor. "I can't live without you Isabella. I won't." He stated Firmly. His tone catching my attention immediately.

Bella remained silent and slowly glanced back to him. "It can't ever be the way it was ... Edward I... can't." She whispered to him.

Another loud crash came from behind us, as Sam and Paul phased inside the house, knocking over the furniture and snarling at Jasper in rage. His eyes grew wide as he glanced to Edward.

"We have to go." Jasper said quickly to him.

"I'm not leaving here without her." Edward hissed. "I won't. She belongs to me."

My head snapped up and met his eyes when he stated this. I instinctively tightened my hand in Bella's.

"She's not you're damn property!" I seethed, momentarily lurching forward.

Sam roared vicioulsy in warning. His ears laid back fully in rage as Embry came over to us, placing himself by my side for back up.

"Get out!" He shouted to Edward..."Or we'll end you!"

Edward suddenly shoved Embry, throwing him back into the kitchen table, smashing it to pieces. He hissed furiously and raised his hand to me. I stepped up to him in response and was more than ready to finish him.

"No!" Bella screamed from behind me, suddenly coming around and placing herself in front of me, her hand still in mine. "Stop!" She cried out to him. "Please..."

Edward's eyes went black when she spun around and pressed herself into me, wrapping her arms around my neck as she released my hand. I wrapped a protective arm around her, never taking my eyes off Edward.

Edward lowered his hand and backed away, one step at a time. His eyes black and empty as he went out the door with Jasper in tow behind him. Sam ran after them, followed by the others. My father shook his head as his eyes met mine.

I wrapped both arms around Bella, feeling her shake, as I kept my eyes fixed on the open front door. Not trusting him for a damn second.

My tremors were starting to hit me again as I held her. I tried to release her, in fear that they would consume me but Bella held onto me, pulling back just slightly to meet my eyes with her own. She saw my struggle and placed her hands on either side of my face, gently pressing her forehead against mine. I focused on her and her alone, trying to calm the inner wolf that raged at me to rip Cullen apart right now. I took a few deep breaths and closed my eyes, waiting for the tremors to subside.

Bella kissed me on the cheek, slowly turning back around, reaching for my hand and taking it back in hers once more.

I opened my eyes and glanced around to see the mess that the house was in. Bella's eyes welled up with tears as she released my hand and went to my father, kneeling in front of him and crying.

"Billy I... I'm so sorry." She wept. My father shook his head and reached for her hand.

"Don't you worry about that... nothing that can't be replaced Bella... it's okay... really dear." He reassured her as she hugged him.

Paul came back in through the door, in human form. He looked around at us. "Everyone okay?" He asked, looking to me and dad. My father released Bella and nodded.

Paul touched Bella's arm when he saw her tears. "You okay?" He asked. She nodded and thanked him.

He walked over to me and was still fuming when he spoke to me in a harsh whisper,

"He thinks she'll change her mind. Sam is out there fighting with him right now. I don't see this ending well. They broke the treaty... things are gonna get ugly..." He stopped and looked around..."Well... more ugly..." He corrected himself before running back outside. I shook my head and went after him. This was enough. I was beyond sick of his bullshit. I kissed Bella on the forehead and asked her to stay inside with dad for now. She quickly nodded and grabbed my arm before I could leave.

"Wait Jake... Please... be careful..." She said with sincerity.

"Always." I told her before running outside, just barely making it to the woods before phasing and shredding my shorts in the process.

I ran full speed till I met up with the others a short distance away. Sam was hollering in human form still at Jasper and Edward. Demanding they remain off our land. Paul, Leah, Seth, Colin, Brady, Jared, and Embry were all gathered behind him in wolf form. Leah paced back and forth.

I ran up to them and took my place. Edward saw me and went to approach me but Sam placed a firm hand on his chest.

"Don't..." He seethed in warning.

Edward seeemd to think better of it and backed down. Jasper kept his eyes on me still, the feeling unsettling to say at best. I glared back at him, letting him know he didn't fucking intimidate me one bit.

"You had no right to cross into our land and break the treaty." Sam yelled.

"I had every right... You have MY WIFE!" Edward hissed back to him in reply.

I growled and locked eyes with Edward.

"She is STILL my wife Jacob!" He yelled to me, invading my mind. I huffed and stalked toward him, as he shook his head and hissed at Sam.

"This isn't over!" He said, before darting into the forest with Jasper following right behind him.

"You're damn right it's not! But you will be if you ever come back here again!" Sam yelled after them. He turned around and looked to all of us. "Let's go back to Billy's and help clean up. Then we'll get some rest and meet at nine, at my place. Paul and Seth can stand guard here and I will go with Embry to keep watch at Charlie's for the rest of the night." He stated as he turned and phased into wolf form, running with us back to my place.

Once we got into my yard, we all phased back. I told Paul to grab me some shorts from my room and he laughed, knowing I had shredded the other pair.

"Yea... no problem Bud." He replied, taking off for the house as I stood in the cover of the trees and waited for him to return with them. He came back a few seconds later and tossed me my denim cut offs.

"Thanks Bro." I replied, slipping them on and heading for the house.

I walked in through my front door to see Bella on her hands and knees trying to pick up the mess in the kitchen. Leah shot me a pitty expression, and the others looked just as sad for her. I went to her and tried to stop her.

"Hey... don't worry about it, Bells."

She wouldn't meet my eyes. She just shook her head and kept cleaning instead. I sighed and nodded for the others to give us a minute. They left and retreated to the living room, picking up the knocked over furniture and setting things back in place the best they could.

"Bells..." I said in a soft tone to her as she kept working. I crouched down and took her hand in mine. "Hey..." I said to her, seeing her stop and glance up at me.

"I shouldn't have come here..." She whispered, getting to her feet. I rose with her. Her words hitting me hard.

"No... Bells it's okay." I reassured her.

"No it's not Jake... " She cried. "Look... look at what me being here has done? All I ever do is destroy things for you..." She said, taking her hand from mine and going to my room.

I followed her and shut the door behind us, feeling a lump grow in my throat as I watched her take her clothes out of my drawer and grab her bag. She began to pack as panic coursed through me. I reached for her instinctively.

"There's no reason you should have to deal with this Jake... I chose this... Not you..." She said to me.

"No... Bells Stop..." I asked her.

She shook her head and began placing the clothes in her bag. A sick feeling washed over me at the sight.

"Bells... please..." I pleaded with her. She lifted her head and met my eyes when she heard the tone in my voice.

"Jake I..." She started...

I took the bag form her and pulled her to me. "Don't go... Stay with me... Let me protect you... Let me fix you... Please Bells." I breathed to her, pressing my forehead gently into hers, unable to hide the desperation in my voice.

She just shook her head and moved back from me a bit, as she took her clothes back in her hands and began packing again.

I watched her, feeling my heart sink and cursing the little voice inside my head that said... 'You knew this was going to happen'...

I paced back and forth, not knowing what else to do with my frustration. "You're just gonna leave." I asked her.

"I'm hurting you by staying here, Jake. It's not fair. I've put the pack at risk... Sam could have been hurt or worse tonight. They came here because I'm here." She replied softly, zipping up her bag and looking around the room for her jacket. I ran a hand through my hair, feeling utterly defeated. "I just can't stay here and put you in the middle of this." She stated.

I approached her. "I'm already in the middle of this." I replied. She looked into my eyes and touched my cheek.

"I love you Jake..." She whispered... "I can't take the risk with you... with them hurting you... because of me... I would never forgive myself if something happened to you or one of the pack because of my selfish choice." She dropped her hand and picked up her bag. The lump in my throat was now replaced by an ache in my chest, as she walked over to the door and away from me. "I'll call Charlie... have him come get me." She sighed.

I couldn't let her do this. I shook my head and walked over to her as I took the bag in her hand and set it on the floor.

"Bells..." I breathed to her, taking her face in my hands..."When you... chose him..." I swallowed hard and looked in her eyes. "I couldn't change your mind... you married him... And there was nothing I could do when you drove away after your wedding. I wanted to protect you, I knew you had your mind set on him, and nothing I said mattered. I felt... helpless Bells... But this... right now... I can protect you from and I will. Even if you go back... I'm not letting you go through this alone, honey. So please... please stay here with me... " My tone was soft and pleading with her. My heart ached to keep her here with me. To keep her safe. My soul already began to miss her presence and she wasn't even gone yet.

She looked in my eyes and said something I wasn't expecting...

"I was such a fool..."She breathed... "I'm sorry for all this has caused you Jake..."

I pulled her closer to me and kissed her forehead... "Please Bella..." I breathed to her in reply. Hoping she would see my hearts desire and stay.

She looked at me long and hard before nodding slowly.

"Okay..." She agreed hesitantly, as I let out a sigh of relief and hugged her tightly to me, only to release her a bit when I feared I would hurt her. I felt Bella hug me tighter in response. "You're not hurting me Jake... I know you would never do that... ever..." She said softly to me.

I tightened my arms around her ..."No honey... Not ever..." .

A sudden knock on the door made me release her and give her half a smile. She tossed her bag on my bed and glanced toward the door as I opened it to see Leah there.

She gave Bella half a smile. "I just wanted to see if you were okay?" She asked her. Sincerity in her tone

Bella nodded . " Yeah... I thinks so. " She answered her.

"Well, if you need anything, feel free to give me a call okay?" Leah offered. I was a bit taken back by her sudden generosity but equally thankful for it, nonetheless.

"Thanks Leah... I will." She replied to her.

Leah waved and left the room, as I shook my head and looked to Bells who had an equally puzzled expression on her face. She sat down on the edge of my bed, a new look coming to her face. One of fear. I crouched down in front of her, taking her hands in mine.

"What..." I asked her.

"They'll come for me ..." She whispered... "Make me one of them, even if I don't want that anymore. The volturi don't believe in second chances..."

I shook my head. "I won't let them touch you, Bells... They'll have to kill me and the whole pack first."

"I know..." She breathed... "Cause you'd... Fight to the death for me Jake..." She whispered, as my eyes locked on hers and I nodded in reply.

"You're worth it... " I replied and stood up, glancing down at my watch to see it was two in the morning.

I grabbed on of my flannel shirts, tossing it to Bella. "Here..." I said as she caught it. "It's late honey... or should I say early..."

"Thanks." She said with a smile as she got up and went to the bathroom to change. I followed her out and saw that the house was put back together pretty well, thanks to the pack. My dad was sitting in the living room by the couch. A look of real worry on his face. He saw me and tried to fake a smile but he didn't have me fooled in the least.

"... Dad?" I asked him, sitting down beside him.

"For them to come here... break the damn treaty... and show no regard for what we set in place so many years ago tells me one thing son." He said, raising his head to look at me. "They're willing to do anything... cross any line to get her back. He has no intention of letting her go... no intention of letting her have a normal life... He's ruthless... This changes things..." He said to me.

I felt my blood boil at his words, as Bells came out of the bathroom and walked over to us, sitting down next me me.

"Billy, I know you said not to worry about it, but I really am sorry. If you want I can replace the table tomorrow." She offered. I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and shook my head. My father just chuckled.

"That old thing... Good land... we have had that for 10 years now. I'd say it's about time we got a new one here anyway... You'll do no such thing dear. We'll take care of it." He said patting her knee. "Well... I'm off to bed... See you in a few hours." He said wheeling himself down the hall. I followed him in and helped him into bed. He thanked me as I said good night and shut the door for him.

I went back to Bella and held out my hand to her as she took it and walked with me to my room.

I pulled back the covers for her and she climbed in as I glanced down, taking note that I was still shirtless. I opened my drawer to get a t-shirt to throw on and heard Bells from behind me.

"Jake... ?"

"Yeah honey?" I replied, turning to her.

She sat up in bed and looked my way. "You don't... have to do that...it's okay." She shrugged.

"You sure?" I asked, before shutting the drawer. She nodded to me as I walked over and sat down on the bed with her. The last thing I wanted to do was make her feel uneasy.

"I can sleep on the floor if you want?" I offered.

"No..." She shook her head... "You make me feel... safe..." She whispered, eyes meeting mine. I reached my hand up and touched her chin.

"You are safe with me Bells... always." I replied, climbing into bed with her. She turned and said goodnight, taking my hand and wrapping my arm around her. I pulled her gently back into me and rested my chin on her shoulder, kissing her lightly on the cheek. "Night, Bells."

My body craved sleep but my mind had other plans. I kept thinking on what my father had said. He was right, this sure as hell did change things. I hated that Bella was in this shit to begin with. What I wouldn't give to have her fall in love with me before she ever met him... I know... wishful thinking.

My mind ran through how haunted Edward looked. I knew he was desperate to get her back and that unnerved me.

How desperate was he? I pondered as Bells stirred and turned my way. She drew herself into me, placing her had close to my chest and resting her hand there. I laid my head on top of hers, running my fingers through her hair.

I loved being close with her like this. There was no other feeling like it. It made me feel whole, like nothing and no one else ever could. She began to stir again, her heart racing as I glanced down at her and waited for the screaming to begin. I reached down and took her hand in mine, lacing our fingers together. She sighed and a pained expression came across her beautiful face. I cringed inwardly and hated to imagine what she was dreaming of. Though I had a pretty damn good idea.

Bella rolled back over, taking my hand with her and wrapping my arm around her again. I wrapped my other arm under her, pulling her back into me again. Within seconds her heart was no longer racing and her face relaxed. The pained look vanishing.

I sighed in relief and listened to her breathing till the sun came in through my window. It didn't last long though. Soon the coulds rolled in and rain began to pour down. I listened to the sound of it on the roof. I had always loved the sound of the rain.

Bella soon stirred and rolled back over as she opened her eyes.

"Is it already morning?" She asked sleepily to me. I nodded.

"Yes... it's raining." I sighed to her.

"You know what?" She asked.

"What?" I replied.

"I just relaized I haven't had a nightmare in two nights..." She whispered, glancing up to me. "I think... it's you... You keep them away..."

"I try..." I replied.

"You're still my sun you know?" She asked me.

I nodded in reply. "I hope so."

"That won't ever change Jake." She sighed. "You're apart of me..."

I glanced over to her, meeting her eyes again with mine.

"And you're apart of me..." I whispered to her.

She nestled into me, growing silent. I continued to listen to the rain pour outside and hold her close to me.

"Jake... have you... imprinted?" She soon asked me in a low tone.

I glanced down and pulled away a bit, so I could see her face better.

"No... why?"

She shrugged and laid her head back on my chest. "I just... wanted to know...so for now you're still you?"

"Yea... and you're still you..." I replied.

"For now..." She said softly

"For good... as long as I'm around..." I promised her.

"I think about it a lot you know? It scares me to be honest."

I tightened my grip on her. "I will always love you Bella, imprint or no imprint."

"You don't mean that..."

"With everything I am, I mean that. No one could ever replace you honey... It's not possible."

I heard a knock at my front door. Bella froze, her body going rigid at the sound as I kissed the top of her head and got up to answer it.

"Stay here honey." I told her before heading out to the living room. The knock came again before I could answer it.

I whipped the door open to See Seth there and I instantly dreaded the conversation I feared was about to take place.

_**A/N: I wanted to say a huge thank you to all those who have taken the time to read my story. I was encouraged recently by a friend to publish some of the stories I had done in my spare time last year, simply for a hobby. So we decided to join the site together and she has been a great supporter. A BIG thanks to her. Any and all feedback is appreciated. I value each and every one. Thank you and Happy (Belated) New Year Everyone!**_


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight Saga Series. They are the sole property of Stephanie Meyers.

**A/N: Wanted to say a huge thank you to all those who have taken the time to read and review my story. As stated before, I read and value each one. I have heard those who would like to hear Bella's POV soon, please bare with me for the next few chapters. I promise her POV is in the very near future. As always, THANKS for reading :)**

(Jacobs POV Continued)

I stood in my doorway, looking at a now very anxious Seth. His tone nervous even as he spoke...

"Hey uh... Jake... can we talk?" He asked, running a nervous hand through his hair. Heavy dread coursed through me at his seemingly simple question. I tried like hell to push it aside, but failed miserably.

"Yea... Sure..." I replied, stepping out to meet him.

"Look... I know it's early and all, but..." He paused, appearing to have a hard time saying what was on his mind.

"It's okay..." I replied, leaning against my front door.

"I... think we should..." He stopped suddenly and glanced over my shoulder, as I felt the door open, seeing Bella step outside with us, greeting Seth with a wide smile.

"Morning Seth."

I watched as Seth's whole damn face lit up the moment she appeared, causing the dread I felt to intensify by ten fold.

"Hey Bella..." He replied

"How are you this morning?"

"I'm doing okay and yourself?" He sighed.

"I'm doing alright. Is Leah with you?" Bella asked, glancing around Seth's shoulder.

"Oh, she's back home."

Bella nodded. "Well say hello to her for me?"

"I sure will..." He replied, offering her a sincere smile.

Silence soon settled there between the three of us. Seth looking at me with the same nervous expression he had arrived with.

"Seth... you wanna go for a run or something? So we can talk?" I asked, not able to hide the apprehension in my own tone from him.

He shook his head and glanced quickly over to Bella before his eyes met mine again. "No...I'll uh... Talk to you later, Jake." He said in a hurry, before waving to us and heading for the woods without so much as another word.

I sighed heavily and debated on going after him and glancing over to Bells who simply shrugged.

"Did I interupt? I'm sorry..." She asked me softly.

"Don't be..." I replied, kissing her on the cheek.

"Well it looked ... important..." She sighed.

"I'll talk to him later, honey." I assured her.

"I need to get dressed and go see Angela today. She called a while ago and I haven't called her back. Don't want her to think I'm being rude or anything."

"Okay... you want me to give you a ride over?"

She nodded, heading inside the house to get dressed. "That'd be great Jake thanks."

I went back into the house with a heavy heart. The situation with Seth weighing profoundly on my mind. I made some breakfast for Bells and was frying eggs when my dad came out.

"Morning Jake." He greeted me.

"Hey dad... sleep okay?" I asked, pouring him a cup of coffee and setting it on the table for him.

"Thanks... and yeah... I slept okay."

"Hungry?" I asked, offering him a plate of eggs.

I was still busy in the kitchen when I heard my father suddenly start to chuckle. I glanced over at him, wondering where his sudden laughter was coming from.

"What?" I asked with a shrug, confused as to what the hell could be so damn funny.

He simply shook his head, the wide smile still on his face while opening his paper to read. "Oh nothing Jake... it's nothing."

I raised and eyebrow and started putting eggs on a plate for Bella. My dads eyes still on me with a mischievous grin.

"What dad? Really?" I asked, with a chuckle of exasperation.

"Do you know that you're whistling?" I stopped and thought about it... Was I whistling? I hadn't done that for... well in forever. I shook my head and laughed along with him.

"No... I guess I didn't notice it..." I trailed off, sitting down next to him.

"It's nice to see, son... real nice." He replied, diving into the sports section of the paper just as Bella came out to join us, a smile on her face when she saw breakfast on the table waiting for her.

"You cooked?" She asked

"Yes..." I replied.

"Awe thanks Jake." She said to me, sitting down to eat. "Morning Billy."

He smiled and greeted her. I couldn't help but wish that it was like this everyday, all the time. Having breakfast with her and maybe even a few little ones running around. For shits sake... I needed to get a grip.

"So what's the plan today?" My farther asked, glancing over to me.

"I have to meet Sam soon, and Bells is going to see a friend from school."

"Yep... " Bella sighed, taking a drink of her orange juice.

She actually finished her plate, which more than made me smile. I was thrilled her appetite seemed to be improving, lately. I cleared the plates, loading them in the sink to do the dishes, feeling Bella came up from behind me and pressing herself into my back. I stopped, and turned to face her. She raised herself up on her tip toes, and kissed my cheek, running her hand through my hair. "Thanks for breakfast. I can clean up if you want. I know you need to see Sam soon so..." She trailed off, worry growing in her eyes. I placed a hand under her chin.

"Hey... look at me. There's Nothing to worry about... okay?"

She gave me a quick nod, as I glanced down at her hand, picking it up to examine it. She sighed..."Guess I really can't do dishes with this thing."

"Does it hurt?"

She shook her head to me. "No... not too bad. A few Motrin should do the trick today."

I went back to washing the dishes and felt Bella press herself back into me, kissing my shoulder. "Thank you... For everything?"

"You're more than welcome." I told her, glancing over my shoulder at her big beautiful doe eyes.

I hurried to finish the kitchen clean up and jumped in the shower, quickly getting ready, and somehow managing not to cut myself all too hell while shaving in the process. Sam needed me to be on time today, and he would have my ass if I was late, rightfully so.

Bella soon slipped on her jacket, tossing me my keys. We were out the door and running to my car when the rain really began to pour. I quickly opened Bella's door and soon jumped in myself.

"Man... Never a dry day here, huh?" I teased, starting the car and taking off. Bella remained pretty damn silent the rest of the way to Angela's house, staring blankly out the passenger window for what seemed like minutes on end. I reached over and took her hand in mine, caressing my thumb over her hand in a soothing manor.

I knew last night had really shaken her up. The affects still there this morning. Bella glanced over to me and faked half a smile. I gave her a look that said I knew she didn't mean it, giving her hand a small reassuring squeeze. We soon pulled into Angela's driveway, where she was standing on the porch, waving to me, as Bella opened her door to get out. She stopped and hesitated for a moment, glancing back.

"Um... I can call you... If... If something..." She started.

I leaned in towards her, kissing her on the cheek. "You can call me whenever you want, honey. I'll have my cell, and I'll come back to get you when you're ready. Just call." I said, giving her hand another squeeze before releasing it, as she got out.

"Thanks Jake..." She replied, going to shut the door. She suddenly stopped and peeked her head back in quickly. "I love you..." She said, eyes on mine.

"I love you, too Bells... Have a good time." I replied, watching her go in with Angela, before backing out and heading to Sams in a hurry. My mind busy with the events of last night.

Edward's hissing coming back to me:

"... She is still my wife! You cannot keep her from me!" He raged in my head again. I gripped the steering wheel, swallowing hard, as a slew of profanities came falling from my lips for him. "Still your wife... yea... fuck you." I muttered, pulling into Sam's driveway. Embry approaching me when he saw me pull up.

"Dude... you got laid last night?" He asked when I got out of the car, nearly choking on his muffin in the process. I stared back at him, thoroughly damn confused and becoming instantly agitated at his insane remark.

"What!" I snapped back at him, unable to hide the shock, and a bit of anger, that he would even insinuate that right now. He knew what Bella had just been through.

Embry looked back at me, sharing the same perplexed look as I had now. "You... didn't... get laid last night?" He asked in a nervous tone.

I shook my head and saw him shoot a glance over to Seth, who was on the porch with Sam and Jared. I put two and two together. Embry chuckled. "Bro... we totally thought you ..." He stopped short when he saw the look on my face.

"Emb... really? Really man?" I scoffed, less then fucking impressed, walking up to the others. Seth saw me and his eyes grew wide.

"Can I speak with you?" I asked him, gesturing for him to follow me towards Sam's back yard. Sam shot us a weary expression, seeing us walk off. As much as I didn't want to have this conversation, I knew I had to.

"Look Jake..." Seth began, as we reached the border of the forest. "I totally didn't mean to let it slip. Really! You know how Paul is." He shrugged and trailed off, looking back toward the house. I had to give him that. We were all too well aware of how Paul's mind worked.

"Nothing happened... Not that it would be anyone's damn business if it had..." I clarified for him.

He nodded and tucked his hands in his pockets. "Sorry..."

I looked at him long and hard. He had become so much like a younger brother to me, and I hated to even approach the subject, mainly because I feared the answer might kill me but I knew that I couldn't avoid this forever.

"Seth..." I started, seeing him lift his head, his eyes meeting mine nervously. "Do you have feelings for Bella?" I asked. "Sam Mentioned..."

He cleared his throat, dropping his gaze to the wet forest ground beneath us. My heart beginning to sink, as I saw his expression.

Fuck...

"Well, that's what I wanted to talk to you about earlier..." He sighed, his head lifting and reluctantly meeting my gaze. "She is beautiful..."

Heavy dread now loomed around the corner, threatening to consume me. If he had feelings for her, and she returned them, it would be my demise, my very undoing.

"Seth..." I said, watching him shuffle his feet anxiously. He sighed and then shrugged, seeming to be at a loss for words. "Just tell me, bro."

"I hate that part of being in a pack like this. Your thoughts are never your own. Sam told you, didn't he?"

I nodded to him, feeling my heart beat painfully against my chest, waiting for the the wide sea of agony to stretch out before me, once again.

"It's not what you think, Jake..."

I glanced over to him, seeing him sit down on a large tree stump. So far, nothing he had said offered me any reassurance, just the opposite.

He lifted his head once more. "I feel horrible about it, Jake. I mean, I know what she means to you, and I didn't intentionally let it slip to Sam on patrol. It was an accident."

I swallowed hard, glancing away from him, forcing myself to ask him the one question I hated to. "Have you imprinted on Bella and kept it a secret?" The words getting lodged into my throat and damn near choking me as I asked him.

Seth abruptly stood up, shaking his head. "What... No... No Jake. I haven't imprinted on Bella. You know how hard it is to keep anything to yourself for long. I would never be able to keep something like that from the pack."

I was relieved, but only for a brief moment, as I remembered Sam's words... "We can't dismiss his feelings altogether."

"...But I do... have feelings for her..." He sighed heavily, eyes on my own.

My stomach dropped and an ache formed in my chest at his words. This couldn't fucking be happening.

I shook my head in disbelief, unable to answer him. My head spinning and silently reeling from the fucking bomb he had just dropped on me,

"Jake... I..." He began, seeing my expression and suddenly coming up short again.

"How long?" I asked, still not believing what he was saying.

Seth shuffled his feet once more, not willing to meet my gaze. "A little while..."

"How long is a little while?"

"... Maybe a month or so... when she used to call the house each day, looking for you... We would talk sometimes..."

I turned away from him, trying to get a grip on myself and remember exactly who the hell I was dealing with here. Had it been anyone else, and I mean anyone, I would have been shit pissed. But this wasn't just anyone else... this was Seth. I took a few steadying breaths, before turning to face him again, his eyes meeting my own as, an uncomfortable silence lingered there between us.

"Jake... I might be young, but I'm not stupid..." His tone growing edgy.

"What-..." I began to reply but he quickly interjected.

"I know how much you love her, and despite the fact that she married Edward, I know how much she loves you. I may have developed some unforeseen crush on her, but I know better than to think it will actually go anywhere. Besides, I would never..." He trailed off, glancing down to the forest floor.

I sighed and felt guilt hit me for assuming the worst of him. Letting my jealousy and fear override how well I knew him. I felt like shit for cutting his character short in such a way.

"You're like a brother to me, Seth. Your dad was... family to us. No blood needed. I would hate for this to cause a wedge between us. I'm sorry I assumed the worst of you. I had no right to do so, Bro."

Seth nodded, clearing his throat. The mention of Harry seeming to hit a nerve. I took a few strides toward him. "Your dad would be real proud of you, Seth. I know your mom is... And so am I."

"Thanks Jake. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before now. I just... didn't want you to think I would ever try something with her." He said, His eyes sincere as they met my own.

"No... Seth ... I'm sorry... Bro... really... I'm sorry... don't worry about it..." I replied, extending a hand to him as a peace offering. He smiled, firmly shaking my hand before walking with me back to Sam's porch.

Paul looked over to me, raising his eyebrows suggestively, as we approached. I glarred at him and shook my head. He quickly changed the look on his face and shrugged.

We spent the next three hours going over what the plan would be from now on with Edward. I voiced my main concerns for Bella and they were well received by Sam who assured me there would be extra patrols at her house for Charlie's sake.

Sam made it plainly clear that after the stunt they had pulled last night, there were no more second chances. He told us all in Alpha tone, that we were to end him if he crossed into our land again. Sam seeming to have had enough. He was pushed too far this time, and I for one was thankful.

Leah piped up, adding her two sense. "Hell yea Sam ... About damn time!" Paul nodded in agreement with her. I couldn't help but notice the new found friendship between them as of lately. He seemed protective in a different way with her, something that had caught my attention on more than one occasion. I made a mental note to ask him about this later, as we continued discussing strategies. It was about four when I got a text from Bells. I reached for my phone in my pocket, glancing down to see her message:

_"Hey Jake... Angela and I are headed to a small party that Jessica is throwing. Can you please pick me up then?"_

I could vaguely remember who Jessica was, and if memory served me correctly, she wasn't one of Bella's favorite people in the world. I excused myself and went out on Sam's porch to call Bella.

One ring... Two ring... Three Ring. ... "Hello?" She answered, a smile in her tone.

"Hey you..." I replied..."So a party huh?"

She laughed. "Yea.. Angela talked me into going. She thinks it'll be good for me. You know... you can come..." She offered.

"Um... No it's okay Bells... Go and have a good time, honey... I'll come get you when you're ready." I replied, trying to ignore the unsettling feeling that crept over me. Thinking of her in the middle of a buch on drunk College guys with only one main common goal...

I pushed the feeling down and encouraged her to go anyway. She did need some fun, and she knew I was only a phone call away if needed.

"Are you sure..." She asked, an unease in her own tone now.

"Bells... do you want me to go with you... You seem... uneasy..." I replied.

There was a silence on the line for a few long seconds before she replied.

"To be... completely honest... It would make me feel better if you were there... It's just..." She paused and I could sense her fear, eventhough she wasn't with me, I didn't need to look at her to know what she was feeling... "Angela doesn't know... I haven't told her ... anything... Just that I'm no longer with Edward. I was pretty vague about it... you know for obvious reasons..." She trailed of, taking a deep breath.

"I'll come get you and Angela, and we'll go? Okay?" I replied.

She breathed out a sigh of relief... "Really? You'll go with me?" She asked.

"Of course... Anything for you, Bells."

"You're the best Jake!" She replied..."We'll be ready in twenty minutes. Is that okay?"

"Yea... sure thing honey. I'll be right down." I replied, saying goodbye to her.

Paul plopped himself down next to me on the steps. "Hey dude, sorry about earlier... We totally thought you got lu -" He stopped short when I snapped my head up and cut him off.

"No." Was All I had to say for him to shut up. He nodded and shook his head.

"You know..." He started.

"Paul... " I warned, knowing well where he was going with that thought.

"What? " He shrugged... "All I'm saying is it could be... good ... for her... " He finished. Looking carefully to me. He saw my pissed off expression and held his hands up in mock surrender. "Okay! Okay!... Oh... Come one Jake... You know you've thought about it... And you know I have a point."

"Shut up, Paul... Please..." I scoffed back to him, standing up to find Sam, who was in the kitchen laughing with Emily and Jared.

"I gotta go get Bells... Can we meet later?" I asked him, seeing him simply nod in reply to me.

"Yea... we'll be keeping an eye on the grounds tonight anyway. I'll signal you if anything comes up."

"Okay thanks Sam." I replied, running down the steps of their porch and heading to my car.

"Hey Jake! Wait up a minute!" I heard Paul yell to me, as I opened my car door to get in. A guilty look on his usally sarcastic face. He jogged up to me and shrugged upon stopping. "Look... Man... I'm sorry." He glanced down quickly... "You know... for before... about."

"It's cool Paul... no harm done. Besides, you know if I actually took you seriously, you'd be sporting a black eye" I assured him, getting in my car and starting it.

"Yea..." He nodded. "True... See ya around man." He replied, leaning in through my window for a moment before I pulled out, waving to him as I drove off.

I couldn't help but feel ridicilous at missing Bells already. Hell... It had only been the afternoon without her, and I was already anxious to see her again. I shook my head, a small smile forming, as I drove home quickly. I ran in and changed into a new pair of jeans and a white dress shirt that my sister had decided to buy for me on one of her many shopping sprees. It was a regular thing for her to do now that she was attending College in the big city.

I chuckled, as I thought back to her telling me to stop growing when she bought them for me. She would laugh when she called me to see if they fit. Most of the time she was dead on when it came to shopping for me. She knew her fashion, and dad filled her in on my sudden growth spurt, granted she didn't know the true reason back then of course. The first time she came home from college for a week off to visit, she couldn't believe how much I had changed. I remember her eyes bugging out of her head when she saw me, and her asking dad what the hell he had been feeding us lately. I chuckled again at the memory, as I dressed.

I quickly brushed my teeth, threw on my brown leather Jacket, and locked the house before leaving. On my way back out, I noticed dad had left me a note on the front door. I was in such a hurry that I had completely missed it before. He told me he was staying with Tim for the afternoon and then heading to Charlies for the game and dinner later. I put the note in my pocket and jumped in the car, speeding to get Bells.

I made good time and was soon pulling into Angela's small driveway. They exited the house immediately with smiles on. I nearly stopped breathing when I saw Bella come out, looking entirely different then when I dropped her off. She was now dressed in form fitting black jeans, and a red sweater, topped with a black, form fitting leather Jacket. Her hair curled in loose waves around her face. She was even wearing makeup, well more than she usally wore anyway.

She looked radiant. I reminded myself to breath, as she opened the door with Angela behind her. "Hey ..." She said to me. I remained silent for a second. Forgetting entirely how the fuck to talk. "Jake?" She asked me again.

I snapped myself out of it and replied to her, so she wouldn't think I was damn crazy. "Hi... You look... Amazing..." I said, locking eyes with her. She blushed rapidly, the color beautiful, settling into her cheeks.

"Thanks..." She replied, moving out of the way so Angela could hop in the back seat. "So do you..."

Angela slid into the back seat with a greeting smile on. "Hi..." she said..."Thanks again for the ride Jake."

"Yea... No problem." I told her, as Bella got in the front seat and shut the door. I slipped the gear into drive, feeling Bella take my hand in hers immediately. I couldn't help the smile on my face in response. She returned it eagerly as we left.

Angela gave me the correct directions to a house about a half hour away. In Port Angeles. I knew this town well enough, but didn't come this way often to know it nearly as well as I knew Forks or La' Push, for that matter.

We soon were pulling into the packed driveway of a house that looked big enough to be a mansion... at least. There must have been thirty cars here... easily. I shut off the engine and got out, opening the door for them. Angela laughed upon seeing the shocked look on Bella's face at how huge this house was.

"Yea... um... I maybe forgot to mention that she lives... well... in a mansion practically... They're... well off..." Angela explained, adjusting her glasses and jacket. She was also dressed nicely, in something far more form fitting than I had ever seen her wear before. Granted... I had only seen her a handful of times, now included. She was really sweet and was one of the few friends that Bella had that I actually liked. She seemed good for Bella. Bella simply shook her head at Angela's explanation.

"I guess I should expect no less from Jessica ..." She trailed off, running a nervous hand through her hair. When she dropped it, I caught it in my own, meeting her eyes with mine. I could hear her heart begin to race. Big crowds had never really been Bella's thing.

"Ready?" Angela asked, peering at us over her glasses with a small smile. Bella nodded to her and we made our way to the massive house ahead.

Music filled the house as we entered. There must have been fifty plus people there. Angela laughed and turned to Bella. "Holy!" She exclaimed, looking all around. Bella glanced around herself, nodding frantically in reply.

"Yea... I'd day..." She agreed.

The place was decked out with clear twinkle lights, and red balloons by the dozens, were in blundles around every corner. There was dancing of course, and lots of it. The living room was turned into a dance flloor with twenty plus people on it, all laughing with red solo cups in there hands, filled with what I assumed was alcohal, based on how some of them were acting. I chuckled a bit and glanced over to see the, at least, ten different bottles of vodka on the large table, filled with food of every kind on it.

Angela looked back to Bells. "Come on!" She beamed, grabbing Bella's free hand, and tugging her toward the table. I reluctantly let go, not wanting her to feel that I was hovering or crowding her by any means. She stopped and turned back around, halting Angela in the process, as she reached for my hand. I took it firmly back in mine, lacing our fingers together. She mouthed a "Thank you" to me, as I winked at her in reply, seeing yet another blush form.

Angela poured herself and Bella a drink, handing her a red solo cup of her own now. She glanced up at me. "Want one?" She kindly offered. I shrugged and accepted her offer. One wouldn't hurt. I knew better than to think it would effect me any. I'd need a hell of a lot more then that to get me drunk.

Angela smiled again, eagerly handing me a cup. I thanked her before taking a drink, noting she had made it a bit strong. I kept that in mind, glancing down to Bells, who already had taken a few sips of her own.

"You made it!" I heard a squeel come from behind us, turning to see Jessica there with a drunk smile on her face. "Yay!" She chimed, literally looking like she could fall over any minute, as she hugged Bella and smiled at me. "You're... Jake? Right?" She asked. I nodded in reply to her. "Well nice of you to come. Help yourself to anything..." She said, giggling along the way.

I watched, as her eyes trailed me up and down, twice over. A plain and evident look of lust there. I knew about Jessica well enough from what Bells had told me. She was a trouble maker when she wanted to be. I felt Bella's hand tighten in mine. I gave her a reassuring squeeze in return, intentionally moving her so she was in front of me now, wrapping an arm around her waist, and pulling her back into me. Making a clear, and obvious gesture for Jessica to take note off. She took the hint and moved her attention to Angela, who was next to us, and deeply engaged in a conversation with some tall college guy.

"I'm glad you came!" Jessica chimed to Angela, hugging her now.

"Yea, of course I did! You really outdid yourself, Jess!" She replied, in animated fashion.

"Come with me guys! I have to show you the new car my folks got me today for a college gift!" She laughed, grabbing her by the hand. Angela stopped briefly and glanced back to us.

"Um... I'm good... but Ang... you go..." Bella replied. "I'll stay here."

Angela nodded. "Are you sure...?" She asked her again before going.

"Yea... We'll be here..." Bells replied.

"Okay... I'll be right back." She said, letting Jessica drag her off for the time being.

I just laughed, glancing down to Bella, who had the same amused expression on her beautiful face. "I probably shouldn't have been so forward without checking with you first, but desperate times call for desperate measures Bells." I chuckled along with her. She shook her head and glanced toward the dancing people in the living room.

"It's okay... Really... I mean... Jeez... she was looking at you like... like she wanted to eat you or something." She burst out laughing and leaning into me. I scoffed and took a drink from my red solo cup, agreeing with her.

"Jessica's anything BUT subtle." Bella sighed, regaining her composure from laughing, and staring up at me. "But... I get it..." She said in a softer tone, glancing down to her half empty cup.

"You get what? " I asked, bewildered.

"That she's... drawn to you... I mean...Hell Jake, have you looked in a mirror tonight?" She smiled brightly up at me.

I just scoffed again, taking another drink. "Yea... I'm all set with that."

"Well... Jess is pretty and she's..."

"Not my type... " I interjected, leaning down closer to her, my eyes locking with hers, reading her like an open book. She was fishing, and I knew it. She rolled her eyes and took another drink. I chuckled, glancing over to see Mike Newton watching us with an intense gaze. Bella followed my stare and noticed him. She sighed... "Ugh... Really?"

Mike walked over to us with a few other guys, who looked at Bells a little too intensely for my liking. It wasn't that they looked at her, Fuck... you'd have to be blind not to see her, and notice her beauty... but it was how they looked at her.

I caught their eyes roaming over her, feeling a bit of heat roll up my spine in response. Both of them appeared to be about nineteen, and already in college I'd say. They looked at me, and then quickly averted there eyes. One of them extending a hand to me, as they stopped in front of us. "Hey... I'm Brent, and you are?" He asked. I reached out and took his hand firmly in mine.

"Jacob." I replied. "Nice to meet you." I saw his eyes bug out a bit, glancing down at our hands, clearly taken back at my strenght. I released his hand and felt Bells back herself into me a bit. Clearly nervous.

They were both hammered. Even Mike seemed to be a bit tipsy himself. "Nice to see you again Jake... and Bella... you look... well... gorgeous." He blurted out. No doubt his new found confidence, suddenly developing from the liquid courage he held in his hand. Bella was polite and gave him a small hug, though she pulled back rather quickly.

"You excited to start College, soon?" She asked him.

"Yea.. Well I think my moms more happy about getting me the hell out of her hair for a while. What about you?" He asked with a returning smile for her. "I meean... are you still going to College now... or... I mean... I know before you never really mentioned it. I just assumed you'd be attending a school with Edw..." He stopped short, looking like he was tripping over his own words...

I listened closely, and heard Bella's heart beating rapidly now from the mention of him, struggling to find the words to reply to him. "Um... No... Well... I'm..." She stopped, and I could feel her fear start to consume her. I took her hand in mine, lacing our fingers together, not caring this time who saw, or what the hell Mike Newton would assume of it. I felt her hand shake a bit, and instinctively began caressing it with my thumb. It was a simple gesture, and Mike Newton could take it however the hell he wanted. As long as Bells was okay, I could care less.

Bella took a deep breath and finished what she was saying before. "Yea... I think I will be going to College. I'm... still weighing out my options."

Mike nodded, giving her a genuine smile. "Well whatever you do and wherever you go... you'll do great, Bella... Well I hope to see you around sometime." He said with a wave, as he and the other two took off into the mass crowd of those dancing. I heard Bells breathe out a sigh of relief, watching them leave before turning to face me.

"You okay?" I asked her, looking her in the eyes.

"Yea. Thanks." She said, glancing down to our hands.

"Sure?" I asked again, her heart rythm telling me otherwise.

"I'm with you... so Yea..." She replied, in a low tone. I couldn't help but smile in response to her.

Suddenly, Angela came beeming up to us. "Oh my goodness! That car is insane! She is such a lucky little shit! Hey... come on... Let's go dance!" She said, begging Bella who shook her head, instantly protesting.

"Um..."

"Awe, come on please! I mean... look at you... you're rockin' tonight... let's go groove, baby!" She said, with laughter and pleading in her tone.

Bella glanced up at me with a shrug. "I guess one dance won't hurt."

"Jacob!" I suddenly heard a familiar voice come from behind me, with a hard pat on my shoulder. "What the hell are you doing here, bro?"

I turned to see Jared standing there with Kim. She smiled warmly at me, and clung to him. "Me... what the hell are you doing here?" I asked, shocked to see them.

He glanced down to Kim. "Well... someone here wanted to have a night out, and got an invite from her roomate to come here tonight." He shrugged. "So... of course... I caved."

I nodded and chuckled. Jared loved Kim with all that he was. She was his imprint... his life. He would do anything for her, much like Sam was with Emily... or I was with Bella. So the news of him caving to her came as no surprise to me. Not at all.

Kim reached out her hand. "You're Bella? Bella Swan, right? I remember you from a bonfire a while back? How are you?" She asked, shaking Bella's hand.

Kim was genuinely a nice person. She was much like Emily, just a few years younger.

"I'm good... Thanks..." Bella replied to her with a smile. "This is my friend, Angela." She finished, introducing them now.

Kim shook Angela's hand and smiled, complimenting her on her jacket. Angela genuinely returned the smile, thanking her for the compliment.

"I'm trying to convince Bella to let loose a bit and dance..." Angela hinted, pulling a bit on Bella's arm, as Bella rolled her eyes and laughed.

"Hey come on... we should all go dance..." Kim suddenly piped up, beaming with a smile. Jared and I shared a look, as Kim grabbed them both, dragging them out on the dance flloor... well living room... whatever. Bella reluctantly let go of my hand, as I gave her a reassuring smile, along with a wink. She shook her head with a giggle, and went along with it. They weaved their way through the many people girating on the floor to Rihanna's... "Please don't stop the music." The loud beat playing through the surrounding speakers mounted to the walls. Jared stood beside me, keeping a watchful eye on Kim.

"The shit she gets me into man... I swear... " He laughed, taking a drink from his red solo cup and cussing when he saw it was empty. "Shit... I'm out... refill time for me... you?" He asked. I nodded, absentmindedly handing him my cup, which was really just about empty. I couldn't take my eyes off of Bella. She was intoxicating for me... No alcohol needed. I watched her closely, as she danced with Kim and Angel, laughing and swaying her hips to the beat of the music. Well I'll be damned... my Bells could dance...

It suddenly occurred to me that I had never seen her dance before, and certainly not like this. I surely would have remembered that.

I watched her intensely. Seeing her sway hips and throw her head back in laughter. Her jeans hugging her perfect body in all the right places. I couldn't take my eyes off her if I wanted to. She had me entirely. I was utterly captivated by her.

"Yo... Earth TO JAKE!" I heard Jared yell to me, standing right next to me, holding out my newly refilled beverage. I reached my hand out and took it, without taking my eyes from her. I heard Jared bust out laughing, but I didn't care. I watched her, as she continued to move, slowly biting her bottom lip. She had completely drawn me in. I felt like I was an addict, waiting for another fix.

Jared snapped his fingers in front of me, causing me to literally snap the hell out of whatever spell I was in. I looked over to him and sighed.

"Yea... Yea... Okay... you caught me, Jackass."

Jared just laughed and took a long swig from his drink. "It's insane isn't it?" He asked me.

"What's that." I replied, not following.

"Women... and what they do to you when you love them." He said, shooting me a well knowing glance, before returning his attention back to Kim and her dancing.

"Yea." I replied in a low tone, still staring at Bella, slowly taking a drink from my own cup. I leaned against the wall where we stood, all my attention on her. They all continued to dance through two more songs until Bella looked my way, locking eyes with me momentarily, and smiling. I returned it, seeing her motion for me to come to her. I shook my head. She had no idea what she was doing to me. Not a damn clue. I kept my eyes on her, as she danced through another song, seeming to really enjoy herself with Kim and Angela.

"You gonna tell her?" Jared asked.

I reluctantly tore my eyes from Bella. "Tell her... tell her what?"

"That you want her Jake..." He asked, looking at me... "Still..." He finished, staring back at Kim. "You can't keep that kind of love a secret bud."

I shook my head. Locking my eyes on Bella again before replying. "She knows man... She knows."

"Just... Doesn't make any sense to me, bro... She loves you... it's evident..." He said, clearing his throat.

"Not enough..." I replied, feeling the familair stabbing pain wrap itself securely around my heart at the memory of her telling me so herself.

I heard Jared scoff. "Bullshit."

Bella glanced over to me at the start of another song, mouthing a "Please" To me from across the room. Her eyes blazing through mine. She bit her bottom lip and motioned for me to come to her again with half a smile. I handed Jared my drink before taking off my jacket.

"...Here man." I said to him with a chuckle, knowing I had lost this battle.

He laughed, taking them with a roll of his eyes. "See what I mean, man... crazy..."

I walked over to her and she smiled, realizing she had won. She went to take a drink from her cup, laughing when she noticed it was empty. "Oops..."

I could tell that just the little bit of alcohol she had consumed, had affected her some, already. She was a lightweight. It was cute, really. I took her cup and tossed it into the nearest trash can, as the song played on. She looked up at me with shock. "Nice shot Jake!"

I shrugged with a small laugh, pulling her into me, and moving with her to the beat of the music. Her heartbeat began to race wildly. I saw Angela and kim shoot a glance toward us, both of them with wide smiles on their faces. Jared soon joined kim, and shot me a nod, letting me know he hung up my coat with the others. I nodded back, seeing Angela pair up with a random College guy with dark hair. They laughed and began dancing to the music, as well.

I turned my attention back to Bells, seeing a blush on her cheeks now, as she stared up at me. If we were to follow suite, and dance the way others were, it would surely be crossing a line for us. A line I honestly feared crossing...

We kept rhythm, laughing at some of the others, who were looking more like dancing robots on acid in there drunken state. Angela came over to us and handed Bells another full drink when the song had stopped. I turned and was gonna go talk to Jared, when I suddenly felt Bella take my hand again. I turned back to see her smile, taking a few sips of her drink again.

"Where do you think you're going?" She asked, in a teasing tone. I knew she was feeling way more brazen than normal, and took it in stride, as she moved herself closer to me. "I wasn't done dancing..." She said, wrapping her arms around my neck with a big smile.

"Oh really..." I replied with a chuckle, teasing her right back. She nodded and began to dance with me again, in a much closer fashion. I locked eyes with her before following her lead and moving with her to the beat of the music. We moved well together... very well.

I knew she normally wouldn't have danced this way... especially with me no less. I began to feel a bit guilty, causing me to pull back from her when the second song stopped. She took another drink and smiled. "You can't already be tired... you have wolf stamina remember?" She said, leaning in so close to me that her lips were mere inches from mine. I nodded, feeling her press herself into me again. As much as I wanted to dance with her still, the guilt I felt over somewhat taking advantage of her liquid courage state, made it impossible to do so.

"Bells..." I sighed, looking her in the eyes, and hoping she would understand. Her smile soon faded when she heard my tone.

"I... trust you Jake... " She said softly to me, eyes intensely on mine. "With my life..." She finished with a small shrug. I knew she meant it. Looking in her eyes told me so. All she wanted was to have a good time. I couldn't deny her that... or anything else for that matter.

Another song blarred over the speakers and Bella took my hand, starting to leave the dancing crowd. I stopped her and pulled her back to me for another dance. She beamed up at me, following my lead.

What was supposed to be one more song, turned into three and then four, Before long, Bella was out of breath and equally tipsy. "I need a breather Jake." She said, trying to catch her breath. I nodded, taking her hand in mine, and leading her outside with me. She breathed a sigh of relief once we were out the front door, tilting her head up toward the sky. "Wow..." She sighed, glancing over to me. "I never knew you could dance like that..."

I chuckled..."Well, I'm no Patrick Swayze or anything, but ya know... I'm okay..." I said, teasing her, seeing her laugh along with me.

"We're so good together, Jake." She said. Our laughter fading out. She had no idea what it did to me to hear her say things like that. I knew she meant dancing, but I couldn't help but reply the way I did.

"Yeah, We are Bells..."

She heard the sincere tone in my voice and hugged me. "Thanks for coming with me." She said, as I held her to me. I nodded slowly to her, feeling her pull back and touch my face.

"I'd be lost with you, Jacob..." She whispered, upon releasing me, sincerity in her tone. I knew she meant it, but I also knew she was tipsy, and well aware how most say things they don't always mean when in such a state. She glanced down into her cup and took the last few sips, a devilish grin on her face now. "Refill time!" She beamed, taking my hand again to go back inside.

People were getting to the point of trashed by this time. After all, it was close to eleven at night, and we'd been here most of the evening. Bella filled up a cup for herslf and then offered one to me. She made them just as strong as Angela had, and I mentally noted that this was her third. She took a drink before handing me my own. "You don't seem affected at all, Jake. Wolf stamina really does come in handy, huh?" She said in a low tone, looking around to be sure no one had heard. I couldn't help but laugh in response.

"Yea... that's for damn sure... considering I'm driving!"

She laughed again, leading me over to Kim and Jared, who were in a make out session. Bella stopped and apologized upon seeing them in there current drunk and tangled state. Well Kim was pretty drunk. By the look of him, Jared appeared to only be a bit tipsy.

"NO No... It's okay Bella." Kim said, jumping up from Jared. He pouted at her and she laughed. "Oh stop... don't be so immature, Jared. You can have me later, baby." She assured him, kissing him quickly on the cheek, as he smiled and let her go. Kim looked at Bella and I, noticing our hands laced together, and beamed. "You two look so damn good together, it should be illegal you know..." She said, swaying a bit, only for Jared to wrap a secure arm around her. "You know Bella, he totally loves you..." She said, looking pointedly at her.

I quickly shot Jared a... "Help me please," kind of Look. He simply shrugged, like he didn't know what to do.

"I know he does..." Bella replied, turning half way into me, and leaning against me. I put an arm around her shoulders, feeling my heart warm.

"Hey... Where's Angela?" Kim asked, glancing around. I looked with her but didn't see her.

"I... I don't know... she was here like ten minutes ago. Come on Jake... Lets go find her..." Bella replied. I nodded and we walked around for the next ten minutes looking for her. I finally spotted her over by the television, talking to the same dark haired college guy she had been dancing with most of the night. I pointed to her and Bella's face lit up.

"Phew...she had me scared there for a minute. You just never know what could happen with someone you don't know." She said, glancing down at the floor... "Or... someone... you thought you knew..." She finished so low, that if I didn't have awesome hearing, I would have never heard it. Thanks to the wolf in me, I caught it instantly, and took her face in my hands.

"Hey... Don't do that honey..." I said softly to her, not wanting to slip into her hell, and ruin the night, or what was left of it for her. She nodded quickly before downing the rest of her drink, locking eyes with my own, and throwing the empty cup in the trash.

"You're right Jake... Tonight I'm gonna be happy." She declared, taking me once again by the hand. "Come dance with me... please?" She asked, her tone soft and her eyes pleading with me to make her forget, just for a little while longer.

I thought back to the bruises I had seen and felt the familiar heat weave it's way heavily up my spine. I read her like an open book and nodded, leading her back out to dance. I felt her press herself into me, as our dancing started, continuing on through countless so, watching her closely, making sure she was okay.

She was beyond tipsy now, and teetering on the fine line of drunk. Her body was pressed firmly to mine as the beat went on.

As always with her this close to me, unwelcome thoughts began to trickle into my mind. Ones of me laying her down beneath me, and making love to her the way it should be, with her pressed flush to me. Safe... happy... loved and cherished. Infitely adored...

I closed my eyes, trying to focus and regain control again. I could hear her heart hammering against her chest, as I spun her around so she was facing me, pressing her again to me. Her eyes locked on mine and a shudder coursed through her.

I got lost... entirely lost. With her in my arms, her perfect body close to mine like this, feeling her every damn move and seeing her face flush from dancing, caused me to lose myself in her. I tried to fight it, but I couldn't. As strong as I was... when it came to Bella, and my love for her, I was weak. I lost all track of time, or even where the hell we were, my focus solely on her. I ached for her, longed for her in ways I couldn't even fucking describe. It was like time stood still, and it was just the two of us.

We danced until she could no longer dance. When I sensed her exhaustion I turned her back around and wrapped my arms around her waist, placing my chin on her shoulder and kissing her cheek.

"You okay?" I whispered in her ear. She turned, nodding to me with half a smile.

"Yea..." She sighed, her eyes on mine. She looked beat, literally swaying in my arms, as I held her.

"Why don't we head out?" I asked her.

"Yea. I think that's a good idea. I'll go find Angela." She said, moving away from me a bit. She managed about three steps before swaying again. I caught her and laughed.

"Yea... why don't you let me come with you to get Ang... For your own safety, of course." I teased lightly, wrapping an arm back around her shoulders, as we looked.

Soon enough, Bella spotted Angela and yelled to her. She looked our way, excusing herself from her engaged conversation with the same guy. They must have been really hitting it off by now. Angela was just as tipsy as Bells as this point as she swayed, walking over to us.

"What's up?" She asked us, glancing to Bella.

"Well we're heading. You ready?" Bella asked, looking back to the guy.

Angela shook her head. "No... but... it is late... so I'll get my coat and we'll head." She agreed with a small smile, taking off to look for her jacket, and soon finding it on the back of one of the sectionals they had, now littered with empty red solo cups. I'd hate to be the one who had to clean this up...

She hurriedly said goodbye to her friend, and looked to be exchanging phone numbers with him. Bella glanced up at me through her thick lashes. "I don't need your number..." She teased softly... "I'm going home with you, remember?"

I knew she was just kidding, but Her words sent a thousand sensations and new images coursing through me. Fuck... GET IT TOGETHER JAKE...

Angela soon returned and walked out to my car with us, now ready to leave. I opened the door for them and said goodbye to Jared and Kim. They eagerly waved to us as we left, Bella smiling back at them.

The trip back to Angela's house was full of them giggling together and Angela gushing over her new dark haired, college guy friend. Apparently his name was Evan, and she was already pretty damn smitten with him. I sighed and chuckled to myself, thinking back to what Jared had said to me earlier... "The Shit she gets me into!" Yea... I know the feeling man... I thought and continued on to Drop Angela off.

Bella escorted her to her front door when we arrived, thanking her for the fun evening.

"You're so welcome, Bella! We need to see each other more! Call me next week, maybe we can have lunch or something?" She asked, peering over her glasses.

"Yea... that sounds great Ang. I'll be sure to call you this time. And I'll give these back as soon as I wash them." Bella smiled, gesturing to the clothes and hugging her one more time, before Angela walked toward the house.

"Oh, thanks for the ride Jake! It was nice hanging out with you..." She said , stopping at her front door a moment.

"You too Angela. Hope to see you around, and you're welcome." I replied out the window, with a small wave for her. She smiled at us and slipped inside, closing the door behind her.

Bella hoped in my front seat again, taking my hand in hers. We were maybe five minutes down the road, before she rested her head on my shoulder, and was out like a light. I made it home without waking her up. Her eyes opening when I slipped the car in park.

"Are we already home?" She asked me, sleep heavy in her tone. I couldn't help but grin at her referencing to my home as her home. I got out, retreating over to her side and lifting her up in my arms.

"Come on... let's get you to bed..."

"Jake... you don't have to carry me." She sighed laying her head on my chest, as I fumbled with the house keys to unlock the door, holding her firmly with my other arm.

"I know I don't have to... I want to... Taking care of you is just... what I do Bells..." I said to her sincerely, unlocking the door, and kicking it closed with my foot. I took her in my room and set her on the bed, kneeling down and taking off her shoes for her. She sighed, glancing down at me, a serious expression now on her face, as I paused and looked up at her.

"What? " I asked, a bit stunned by her sudden change of mood.

"Nothing..." She replied quietly, glancing away from me, and looking at her hands now folded in her lap. Her lips may have said nothing, but her eyes had told me there was indeed something.

"Bells... Tell me... " I asked, still knelt in front of her.

"You really do love me... don't you... " She said, slowly turning her gaze back to me. Stating it like it was a fact that she had just come to realize. I kept my eyes on hers, waiting for her to finish, because I could sense there was more she wanted to say... "I mean..." She sighed, shaking her head slowly... "I always knew that you did... But ... being here with you... just reminds me..." She stopped, rasing her hand up to quickly wipe away a few tears that had fallen.

I looked at her intently, knowing that this very well could be a conversation brought on by the alcohol she still had coursing through her system. I slowly got to my feet, and sighed, setting her jacket on my dresser. Her eyes remaining on me, as I did so.

"Bells..." I started..."Honey... you're... tipsy and..."

"So..." She sharply interjected ... "That doesn't mean that I don't mean what I say to you..."

I glanced over to her, moving to sit with her on the bed, and taking her hand in mine.

"No... But it might mean that you say certain things your normally wouldn't... or that you'll regret, Bells." I stated, my tone coming out in a soft, and pleading manor to her. I didn't want her to ever feel that she couldn't tell me what was on her mind, or in her heart, but this was different. I would hate for her to wake up tomorrow morning, and regret what she had said ... or worse... not remember it.

She shook her head in disagreement, taking me by suprise when she suddenly cradled my face in her hands and closed her eyes, leaning her forehead into mine. I closed my own eyes in response, feeling my longing for her return. She stayed silent for a few long seconds, before saying what she wanted to say.

"I ... couldn't stop thinking about you..." She whispered to me, as I opened my eyes, pulling back a bit to look at her. She didn't move her hands from my face, as she opened her own eyes to look in mine. "I kept thinking... I'd never see you again... And I knew... that if I did... when I did... You'd hate me, Jake... We would never be the same ... no more Jake and Bells..." She trailed off.

Just hearing her say it made an instant ache form in my chest, as she continued.

"I couldn't believe that you came..." She breathed to me.

"I had to..." I replied, feeling the familiar lump in my throat return at the mention of it.

"I wasn't ready..." She breathed, in a shaky tone... "I wasn't ready to give everything up... Looking back now, and thinking of all I was willing to sacrafice for him... for that life..." She shuddered, slowly lowering her hands, and placing them in her lap... "And you... came for me... to see me anyway..." She stopped, and I saw her tears return... "I deserve it you know."

I lifted her chin to make eye contact with her again. "Don't say that Bella... You didn't deserve what he did to you..." I said, my tone clipped, revealing my anger for that leech. She shrugged in reply.

"I just never thought..." She trailed off when I took her hand back in mine, lacing our fingers together. "You're like... my safe haven, Jake..." She sighed, leaning over and placing her head on my shoulder. I closed my eyes, and thought of how I wanted nothing more than to protect her forever. Call me crazy, but love makes you crazy like that.

It's not supposed to be like that... you know? It's so hard not being able to tell Charlie or Angela the truth about what happened. When they ask me I just say... 'it wasn't meant to be'... or ...'It just didn't work out, and I wasn't ready to be married'... Which in a way is the truth."

"What is..." I whispered to her, leaning my head down close to her, and wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

"That I wasn't ... ready..." She sighed.

I couldn't believe I was hearing her right. Did she know what she was saying, or was it the alcohal? I questioned her. "You... weren't?"

She lifted her head, hearing the question in my voice, and looking up at me. "No... I wasn't. I never really wanted to get married... He did though... Truth is... We made an agreement... a compromise of sorts. I wanted more from him... and he only agreed to try if we were married first, so after months of protesting, and him trying to convince me... I finally caved and agreed. It was selfish and careless of me." She said, getting to her feet and walking over by my window, where she stared out into the darkness.

Her words struck me hard, weighing heavily on me. She wasn't ready when she married him... Something I knew all along.

"More?" I reluctantly asked her, although I knew what she meant. She nodded, looking ashamed of herself with a small shrug, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"I felt... unwanted... in that way with him... because of the rules he set. I knew they were there for my protection, but it didn't make the rejection any easier." She softly admitted.

How in the hell could she feel unwanted? For shit's sake... I shook my head. She had to know how damn beautiful she was, inside and out.

She glanced over to me... "In the end... turns out 'more,' was way more than what I thought it would be." She said, in a shaky tone, a shudder hitting her again at the memory. I got up from the bed and went to her, taking her in my arms and wishing for what seemed like the hundredth time that I could just take it all away from her. A wish I knew would never come true. I hated the fact that I couldn't go back in time, and change what he had done to her.

I pulled back a bit, kissing her on the forehead, cradling her beautiful face in my hands. She placed her hands on my chest and grew silent, several minutes passing by before she spoke again.

"I thought he'd kill me... right there... on that Island." She said softly, glancing up at me. "When he ... stopped... I felt so cold... to the bone. Like I would never be warm again... and then... I thought of you...of what you said. That you would fight for me until my heart stopped beating...-"

A loud banging came suddenly to my front door, stopping Bella mid thought. She jumped, glancing quickly up to me, fear in her eyes, as they met my own. I took her hand in mine, rushing out with her to answer the door. The urgent banging came again. It was loud, persistent and frantic.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight Saga Series. Any and all recognizable characters are the sole property of Stephanie Meyer.

**A/N: This chapter will be noticeably shorter, but I promise to make up for that next chapter. As always, thanks so much for the reviews. You guys are the best! I love reading each of them. Enjoy! :)**

**CHAPTER 10**

(JACOBS POV Continued...)

I threw open the front door to see Embry there. He was out of breath and soaked from the rain.

"Sam needs you... NOW." He yelled. The look on his face telling me how serious he was, as he suddenly glanced to Bella who was next to me, instant worry crossing his features.

"What is it?" I asked, stepping forward to him, tense already.

Embry shook his head, and glanced back towards the woods, looking to be searching for something. Of what, I was not sure.

"Embry!" I yelled, growing damn impatient and on edge. "Tell me!"

He turned back around quickly, seeming to hesitate a bit before spilling everything to me. "Its... Edward... He's lost it... Sam caught a whiff of him on patrol an hour ago, and chased him off our land again. He almost had him, but he wasn't alone... Jasper is with him again..." He trailed off when he saw Bella press herself into me.

"What do you mean... He's lost it?! What the hell are you talking about, bro?" I asked, through clenched teeth, my tone clipped, because I knew he was only telling me half the fucking story here.

Embry shook his head. "He's... Red eyed!" He yelled, exasperated, eyes locking on mine. "And he's... gone fucking bat shit crazy. Jasper has been trying to catch him, but he can't. He's wild, Jake!" He exclaimed, looking back toward the dark forest.

I felt Bella shake beside me, her breathing now becoming gasps, as she moved herself back away from the door. Her eyes wide with fear. "No... No... It can't be..." She gasped.

I felt her fear wash over me, as I pulled her back into me, holding her securely there. Intense scorching heat, now blazed it's way up my spine at Embry's words. Tremors began to hit me. I tried like hell to focus on what he had just said.

"Jake... He's coming for her..." Embry said, suddenly whirling back around, his eyes dead set on my own, and his tone thick with concern for Bella. My tremors, now threatening to devour me.

I stepped out into the rain, keeping my hand in Bella's, seeing Paul suddenly burst through the tree line in wolf form. He whined uneasily, pacing back and forth in front of us, lifting his head and staring straight at me, as he huffed repeatedly. Embry ran full speed toward him, phasing mid run and landing on all fours. They both turned back toward the tree line, taking a guarded stance there.

He was coming for Bella... My Bells...

I tore my eyes away from them and took Bella in my arms. "He's not gonna touch you... not ever..." I swore to her. My anger for Edward starting to swallow me whole.

I reluctantly pulled back from her, cradling her face, her eyes wide with panic and fixed on my front door. "Bella..." I said to her, seeing her tears well up and spill over. It killed me to see her like that.

"Look at me Bells..." I breathed to her, seeing her eyes flashed to mine, desperately searching them with her own. Another tremor rocking through my body. "Please stay here, honey."

She looked panicked, upon seeing me start to strip off my shirt. "Jake! You can't fight him!"... She said, shaking ... "He... He could kill you... I can't lose you..." Her tone desperate, and her whole body trembling with fear, nearly falling to her knees in front of me.

I reached for her, locking eyes with her once more. "I won't let him hurt you, Bella. Not ever again. Stay here, honey." I asked of her, kissing her on the forehead, and sprinting outside to Paul and Embry.

I phased midair, as soon as I caught a whiff of Edward, landing on all fours, and looking around closely at the border of the tree's. My eyes darting in ever which direction, just waiting for him to show his face.

"Where the fuck is he." I roared to them, our minds linking together, and becoming one.

"He's close... Sam is hot on his heels." Paul snarled in reply. His eyes scanning the trees along with mine. "Stupid fucking leech."

Sam's thoughts suddenly came barreling into us. "HE'S ON OUR LAND. HE'S HEADED STRAIGHT FOR YOU, JAKE. HE WANTS HER... HE WANTS BELLA." He roared angrily to us.

Furious snarls ripped their way through me, as his thoughts were now my own.

Paul shook his head violently and shot me a look. "He'll have to kill us all first."

I glanced back toward the house, listening closely to Bella's pounding heart. If he thought he was gonna hurt her again, he was sorrily fucking mistaken... I'd die first.

Embry snarled, his ears laying back fully. His eyes fixed on one point of the tree line.

"Jake..." He cautioned, with a nod of his head. I followed his gaze, my eyes now locked there. Paul Roared and laid his head down close to the ground, snarls echoing from him off the tree's around us.

Sam and Edward suddenly burst through the tree line in a fight to the death. Edward attempted to grab Sam from behind, to crush him. Paul lurched forward instantly and knocked him away from him. Sam struggled a bit, but got back on his feet within seconds. Paul roared again and circled Edward, whose eyes were now as red as the blood in my very veins. A heat, like no other, now surged through me, ceasing all else within me, and leaving nothing but fury in it's wake. I let out an enraged snarl and took a stance in front of Embry, who was huffing profusely and following Edwards every move.

Jasper flew out of the tree's and landed swiflty in front of Edward. His golden eyes fiercely on Sam... "You cannot harm him..." He hissed loudly.

Sam lunged forward, growing a bit in stature before our very eyes. "I WARNED HIM TO STAY THE HELL OFF OUR LAND. HE HAD HIS DAMN CHANCE!" He raged.

Jasper hissed furiously in reply... "No!"

Leah, Seth, Jared, Colin, Brady, and Quil all came barelling out of the forest now. Leah running instantly toward my front door, taking a protective stance in front of it. I looked over to her and she nodded to me, as thoughts of Bella, and her fear played out in my head for her to see. She bared her teeth, laying her ears back, fixing her dark eyes on Edward.

"I'll rip him apart first." She spat to us.

Embry guarded Sam, as he phased back into human form, slipping on his cut offs so he could effectively communicate with Jasper.

Paul snapped his teeth at Jasper in warning, as Embry circled him. I snarled, seeing Edwards crimson red eyes meet mine. The heat rolling through me was all consuming, all powering. My inner wolf raging and threatened.

"His eyes are red. He's bitten a human, and THAT BREAKS THE DAMN TREATY!" Sam angrily yelled to Jasper, who was now crouched protectively in front of Edward.

"Let me take him back to Denali and we will leave Bella be." Jasper stated.

I scoffed in my head, and furiously roared aloud, baring my teeth to Edward. "FUCKING BULLSHIT! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU PROMISED THAT!"

My patience was all but spent with this shit. I was teetering the fine line of disobeying Sam's order and taking control of the situation myself.

Edward's head suddenly snapped up, his bright crimson eyes locking on Leah. A crazed look possessing him. I ran instantly to Leah, placing myself in front of her. My teeth bared, snarls rocking through me to him.

"I know she's here mutt!" Edward menacingly hissed to me. His red eyes on mine.

"Leave her the hell alone." I spat back viciously, knowing full well he could hear me.

Edward lurched forward, getting right in my face. "SHE IS NOT YOURS!" He raged, in a loud hiss.

"SHE'LL NEVER BE YOURS AGAIN." I raged back, knocking into him. He landed a powerful hit to my side, as I pinned him beneath my paws. I was fucking beyond pissed, and ready to end him. Sam ran over to us, phasing back mid stride and landing on all fours next to us. He grabbed Edward by the shoulder and yanked him back, as I moved off of him, my eyes on his every damn twitch.

"I should kill you all... I think I'll start with you!" He furiously hissed, looking to me. I huffed viciously in reply, baring my razor sharp teeth at him, more than ready to step up to his challenge,

"Come on you fucking parasite..." I spat back angrily in reply, my eyes set on his, egging him on. I wanted this... I craved to rip him the hell apart for what he'd done to Bella. For what he ripped from her. Her very innocence, he'd stolen, left her shattered twice now. Thick fury washed over me, practically drowning me in it, as his lips peeled over his venom soaked fangs, hissing wildly at me.

Sam suddenly stepped in front of me. Snarling with every step that Edward took.

Jasper darted around Embry and was by Edwards side immediately. "You know what we'll do to you if you kill Edward..." He stated coldly, looking to me. I snapped my teeth at him in response. Sam's thoughts running wild to me...

"Jacob... They will come after her if we kill him now ... all of them... maybe even the Volturi..."

I roared in fury at just the damn thought. Like hell would I let them hurt her again... not ever. She'd suffered more than enough.

Edward snapped his head up to me. His eyes a crimson shade that made my very skin crawl.

"I will have what is mine mutt... no matter what... And Bella IS MINE." He seethed, before Jasper grabbed ahold of him, and drug him back towards the woods. He fought him every step of the way, and I almost hoped he would break free and come at me. I wanted to end his miserable existance. We all watched them intensely, as they took off again. Paul cussed wildly when they were no longer near.

Leah paced back and forth in front of the door. Her eyes looking to where they had vanished. "Sam you know damn well they'll come back. What the hell are we waiting for? For shit's sake?" She fumed. Her frustration evident and now matching my own.

"When we kill him... They will all come for us... they will reek havoc on our land our people... our family and loved ones... and... Bella... Is that a risk we're willing to take? I have to do what's best for our people first!" Sam yelled, nodding to me, as he finished. I snarled and turned to phase back.

I had shredded my jeans in the process of phasing. Too fucking pissed at the time to give a shit, but I needed them now. Paul heard my thoughts and looked to sam, who phased back to human form, slipping on his cut offs and running into my house to get me some shorts. He was back in a few short seconds and tossed them to me. I slipped them on, running up over the steps, and in through front my door.

Bella was at the kitchen table. Her head lifting the moment she heard me.

"Jake!" She breathed, running to me, and throwing herself in my arms. I caught her easily and held her tightly to me, feeling her heart still beating away in her chest like a humming birds wings.

"Are you okay?" I whispered to her, feeling her nod, as she pulled back, still securely in my arms.

"Are you?" She asked, her eyes roaming over my face. I nodded to her, seeing the genuine relief there, before placing her back on her feet.

"Is... Is he?" She asked me, nervously.

"No..." I spat in reply. Hating that he was still out there trying to get to her.

"Wh... What... He's never going to stop... " She breathed in fear to me, shaking her head with emotion strong in her tone,

"And I'll never stop protecting you Bells... " I told her, eyes looking deeply into her own.

Sam stepped in through my open front door, his forehead creased with worry still.

"Jake... we'll be out on guard tonight. We'll signal if anything comes up." He stated, turning to walk outside again. Bella ran after him.

"Sam wait!" She called out. He stopped on my steps, turning back to look at her. "Thank you."

Sam glanced back to me and then to her, his eyes sincere when he spoke. "You're family Bella... and we protect our family, always. No matter what." He stated firmly to her, patting her on the shoulder, before running back out into the dark night.

"I'm ... family?..." She said to herself, slowly turning to face me.

"You're my family..." I replied to her with genuine sincerity. She hugged me then, softly kissing me on the cheek, and glancing nervously toward the door.

"He'll come back..." She whispered, eyes transfixed there with dread.

I turned her away from the door, and moved closer to her. "You know I would do anything for you, right? He's not gonna hurt you Bella... I won't ever let that happen. Never again." I promised her, and I meant it. Every damn word of it. I'd keep this promise to her. No matter what price that came at. She stared up into my eyes, hesitantly nodding to me after a few long seconds.

My dad came home soon after. He looked at us upon closing the door, and worry crossed his face.

"Son... what's going on?" He asked, glancing between the two of us. The look of worry soon was replaced with anger. "Did he come back here... again?" He asked, slamming his fist down on the table.

I nodded. "Yea... Red eyes and all."

My father drew in a sharp breath upon hearing this.

"What?" He asked. "He's killed a human!" He raged, causing Bella to startle a bit. My father saw her reaction, and quickly toned his temper down for her sake. "I'm sorry Bella." He said to her, before turning himself around, and heading down the hall to his room without another word. He slammed the door shut and left it at that.

Bella sighed and glanced up at me with concern for him.

"He'll be okay... Just needs to cool off is all... your safety means the world to him, too." I explained.

She nodded in understanding to me, her eyes still searching my own. "I'm... tired..."

"Come on." I replied, taking her by the hand to my room. She sat down on my bed, pulling her knees into her chest and staring numbly ahead of her. "What about Charlie?" She asked, suddenly frantic. "What if he goes there for him... he... he could kill him to get back at me for leaving him... He... he's bit a human..." She shook, Placing her head in her hands.

I got on the bed with her, sitting there behind her, as I pulled her slowly back into me, and wrapped my arms securely around her.

"We have your house surrounded, too honey... He won't get near you or charlie..." I said, reassuring her the best I could.

She stayed silent after that, leaning her head back into me. I ran my fingers through her hair till I felt her body relax, as she drifted off to sleep in my arms. She was beyond exhausted.

Everything in me wanted to keep her safe from this. Things had changed so much these past few weeks. I found myself struggling to process it all, as I held her and let my mind run wild. Edwards crimson red eyes were burning a hole in my memory. He looked crazed... posessed even. I instinctively tightened my arms around Bella.

I loved her endlessly... Infinitely. She was where my world ended and began again. She was who my soul cried out for... Who my heart treasured most. The one who my very being did not feel complete without. The only one who fit me perfectly.

She was who my arms were made to hold. She was the only one who could read me like an open book... Who could know what I was feeling, or thinking, without words ever needing to be spoken. She brought out the very best in me, without her, I didn't work right. My life didn't make sense if she wasn't right there beside me. Two halves of a whole... A single soul dwelling in two bodies... My everything.

I'd protect her ... Or I'd die trying.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Thanks for being patient guys! And a huge thanks to anyone who read or reviewed my story! You all are awesome!**

_Disclaimer: I do NOT own and of the Twilight Saga Series. Any and all recognizable content/characters are the sole property of the great Stephanie Meyer. She owns all._

BELLA'S P.O.V.

So much had happened since I had first returned home. Too much ...

I felt entirely numb most days. My mind would run in replay mode constantly. Making my hell a more reality for me then I cared for. I couldn't seem to make the flashbacks stop. They would come and go so unexpectedly, each one leaving me on the verge of a panic attack. My body constantly being in flight or fight mode. It was exhausting for me to keep up with. I tried to focus on other things whenever it would happen, so that my fear and anxiety wouldn't succeed in devouring me. If not for myself... for Jacob.

I hated that he was seeing me at my worst lately. I would be fine one moment, only to fall the hell apart the next. I tried to get a handle on my emotions, but couldn't seem to control them. I knew I needed to figure out a way to deal with what had happened. Not being able to talk about it with anyone, and really tell them what happened, besides Jake of course, made healing for me all that much harder. I couldn't very well go to a shrink, she would surely send me to the psych ward if I told her the supernatural that surrounded me on a daily basis.

Jacob knew me well enough to know when I needed to talk about it and when I just wanted to leave it alone. He would sense it without me even needing to explain. Despite all I had put him through, his love for me was still strong, and unwavering. I was in awe, marveling at how big his heart really was.

At first, I was terrified that he would never care for me the way he once had. He had every damn right to turn his back on me, if he so chose to. My selfish choices and rash decision making, had hurt him terribly. I was beyond thankful for his understanding and his forgiveness towards me, in spite of it all, not to mention the grace he had shown me lately. But with my thankfulness, came a heavy dose of guilt as well. I couldn't help but ask myself daily... "What the hell were you thinking?"...

I had been spending every free moment I had with Jacob. He made me feel so safe and warm... better.

I took shelter in his comfort, relishing in it. He had truly become my shelter from the storm, despite my subconscious nagging at me every few days, for over staying my welcome. But Billy had assured me that I was always welcome there. He was someone else who had been beyond gracious, and caring through this. Like father... Like son.

It seemed like no matter what I did, I couldn't escape my poor choices from the past. It wasn't that I felt my entire relationship had been a lie with Edward, it was more that I had immense regret now. Slowly as the days went on, I began to try and forgive him. Not just for him, but for myself. I couldn't very well hold it against him for giving me what I had been asking him for. I had wanted to become one with him for so long, tie myself to him in every humanly way possible until I was changed into what he was, and we would be forever. My eternity would be with him.

Though, I never shared with anyone the strong doubt I had prior to the wedding, I think my father had a sense of where my head was all along. Charlie was a man of few words, but he was wise nonetheless.

Looking back now, I knew deep down, that I wasn't being honest with myself about marrying Edward. It was something I wasn't able to fully admit to myself, or anyone else for that matter. If I was being honest with myself now... I had rushed into it, for fear of losing Edward forever if I didn't. I had allowed my own insecurities of abandonment with Edward, push me into marrying him when I wasn't ready . A choice I had made without being prepared for the sacrifices that came along with it, selfishly placing my own needs before those who cared for me most. The ones who would pay the ultimate price for it... losing me forever.

Pain would hit me, as I reflected back on this. Imagining how distraught Charlie and Renee would be. How shattered that would leave Jacob ...

I had been prepared to leave things so messy and unfinished with him, severing ties with him with such brutal finality, that it would have left us both wounded. Taking a huge piece of each other away, and naively believing the pain from it, would just disappear. It was immature to say at best.

I knew that apart of me would have always wondered the obvious... "What might have been?"

Even if Edward had changed me, and things had gone much differently, a part of me would have belonged to Jacob for years... decades... centuries even. Down the road, it would have plagued me to never know what we could have shared. To have made such a permanent decision, based on my temporary fear of abandonment, was so very selfish of me. I didn't take the time to stop and truly consider what that would have done to Jacob... To Billy... To Charlie and Renee... or to myself.

When Edward had left me before, I allowed my grief to consume me for months. I was determined not to allow that this time. Determined to overcome this, no matter how long it took, or the set backs I would inevitably face along the way. I had learned, back then, how very fragile and frail the human heart can be. The insanity of loving someone so much, and with that love, you now gave them permission to break you beyond repair. To take the fragile heart, that you have placed in their very hands, and hope they cherished it enough not to break it.

Even now, I was not so blind, nor completely ignorant, to not know the permanent damage I had caused Edward. Despite what happened, and despite my fear of him because of it, I still wished for him to find his eternal happiness elsewhere. Wherever that may be. I had a hard time even thinking about him, or his name without internally cringing. The truth was, I held no ill will against him. No feelings of utter hatred, or wishing him harm. Jacob however, did not share this sentiment, but then again, I had never expected him to.

They say everything happens for a reason. This was something that Renee had always lived by, and it stuck with me now.

While the majority of my nights were sleepless at first, I had been sleeping better, as of recently. Something I owed all to Jacob. For more times then I could count, he would pull me out of that hell and into his warmth, guiding my direction when I was surrounded by the dark and the fear. His mere closeness, erasing my fear for me. My nightmares seemed to leave me alone when he was near and for that, I was beyond grateful.

I knew how weak that made me, and while Jake would always be there for me, I swore to myself that I was not going to let this completely crush me. I knew it would take some time but I had to find a way, within myself, to move on. I was done making those kind of selfish, thoughtless choices. Some of my previous ones would follow me to the end of time. Like the Volturi, and the promise made to them that now couldn't be kept. I was not ignorant enough to think that they would simply move on and forget about me. That fact that I was no longer with Edward, changed nothing for them. My time was being watched and they were waiting. The loud ticking of the second hand clock, that was my life, now a constant sound in the back of my mind. Never ceasing to fail at reminding me what I would eventually face. I tried to not voice this to Jacob out loud, knowing the anger at them would resurface each and every time I spoke of it.

So when the opportunity arose, I was more than eager to see Angela and reconnect with her. It was a nice change. A welcomed change.

I had such a great time catching up with her and attending the party. We had spent much of the afternoon just talking. She filled me in on her upcoming College plans and then asked me a million questions that I dreaded to answer. She, of course, wanted to know about what had happened between Edward and I, and why things had ended with us so suddenly, especially when he had just tied the knot!

She was shocked to see me with Jacob when he dropped me off. Her first words once we sat down at her kitchen table with some tea were... "I knew it! Bella... I knew you had feelings for Jake... There's always been something there... You love him don't you?" She beamed. I sighed and just shook my head. Her words resinating with me a bit... love him... Yea... I did. In more ways than I ever should.

After all, to know Jacob was to love him. He drew you in like a magnet and made it nearly impossible to ever leave him. His heart stayed close to mine, even when we were apart, I always felt that he was still there with me. I pondered this, as Angelaa went on telling me about her recent adventures and then she asked me more questions about myself, what my plans were for the future and so on.

I filled Angela in the best I could, without telling her too much for obvious reasons. She simply would nod in understanding and commented on how she felt I was rushing into marrying Edward to begin with. Her words were... "You're only 18 and I mean that's fast to get married to someone! Besides..." She said, peering at me over her glasses..."There's so much left that's unfinished with you and Jacob... " She hinted to me with a small nudge of her arm.

Angela had always been a fan of Jake. I knew she was left in the dark about what had really happened between Edward and I. The truth was... I couldn't even see Jake without his shirt on without feeling extremely uneaasy around him. It bothered me, because I felt as if I was now punishing him for something he hadn't done... something he would never do.

When I agreed to go to the party with Angela that night, I was so nervous that I almost backed out entirely. If it hadn't been for Jacob agreeing to go with me, I most certainly would have. Just the thought of a bunch of horny, drunk ass college guys with a one track mind, made me sick to my stomach and sent a bunch of nerves rushing through me. I was thrilled when Jake had heard my uneasiness over the phone and offered to go. ''

He was so good to me, and it reminded me daily of how stupid I had been to push him away like that. Knowing damn well that I had true feelings for him, but deciding to push them aside and go along with my wedding to Edward anyway. Naively thinking I could shove them into some drawer and they would just disappear.

I had spent so much time trying to convince myself in the weeks leading up to the wedding, that the feelings would eventually fade. That time would heal this hurt. All it took was seeing him for the first time in weeks at my reception to bring a rush of emotions back to me. I can still see his radiant white smile when he held his arms out to catch me as I ran to him, wedding dress and all.

I was so elated to finally see him again, that I couldn't stop myself from beaming and running to him, throwing myself into his strong arms. Looking back on it now, I wished more than anything that I could go back. I would change so much.

Angela had been nice enough to let me borrow a few of her clothes for the party. She insisted we go and have a good time. I did truly have fun, Even though I has one drink too many. Angela made them pretty strong and with me being such a lightweight, I should have just stuck to two.

Jacob looked amazing, and I found myself having a hard time not to just stare at him. He had been so great with me at the party. Even when Jessica tried to... "take him in her eyes..." he was a pro at making her get the hint. I couldn't help but laugh. She had looked him over like a piece of meat, and I had no doubt that if he had ever given into her, that's exactly what she would use him for. A one night stand, or a hook up buddy. Both of which sure as hell didn't settle well with me. Jacob was more than just a great body and a handsome face. His heart deserved an award all on it's own. He had the biggest heart I knew and I loved him all the more for it.

I should have known better then to have ever agreed to go dance with Angela. What the hell was I thinking? Oh... thats right... I wasn't. I was tipsy thinking.

I had never been a great dancer to begin with, but I didn't mind it. The alcohol had worked wonders on eliminating my nerves for me, as we grooved with everyone else. I had thought about asking Jacob to dance with me, but then decided against it, only to soon change my mind and coax him to join me. I was shocked at how well we moved together. Especially my normal lack of grace and all, but Jacob seemed to know how to lead. Some of our dancing was well... dirty. But I trusted Jacob with all that I was.

My heart was hammering in my chest the entire time with his body so close to mine. The heat radiating off him in waves and making my mind go places it shouldn't. Everytime It would go there... my memories of Edward and our so called honeymoon would creep in, making me sick to my stomach, and setting off a partial anxiety attack in the process.

My only other little bump in the road at the party had been Mike Newton. His questions on whether Edward and I were attending College together, had thrown me back a bit. I felt such a sense of anxiety, I could hardly talk at all, let alone find the right words. When Jacobs hand found mine, my anxiety ebbed away. He always had that affect on me. One minute I would be on the verge of a panic attack, and all he'd have to do is touch me and I'd instantly relax.

We had been through so much together in the past few weeks, that my mind struggled keep up. Jacob had been holding me together, once again, taking the shattered pieces of me and slowly putting me back together. How many times had he fixed me, and I was stupid enough to throw him away? I tried to keep myself together the best I could whenever possible. A lot of the time I would fail. Jacob would see right through me if I wasn't okay. I couldn't keep anything from him. He knew me better than I knew myself sometimes. If I was being truthful, my breakdown in his bathroom wasn't something I was proud of. In fact, I was humiliated. I had lost it entirely in front of him. My fear consuming me in that moment, as I stared at myself in the mirror, seeing the marks Edward had left on me and cringing at the memories it brought along with it.

I had been avoiding the mirror when undressed for days prior, because I knew better. But that morning I had decided to take a look, and face my fear head on. I tried to stop the horror that hit me, as I looked at my bruised reflection. The handprint bruises on my hips were still angry looking. I shook, as I thought of his ice cold hands holding me firmly in place while he thrusted into me, over and over, each one making me scream out in agonizing pain. My body still being sore in some places. I felt dirty all over again upon seeing my horrid reflection. My head spun, as I gripped the edge of the sink for support.

That's when I heard it... Jacob's soft knock on the bathroom door. I closed my eyes then, knowing he would hear in an instant that something was wrong with me. I tried to clear my throat and give him a convincing answer when he asked me if I was okay, but I misserably failed at that. He knew me too well to believe my lie.

When he came in, I still couldn't take my eyes off of my reflection. They were fixed there. I could feel Edwards vice like grip on me, as I stared blankly into the mirror before me. My heart was racing and my tears were now coming in an endlesss supply. Jacob knew that I neeeded him and was there for me without question, pulling me to him. His warmth enveloping me again, ripping me away from my hell. It broke me out of the memory and pulled me into him, into his love, into his warmth.

I tried to stop the sobs thats consumed me, but with Jacob, it was nealry impossible. He had a way of making me feel so safe, that it allowed me fall apart when I needed to. Thought I hated to have him see me like that, and hated to be so vunerable, I was ever so grateful for Jacob's love. The moment we shared together in the bathroom had taken me by surprise. I was so drawn to him in that moment, that I couldn't stop myself from wanting his lips to touch mine.

I knew it was too fast for either one of us. I knew that he would be guarded with me and he had every damn right to be. I was the one who broke his heart. I'd be guarded with me. too. There was something in the way he held me that drew me to him. I felt so much fear that I craved to be safe. I craved his warmth to envelope me again. When my lips brushed his, my heart nearly stopped and I felt his breathing hitch in response. I wanted to feel his lips move against mine. I slowly felt his guard come down, as he melted into the kiss. It wasn't long though before I felt his resistance.

I slowly stopped and knew he was having a hard time. I knew we both needed some time to process all this. So it had been good to take some time for myself and go back home to Charlies. My thoughts going right back to the kiss Jake and I had just shared when I arrived back home. I felt at ease and conflicted at the same time. My thoughts weighing heavily on me, as I put some things away in my room and did a little housework for Charlie in an attempt to stay busy.

I just couldn't believe I had let myself think I could be with Edward physically while I was still human. I felt that I fully deserved what happened to me. I had brought it on myself. Jacob however, fully protested. We would probably never agree on it. He would always feel that Edward should have known better, despite what I had been asking him for.

Jacob claimed adamantly, that you never hurt the one you love, no matter what they ask for. He truly believed that was not how true love worked and I believed him. I couldn't help but think if the roles had been reversed somehow, and it were Jacob, I knew him well enough to know that he would deny me what I wanted and not take the risk. Even if it killed him to do so. He had tried to push me away when he first joined the pack. I didn't understand then what he truly was, but now, I understand why he tried to leave our friendship. He was terrified of hurting me the way Sam had lost his temper with Emily that one time. That one small fight had changed her life forever. That fear gripped Jake hard back then, and even now, he would step away from me if he was losing his cool, or close to phasing. Sometimes I would notice how his tremors would subside when I made contact somehow with him, whether it be taking his hand or hugging him. I wasn't sure if It was my affect on him, or his control with me so close for fear of hurting me. We seemed to balance each other out in a lot of ways, something I had taken notice of a lot more lately.

When most of the housework was done I got started on putting my clothes away from the overdue load of laundy. Charlie had been working extra shifts lately and barely had time to catch up on it, so I took care of it for him. I was putting away my jeans when I heard snarling coming from outside. I froze and slowly rose to my feet, feeling my heart lurch itself into my throat, as I cautiously approached the window that was open a bit. I stopped in my tracks when I saw Sam and Paul now circling a hissing Edward and Jasper.

I felt the room spin around me, as I gasped and began to shake. "No..." I breathed, moving backwards until I felt my legs hit the bed, sinking down there. My head still whirling, my heart hammering and my body shaking. I tried desperately to control my breathing as immense fear gripped me hard. Edwards angry hissing now surrounded me. My head filling with the images of him above me, his eyes jet black, his granite stone body pressing me into the matress. His thrusting brutal and relentless. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't move, as I ran my hands through my hair and tried to stop them from trembling.

I could hear Paul's roar echo off the trees outside. All the love I had for Edward was now replaced with choking fear. I would never be able to forget what had happened. Every part of me felt dirty just knowing he was so close. I tried to pull myself together, but as the tears came and spilled over, I knew I was losing myself in this hell again and I hated my weakness for it. I glanced over to my computer desk, locking eyes on the picture of Jake there, staring at it, and clinging to his smile, trying to stop the fear. My hand touched my wrist and my fingers felt the wolf charm.

I heard the snarls grow louder from outside as I placed my head in my hands, taking a few deep breaths, before suddenly heard movement in my room. Fear overtook me, as I lifted my head again to see Jake there. His eyes met mine and a wash of calm coursed through me.

He didn't speak before coming to me and taking my hands in his, lifting me to my feet and scoooping me up in his arms. I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face there. His scent a comfort all on it's own. I felt him tighten his grip on me, as he moved quickly down the stairs and out the front door. A gush of cold air hit me as we left the house. Jacob leaned his head down, bringing his face close to mine for a moment, before he abruptly stopping.

I felt the small tremors start and roll through him. I didn't want him to let me go. I could hear Edward hiss and my fear grabbed me by the throat, feeling Jacob move back, pressing me tightly to him.

"Don't..." I heard him say through cleched teeth with evident anger in his tone. I cringed and knew Edward was trying to get to me. A shudder went through me, and I let out a small gasp into Jake's neck.

"You cannot keep her from me!" I heard Edward hiss frantically. I shook at his very words. My whole body becoming a trembling mess.

"I have you..." Jacob breathed to me. His tone warm and wrapping me up in him. I savored it, basking in the comfort it provided me. I could feel him trying like hell to keep the tremors at bay for me. With Edward so close, I knew what a struggle that must be for him. Heat poured from him as he fought his inner wolf. I did the only thing I could in the moment to help him. I nestled my face even closer to his neck, and pressed my lips there once. It was a simple gesture. I knew what a struggle this would be for him. He took a deep breath and I felt the tremors subside some. I kept my face close to his neck, feeling the heat still pouring from him, as Edward continued hissing furioulsy at Sam.

The hardest thing for me to accept now was how terrifed I had become of Edward. The man I once thought I would spend eternity with. Give up anyone and everything for. The thought now sent shudders through me. How could I have been so willing to give up my mom, and Phil and Charlie... And Jacob. My sun... My warmth... My safe harbor... My best friend. To give him up now seemed impossible for me to even comprehend, let alone do. He was so much apart of me, apart of my very being, that I felt a small lump grow in my throat at just the thought of never seeing him again. Tears would cloud my vision at the mere thought. I had been willing to make him my enemy. I would have never been able to feel his arms around me, or hear his warm and hearty laugh that I loved so damn much. Or witness his eyes light up whenever I'd come to see him. All of that would be gone forever, and I had been so consumed with my love for Edward that I had allowed it. I swallowed hard and pushed the thoughts out of my head. For I knew that dwelling on it would do me no good.

After going through all that, needless to say, It was a nice change to go to the party with Angela. To loosen up some. It was a nice distraction and a good change of pace for me. With everything that had happened lately, I needed a distraction.

I got to talk to some old friends a bit and even got to know Jared's girlfriend, kim Better. She was sweet. A little trashed at the party, but genuinely sweet nonetheless. I felt safer with Jacob there, and really tried to enjoy myself. Things had gone so well. I was a bit sad to see the night come to an end, getting in Jake's car with Angela, and waving goodbye to Jared and Kim as they left the party, too. I felt happier then I had in days.

Angela talked my ear off while we drove her home. She had met a good guy at the party. She told me his name was Evan and he was studying to be an english major at Forks University. She gushed to me all about how much she liked him until we were at her house again. We jumped out and quickly said our godbyes to one another. I promised her we would do lunch real soon and that I would keep in touch with her a lot more often than lately. I told her I would wash and return her clothes, and thanked her again for the great time. She smiled and waved to us as we left. She even thanked Jacob for the ride. Stating that she had enjoyed his company.

Jake and I were no more than ten minutes or so down the road, before I felt my eyes get heavy. I laid my head on his shoulder, feeling his fingers lace with mine, as I drifted off to sleep for the remainder of the drive home.

I soon felt the car stop and slowly opened my eyes...

"Are we already home?" I asked him, in sleepy fashion. He nodded and got out to get me from the passenger seat. I was suddenly being lifted. He hoisted me up in his arms with a smile and shut the door with his free hand.

"Come on. Let's get you to bed." He said to me, carrying me to the door. His sweetness never ceasing to amaze me.

"Awe Jake... you don't have to do that..." I tried to protest, feeling guilty again.

"I know I don't have to, but I want to. Taking care of you is just what I do, Bells." He replied sincerely to me, holding me close with one arm and unlocking the front door with the other. He carried me in and closed the door with his foot before taking me to his room and placing me on his bed. I watched him closely, as he knelt in front of me, taking off my shoes for me. What had I ever done to deserve someone like Jacob?


End file.
